Specific gravity

"I don't want to take a taxi, I don't want to go."

Xuan Zhao stood on a step lower than Cen Baiyan, raised his head and stared straight at Cen Baiyan.

He fell hard just now, his left trousers were dusty, and his left hand that was supporting the ground was also slightly scratched.

Cen Baiyan looked down at Xuan Zhao from above, and after a while, he asked, "Then what do you want to do?"

Xuan Zhao paused, then said in a hoarse voice, "Can I spend the New Year with you?"

"No need," Cen Baiyan couldn't hear any emotion in his voice, he added after a short pause, "I'm fine, better than before."

Xuan Zhao was stunned for a moment, his eyes suddenly blurred.

"You used to come to my school casually, and now you come to my house casually," Cen Baiyan laughed mockingly, "Xuan Zhao, you still like to make your own decisions so much."

Xuan Zhao felt that a piece of cotton soaked in acidic water was stuffed in his throat, and every breath he took was squeezing the cotton, and the water droplets continuously smashed into his body, corroding his internal organs bit by bit.

"I've learned a lot of new dishes, and I want to cook you New Year's Eve dinner," Xuan Zhao rubbed his eyes with his fingers, "I won't bother you, me."

Cen Baiyan remained silent, just looked at him with indifferent eyes.

This kind of gaze is the deadliest weapon for Xuan Zhao, it not only makes him feel embarrassed, but also makes him feel uncomfortable.His aching forehead was twitching, and he tried his best not to let Cen Baiyan see the slightest embarrassment in him, he raised the corners of his lips, smiled and said: "I know you are doing well alone, but I think— —”

"Since you know," Cen Baiyan interrupted him, his voice tightened slightly, "then what are you doing here?"

Why do you appear in front of me in a hurry, as if you really care about me and love me.

Why do you still come to disturb my mood, why do you still make me hurt.

Xuan Zhao rubbed his eyes hard again, the eye circles became red, his voice was extremely hoarse due to running around all night: "Because I like you, I want to celebrate the New Year with you, not only this year, but also for many years to come."

What he said was extremely serious, coupled with his red eye circles and messy hair at the moment, there was a fragile but firm sense of contradiction.

Cen Baiyan looked at Xuan Zhao, and after a while, he suddenly smiled slightly.

This smile was not a mockery, not a sarcasm, Xuan Zhao's heart softened, and then a slight sourness appeared on the back of his tongue.

He almost thought that he was wrong. How long has it been since Cen Baiyan smiled at him like this?

"If it was before, if you said this to me, I would have plucked all the stars from the sky and gave them to you." Cen Baiyan shook his head, his black hair trembling slightly, "But now, I just find it ridiculous. "

Doesn't Xuan Zhao know how ridiculous this sentence is? The only thing I dare not face is my sincerity.

It took him too long to see his heart clearly, but it was too late.

To save a person is not to make up for it, there is only one Cen Baiyan, and there is no second one in this world.When Cen Baiyan loved him, he was as passionate as a moth to a flame. He was the one who burned Cen Baiyan to ashes, and now he wants to put the ashes back together out of wishful thinking. Is it plausible?

——Xuan Zhao, are you plausible?

Panic and despair are like a gap in the white paper. At first there was only an inconspicuous trace, which gradually expanded and expanded. The feeling of being torn was constantly coming from Xuan Zhao's heart. His back was straight, but every cell in his body curled up in pain. Xuan Zhao looked deeply at Cen Baiyan, and a voice kept ringing in his mind: "I seem to have really lost him."

Xuanzhao pursed his lips tightly, and he stretched out his right hand, wanting to grab the corner of Cen Baiyan's clothes——

It was always like this before, whenever Cen Baiyan was upset or angry, he would grab the corner of Cen Baiyan's clothes, and Cen Baiyan would always laugh quickly, then hug him and kiss him.

However, Cen Baiyan took a step back and went up another step. Xuan Zhao's outstretched hand fell to nothing, and his five fingers trembled almost imperceptibly in the bleak cold wind.

Cen Baiyan looked down at him from a higher perspective, and said indifferently: "Xuan Zhao, this trick is no longer effective."

I don't know if it's because of the strong wind, Xuan Zhao's vision became more and more blurred, he rubbed his eyes with his empty hands, and the eyelashes were all wet.

Cen Baiyan turned his head: "You go, don't come again, really."

"I want to stay for a while longer," Xuan Zhao pinched his palms with his fingertips and said with a forced smile, "I won't disturb you, and I won't appear near your school like last time, I just—"

"Whatever," Cen Baiyan frowned, as if the patience he had given Xuan Zhao had come to an end, "You can stay wherever you want, as long as you don't appear in front of me."

Xuan Zhao's breath stagnated, and he swallowed the remaining sentence "I just want to be with you" back into his throat.

Luo Kai took care of himself and hurriedly prepared for a date. When he went downstairs, he saw the two standing on the steps outside the building from a distance. They seemed to be in some kind of subtle stalemate.

