Specific gravity

The nurse said that Xuanyu was in good condition recently, and while resting in the yard in the afternoon, he made two cups of tea with great interest.

"They said you drank too much tea," Xuan Zhao leaned his crutch against the door, walked into the ward with the help of the wall, "Aren't you afraid you won't be able to sleep at night?"

"Xiao Zhao?" Xuan Yu was sitting on the sofa reading a book, when he heard the sound, he raised his head and said pleasantly, "It's already night, why are you here at this time?"

Xuan Zhao sat down beside her, and wrapped the thin blanket around her body: "I just have time."

"You, you are going to graduate soon, don't always come to me, writing papers, looking for a job, you must be busy with a lot of things recently, right?" Xuanyu looked at his son's thin cheeks distressedly, "Are you thin? gone?"

"No," Xuanzhao smiled, picked up the book in Xuanyu's hand, ""Siddhartha"?"

Xuanyu studied German in college, and Xuanzhao stored in his mind the pictures about "warmth". Part of it was Xuanyu reading German poems to him softly before going to bed. Little Xuanzhao couldn't understand, so he opened his eyes and looked at his mother. The shape of his mouth changes, and he often looks at it, and falls asleep without knowing it.

"I'm getting old, I haven't done my homework for many years," Xuanyu touched his earlobe shyly, "I can't understand the German version anymore, so I have to read the Chinese version."

Xuanzhao took European literature as a sophomore in his sophomore year. After reading this book, he talked about his journey of seeking Tao. The old professor who taught the class was full of praise, saying that this book is a perfect interpretation of Eastern philosophy. Love it The world cannot be hated, but learned to observe it with love, wonder and awe.

Xuanzhao had a hard time that year, his left knee was deformed, and he had another major operation; the news of his illness was not concealed, and Xuanyu knew about it, and Xuanyu was so anxious that he wanted to rush out of the nursing home Looking at him, he fell in the yard and suffered a slight concussion. Because he couldn't see Xuan Zhao, he became more and more anxious, and his condition deteriorated very badly.

Later, Xuanzhao dropped that class, and "Siddhartha" was also thrown into a trash can by him.

Literature could not heal his illness, and it seemed worthless in his cramped life.

"Xiao Zhao, there is a saying that I really like, I'll show you too." Xuan Yu opened the book, and there was a fresh leaf in one of the pages, which she should have picked up in the garden in the afternoon.

There was a sentence on the page, which she had highlighted with a bright yellow highlighter.

Xuan Zhao looked down.

——I no longer compare this world with the perfect world I expect and shape, but accept this world, love it, and belong to it.

Just one sentence, but Xuan Zhao watched it for a long time.

Next to the end of the sentence, Xuanyu specially wrote a note-"To Xiaozhao".

"I'm afraid I'll forget it, so write it down to remind myself, and I'll show you when you come." Xuan Yu was wearing a dark gray blanket over her shoulders, and the soft yellow light from the floor lamp fell on her shoulders. Zhao smiled, just like Xuan Zhao's mother in memory.

Xuan Zhao rubbed the words on the book with his fingertips, his eye circles were slightly hot, and after a while, he asked in a low voice: "Mom, have you accepted this world?"

"Not yet," Xuan Yu held Xuan Zhao's hand with a loving expression, "I didn't accept this world, so I have been living in pain. Xiao Zhao, mom doesn't want you to live in pain."

Xuan Zhao lowered his head deeply: "Impossible, Mom, I can't accept it."

Xuan Yu turned his head and quickly wiped away a drop of tears that fell from his eyes, then raised his hand and gently pinched the back of his son's neck, just like what Xuan Zhao did when she was a child when she was clamoring for candy.

"Xiao Zhao, you're not happy at all, are you?" Xuan Yu gently stroked the back of his head, "What's wrong with you?"

She's a useless mother, always going crazy, hurting herself and her son.However, mother and child are connected. Since Xuanzhao was in her womb, she read poems, sang songs, and told stories to Xuanzhao. Xuanzhao is her child. How can the child's emotions be hidden from the mother?

Why is her Xiao Zhao getting more and more unhappy?

Xuan Zhao looked at the back of his feet, the temperature of Xuan Yu's palm came from the back of his head, a strange soreness welled up from the depths of his body little by little, until his nose was sour and his eye sockets were hot.

After the age of seven, Xuan Zhao never had the urge to throw himself into his mother's arms and cry.

Under the light, Xuanyu saw that his shoulders were trembling oppressively, the amplitude was extremely small.

Xuan Yu lowered his eyes, and his tears stained a dark trace on the blanket.

"Mom," Xuan Zhao's breathing sounded broken, "I met someone."

Xuan Yu asked softly, "How is he?"

"Okay," Xuan Zhao took a deep breath, covered his face with his hands, "he's fine, he's the best person I've ever met, there won't be anyone better than him."

"He's so nice," Xuan Yu gently embraced Xuan Zhao, letting Xuan Zhao rest his head on her shoulder, "Does Xiao Zhao like him?"

