I said I was going to get a divorce

01

Young Master Gu straddled the locomotive halfway, standing on the street that was getting more and more autumnal, looking at the Audi in front of him that had been hit with its reversing lights crooked and half of its rear deflated, and listening to the shrill warning sound, he stuffed it into his trouser pocket. I touched it inside, touched the humble 50 yuan note, and let out a long sigh.

There are two things in the world that are the most helpless.

It's going to rain, and mother is going to urge the marriage.

This starts three days ago.

For more than twenty years since he was born, Young Master Gu's biggest worry is that there are only 24 hours a day, which is not enough for him to squander.

As for romance, he has no lack of it. He is grateful to his parents for giving him a face that has been photoshopped by God. Since kindergarten, there have been little girls vying to be his girlfriend.

This phenomenon indulged Young Master Gu's flamboyance, and the people he had dated from childhood to adulthood could fill five carts.

Girls are more beautiful than each other, and it is inevitable that there are a few fierce ones, so that now, seeing women is like seeing a scourge, but just smelling a softer feminine perfume, he has a conditioned reflex and wants to hide.

He can hide, but his mother does not agree.

"Gu Changji, are you listening to me?"

"I'm listening," Gu Changji turned his back to his mother, and rolled his eyes, "The second daughter of Dong Li's family..."

"what do you think?"

"The temper is too big, it is difficult to serve."

"He has a doctorate in economics." Wu Yingxiu reminded him.

"What am I going to do with a Ph.D.? Open a university?"

Wu Yingxiu gritted her teeth and hugged her arms: "Then who do you want to marry, the little model who took pornographic photos with you?"

"I've explained it 800 times, that picture is from P, we've been separated for [-] years, and we haven't slept in bed yet," Gu Changji scratched his head and wanted to take a puff of cigarette, "Take a step back and say, What's wrong with being a little model? You need to have a face and a figure, and sweet words can make you happy..."

Wu Yingxiu threw a pillow on the back of his head: "Fuck you! It's your vision! What can you do if you are good-looking? Can you take care of your family if you are good-looking? Can you be a good wife for you?"

"Aren't you just good-looking and a good wife?"

Wu Yingxiu's continuous cannon went silent in one go, and she was so angry that she couldn't laugh or cry.

Gu Shuo, who was secretly drinking tea with a cup next to him, reminded, "Honey, don't be misled by him, he just rolled his eyes."

Gu Changji: "..."

Wu Yingxiu remembered being angry again, and slapped the table: "I called you back today, not to discuss with you, but to inform you that you have to get this marriage, or you have to get it if you don't."

"Why are you so impatient?" Gu Changji tried to ease the atmosphere, "Thomas Brown said that the best things will always appear when you don't expect them—"

Wu Yingxiu interrupted him: "What Thomas Stony, I'm not interested in these imaginary things."

Gu Changji lost his patience, frowned and said, "I just don't want to get married."

"Oh, why don't you want to get married? You give me a reason for refusing?"

"Because I'm gay, I'm a closet, I talk so many girlfriends because I'm afraid that you will find out..."

Wu Yingxiu froze for a moment, then frowned: "Where did you learn this? Are you still making such silly jokes now?"

She seemed to be really angry, with her hips crossed, like a dominatrix: "When will you grow up? You are 25 years old now, not 15 years old, and you can still do nothing every day?"

Gu Changji argued: "I go to work in the company regularly, how can I be called doing nothing, the little anchor you like is really doing nothing, and you spend one hundred and eighty thousand a day on him..."

"You compare with him? He is my son and you are my son?"

"I also want to ask this question, who is your real son?"

"He is my own son!" Wu Yingxiu was so angry that her eyes turned green. "I can still hear him sing a song for me if I spend 10 yuan. Can you hear a sound when it hits you?"

Gu Changji: "..."

Gu Shuo stood up, smiled and sat down with his wife in his arms, and said to Gu Changji, "Don't make your mommy angry."

Gu Changji's skin was aroused by the sound of "Mommy": "It's something that can be talked about, but who is going to mess with it first?"

Wu Yingxiu was about to explode again, but was stopped by Gu Shuo.

"Your mommy is actually very considerate of you." Gu Shuo took another sip of tea, "Look at the end of your life, you went to study in London. You must choose some philosophy department..."

"I went to Oxford." Gu Changji said.

"Oh, almost." Gu Shuo sipped a wolfberry in his mouth, and chewed it, "What did you learn about modernism..."

"It's postmodernism." Gu Changji interrupted him again.

"It's almost there," Gu Shuo said, "I came back with a certificate. I'm a young returnee. It took me two hours and 43 minutes to sort out a report..."

Gu Changji: "..."

"Well, I shouldn't be deserting at work. But I'm studying philosophy, not market economy," Gu Changji tried hard to make up for himself, "the major is not right for me at all."