Especially Cen Baiyan, standing outside in single clothes and shorts in the nearly sub-zero weather, is not afraid of freezing himself into a stick.

He whispered, "What evil did you do?" He strode up, looked at Xuan Zhao, and then at Cen Baiyan: "Have you finished talking? If you haven't finished talking, go upstairs and continue. What are you doing standing here? Waiting for the sky to fall Money?"

Cen Baiyan let out a breath, and said to Luo Kai: "You came just in time, let him go out by the way."

"Okay," Luo Kai turned to Xuan Zhao and asked, "Little handsome guy, it's not safe here, let me give you a ride? Where do you live? If it's too far away, I can't take you there. My girlfriend is still there." Wait for me."

Xuanzhao was always able to maintain excellent demeanor and etiquette in front of outsiders. He took a deep look at Cen Baiyan, and then nodded to Luo Kai: "Thank you, just put me outside under the main road."

"That's no problem," Luo Kai made an "OK" gesture. He is most afraid of embarrassment, so he continued, "I am a typical person. What is it called in your Internet language? Oh, by the way! Yan control! Don't look at me as plain-looking, but my car is dedicated to carrying handsome men and beautiful women, I was yesterday."

"Stop babbling," Cen Baiyan said, "I won't be in the dark again."

Luo Kai scratched his head: "Let's go then, call me if you have anything to do."

Cen Baiyan waved his hand, turned and walked into the apartment building.

Since Luo Kai came down, he hadn't looked at Xuan Zhao.

Xuan Zhao stood where he was, looking at Cen Baiyan's back until Cen Baiyan got into the elevator.

He was holding a walking stick, and his figure was upright, like a thin but tall pine tree.

Luo Kai sighed silently in his heart: "Let's go, my car is right in front."

Xuan Zhao blinked slowly, smiled and said, "Thank you."

"Then what, be careful when you go down the stairs, don't fall." Luo Kai saw that Xuan Zhao was thin and lame, and always felt that a gust of wind could blow him away, so he said worriedly, "How about I Give you a hand?"

"No need," Xuan Zhao politely refused, "I can do it."

On the second floor of the apartment building, Cen Baiyan looked at Xuan Zhao's staggering pace despite his efforts to maintain a steady pace through the small window in the aisle. When Luo Kai's car disappeared from sight, he still stood there with complicated eyes.

After an unknown amount of time, Cen Baiyan raised his hands and rubbed his face heavily, then turned around and returned to the eighth floor from the stairwell.

On the first night of moving into the new house, Cen Baiyan didn't sleep well.

He didn't have a problem with the bed at first, but later moved into the unfinished building in the university town. In order to sleep on the same bed with Xuan Zhao, he pretended that he didn't sleep well, and if you don't let me sleep on this bed, I will have a headache and neck pain It hurts, and I feel uncomfortable all over.Facts have proved that too much nonsense can become true. After breaking up with Xuan Zhao, his sleep has really deteriorated, and even the slightest noise can wake him up.

The people living upstairs seemed to have an Indian accent. A man and a woman were arguing for some reason, chattering so loudly that it made Cen Baiyan's eardrums hurt.He turned over and got up, lit a cigarette in the dark - this is the best thing about living alone, if you want to smoke, you can smoke it, and you don't have to go to the balcony to catch the wind and get cold.

After smoking two cigarettes, the upstairs didn't intend to truce, Cen Baiyan was upset, put on his earphones and played a rock music, stood by the window and looked out, a group of black brothers were fighting on the alley, dare to go upstairs and downstairs Not even.

When the upstairs was quiet and the people downstairs dispersed, Cen Baiyan glanced at his phone, it was already past one o'clock in the morning.

He lay back on the bed, belatedly remembering that according to the date, today is the Lunar New Year.

Cen Baiyan was very sober at the moment, staring at the dark ceiling, it was hard to describe what kind of feeling he was feeling at the moment.

If I had to say it, it was probably nostalgia. After all, it was the most important festival of the year. Presumably, the streets and alleys in China were decorated with lights and red lanterns early, but he was wandering outside alone, alone.

In the six months since he came to the United States, Cen Baiyan has almost never experienced the feeling of "loneliness". One is because he is busy, studying, reading, doing problems and running the laboratory. He is like a spinning top all day long, and has no time to look at himself; The second is because Cen Baiyan's thinking is fairly clear, this is the path he chose to take, and the elders have made up their minds, so don't be hypocritical, making yourself feel pitiful, it is unnecessary.

Cen Baiyan turned over and had to admit that it was somewhat uncomfortable to be alone at a time like this.

