Leisurely with the wind

Chu Suifeng soaked in the bathtub, let the water submerge his nostrils, felt the suffocation feeling, then struggled to get out of the water, regained the oxygen in the air, and enjoyed the feeling of the air entering the lungs.

This is not the first time she has done this. It is said that she has already experienced this feeling when she was a baby. The difference is that she did not have any power to regain a new life. It can't grow that big.

Thinking about it this way, she is undoubtedly lucky to be able to live until now, and she should know how to be grateful, but almost all the people who can make her grateful are dead, and the only thing that exists makes her not know how to be grateful. Maybe after she has some money, she can use money to repay some, but I don't know if it will make that benefactor angry.

Chu Suifeng smiled wryly and shook his head, shaking off the water stains on his head, but in the end he still had to rely on his injured left hand. Although both hands were injured, the left hand was slightly injured, which made her feel better. The ability to take care of herself, she is not used to letting others take care of herself.

The pain on her hand brought her back to reality. Xu Youran's confession didn't make her feel distressed. What troubled her was that she couldn't get rid of those old memories. Today she is full of anger, no, since she arrived in that small mountain village From that moment on, she has been angry.

It was so similar, except for the newly built building, everything else was very similar to the hometown she didn't want to recall.Most people are full of nostalgia for their hometown, and even many old people will talk about returning to their roots with fallen leaves.

But she didn't want to, not at all, even if she died, she didn't want to go back to that mountain village full of nightmares.

Insults, beatings, isolation, pity, ridicule, serious injuries, that mountain village brought too many negative emotions to her, and it was the origin of her nightmare life, even though everything was in the past, but the scars in her heart were no longer there possibility of recovery.

The college career that started like fleeing from disaster, because of the past encounters, did not bring me any good memories, and I will always be a strange person in the eyes of my classmates.

She tried her best not to turn the feelings in her heart into anger and self-defeating, but the last effort just turned her into an indifferent person.

She didn't know what kind of person was normal, but when she came to Xu Youran's house and lived here, she felt that she was normal.

No one knows himself, no one knows his past, everything is a new beginning.

Chu Suifeng thought of Xu Youran's confession, she knew very well that this was just a whim of the young lady, it was just a love game, she couldn't start this kind of game with the young lady, because she likes this place, if possible, She hopes to live here as long as possible.

When Xu Youran had a lover, she had to leave, but before that, Chu Suifeng didn't want to leave, here gave her a normal time, and made her feel like a normal person.

If you start this kind of game with Xu Youran, once the game is over, she can no longer stay. This game will not lose anything to Xu Youran, but she will lose the normality that she finally got. She can't afford to lose.

Chu Suifeng only hoped that this young lady could wake up overnight and then let go of herself, treating everything as a whim or a fantasy. After waking up, everything would return to its original state.

Chu Suifeng thought very well, but it was a pity that such a wish was destined not to be realized. Early the next morning, Chu Suifeng woke up habitually. He did not sleep well yesterday, and his memory turned into a dream, which made her suffer After struggling all night, even when she woke up, she still felt physically and mentally exhausted.

It is definitely impossible to fall asleep, but getting up and cooking is also a big challenge for Chu Suifeng now.

Looking at the time, Chu Suifeng climbed up resignedly. Although it was troublesome, but if he wanted to let the young lady Xu Youran get him something to eat, Chu Suifeng felt that he would starve to death, at least the way of steak and salad It's really not acceptable to her, mainly because she can't accept salads. Even if the vegetables are only boiled, they must at least be cooked.

Chu Suifeng doesn't think the method of putting all kinds of lettuce together and stirring it with sauce can be called cooking, anyway, she can't accept it.

When he walked to the kitchen, the original food reserves had already been eaten up, which made Chu Suifeng a little depressed. If he had known that he would not let the refrigerator be empty, even if he was tired of eating, it would be better than having nothing to eat.

The poor refrigerator was not replenished in time, and now there were only vegetables and milk left, not even toast, which made Chu Suifeng completely desperate.