"Oh, then your hobby of being a cook at home now matches your major."

Gu Changji: "..."

It is really the vengeful nature of the nouveau riche. What he joked at the beginning, "I might as well go home and be a cook when I do these things", has been remembered by his father until now.

"That is to say, in order for you to pursue your chef dream, I spent 120 pounds."

Gu Changji: "...It doesn't need to be accurate to the decimal point."

"My accounting skills are more reliable than yours." Gu Shuo said, "So I knew your dreams were so pure and simple, why didn't I send you to New Oriental?"

"No," Gu Changji said, "Well, I admit that I haven't helped my family, and I accept criticism, but is this a reason to force me to get married?"

Gu Shuo: "You can help the family when you get married."

"Let's not say that this logic is not smooth," Gu Changji spread his hands, "What can I do now that I am married? What can a certificate bind me to? I can't figure it out. You and my mother are still in their prime, and my sister is also in the prime of life." Why are you putting so much pressure on me now?"

"Then how many... how many years will I die?" Wu Yingxiu asked with a sneer, "What do you do for a living? Are you going to be a cook?"

"What's wrong with the cook? You are also self-made, so you can't have professional discrimination. Compared with that manager, I really want to be a cook, at least what I like to do."

After Wu Yingxiu heard this, she curled her mouth and cried out of anger.

Gu Changji: "..."

This is his mother's usual offensive, she will cry if she refuses to listen, anyway, if she cries, her heart will soften.

Gu Shuo glanced at him, and he was going to go forward to coax him like before.But Wu Yingxiu opened his hand: "Then you can be your cook!"

Gu Changji was dumbfounded: "What?"

"Go to be your cook, and you also go to build your home from scratch, don't stay in my house!" She stood up and shouted, "Sister-in-law Yan! Go and lock Gu Changji's room door!"

Standing at the gate, Gu Changji was still in a daze, not understanding why it seemed like he wanted to sever the relationship between mother and child all of a sudden.

Is it something that should happen in a civilized human society to sever the relationship between mother and child without getting married?

But what made him even more confused was the situation in front of him. He grabbed his shirt and refused to let go: "No, it's fine if you take the watch away, but you still have to keep one of the clothes for me?"

"This shirt," Wu Yingxiu directed Mrs. Yan's movements, with a cold face, and there were still wet tears on it, "I bought it in Paris this spring, 890 Euros."

Seeing that Mrs. Yan was about to take off his pants again, Gu Changji pressed his waistband firmly: "Don't go too far, are you going to let me run naked?"

Fortunately, his own mother was a mother who was pregnant for ten months after all, and in the end, she didn't kill them all, and she didn't let him perform performance art on the street.

Sister Yan sent him out of the gate of the villa, stuffed some money into his trouser pocket, and said, "Mister gave it."

Gu Changji was almost moved, until the iron gate ruthlessly closed in front of his eyes, his own mother turned and entered the house without looking at him.

He took out something from his trouser pocket. He thought it was so thin, it was probably a card, but he didn't expect it to be even thinner, it was a banknote.

50 yuan whole.

The head of state has a very kind green smile.

He seemed to be able to hear the system prompts echoing in the air.

Gu Changji, OUT.

To sum up, Young Master Gu, or former Young Master Gu, finally ushered in homelessness for the first time in his life.

He was also a little angry, and didn't even go to check if the card was frozen, and didn't want to go back to the apartment close to the company. His own mother was always in a bad job, so she must have called someone to deal with it.

He wanted to hold his anger to the end, so he borrowed a house from Fa Xiao Liu Xi, who had just returned to China.

Liu Xi was ordered to die, absolutely not to give Gu Changji financial support, but the infrastructure can still be borrowed, and he readily gave Gu Changji the house he used to hide comics and figurines.

So after settling down, Gu Changji lay on the big carpet printed with two-dimensional big-breasted cute girls, while doubting Liu Xi's hobbies, he made up his mind to seriously apply for a job.

Of course it is impossible to really be a chef.

Young Master Gu is just like thousands of young masters in this world, who grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth and had to learn everything.Just like thousands of young masters, they are too lazy to learn everything because they are afraid of hardship.

Frankly speaking, as the hero of a story, he doesn't have any special skills to attract attention, which is really not glorious.

But Young Master Gu has his own ideas.

Why can't the world accept mediocre human beings?Everyone wants to be a master, so who will build the bottom of the pyramid?

Liu Xi said: "It's acceptable, as long as mediocre people don't dislike their low wages."

Gu Changji: "..."

"Then let me change the question. Why don't people like to listen to the truth." After the third interview, Young Master Gu said: "They asked me to analyze the prospects of their company. Who can't find problems? I started from the perspective of social philosophy. From the perspective, I mentioned a few hidden dangers they have.”