Then he couldn't help but think of the last New Year's Eve, when his "family" unveiled its false mask in front of him for the first time. Wan Qianshan said that he was a white-eyed wolf coveting Wanjia's property. hand.Cen Baiyan was like a drowning man, trying to catch the only driftwood in the vast sea, so he ran from Xinyang to the harbor, walked through the winding alleys of the university town, stepped on countless earth pits, and a floating log My heart finally fell at the moment when I saw the lights on the third floor of the unfinished building.

How did that night go?

Xuanzhao cooked the noodles, they watched the Spring Festival Gala together, the skit was very funny, they kissed amid the cheers of the countdown.

These memories seemed to be ingrained in his mind, and when Cen Baiyan lightly touched the switch, the images would continuously pop up and play automatically.

Feeling sleepy, Cen Baiyan exhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

What's ridiculous is that he hasn't been able to forget it, and what's even more ridiculous is that these memories can still give him some kind of comfort to this day, and he needs to rely on this false warmth to fall asleep this night.

When he woke up the next day, Cen Baiyan felt a little uncomfortable, dizzy, stuffy nose and sore throat, he probably caught a cold yesterday.

He didn't pay much attention, packed up his things and went to the research room. The professor asked him to look at a surveying and mapping data and hand in the report a week later.

Luo Kai graciously invited him to come to his house for a New Year's Eve dinner, but Cen Baiyan declined; Xu Mingyang asked him if he wanted to go to the party, but Cen Baiyan was not interested either.

The brothers in the country came to pay him New Year's greetings one after another, talking a lot of rubbish, Cen Baiyan hung up the video, the corners of his mouth were still curled up.

He wanted to send a message to Cen Jingxiang and Cen Qing, and opened the group chat of the three of them, but he didn't know what to say after resting his fingers on the keyboard for a long time, so he decided to give up after thinking about it.

The community sent news that there was a lion dance parade and a fireworks display in Chinatown at night. Cen Baiyan took a taxi to go there, and the scene was already crowded with people.

He was suffering from a severe headache, standing in the back row of the crowd looking up at the fireworks, next to a father and son, the child was about three or four years old, riding on his father's neck, clapping his hands excitedly and cheering.

The lion dance team slowly approached from the other side of the street, and the atmosphere became more and more enthusiastic. The children nearby shouted "Wow" enthusiastically, and Cen Baiyan's mood also rose a little bit.

When the sound of gongs and drums was loudest, Cen Baiyan was patted on the shoulder. He thought it was someone accidentally bumping into him in the crowd, so he didn't pay attention. However, two seconds later, he was patted on the shoulder again.

Cen Baiyan turned his head, and was surprised to see Xuan Zhao standing behind him, wearing a camel coat and a light gray scarf, holding something in his hand, and his eyes curved into two arcs when he smiled.

The fireworks exploded behind him with a "bang".

In the hustle and bustle, he saw Xuan Zhao's lips move, but he couldn't hear what Xuan Zhao was saying, and the lip shape seemed to be a "good coincidence".

The lion dance team continued to move forward, Cen Baiyan frowned slowly, his eyes were as sharp as a falcon, and he said in a deep voice, "Are you following me?"

Then, Xuan Zhao's smile froze, and the fireworks reflected in his pupils suddenly fell, followed by a dark night sky.

"No," Xuan Zhao pursed his lips and explained, "I wanted to wait for you downstairs at your house, but I was afraid that you would be unhappy. I remember you told me that you would travel to Australia during the winter vacation. It’s Chinese New Year in Chinatown, so I’m here to try my luck.”

Cen Baiyan obviously didn't believe it, and turned around without saying a word.

Looking at his silent back, Xuan Zhao felt that he had been stabbed in the chest again, but he healed the wound quickly and told himself that he was not sad.

Compared with the harm he caused Cen Baiyan, this little pain was nothing.

Xuanzhao only gave himself a second to build up his mind, and then he took a step forward and stood beside Cen Baiyan, his eyes still smiling, he lifted the thing in his hand and shook it: "I made two dish, do you want to try it?"

It turned out that what he was carrying in his arms was an insulated box.

Cen Boyan turned a deaf ear.

"I've been here this afternoon. I think if I can meet you here, it's probably a chance that God gave me to chase you back." Xuan Zhao's quiet voice came from beside my ear.

"Then just pretend you haven't met me before." Cen Baiyan said coldly, turned around and was about to leave.

Xuan Zhao was a step ahead of him, he didn't even need a crutch, and stretched out his left hand to tightly grasp Cen Baiyan's wrist.

"If I hadn't met you," Xuan Zhao looked firmly at Cen Baiyan's stern side face, his chest heaving slightly due to excitement, "that's okay, so what if God doesn't give me a chance, I won't give up, Cen Baiyan, I I want to start from the beginning and pursue you."

God has never treated him preferentially, but today, he met Cen Baiyan.

Xuan Zhao's palm was very hot, and the heat came from his wrist. Cen Baiyan's strong forearm muscles suddenly froze, and the "buzzing" tinnitus became more and more intense, and Cen Baiyan only felt a splitting headache.