God is Daozu

is the past.

From the perspective of blessing, Qiang Ju tried to open his eyes in vain in his dream. He seemed to be trying to look at the people in the room through the window. Obviously everything was so clearly visible, but he was looking at the strange past like an outsider. He knows that he is in his own past but has been thrown far away by time.

He saw himself a little older, looking eleven or twelve years old. Compared with the lively and smiling self in the dream the day before yesterday, the eleven or twelve-year-old Qiangju looked more familiar. There is still a kind of innocence on his face, those black eyes are silently looking at the direction of Qiangju, at the age of eleven or twelve, he doesn't like to smile so much anymore, perhaps because of this reason, Qiangju feels that the eleven or twelve-year-old himself He is more familiar, it is hard for him to believe that his past was lively, it is hard to believe that he is so unscrupulous, mischievous and loves to laugh, a kind of expressionless silence has cast the present self, but looking at the slightly familiar Eleven and Twelve At the age of [-], Qiang Ju suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Looking at his direction, Xiao Qiangju suddenly wrinkled her face and retched, her eyes were black mixed with tranquility and pain, Xiao Qiangju took out a handkerchief and wiped her mouth, raised her head and then looked in Qiangju's direction

"I've been even more uncomfortable since you appeared recently."

After finishing talking, Xiao Qiang Ju smiled, without that ostentatious and mischievous feeling, with a very quiet smile, "I know you can't control yourself, don't blame yourself, I hope you often come to accompany me, I turned off the camera , you can move freely."

Just after Xiao Qiangju finished speaking, there was a knocking sound from the window. He opened the curtain and saw a gray bird enthusiastically knocking on the window with its beak. Seeing Xiao Qiangju, the gray bird was even more happy. Behind him is a field of flowers, and Qiang Ju knew that it was planted by his mother.

"here we go again."

Xiao Qiangju's voice couldn't be said to be high or unhappy, just like his face, pale, quiet, with a kind of hesitation, Xiao Qiangju ran downstairs, walked into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of rice, and left Going out, the rice grains were scattered by the little tangerine in the morning light, facing the gray bird, the tangerine watched from afar, watching the gray bird jumping and pecking at the rice grains in the distance, the little tangerine smiled and enjoyed it from afar Seeing this kind of happiness, the gray bird suddenly flew towards Xiao Qiangju, and Xiao Qiangju's expression restrained.

"If you can't understand my words, at least you can feel my emotions," Gray Bird surrounded Xiao Qiangju not far away, "You are a spiritual being."

"I'm not taking you home."

After finishing speaking, Xiao Qiangju returned home. The moment the house closed the door, Qiangju felt a kind of silence through the perspective of blessing. He couldn't tell whether this silence came from the house that was too quiet, or from the past. of myself.

Xiao Qiangju walked into the kitchen again and brought out his own breakfast. He opened the stool and ate silently, his gaze fell on the western sword in the distance

"You know, that's not a fencing sword. It's very sharp. Mom won't let me touch it."

"I can't ride a horse anymore. Look at the corner of the table, wrapped in these soft things. Isn't it ridiculous? This is the way to treat a baby."

Xiao Qiangju took a sip of milk and put down the glass, "I feel like the only sound in the whole house is me drinking milk, do you hear the blue glass?"

Xiao Qiangju looked at Qiangju and smiled, "I have seen the spiritual body of my parents, you will become like that one day and no longer be blue glass, right? If one day you change, don't become an animal, any animal None, I don't want animals."

After finishing speaking, Xiao Qiangju was quiet, the light outside the window illuminated half of the dining table, Xiao Qiangju looked at the food in front of him, as if something was strangling his throat, he opened his mouth several times but didn't eat anything, He seemed to be swallowing the air, and finally Xiao Qiangju left the dining table and walked underground through the wine cabinet. The door recognized his eyes, and a library with a height of nearly 11 meters appeared in front of Qiangju. On the spiral staircase, he randomly took out a book, then went down the stairs and sat on the brown leather sofa.

Qiang Ju looked at Xiao Qiang Ju who was seriously reading the book, time flowed quietly, suddenly Xiao Qiang Ju opened the video data on the book, a girl with red hair was singing with her eyes closed, there was a boiling crowd in the audience, Xiao Qiang The surroundings of Ju suddenly became lively, the whole room was full of cheers, Xiao Qiang Ju turned off the video, and everything became even more deserted.

