God is Daozu

Gao Xu is back.

Gao Lan heard the military boots walking towards the door of his bedroom in the early morning, with a heavy voice like a threat, and then the owner of the military boots went downstairs without a word. Gao Lan was so shocked that he washed and dressed quickly, and then rushed downstairs. Standing straight with his hands behind his back, the corner of his mouth tightened and he stared over as if inspecting, Gao Lan felt that he was so oppressed that he couldn't breathe.

Gao Xu's return caught him off guard, and Gao Lan didn't even dare to say hello to his brother. When Gao Xu showed this expression, it was a wake-up call. It's okay to have a moderate hippie smile on weekdays, but not when he needs to be serious.

Gao Xu only showed this expression at three times, namely when Gao Lan started school, when Gao Lan was at the end of the semester, and when Gao Xu was going to perform a task.

Gao Lan's mind flashed through his grades this semester. He was never a bad student, but standing in front of Gao Xu, it seemed that no matter how good he was, he was bad. To him, the eldest brother was more like a strict and demanding student. Father.

Gao Xu's eyes were more than just scrutiny, but also a kind of torture and dissection. Gao Lan felt that it was difficult to even raise his head and chest under Gao Xu's eyes, and finally Gao Xu gave orders.

"go."

Gao Xu's thin eyelids narrowed a bit, and his eyes became more oppressive.

"Run to the training ground."

It's over.Gao Lan thought with fear and resistance, then answered "Yes" loudly and immediately set off for the training ground.

When Gao Lan ran to him, Gao Xu followed him easily.

Gao Xu raised his chin lightly, and Gao Lan immediately started the first set of physical training.The moment he crossed the obstacle and landed, Gao Xu could be seen staring at him with a sullen face as soon as he looked up.

Gao Lan thought that this morning would be over soon. The elder brother was busier than his parents. It was impossible to spare hours to train him. Since Gao Lan went to middle school, he rarely saw Gao Xu. On the outside, there are only praises about Gao Xu outside, Gao Xu seems to have lived in Gao Lan's morning news a long time ago, even if Gao Xu goes home occasionally, he is dealing with official documents.

He spends very little time with his eldest brother freely. Gao Xu is a high admonishment monument to him. At the moment, Gao Xu only reprimanded him a few words, but Gao Xu is too busy, Gao Lan can often escape, he hoped that Gao Xu would go home but was afraid that he would go home.

When he was young, he was very resistant to Gao Xu's return home. After growing up, this ambivalence became better, but today he started to be afraid again.

However, it is undeniable that he is his elder brother and one of his favorite family members. He loves Gao Xu as always in the midst of conflicts. The elder brother is the pride of the whole family and the United District.

People like Eldest Brother seem to be born to carry on the past, to shoulder the blood of their ancestors, to become an instrument of the country. He only looks up to people like Eldest Brother, and he humbly reminds himself in his heart that he is Gao Xu’s younger brother , Even if you can't stand shoulder to shoulder with Gao Xu, you must not lose Gao Xu's face outside. He is Gao Xu's younger brother, a child of the Gao family, and he must be what "Gao Lan" should be.

Gao Lan propped himself up and fell into the fine sand. His face was covered with sweat in the cold wind. When he propped himself up, he saw Gao Xu was just a few steps away from him. Gao Xu held his hands behind his back against the light. The sun was rising slowly, but Gao Xu stood in front of the sun as if he was standing in a dark place. At the moment when he seemed to be placed in the eternal night, Gao Lan felt scared. He looked into Gao Xu's deep eyes, not knowing what was going on inside. Not all disappointed.

A person like Eldest Brother seems to be born brave and fearless. He was born to be a hero. He was born with blood and death. In the distant past, Gao Lan was holding a game helmet in his hand. Heroic, he raised the flag of the joint zone and flew high. Gao Lan just didn't understand why his elder brother was a hero, but he was greedy for life and afraid of death?

He was afraid of war, and Takao faced it head on.

He will never forget that Gao Xu applied for a very dangerous mission when he was studying. He thought that when he became a sentinel or a guide, he would become as brave as Gao Xu.

But he didn't.

As if I was born to be a coward.

Why would someone like me be a child of this family?Why Gao Xu's younger brother?

Why am I so shamefully greedy for life and afraid of death?

This is the question that the High Fair has asked itself thousands of times.

"stand up!"

As the sun rose, Gao Xu yelled at him. Gao Lan knew that Gao Xu was angry, so he supported himself and ate a mouthful of sand in embarrassment. He was so tired that he trembled and felt a little dizzy, but Gao Xu was angry!Gao Xu is angry!He hustles himself and lets himself fall into the sand again, and he thinks about the past again, and he's motionless in grief.

"Why can't you get up?"

"Report, no breakfast."

"why do not you eat?"

"Report, fell asleep."

"Do you know who you are! Gao Lan!"

"I'm a child of the Gao family, a sentinel in the Joint District."

Gao Lan raised his head tremblingly to look at Gao Xu's face, he saw Gao Xu's disappointed eyes, he was sour and wronged at that moment like an underage child.

"You are the child of your parents, your sister's brother, and your friend's friend."

