your taste [OAO]

After Du Yiting left, Lin Nan gradually felt that the night was really cold.

He zipped up his coat, and stuffed the hand that he had just held with Du Yiting into his coat pocket.

After walking three meters, Du Yiting looked back at Lin Nan.Go back quickly.Before Lin Nan could react, he turned his head away again.

After walking 15 meters, Du Yiting turned around and saw that Lin Nan was still there, and waved his hand to tell him to go back quickly.Lin Nan didn't know why, so he waved to him.

After walking 50 meters, Du Yiting turned around and saw Lin Nan was there, and waved his hand again, signaling to go upstairs quickly.Lin Nan came to his senses, pretended to be stupid and continued to wave his hands.

Du Yiting stood at the intersection where he was about to turn, saw Lin Nan still standing downstairs in the dormitory, and picked up his mobile phone to find Lin Nan.

"Huh?" Lin Nan picked up Du Yiting's voice call in a daze, and didn't expect why someone would make a phone call not far in front of him.

"Why haven't you gone up yet?" Du Yiting stopped at the intersection and didn't leave.

"Watch you for a while, I'll go up after you turn the corner." Lin Nan almost thought that Du Yiting would also be reluctant to part with him.

"I'm going to turn a corner now, go up quickly." Du Yiting raised his hand to Lin Nan.

"Yeah." Lin Nan replied, a little sad.

"I'm leaving, hurry back." Du Yiting turned the corner.

After two or three seconds, Du Yiting didn't hear the other party's words, he hesitated for a while and said, "Then I'll hang up."

"En." Lin Nan tried his best to respond lively.

"Goodbye." Du Yiting said.

Lin Nan replied softly: "Goodbye." But thinking that maybe we will never see each other again.

The figure of the other party had disappeared in front of Lin Nan, and it took a while after the call was hung up before Lin Nan turned and walked towards the dormitory.

They went in two different directions, the same as Lin Nan thought their future life path would be.

In fact, Lin Nan didn't deliberately consider whether he and Du Yiting were suitable to be partners. He was just afraid, afraid of love but not getting it, afraid of getting and losing, and cringed and wanted to escape when facing the establishment of an intimate relationship.

Subconsciously, he doesn't believe in himself, or that he and the other party can achieve a positive result.

After walking a few steps, Lin Nan has realized how sad his unilateral parting has made him.

At the same time, he also unilaterally felt that Du Yiting only had a playful attitude towards him, and he didn't see his deep affection.

Lin Nan was unwilling to hold the other party hostage with his worries about gain and loss, forcing the other party to do more for him, and showing a more sincere and down-to-earth attitude of pursuit made him feel that he was valued by the other party.

He walked forward as calmly as possible, tears slipped from his eyes, Lin Nan didn't feel it, and only touched the tears with his hand when he felt some itching on his cheeks.

What are you crying for? What is there to cry about?

Lin Nan said softly to himself, trying his best to stop crying, but the tears stopped for a moment but then fell more violently, he wiped the wet hands from his hands, and then wiped the liquid on his pants.

He didn't go back to the dormitory, he walked to the already pitch-black sidewalk opposite the dormitory, sat on the stainless steel bench, the coldness of the metal seeped into his body.

Of course, Lin Nan hopes that he will be a brave, firm, and perfect person. He has been working hard to become such a person, but he also knows that he is not.He's soft-hearted, hesitant, withdrawn, and has all sorts of flaws and quirks.After so many years of gaps, he has struggled to figure out that even a saint cannot be flawless for a lifetime, so why bother to torture himself with strict requirements every day.

His new expectation is that he can still move forward in the midst of wandering.

How easy it is to escape.

Lin Nan could give up the classmates he liked before, now he can give up Du Yiting who confessed to him, and he can also reject other people in the future. He has long been mentally prepared to be single for the rest of his life.

But Lin Nan suddenly felt a new kind of sadness, why?

After finally stopping the tears, Lin Nan called Du Yiting back because of the unwillingness in his heart.

"What's the matter?" Du Yiting answered quickly, with doubts in his deep voice.

Lin Nan forced himself to smile, trying to speak out in a calm and relaxed tone, but in the end he could only say softly: "I don't want to part with you."

The other end of the phone was dumbfounded for several seconds before Du Yiting said, "It's okay, we will meet again in the future."

Lin Nan's soft tone gave Du Yiting a bad feeling. He tried to comfort him with a relaxed tone but it had the opposite effect.

Lin Nan didn't speak, because just now when Du Yiting said it was okay, tears flowed out again.

"Have you arrived at the dormitory?" Du Yiting asked softly again.

"Yeah." Lin Nan couldn't pretend to be cheerful anymore, so he could only restrain his voice from choking, "It's okay, bye."

Du Yiting seemed to want to say something, but Lin Nan hung up the phone first, letting tears flow down his face.

Lin Nan was very stubborn when he was a child. He refused to admit his mistake when Fang Juan used a clothes hanger to draw him all over his body. He was unwilling to cry when encountering difficulties and setbacks. The look of tears.