Qiang Ju understands the dazed silence on his face and where the vague sadness comes from. He is like a pet locked in a world, which preserves his innocence and keeps the space between the square inches. The loneliness came into his eyes, and Xiao Qiangju only saw the lonely home, the silent and gorgeous flower fields, and the mountains in the distance.

"Dad is back."

Suddenly, Xiao Qiangju looked at Qiangju, and the perspective of blessing returned to Xiao Qiangju's body. At that moment, Qiangju felt a heart-piercing desire to retch, and her head buzzed like being hit hard. ring.

There was a feeling of pain and emptiness in his chest, he curled up lazily on the sofa, the door opened, Qiang Ju raised his eyes, but his face was still invisible.

On the man's arm is the gray bird in the morning, and the gray bird is chirping at the little tangerine

"It really likes you."

The gray bird flew to Xiao Qiangju and landed beside Xiao Qiangju.

"Don't you like it?" the man asked.

"I like it." Xiao Qiangju replied without any ups and downs.

At noon, men and women accompanied Xiao Qiangju to dinner, Qiangju couldn't control his past self, and at this moment, his happiness was about to collapse. move.

"Xiao Qiang's rebellious period has come." Dad laughed.

"Yes, you can turn off the camera if you want." Mom said helplessly.

Xiao Qiangju didn't speak, but Qiangju enjoyed the atmosphere of a family of three chatting intermittently while eating. After the meal, Mom and Dad were about to go out again. Xiao Qiangju suddenly grabbed the man's hand, "Dad, let the bird go away." okay?"

"If it wants to go it will go, the windows are open."

"But it won't go."

"Because it likes you very much, it is near your window every morning." The man patted Xiao Qiangju's head.

"Take it away."

"Don't you like it?"

"I love it, I can't let it go."

"It really wants to stay by your side. Dad also thinks that you need to hug your new best friend. Think about it again. If you still don't want to keep it at home tonight, I will take it away tomorrow morning."

Xiao Qiangju didn't speak, the man rubbed Xiao Qiangju's head and walked away with the woman, the door closed again, and Xiao Qiangju stood there for a long time.

Gray Bird surrounded the little Qiang Ju happily, and Qiang Ju could feel a strong emotion filling his small body, joyful, depressed, and finally merged into violent suffocation.

"Don't surround me," Xiao Qiangju opened the door, "don't surround me."

"Go out, don't come back, go out, don't come back..."

The six words became a kind of mantra, babbling repeatedly in Xiao Qiangju's mouth, the gray bird finally landed on Xiao Qiangju's body, Qiangju heard himself burst into a sharp cry, and the gray bird flew away in fright , and then everything was out of control, Qiang Ju realized that he was like crazy, he couldn't resist his depression and outburst, he pulled out the Western Sword and hugged it, he put his face on the blade On the ground, he felt that he was bleeding, he remained motionless, and then the door was opened again, the woman screamed at Qiang Ju, the scene became more chaotic, the man tried to make Qiang Ju leave the sword, Qiang Ju heard himself screaming Screaming is more terrifying than women, hysterical madness, he even held the blade, he seemed to lose the sense of pain, and the good-tempered man also seemed to collapse.

"Can't you see I'm hugging my new friend!"

Little Qiangju yelled at the men and women.

"I don't want animals! I don't want animals! Don't you understand! I don't want animals!"

"It's going to die with me, here—"

Qiangju was slapped across the face, and he heard little Qiangju shriek and push away the men and women and rush out of the house. Standing on the edge of the garden fence, he saw blood on his shirt, his palm It's all blood, he pointed to the distant mountain and accused the woman

"Do you hate me so much when I say 'death'?! 11 years! I never left this place! You tell me what's over the mountain! Is it a video! Is it a book! I'm stuck here! This place You can’t get out of this courtyard! Do you think I don’t know! You come to my room every night to look at me! On my birthday, you forced a smile and sat opposite me! In your eyes, I seem to die immediately! You Treat me like a dead person who is about to go to the ground at any time! You look at me so sadly as if I am going to die! I am going to die! I am fed up with the days of surveillance! I am fed up!"