Gao Lan didn't understand why Gao Xu answered him like this. According to his concept, his answer just now should be the standard answer, but why Gao Xu was so disappointed. Gao Xu seemed to be looking at a child who would never grow up. It hurt Gao Lan.

This was the first time in Gao Lan's life that he cried in front of Gao Xu. He had never dared to cry in front of Gao Xu before, that was too weak.

"You don't seem to be satisfied with anything I do."

"I want to please you too."

"I'm not a self-disciplined person like you, but I'm really not a depraved person, let alone a lazy person like you imagine."

"I really rarely get up after 06:30, I'm really rare, why do you meet when I don't do well when you go home, when I was a child, when I did well in the exam If you are not here, occasionally you will go home if you fail the exam.”

"I really want to be your younger brother who can be recognized by you."

"Why can't I do this?"

"I know you won't approve of a younger brother who is socially comfortable. I know you hope that I will be different from my peers. You will hope that I will have responsibility and responsibility. You hope that I will be like Daniel. A family of heroes should not be born. I'm such a coward."

"I know! I know!"

Gao Lan cried and asked Gao Xu

"I've really worked hard to be your younger brother! But why can't I ever satisfy you at all?"

"It's really hard to be like you, but I really..."

"I'm really trying to be someone like you..."

"I'm really sorry I would be such a coward!"

Gao Lan heard the sound of Gao Xu approaching, Gao Xu squatted down towards him, the cold wind seemed to condense on Gao Xu's military jacket, Gao Xu was also cold, but the cold made people feel safe, the first time in Gao Lan's life This is the first time I heard Gao Xu whispering to him like this

"You have to understand that you are the child of your parents, the brother of your sister, and the friend of your friend. You will be 19 years old this year Gao Lan. You have to understand that your adulthood is not defined by age during the war years."

After finishing speaking, Gao Xu hugged him in Gao Lan's surprised eyes, and he patted Gao Lan's head with his generous hands, then stood up and walked towards the rising sun.

Gao Lan sat in the sand and watched Gao Xu go away step by step. He remembered a long time ago when he complained that his elder brother was too strict, his mother smiled and told him, 'son, do you know?When you were very young, your brother hugged you while doing homework', Gao Lan has always half-truly believed what his mother said.

How could Gao Xu hug me?

but

It would be nice if it was true.

Maybe my mother didn't lie to me, Gao Lan thought as he watched Gao Xu go away.

When Gao Lan recovered a little bit of strength, he ran to Gao Xu's residence without even patting the sand on his body, and then heard the gardener's servant telling him from afar that the husband had left.

Gao Lan looked at Gao Xuyuan's residence, and he didn't understand why he was so sad this time.

He regretted that he didn't reach out to hug Gao Xu.

Gao Xu's residence was locked, quietly looking back at Gao Lan in the cold windy daylight.

Like a mountain.

It's time for evening training

No, we should eat first

and then……

Then you should train

it's time to eat

Qiang Ju thought about these things in his mind and then closed the textbook. Standing in the small dormitory, he suddenly felt that the cafeteria was an inaccessible place. He looked at the faint blue light on the cards in the textbook, and then Slowly finding a piece of bread, he took a bite of the bread and drank a gulp of water, as if his esophagus had stopped working, and he was trying to get the food down, retching every mouthful he took.

But food must be eaten.

He just thought about it and swallowed hard. When the bread was half eaten, he looked down and found that the bread was broken. He easily spat out the expired bread. He stared blankly at the trash can, even himself I don't understand why I am so useless.

I have to go to the cafeteria.

He put on his shoes and took two steps, the shoelaces gave up silently and scattered before his eyes.

He looked at the shoelaces for a long time and finally squatted down slowly and started to tie his shoelaces. A strange thing happened again, he couldn't tie his shoelaces at all.

How could this be?

He asked himself blankly in his mind, then he tied it again and stood up, just as he took a step, the shoelaces came loose again, Qiang Ju looked at this small place, Liu Rong's book was quietly pressed on those At the bottom of the paper book, he took a deep breath as if he was begging someone for mercy, and he staggered towards the closet with a pitiful expression. There were only a few simple clothes hanging in the closet.

He looked at the laces and thought he could never tie them again, I can't do this, he told himself, he understood.

The orange light outside the window looked at him, he didn't understand what he was doing?

He flipped through everything around him in a panic, his clothes were in a mess on the ground, and his desk was all messed up. He didn't know what book to read or what to study today. His confused mind even forgot what day of the week it was. He looked down at the laces crumbling.

He cried and cried, and he couldn't understand what he was crying, he couldn't restrain himself from crying so desperately, he slapped himself and hoped that he could wake up a little bit.

He knew that he shouldn't be squatting on the ground in such a state of embarrassment. He grabbed the wardrobe and hoped that he could stand up. He seemed paralyzed and couldn't stand up no matter how hard he tried.

I was normal yesterday, and I was normal the day before yesterday, why did I become like this today?

He grabbed everything he could get his hands on, and finally he and the chair hit the ground hard.

His eyes collided with the lights on the ceiling, and a false light enveloped him, and he burst out laughing unexpectedly.