The hands that felt fine yesterday, can't move at all at this time, the feeling of numbness and swelling is indescribably uncomfortable, and the most important thing is that they are still very inflexible.

Chu Suifeng didn't understand why after one night, he felt that the injury had worsened. Could it be because he moved around yesterday?

Chu Suifeng was a little guilty. Yesterday, some hygiene needs of the body were solved. It was impossible to keep her hands still, but she was not sure whether the slight movement yesterday would cause the consequences today.

But Chu Suifeng is not worried, after all, this is not the first time she has been injured, she still has some experience in this kind of thing, although she feels a little uncomfortable now, as long as the injury does not worsen, then in a few days, she will be a good man again.

But obviously, at this time, Chu Suifeng has no way to be a good guy, he can only do what he wants.

So Chu Suifeng went back to his room, planning to pass the time, and then ordered takeaway when it was a little later, it was still too early.

Xu Youran faintly woke up from the dream. The experience of life and death made her extremely fearful, and the situation of her unsuccessful confession made her even more troubled and uneasy. Naturally, she couldn't fall asleep in such a mood, let alone an insomniac like her. People may also suffer from insomnia.

But everything yesterday made Xu Youran very tired. She knew very well that Chu Suifeng's body was no longer able to take care of her, and now she was needed to take care of Chu Suifeng, so she urgently needed a comfortable sleep. He took two sleeping pills just to make himself fall asleep.

Perhaps it was because the dosage of sleeping pills was doubled, so Xu Youran finally fell asleep this time, but it was already noon when she woke up, and the worst part was that she felt limp all over, without any strength.

After taking a hot bath and resting for a while, Xu Youran finally regained her vitality. When she hurried downstairs, she found the fast food box in the dining room. Obviously, this was Chu Suifeng's breakfast and Lunch, and have your own portion too.

Seeing such a situation, Xu Youran felt unspeakably bitter. She originally hoped to perform well today so that Chu Suifeng could accept her feelings, but she didn't expect that she would still be the one to be taken care of when Chu Suifeng's hands were injured.

The food is very simple, breakfast is wonton, lunch is rice bowl, they are all foods that can be eaten by Chu Suifeng, but they are very simple and not nutritious.

These two things seemed to be very cheap takeaways. Xu Youran had never eaten them, but she didn't want Chu Suifeng to eat them when he was injured, which made her feel distressed.

When she opened the refrigerator, Xu Youran was silent. There were really limited things she could cook. When she was in college, she simply learned some cooking skills for the sake of convenience. Eat a nutritious breakfast.

However, she thought that Chu Suifeng would probably not accept anything other than steak.

Taking out her mobile phone, she directly called a meal place next to the villa. In the past, when there was no food, she would call this number to order takeaway. The cost was naturally much more expensive than Chu Suifeng's takeaway, but Xu Youran didn't There is no shortage of this money, and I will not wrong myself for a little money, not to mention that this time Chu Suifeng was injured, if I don't get some delicious food for Chu Suifeng to eat, no matter what Xu Youran thinks, she will feel uncomfortable.

The meal was prepared for dinner. After making the phone call, Xu Youran looked at the remaining time and suddenly felt a little depressed. She came to the door of Chu Suifeng's room, knocked on the door lightly, and searched quickly in her mind. For various reasons, she was afraid that Chu Suifeng would not want to see her.

"come in."

Xu Youran was stunned by the sound coming from the room, and it took a while to realize that Chu Suifeng let him in so easily?

After opening the door, he found Chu Suifeng leaning against the head of the bed and watching TV.

"Chu Suifeng, how do you feel? I'm sorry, I wanted to get up early to take care of you, but I overslept." Xu Youran explained in a panic. Her brain was very confused, and she didn't know what to do at this time. Say what is right.

Chu Suifeng glanced at Xu Youran blankly, then smiled and said, "No need, you don't have to think so much, you are my boss, how can I ask the boss to take care of the employees."