Liu Xi took out a pack of nougat crisps and ate them.

"You can't say it too directly," Liu Xi said, "It will make them feel very embarrassed?"

"That's really Interesting," Gu Changji was driving Liu Xi's locomotive at this time, and the wind was so loud that he had to raise his hand and press the Bluetooth headset, "If my dad ran the business with face, he would have filed for bankruptcy protection hundreds of years ago gone."

"That's the art of speaking, isn't it?"

"When you see a doctor, do you want the doctor to tell you 'you have a brain tumor', or do you want him to tell you 'a round, cute and naughty little thing was born in your wise head'?"

Liu Xi: "...I don't want to hear either of them."

"That's right, it's just tabooing disease and avoiding medicine. There is no difference between your mentality and theirs."

"I can't say no to you, Young Master Gu, can you stop making fun of me?" Liu Xi immediately begged for mercy.

Gu Changji was angry.

One is to be angry with his mother's capriciousness, and the other is to be angry with himself for being too spoiled, so he really can't do without the status of a young master.

For three days, he didn't care about going to his family's business, and his opponent's territory was scruples about him, so he had no choice but to retreat and circle around in middle-level independent companies, but he didn't like it here or there.

He even wants to go racing now, but Liu Xi's broken car has not been repaired for 800 years, and he is afraid of problems.He is poor and empty now, and he can't afford to pay for medical expenses and maintenance expenses.

He was even more angry, aggrieved, and about to explode.

"Oh, I didn't say it," Liu Xi said earnestly, "Why do you have to suffer this? Say sorry and be subdued, and then use a gentle way to coax it, you are not very good at it?"

"This is not a problem that can be solved by being soft."

Gu Changji got a headache when he mentioned this.

"Do you know what my mother is doing? Last month, ten or eight girls went to the house to bring them home, and one time they brought back ten! Lied to me that she wanted to eat the porridge I cooked, but as soon as she entered the house ——Hey! It's like a talent show, sitting in a row and looking at me, and those who don't know think that my Qing Dynasty is not dead yet!"

Liu Xi: "Pfft."

In order to hold back his laughter, he immediately slapped his thigh righteously: "This is too much! Our brother Haw is a man who lacks women! Isn't this looking down on our brother Haw!"

"Okay, I'll accept your rainbow fart." He twisted his neck, "Besides, last month, she called her group of old sisters over to analyze the reason why I haven't found a date yet. As a result, the three Guess I'm fickle, two guess I don't like women, and one actually thinks I'm impotent!"

Liu Xi: "Then you are?"

Gu Changji was so angry that his lungs hurt: "What do you mean?"

"Oh, calm down, impotence is not a big problem... Ah no, I mean, auntie is really going too far!"

In fact, after calming down and thinking about it, he felt that things were a little strange.

In the past, my mother would also care about his dating, but she has never been so eager to get him married like she is now.

Get married, can you just find someone to get married?

He still wants a girl who can make his heart move, so that he can willingly dedicate his freedom.

In fact, such a person has appeared before.

But, well, let's not mention it.

"Let's not mention this first? Speaking of which...Brother, do you want to go to an alumni association in high school?"

"Alumni Association?"

In the past, he might still join in the fun, but now that the conflict between him and his family has spread more or less, who knows how those people laughed at him behind his back.

"I heard that He Zhang was invited. Do you remember? She looks like a girl with long hair and her back is straighter than a ruler."

Of course Gu Changji remembered it, not only remembered it, but also left a deep impression on it.

At that time, he unfortunately sat at the front and back tables with He Zhang for a while, and every time he looked up, he felt that there was indeed a girl sitting in front of him.

Thin and tall, with a cold and hard personality, and a poisonous mouth.

The little eyes that glance back at people are like sharpened knives.

"As soon as I returned to China, I heard girls talking about him, what kind of jade tree is facing the wind, so romantic..."

Gu Changji: "Oh."

"I heard that I'm still an orchestra conductor. I didn't spend a penny from my parents for studying abroad. I bought an Audi R8 with all my own money after returning to China for a year. Do you think it's possible? Isn't it too bragging?"

Young, promising, do not spend family money.

This is probably typical of the favorite son of the Gu family's parents.

So Gu Changji said: "Well, I don't like him very much."

Liu Xi: "Ah? Right? You think so too?"

Gu Changji was preoccupied with talking, forgetting that he had already entered a speed-limited section, and was about to pass a traffic light ahead, and the Audi driving in front of him had already started to slow down, barely stopping.

Gu Changji also immediately slowed down, but the broken car lost its chain at a critical moment, and the speed couldn't drop, so he had to adjust the angle urgently.

But it was too late, Gu Changji looked at the front wheel of the locomotive, and gave Audi a passionate kiss on the right side.