Later, Lin Nan changed, and restrained himself too tightly. He wished that he could cry whenever he wanted, but he couldn't.

So now in an environment without anyone, he just wanted to cry, and he didn't want to suppress his mood at all.

Just control the crying and don't disturb the people.

Why?

Why is it that you are the only one who is reluctant every time?

Why do you feel that he is the only one who is sad?

The matter of Du Yiting was the root cause, which ignited other grievances Lin Nan had suffered in interpersonal communication.

The mother who grew up with him.

When Lin Nan was very young, he didn't know what was going on at his grandmother's house. He didn't sleep at night and kept asking his mother if he loved him. His mother beat him and broke two hangers in anger.

Lin Nan cried and asked, and asked when he got the answer, and continued to ask when he couldn't get the answer.

Later, Lin Nan would no longer ask his mother if he loved him. Maybe she loved him, but she didn't know how to express it.

A friend from the same village who played well in childhood.

When they were young, they ran wildly all over the streets together, ran up and down the sand piles together, learned wrestling from TV players at home together, and bought fish fry to raise goldfish and guppies together.

Lin Nan had just learned to ride a bicycle, and he was the first person he picked up.

Later, because both of them moved, they gradually lost contact with each other.

A classmate who became acquainted only in junior high school.

After a period of intense dating, the other party alienated him inexplicably.

Lin Nan tried to redeem him by buying him a gift, in exchange for a vow to break up the relationship.

After many years, the other party made a sudden contact and said that it was because Lin Nan felt inferior because of his excellent grades.

But back then the opponent was in the experimental class and Lin Nan was in the key class. The teachers and grades in the experimental class were better than those in the key class, and Lin Nan's grades at that time were only above average.

……

Lin Nan is well aware of the inevitability of loneliness. Everyone is just a passer-by in life, but he still feels very sad.

As if no matter what he did, those friends would become a thing of the past.

He's tried so hard to get better, but nothing seems to have changed.

Lin Nan is not a person who is keen on making friends.When old friends faded away with time, new friends did not follow.

The hurts he has experienced have been staged again and again, as the scars have been deeply burned on his body, and become the alarm bell to remind him, resisting unreliable and unequal feelings.

If every relationship makes people so sad at the end, then Lin Nanning would rather not.

Sometimes I really feel that the world is too unfair.

Why would you dare to confess your love to him within a week of knowing him?

Why can you walk so chicly every time after saying goodbye?

Why can some people be so straightforward about their feelings, but Lin Nan can't take it and let it go, sitting under a tree with no one in the middle of the night and crying?

Why?

Lin Nan knew why, because of his own cowardice.

Tears kept flowing down, Lin Nan analyzed his state, sincerely took all those nihilistic faults on himself, and built a whole wall by blaming himself.

He can't change others, he tries to cultivate an invulnerable heart through self-abuse.

Lin Nan's favor towards Du Yiting started from too high a point. It was at 80 points from the very beginning, but it fluctuated up and down afterwards, and he couldn't fall down.

But Du Yiting's affection for Lin Nan increased step by step, and reached a particularly high level in a certain moment, so he confessed.

Lin Nan has an indescribable attraction to Du Yiting. He likes the way Lin Nan looks at him tenderly, and the wonderful contradictions in him.

His confession was not impulsive, but now it seems that it may be a little troublesome to the other party?

Regret?

Not at all.

Sitting next to Lin Nan that night, Du Yiting's calm heart beat faster without warning. In his brief imagination, his heart was like a drop of water suddenly dropped into hot oil and then evaporated.

After the beating heart calmed down, it did not return to its usual appearance. It seemed to be over the top without drinking much alcohol, as if it was the first time to be encouraged by the audience in the audience. It was a bit strange but joyful.

In Du Yiting's place, it's quite simple to stay together if you like it, and separate if you don't like it.

He knew that the confession would not succeed, but he would not be reconciled if he didn't try.

Du Yiting always had some bad premonitions on the way to the dormitory.

Halfway through the walk, he always felt that Lin Nan's performance tonight was not quite right, so he walked back and saw Lin Nan sitting on the side of the road.

Needless to say, there is only one person on the road, and this person said goodbye to him 10 minutes ago.

Du Yiting saw him sitting upright with his eyes closed on the bench opposite the dormitory, the dim light fell on his face, the slender light flickered slightly, his Adam's apple was heaving, his brows were tightly furrowed, and his lips were twitching. Sip it, it's sad to watch.

The choking sound that came out was very soft, but it didn't stop.

Du Yiting walked over with doubts and bewilderment, he couldn't restrain his movements.The sound of footsteps and whimpers mixed together, but Lin Nan didn't notice it at all.

Lin Nan was probably thinking about something, but Du Yiting didn't understand what kind of thing could make him stay on the road and cry in the middle of the night.

He walked over and messed up Lin Nan's hair, and asked in a soft voice, "Do you want to have breakfast together tomorrow?"