God is Daozu

"You're not in a good mood today."

Liu Rong buried his face in the bed, he heard Lu Chan light a cigarette and then walked away, the sound of ice cubes falling into the glass made Liu Rong couldn't help pretending to be ice cubes, and poured the wine into the glass There was a hissing sound, and he suddenly felt that his neck, which had been strangled so hard, was so dry that it was about to smoke.

"You want to be my lover, you don't want to stay at the base, do you Liu Rong?"

Lu Chan's voice is very gentle. If you don't understand the essence and just look at the appearance, Lu Chan does look like a gentle lover. Liu Rong feels that he should cover up for himself. He feels that Lu Chan is already upset, but he lies down. It was like a dead fish there, silently, and a strange emotion was about to break through him, making him want to vent his anger and smash himself to pieces.

"Unfortunately, I can't value you as my lover, you are such an excellent child," Lu Chan said hypocritically, then he seemed to remember something, and smiled, "My former lover, both Not only my lover, but also my helper, and a great top student just like you."

"Is that Zhou's name?" Liu Rong asked abruptly.

Lu Chan's wine glass stopped for a moment, "I thought you would guess Yu Ran, and some people still think that this woman left the institute because of a special relationship with me." Lu Chan shook his head. In satirizing the absurdity of public opinion.

"Because I resemble Zhou Ming."

"I know you were looking at me when I was dancing. Someone said I looked like Zhou Ming when I was in high school." Liu Rong buried her face in the bed sheet and smiled weirdly, "I thought you liked Zhou Ming."

"I do like Zhou Ming."

Lu Chan came over and sat by the bed, stretched out his hands to stroke Liu Rong's hair and back, and the contemptuous feeling spread to Liu Rong's body.

"You are indeed a bit like him. Like him, you are very smart people. Of course, you are also very proud. Zhou Ming was like you when he was young. You don't allow others to offend him. You are sensitive and extremely proud. "

"What was he like when he was not young?"

Lu Chan smiled and pressed Liu Rong's back neck with his thumb, "He died too early, he was always young."

"I mean him later."

"Later, later, he was no longer arrogant. He didn't care about anything, but he was still a great genius."

"Do you like him very much? I mean really like him."

"He is one of the few people I have ever liked, but baby, liking cannot bring food and clothing."

"You don't have to worry about food and clothing."

"Are you worried about food and clothing?" Lu Chan put down his glass and patted the back of Liu Rong's head, "You lack dignity."

"Are you missing it too?"

Lu Chan didn't answer this question. Liu Rong knew that enough was enough, but he opened his mouth as if he was going all out.

"I don't think you lack dignity. Zhou Ming likes you. He is a great genius. Such a person puts down his dignity and likes you. Don't you still lack dignity?" Liu Rong propped herself up and looked at Lu Chan, "I think you There is no lack of dignity, but it is a pity that the person who respected you the most in this world has died."

"You look more and more like the late Zhou Ming."

Lu Chan's smoke was extinguished on Liu Rong's bare shoulders, Liu Rong looked at Lu Chan without moving and suddenly smiled

"But I don't look like Zhou Ming."

Liu Rong was walking on the road leading to the school library in a daze, feeling heavy on one foot and light on the other.

There was light rain during the day, and sporadic snow at night. He rarely felt this kind of muddled feeling. The last time he was so muddled was a long time ago in winter. He walked on the dirty streets of the lower district, only knowing that he should Going home, but for a moment I forgot what I was going to do, and the walking dead walked towards that home meaninglessly.

He was thinking almost numbly, whether his roommate would be suspicious, whether he would guess why he disappeared after the confrontation, but went back late at night with his tired body.

He hated living with other people more and more, but what if his roommate found out?That's the truth, isn't it?Liu Rong sniffed her own scent in the cold night, checking over and over again if there was any disgusting smell on her body.

I can't wash it clean.

No matter how many times or how carefully I wash it, I can still feel that horrible nausea.

He felt a self-defeating almost collapsed, he looked up at the sky, it was too high, too far away, he was about to be strangled to death in this endless world, he felt that all his calculations were no match for this world, bamboo The basket was empty, and his Qicun was firmly in the hands of others. He recalled what his sister said, and he smiled, feeling that he was ridiculous to the extreme.

Destroy yourself because you betrayed yourself, and sell yourself because you want to get yourself back.

He stood in the night completely unaware of what he was supposed to do, he just walked into the library numbly, not to study but to escape.

He met Qiangju at a place he was familiar with, and he and Qiangju looked at each other without saying a word. He remembered Qiangju's eyes before executing him. He felt a creepy feeling at that moment. He confronted him, comparing him to his knees, at that moment Liu Rong felt that Qiang Ju knew all his filth, he looked at Qiang Ju palely under all the gunpoints, for a moment he tried to justify something, but was powerless There was no way to justify, he felt that he was dying in those eyes.

"What do you know?"

Liu Rong whispered mockingly in this deserted area.

"It's so strange, you are clearly a victim of a disaster, but you don't seem to have seen a disaster in your eyes."

"I know about your relationship with Lu Chan."

Qiang Ju spoke calmly, but gave Liu Rong a momentary sense of relief, and the next moment his mood fell to the bottom, because he knew that it was not the most dirty thing.

"So you participated in the extra competition..." Liu Rong laughed, "You want to buy my dignity?" His voice was so sharp.

Qiang Ju's eyes turned red when he heard the sound, and he pursed his lips tightly. Liu Rong realized that he hated the other party's ignorance and fearlessness for a short time, but he also felt sad because the other party was sad. , he felt sadly, maybe his life was not nothing, but he lost all these.

If a person's whole life has to be lost in contempt and then regained with great regret, then he has probably finished his journey.

He remembered a night a long time ago, when Qiangju and him were analyzing a certain battle in the library, Qiangju suddenly said

I have only one brother, and that is Gao Lan.

I have only one friend and that is you.

At this moment, Liu Rong recalled these things and calmly told Qiang Ju

"I don't know what kind of person I am in your eyes, but you don't have to think too high of me, and you don't have to be disappointed for me, let alone want to do anything for me."

"During the confrontation before, everyone always talked about you. What's ridiculous is that they even talked about your mental body as a white snake."

Liu Rong laughed, "Really? What did they say about my spiritual body?"

"It is said that only hypocritical, cunning and vicious people have such a spiritual body."

"Perhaps they are right."

"Have I seen the real you in countless criticisms and slanders?" Qiang Ju asked suddenly.

Qiang Ju looked straight at Liu Rong, and that look made Liu Rong speechless for a moment.

"You are like a slowly rotting apple, the you at the beginning and the you now, which one is you?"

Liu Rong was silent for a moment and wanted to speak, but Qiang Ju interrupted him

"I'm going to believe that you're you at your best."

"But have you ever thought that this is not the first time I have betrayed my body," Liu Rongyang asked Qiang Ju in a high voice, "How much do you think of me? What do I look like in your eyes? Is it noble? ?ha."

"Have you ever thought that perhaps what they said is true, I, Liu Rong, are indeed as hypocritical, cunning and insidious as my spiritual body."

"Do you want to know what you are to me?"

quiet night

Qiang Ju pointed to the budding white plums in the snow outside the window and told him

"To me, you are it."