Xiao Qiangju pointed at the man coldly, "She doesn't like me acting smart at all. It is said in the book that guides and sentries will be more capable of learning and perceiving than ordinary people before they reach adulthood, but you hope that I am Ordinary man, why do you teach me so many things, if I don't understand anything, I haven't seen anything, if I haven't seen any images from the outside world, I will accept my present, I will accept being stuck here until I Death! Why did you teach me and let me be tortured, you children who don't like guides and sentries shouldn't have given birth to me! You are guides and sentries, it is difficult for me to become an ordinary person, so why hate me!"

"Kill me! Kill me! What did I do wrong to enjoy this slow death!"

"It's so quiet!"

"Can't you hear the silence!"

he heard himself crying

"It's so quiet! Only me talking! Only me crying! God, it's so quiet!"

"Only my echo! Only my echo here!"

"You killed me!"

Little Qiangju confronted the man and the woman bleeding and crying. The woman suddenly took out a dagger and cut her arm madly. She threw the dagger on the ground and looked at Qiangju while bleeding. They looked at each other in despair with.

he is crying

she is crying too

Qiang Ju sat in the library recalling the dream of last night, the despair in little Qiang Ju crawled out along the dream, covered Qiang Ju, but Qiang Ju didn't feel sad for this depression and despair, he thought of The woman's cry, that's the only thing that pains him.

The chair opposite him was pulled away, and following those beautiful hands, he saw his beloved eyes. Compared with the lamp above his head, Daniel was sitting in front of him like a lamp.

"I checked your training records, and the advice I gave you has been sent to your bracelet."

Qiang Ju felt that Daniel was not showing his expression, he was aware of his emotions, and guessed the expression on his face, Qiang Ju saw Daniel without any resistance, and it didn't make him feel so uncomfortable to dissect himself in front of Daniel. On the contrary, he suddenly changed Be a little calm.

"Are you busy recently? Don't you have time to guide me personally?"

"I don't want my time with you to be teaching you."

"why?"

"I'm tough when I teach."

Qiang Ju smiled, the shadow of the dream was still in his eyes, "I'm not afraid of being harsh."

"I can't bear to be harsh on you."

Daniel looked at Qiangju, and said in a cold tone.

"May I know why you are unhappy?" Daniel's voice was soft, like a whisper.

Qiang Ju put her hand on the table and reached out to Daniel, leaving a distance between the two

"Come closer to me." Qiang Ju said to Daniel.

Daniel got up and walked towards Qiangju, Qiangju almost subconsciously stretched out his hand to meet Daniel, Daniel hugged Qiangju, Qiangju hugged Daniel's neck tightly, and buried his face on Daniel's shoulder.

"I'll take you out for a walk."

"Walk the stairs, please hold me longer." Qiang Ju's voice was muffled.

"it is good."

Daniel walked down step by step, his silent patience gave Qiang Ju a kind of relief, in the silence Qiang Ju spoke slowly

"I dream a little bit about my past, but I can't see what my parents look like."

"I used to be very spoiled...do you know what I mean? Very rebellious, very naughty..."

"But it's also a gentle little Qiangju." Daniel softly pressed Qiangju's ear, interrupting Qiangju's evaluation of his past.

"But I..." Qiang Ju gritted her teeth, holding back her tears, "I'm really bad."

Qiang Ju buried his head on Daniel's shoulder, Daniel knew Qiang Ju was crying, he reached out and patted Qiang Ju's head lightly, the moonlight fell on the two of them.

"I hope to dream that I am happy with my mother, and I hope that I am a good child."

"I don't know the weight of the word death, I blurted it out too easily."

This is the first time Daniel has heard Qiangju cry so thoroughly

"I hurt her, I know I hurt her, I can feel my emotions in the dream, but I can't empathize with him, I hate myself, I hurt her."

"I want to dream that I'm a good kid."

"I hurt her."

Daniel didn't ask about the ins and outs of the dream, he didn't ask Qiangju about the whole process, and he didn't ask Qiangju what he said. He seemed to have completely received Qiangju's sadness, so he hugged Qiangju and stroked Qiangju. Tangerine head.

"I want to apologize to her, I want her to know, I'm sorry, I want her to know, I'm sorry I hurt her, but she can't hear it."

"Mom can hear it."

Daniel kissed Qiangju's eyes

"Because my mother knows what kind of heart the little Qiangju she gave birth to has."