Xu Youran walked to Chu Suifeng's bed and sat down, looking at Chu Suifeng seriously, "No, I am not just your boss, you are not just my employee. I like you, you are my pursuit My love, you saved me, so you are also my benefactor. The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid by a spring, and the kindness of saving a life needs to be promised by your body. So, don't treat me as your boss at this time, okay? "

Chu Suifeng sighed, it seems that the young lady didn't think clearly all night, "Xu Youran, it seems that you still haven't thought clearly. Well, let's analyze it. You said you like me, you Do you know me? Do you know everything about me? Do you understand my heart? How long have we only known each other? Your so-called liking is an impulse based on your own survival from a desperate situation. I am yours Employee, saving you may not be a necessary job for an employee, but at least it is a person's normal conscience. I save you not because I have any different feelings for you, but because I am a person with conscience. You In order to repay the grace of saving my life, I have to promise myself with my body, so how do you know if I need you to promise me with my body?"

Xu Youran said anxiously: "Yes, we have known each other not long ago, and I do know nothing about you, but this does not mean that my feelings for you are just a momentary impulse. The days with you made me feel The warmth of home, after the death of my parents, I lived alone in this house with all the good memories of the past, but the people who were with me are no longer there. I am sad every day, every day is painful, Then I suffered from insomnia. I took medicine and saw a doctor, but I couldn't get rid of the pain in my heart, until you came to this house. After you lived in this house, this house was reinvigorated , Even I was relieved unconsciously. Although the insomnia still troubled me, but the smile appeared on my face again. I like that you fall asleep with your arms around me every night. In your arms, I feel I feel at ease. The few nights when I fell asleep in your arms were the most comfortable nights I slept. I couldn’t see my heart clearly at first. I’ve never been in love, not to mention the love between two women is not so easy It is acceptable. I have never found any signs of liking women. I don’t like women. I like you. I am very unfamiliar with this feeling, but I have already noticed it in my heart, but I don’t want to admit it, maybe For you, I am just playing a game, but I want to tell you that even if it is just a game, it is not an easy decision for me to make up my mind to enter. Maybe you think that I have enough money You can play this game, but what I want to tell you is that if you lose this game, then you are not the only loser, I am also the loser, and I can't afford to lose either. For a game of love, what I pay is not only It's just money, I won't choose to bleed my heart and bruise my love just to play a game, I will also feel the pain."

Looking at Xu Youran's teary eyes, Chu Suifeng couldn't say anything to refute for a moment, yes, how can it be just money for a game of love, money may not be worth mentioning to Xu Youran , but what about feelings?If she chose herself as her first love, then how could this love affair be only one-sided?

Chu Suifeng chose to remain silent, she didn't know how to respond to Xu Youran's feelings, and at the same time felt confused about her own heart.

Do you really have no feelings for Xu Youran at all?

She thought of those days when she hugged Xu Youran to sleep, Xu Youran slept soundly, so why not, Xu Youran felt flustered and couldn't understand her own heart, wasn't she the same?Her panic, her throbbing, her avoidance, if she didn't have any thoughts about Xu Youran, then she couldn't even deceive her own heart.

But Chu Suifeng knew very well that she was not good enough for Xu Youran.

Identity, status, money, maybe all of these are not important, but Chu Suifeng cannot surpass all of these in his life.Chu Suifeng didn't know what he could help Xu Youran, and he didn't know how long Xu Youran's love could last. What's more, coming to Xu Youran's side was a deal between himself and Lin Keren. trade.

The encounter between himself and Xu Youran was too impure, Chu Suifeng worried that after everything was exposed, would Xu Youran still be able to accept him.

Chu Suifeng has low self-esteem, very low self-esteem, everything about her is invisible to the light, Xu Youran is the light in the darkness to her, makes her yearn for, makes her obsessed, but a person who lives in the dark, once too close to the light , will be burned by this light, but what is even more frightening is the disappearance of this light.

Xu Youran was not in a hurry to ask Chu Suifeng to give her an answer. She was very entangled, and at the same time she knew very well that Chu Suifeng was as entangled as herself. The only thing is to persevere, not to give up, and to wait for Chu Suifeng to accept himself sincerely.