Xuan Zhao was stunned for a moment, first subconsciously shook his head, then nodded again, and then shook his head even more vigorously.

"I'm not good to him, I'm very bad." Xuan Zhao said tremblingly.

"Silly boy, from now on you have to treat him better than he treats you." Xuan Yu shook his shoulders slightly.

Xuan Zhao had blue veins on the back of his hand, and after a long time he said, "But I can't."

He only knows how to hate someone, but he doesn't know how to love someone.

Cen Baiyan taught him "love", but he didn't learn it well, and now Cen Baiyan is leaving too.

Cen Baiyan will sit on a plane for more than ten hours, start a new life in a new place, and meet new people.

He will love others.

——Every time this thought comes up, Xuan Zhao's heart can't stop the stabbing pain.

"As long as you really like him," Xuan Yu sighed silently, "you will naturally."

Xuan Zhao is like a child who has done something wrong and is at a loss, panting heavily.

The next day, Haigang International Airport.

After completing the check-in, Cen Baiyan took a cup of coffee from Chen Wei.

Had dinner with the buddies from the basketball team last night, Cen Baiyan didn't want them to see him off, so he got them all drunk, and sure enough, none of them got up this morning.

"Leave now?" Chen Wei said, "I'm quite reluctant."

"As for what?" Cen Baiyan cast a contemptuous look at him, "I'll be back after ten months."

"Ten months?!" Chen Wei was dumbfounded, "What do you mean, you won't come back for the Chinese New Year?"

Cen Baiyan raised his head and took a sip of coffee: "If you don't come back, the round-trip air ticket will cost tens of thousands."

"Brother, help you out!" Chen Wei said, "I can't let you die in another country, can I?"

Cen Baiyan's forehead twitched: "...you are fucking illiterate, so don't use idioms indiscriminately."

The two had a quick bite to eat at KFC at the airport. It was about the same time, and it was time to go through the security check.

Chen Wei hugged Cen Baiyan heavily: "Go over there and do well, if you need money, just say it, don't be too shameless."

"Don't worry, if you have hands and feet, you won't be hungry for anything." Cen Baiyan patted Chen Wei on the back, "Let's go."

He had few things, and after checking in a suitcase, there was only a shoulder bag left. Looking at Cen Baiyan's lonely back, Chen Wei suddenly felt very uncomfortable in his heart.

Even though it was a year of exchange abroad, how could there be such a tragic feeling of being away from home?

Chen Wei sighed, it felt like the world was turned upside down overnight, Uncle Wan was a scumbag who abandoned his wife and son, Aunt Cen was a mistress who destroyed other people's families, and Xuan Zhao, whom he had always liked so much, was doing it for revenge. Get close to Cen Baiyan.

As a bystander, Chen Wei felt complicated when he recalled all this, let alone Cen Baiyan who was in it.

It was a bad thing for him to choose to get out of this quagmire.

Thinking about it this way, Chen Wei felt relieved again.

There were not many people at the exit security check, Cen Baiyan was the last one at the end of the line, and there was only the last person in front.

With the passport in his hand, he suddenly had the urge to turn around and take another look at the city, and he stopped with a slight movement of his toes.

Don't look back, Cen Baiyan said to himself in his heart, don't look back.

"Cen Baiyan!"

Suddenly, a hurried call sounded behind him.

Cen Baiyan froze in place for an instant.

"What are you doing here?" Chen Wei said warily, "You think you didn't hurt Bai Yan enough?"

"Cen Boyan," Xuanzhao panted slightly, ".Boyan."

The blood all over his body froze in an instant, Cen Baiyan squeezed his fists, as if he didn't hear it.

"I'm here to deliver something to you." Xuan Zhao said, "You are left behind."

After a while, Cen Baiyan turned around, looked at Xuan Zhao, and said coldly, "What?"

Xuan Zhao had bulging veins on the back of his hand while supporting his walking stick, his hair was disheveled from running, and his temples were wet with sweat.

He looked at Cen Baiyan, and slowly spread the palm of his right hand: "The key."

That was the key to their cottage in the college town.

"Throw it away." Cen Baiyan said expressionlessly.

Xuan Zhao lowered his eyes, but did not withdraw his open palm.

"Haven't you played enough?" Cen Baiyan sneered, "What else do you want to play?"

Xuan Zhao's fingertips trembled slightly: "That's not the case, I—"

He has always been able to plan and plan with ease, but at this time he rarely showed a little panic, but in Cen Baiyan's eyes it seemed extremely absurd.

"I don't want it anymore, I don't want any of it." Cen Baiyan said.

Xuanzhao's heart was beating violently one after another, it was the first time in his life that he was so dazed.

——If I want to be nice to him, how can I be nice to him?

--what should I do?

"Bo Yan even said no, didn't you hear me?" Chen Wei raised his hand impatiently.

Ding--

The bunch of keys drew an arc in the air and hit the ground.

Xuan Zhao maintained the posture with his right palm outstretched, and closed his eyes heavily.

Cen Baiyan's eyelashes trembled slightly, his nails cut deep into the tiger's mouth, and then he left without looking back.