God is Daozu

The days seem to continue to move forward peacefully.

Gao Lan remembered that when he came back on Monday morning, he opened the door and found that Qiang Ju had already returned to school. He felt a little unusual, but he didn't know what was unusual. Qiang Ju was wearing his shoes quietly, and he looked just thinner. a little.

After studying and training day after day, Qiang Ju remained silent as usual. Gao Lan remembered that Qiang Ju often cried after Liu Rong's death, but now Qiang Ju seems to hide this sadness in his quietness.

Today is sunny, Gao Lan looks out the window.

Qiang Ju stood in the sunlight with his face upturned, his outline became ethereal.

"Are you staying in school this week?"

Qiang Ju nodded to him.

"Want to go to my house?"

Qiang Ju shook his head at him, "Go ahead, I want to read at school."

"You stop stuttering when you speak," Gao Lan smiled and reached out to touch Qiang Ju's head, "everything is getting better..."

Gao Lan was silent when he remembered the photo.

"Then I'll go first."

Qiang Ju nodded and opened the book, leaving Gao Lan with a silent back.

Qiangju stopped crying, eating became normal, class was never in a trance, everything was back on track but Gao Lan was a little uneasy, he knew he couldn't tell Qiangju about the photos right now, he couldn't Give him another blow when Qiang Ju is gradually recovering, but is Qiang Ju really recovering?

Gao Lan sat at the desk and opened the photo. The woman in the red shirt smiled at Gao Lan. He looked at the woman's red shirt and thought of Qiangju's robe. Robe, Qiangju always said nothing at this time, only when his fingers brushed the robe gently, Gao Lan felt that his fingers replaced all his voices, and the wordless love and waiting were in his hands fingertips.

Gao Lan finally understood what was wrong. He remembered that when Qiang Ju opened the closet, there was only a black suitcase in it besides a few clothes, and the robe was gone. Gao Lan knew that Qiang Ju would not be separated from that robe, Qiang Tachibana would always look at the robe before going to bed, it was like a signal from his parents.

Gao Lan immediately went downstairs to ask the driver to prepare the car. When he got into the car, he realized that he was holding the photo tightly in his hand. He froze for a moment and put the photo in his pocket.

The moment he pushed open the door of the dormitory, Qiang Ju sat on the ground and looked at him dully.

It turned out that he was not cured.

"Are you ok?"

Qiang Ju smiled, and the next moment Qiang Ju stopped smiling and seemed to remember something, and suddenly Qiang Ju cried out, Gao Lan had never seen Qiang Ju in such pain.

"Before he died, he couldn't even make a crying expression. I once told him that I liked the way he laughed. I didn't know what it meant to him. He was always laughing when he was dying..."

Qiang Ju grabbed his hand, "Do you know who Jiang Ping is? He is one of those three children. You already know who the terrorist is, don't you know who I am?"

"I never thought that such a life was waiting for me. I didn't know that I would be Ji Qiang and now I have to accept all the lives behind these two words."

"Do you know how my brother died?"

"Do you know why my home is like this?"

"What wrong did we do to suffer such retribution!"

"Qiang orange..."

"And now Lu Chan and Yu Qiping are still alive and well in this world! They are still alive!"

Gao Lan was taken aback, he understood why Qiang Ju had to stay in school, Qiang Ju might have separated from Daniel.

"Do you know how much I want to kill them every night, I want to kill them! Kill them! I don't have any power, I can't do anything now, I can't stand that they are still alive in this world! I want to kill them at night! I can't sleep because I hate it, I just think that they are still alive and my brother died in the rain, I can't sleep because of hatred!"

"I told myself I can't be so useless, I have to learn to be calm, I have to be strong enough to kill them, but I feel like I'm going to be ruined by this feeling of hatred, all I can think about is the desire to kill them, I'm about to be destroyed, I can't be strong, I want to fall, but I can't even learn to fall, I want to self-mutilate, I want to shoot myself, all my guesses make me more scared."

"Are my parents still alive? Do they still exist in this world? What did Lu Chan and Yu Qiping do to them?"

"I think of the day when a classmate's mother was a survivor at school. I tried so hard to run to see that scene, but Gao Lan, I never even dreamed that I was reunited with them."

"Why are they still alive after doing such dirty things! I can't save my brother or even accompany him to the last moment! He keeps letting me go, I put him on the ground where there is rain, I want to leave the umbrella for He, he said no, he said I would be found, he let me go, I put him dying in the rain!"

"Gao Lan died in the rain!"

