prefer silence

After Yuan Jie left, I just sat on the sofa and let my head go blank.

Snowflakes and colorful polka dots appear alternately, constantly disturbing my thoughts.

Did I make it clear to Yuan Jie just now?How much did he believe?

I groaned in annoyance, thinking over and over of our conversation.

Yuan Jie's tearful eyes and his sentence "My world has collapsed" were played repeatedly in front of my eyes, intertwined to arouse my sense of guilt.

"I, why am I like this?" I said to myself, "He is my brother."

A hand gently caressed my face, "Yuan Yuan?"

When I recovered, Chen Zheng squatted beside me, with worry in his eyes.

"Goes well? How's his reaction?"

I nodded blankly, "It's going well, I told him everything, everything..."

"Then he... accepted?"

"Not yet, but he will accept it. We have evidence, and he can do the appraisal himself. I gave him a week, and he will agree to come back." I shook off the two appraisal reports and convinced myself Convincing Chen Zheng, "This is all done by a very authoritative organization, isn't it convincing enough? He will accept it."

The corners of my mouth raised, and I pulled out a smile, "Brother Zheng, this matter will end soon, and everything will go back to the way it was before."

There was no smile on Chen Zheng's face, he looked into my eyes, and seemed to look into my heart, "Yuan Yuan, what did you tell him?"

I lowered my eyes, took out my phone, and clicked on a recording file, "Listen, I've recorded everything."

Chen Zheng didn't say a word the whole time. After listening, he just stroked my hair and said, "Yuan Yuan, if he disagrees after a week, let me talk to him, okay?"

"He, how could he disagree? Yuan Dahua and his wife are bad people, we are his real relatives." I blinked slowly, "Did I mess it up?"

"You are right, you just have different positions." Chen Zheng sat up and put his arms around me, sticking to my ear, whispering softly, "You are too impatient, you will appear strong when you are impatient. You put yourself in the On the strong side, he will feel uncomfortable being oppressed, and will instinctively resist you and what you say."

"Am I strong? I didn't kill him." My voice gradually weakened, "Well, I shouldn't threaten him with Yuan Dahua and his wife..."

Regarding this point, I regretted a little after I said it just now.

"It's not just here, Yuan Yuan, your starting point is wrong. Your strength is not only reflected in your loud voice, but also in your inner motivation. You first persuaded Yuan Jie to come back out of the protection of your mother and the integrity of the family. , he doesn’t feel that you value his personal existence. He may think, why did you ask him to come home now? Is it just to make others happy? But he himself is not happy.”

"We are strangers to Yuan Dahua and his wife, and we would think that they are out-and-out bad people, but Yuan Jie has been their son for more than 20 years, and has a deep relationship with them. His natural position is to stand on their side. Side. You belittle Yuan Jie's parents, you are belittling him and his growth environment. You pushed him to the opposite of us."

"Yuan Yuan, you called Yuan Jie brother, maybe you want to play the family card, but your attitude towards him has not changed. You are treating him with the attitude you treated Yuan Jie in the past, not the attitude you treated your brother Him. You didn’t give him enough initiative to choose, and the more you push him, the farther he may escape.”

Hearing what Chen Zheng said, I felt that I handled it really badly, maybe since Yuan Jie came in, I didn't do anything right.

For me who already knew all the facts, Yuan Jie is a person who has a blood relationship with his parents, and he was included in my territory by me.But to Yu Yuanjie, I am just an ordinary friend to him.

It happened that my ordinary friend told him a major event that could overturn his life, with an attitude that could not be refused.

Although I feel that what I said is true from the bottom of my heart.

There is also something wrong, the wrong thing is, do I really talk to him as my brother from the bottom of my heart?

I feel pleasantly surprised, fond of him, and ashamed of him. It is a very complicated sense of fate due to karma. It seems that our unpleasant encounter at the beginning was just for the arrival of this day.

And he and I are not real brothers.The information conveyed to me by my reason and cognition is that he is my brother, but the emotional fetters that are melted in the blood and engraved in the bones and need to be cultivated for a long time are loose and loose, and they can be broken with a blow.

In the past so many years, I have not actively thought about finding him. Now it is only because I have encountered a problem that I am eager to find a convenient key to open the predicament.

As Chen Zheng said, my need for him is based on my love for my mother and the maintenance of my family, not my expectations for him.

I looked at Chen Zheng with admiration and helplessness, "Brother Zheng, why do you always understand me better than myself?"

"Is it okay to understand you?" Chen Zheng hugged me tightly.

"I only hope you understand my good, not my bad."

The truth is, many years before Chen Zheng understood my goodness, he had seen through my badness—a kind of badness without knowing it.

"No one in the world can be perfect, and you are not a bad person. This badness will only make you more complete. Besides, I know your shortcomings, so I can help you make up for them."

……

Chen Zheng's guess was right.

A week later, Yuan Jie came to the door in person and told me his choice.

He said: "Yuyuan, even though I know that what you said to me is 90.00% likely to be true, but I can't leave my parents behind. They have paid a lot for my study and life since I was a child. In your eyes, they are guilty, but in my eyes, they work hard, love me very much, and are no worse than other parents. I grew up in the countryside, and I was admitted to a good university with a good degree. I am proud of myself, and I am no worse than other parents. ...children who grew up in the city are poor. You say they are the murderers who caused your pain, and I am really sorry for that, but I... I will not go back to the Li family, both sides are fine now, there is no need to make change, no?"

I yelled at him: "Then do you want to pretend to be foolish for the rest of your life? You don't recognize your parents, but you have to recognize a thief as your father!"

"Yes! I think nurturing grace is better than giving birth!" Yuan Jie seemed to be stimulated, his face flushed, and he yelled at me.

"Is it mom who doesn't want to raise you? They took you away, they are..."

"Yuan Yuan!"

Chen Zheng rushed out and blocked what I was going to say next.We quickly exchanged glances, Chen Zheng wiped the corners of my eyes for me, "Yuan Yuan, you are too impulsive, you obviously don't want to talk like that, don't you? You go back to the bedroom first, I'll talk to Yuan Jie."

I nodded obediently, and began to look forward to Chen Zheng's performance.

This is what Chen Zheng and I agreed in advance, one will sing the red face and the other will sing the bad face, so naturally I will be the one who sings the bad face.

It's just that what I just said is actually all from my heart.I can't understand why after a week of thinking, Yuan Jie is still so attached to Yuan Dahua and his wife?They deprived him of a rich and favorable growing environment, and added an uncle who had been in prison to his social relationship. Why did he stick to the bad guys?

And Yuan Jie obviously can't understand me, can't understand my impatience, my urgency.

Since we can't understand each other, let Chen Zheng be a reasonable guest for a while.

I paced barefoot on the floor anxiously, trying to relieve the heat all over my body.

Miscalculation, I shouldn't have asked Chen Zheng to record it, I should have directly asked him to broadcast live via voice call.

It's been over an hour, what did they say?How is it going?Is it a success or a failure?

My chest was getting tighter and tighter, and I threw myself into the quilt and rolled around.

When I was upset and irritable, I heard a click and looked up, it was Chen Zheng who had entered.

"how is it going?"

Chen Zheng smiled, "He didn't promise that he would definitely go home, but he agreed to the proposal to have a meal with everyone."