"I left him, I left him in Gaolan."

"I don't even know his name. At night, I just think of him lying alone in the rain and I can't fall asleep at the last moment. He said 'Ji Qiang, be strong'. I am trying to be strong. I The thought that I don't even know his name makes me hate it so much!"

"Gao Lan, do you know that in the past days, he would stand on the hillside and wait for me with cookies wrapped in a handkerchief. As soon as I closed my eyes, he would stand on the hillside and wait for me."

"How did he feel when I told him I liked Daniel?"

"Gao Lan, he said he was reluctant to deprive me, what kind of mood did he feel at that time..."

"I can't let them die miserably, I have to make them pay the price, but I only think that I may have no family in this world, I'm about to lose the will to live."

"No, maybe there is still a family member," Qiang Ju smiled miserably, "There is still a murderous weapon of war left, and this is what the world does."

"What if I can't make them pay the price? What if they still live with peace of mind? I really want to kill them, why are they still alive?!"

Gao Lan listened to Qiang Ju's screams, there were deep tooth marks on his wrist, Gao Lan understood how Qiang Ju spent every night, and he spoke to Qiang Ju

"Here's a picture of your parents."

Gao Lan said to Qiang Ju, and then broke away Qiang Ju's hand that was pulling her hair. Qiang Ju hesitated to take the photo with tears all over his face.

"Whether you are Ji Qiang or Qiang Ju, you have to live well."

The blurry dream seemed to be wiped clean of mist. In the photo, his mother smiled brightly, and his father was like a cloud. Jiang Ping’s smile suddenly overlapped with the man’s. Qiang Ju finally knew why he liked Jiang Ping so much. smile.

He smiles just like Dad.

Qiang Ju lost her voice and grabbed the photo tightly.

He left without saying goodbye.

Daniel stood on the balcony and looked down. He remembered that Qiangju walked away without saying a word, carrying his suitcase and never looking back. He got into the car and quickly disappeared in front of Daniel's eyes. , when they met far away on campus, Qiang Ju didn't look at him, they seemed to be living as people in two worlds not too close or far away.

He remembered that he stood on the balcony that day just like this moment, he watched him go away, all he could give him was silence and watching.

At this moment, Daniel looked at this familiar yard again. There were clusters of flowers blooming under the sun, a white table was in the garden, and two empty chairs faced each other. Qiangju sat there a long time ago, and his coat was wrapped with golden ginkgo leaves. .

In a trance, it seemed that he had returned to autumn. The yard was covered with sunflowers. He was standing on the balcony looking at the returning Qiangju, and Qiangju raised his head and smiled at him.

will you always remember me

Both the sadness at that time and the sadness at this moment hit Daniel. He looked away in a panic and looked indoors. There were still paintings of Qiangtang on the wall, and his clothes were still in the closet. The ginkgo was framed by glass. His There are still his pillows on the bed, there are too many memories about him here, he walked downstairs in a daze, the cold white long table disappeared, replaced by a cherry wood dining table, it quietly stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, There are pink and white flowers in the vase.

This place has changed in seven months, and it was only when he left Daniel that he felt it more clearly, it became so warm here, but he left.

He was walking in this familiar place, as if everything had changed because of him, and finally he stood in front of a glass, he saw that the familiar self had changed because of him, he turned and walked back to the training room, When he pressed the switch, the wall was covered with images of Qiangju before he left. In the world full of Qiangju's images, he only saw his own fear and panic.

Daniel fled towards Lu Ye's once small attic. When he grew up, except for the anniversary of Lu Ye's death, Daniel rarely walked into this room again, and he felt that the moment he ran to the attic, he became a panicked child.

The attic opened up—

The red robe was quietly placed near the window, which was Lu Ye's favorite place during his lifetime.

I don't know what I will do without you and my robe, and I am more worried about what you will do.

What Qiang Ju once said rang in Daniel's mind.

"Mommy mommy!"

Daniel suddenly hugged his robe tightly and knelt on the ground, sticking his face to the place where Lu Ye was sitting, just like he was leaning on Lu Ye's knee many years ago.

"Mother……"

At that time, Daniel could not become a mature and powerful person. He could put his face on Lu Ye's knee and whisper his unhappiness and sadness, and Lu Ye would put his hands on his head and listen patiently to his narration. And when Lu Ye was buried in the cold ground, Daniel never had such a chance again, and now the place where his face rested was as cold as Lu Ye's tombstone, and his arms were also cold, no one would be there Give him another hug in this oppressive attic.

"Mom, I lost him."