On How To Teach Gravity To Diss A Blackhearted Boss

A good day begins with picking Dazai off the tree.

I cut off the strap around his neck and threw it in the trash can on the lawn in the middle of the courtyard.

Looking at his dazed eyes and flushed head, I finally couldn't restrain myself from showing my emoji talent.

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"Dazai..."

He rubbed his dazed, hypoxic brain and looked exactly my way, even though his eyes were out of focus.

"Miss Aoki is really too much... I was about to see the water of the Santu River."

I turned a deaf ear to this familiar accusation, and continued my persuasion: "Dazai-kun, since you don't remember, let me say it again. Why don't you consider a different way of dying... It's ugly to die by hanging... It's extremely ugly Hey...the eyes will protrude, the tip of the tongue will stick out of the lips, the saliva and snot will flow down the face, and the face may become blue and swollen. There are also—"

Dazai stretched out his paw and made a "stop" gesture to me.At the same time, he opened his innocent cat eyes wide, and it was written all over his face: If you keep talking, I'm going to make trouble.

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I:……

Well, in fact, in my memory, Dazai has so much experience hanging in front of my shop that I feel heart attack reflexively when I see something hanging from a tree.

Since then, I have devoted myself to persuading him to go to Qingchi instead of hanging himself on the southeast branch.

I can give him a [-]-word essay on the beauty of the Tsurumi River.

**

I dragged Dazai up from the ground, and I dragged him to the detective agency.

Although the dormitory and office of the detective agency are very close, I still carefully looked around during the short distance, for fear that a row of black suits would suddenly pop out from a gutter alley and catch us both.

I glanced at the passers-by around me, and carefully confirmed:

"Dazai, has Akutagawa here found you? Is he still arresting you?"

Noticing the qualifiers I subconsciously used, Osamu Dazai glanced at me, then turned his head and glanced at the pedestrians around him uninterestedly: "Ah, he is still looking for me."

"..."

"To confirm, you have defected for almost four years, right?"

"Well, that's right."

I was silent.

It seems that Ako who is not too smart no matter what, Akutagawa-kun...

Suddenly realizing that my subconscious seemed to have clearly admitted something, I took a step abruptly, and then hurriedly covered it up, squinting at Dazai beside me with some guilt.

But he met his thoughtful eyes.

My heart skipped a beat.

A smile curled up on Dazai's lips: "Speaking of which, Miss Aoki has been..."

I hold my breath.

"Have you been watching me very closely since just now? Are you afraid that I will take over my report after I run away?"

I breathed a sigh of relief, and my tightly clenched heart fell down.

"Of course, the man who knows I'm not good at paperwork and always fools me into writing work reports for him is really rubbish!"

I glared at him, with a listless expression of yin and yang.

"Ah, that's how it is." Dazai stretched his waist, and as if nothing had happened, he raised his spirits slightly and quickened his pace.

"It seems that Osamu Dazai in Miss Aoki's world is as smart and hardworking as me."

……

I was caught off guard and froze in place.

Osamu Dazai, you are really...

A nasty guy who will get revenge.

I gave a wry smile and followed silently.

The picture in the dream yesterday afternoon was a bit blurred after waking up at night, but the deep night and leaden gray clouds seemed to be caged in my lungs, heavily suppressing every breath I took.

After I got up, I found a box of seafood porridge and a post-it note left by Yosano Akiko on the table. It told me to go to her to heat it in the microwave before drinking after waking up.

I stuck the sticky note on the desktop and kept it. Looking at the dark sky outside the window, I didn't bother her anymore.

Put the packing box into the space and flow back to three hours ago, it will be a steaming bowl of dinner again.

I thought I would be too disturbed to sleep if disturbed by that strange dream.But to my surprise, after washing up, I limp on the bed like a beaten eggplant, and soon fell into a deep sleep again.

After waking up this morning, I don't remember any more dreams at night.

**

"Miss Aoki, are you okay?"

Naomi looked at me worriedly.

I came back to my senses, looked at her beautiful tear mole, smiled, and shook my head.

"Did you not rest last night? Is there something you're not used to?"

Naomi's attitude is still very serious.

I quickly shook my head again: "The room is quite comfortable, and I am very grateful to Ms. Naomi and Tanizaki-kun for moving me a bed. Ms. Yosano also brought me dinner, otherwise I would wake up in the middle of the night. Eat biscuits."

Naomi laughed: "Mr. Ranpo said that he would move the bed for you. He said that you are not used to sleeping on the floor."

I was a little surprised but thought it was reasonable, so I nodded and said casually: "Luanbu is still very considerate."

Facing Naomi's eyes, I suddenly reacted: "Ah, sorry, I..."

Naomi Qing Lingling smiled: "It's okay, Miss Aoki used to be called that, right? Then how did you call me before?"

Facing her expectant eyes, I couldn't lie: "... Naomi."

"Then call it that from now on! It's very kind!"

The lively and cheerful high school girl seems to never have troubles as long as her brother is by her side, and she will never be angry about other things.

A little girl who is more dazzling than the daisies on my bed.

I returned her a relaxed smile: "Then, Naomi, please call her whatever you want."

"Aoki, come with me to the commissioning site." Luanbu by the window suddenly said with a lollipop in his mouth.

I froze for a moment, and immediately reacted: "Okay!"

I breathed a sigh of relief as I put down the half-written report in my hand.

——Let me write a work report on my commissioned event, Dazai Osamu, your way of pushing work is really amazing.

***

The older children, Edogawa Ranpo, don't know why they can't take the tram.

I clearly remember that in the Conan cartoons I watched when I was a child, the protagonist’s knowledge is so extensive that I think he is a walking encyclopedia of politics, history, geography, chemistry and biology.

He even basically remembers the routes of the subway stations in various cities!

I have no doubt that Conan also knows what stations are broadcasting on different frequencies.

The amazing thing is that this miscellaneous knowledge is really needed to solve the case.Especially things like this kind of distance often involve whether the murderer's alibi is established.

And let's walk around...he can't even ride a tram...

I was shocked by this when I first met him, but I didn't know him well and I was too embarrassed to ask.

Later, when I got familiar with it, there was no need to ask, as I already understood it.

Probably for Ranpo's extraordinary eyesight and brain, the incident scene where others can find ten clues is in his eyes densely covered with one or two hundred clues.

"Distance" may be an indispensable one of the ten clues for ordinary detectives; Luanbu may only need to grab a small part of the huge sea of ​​information in his eyes to solve the case.

There was no need for such things as routes to him.

……

"Someone is staring at us." Ranpo who was sitting on the tram had toffee in his mouth, vaguely reminding me in a trance. "The tallest man on the right with the ring."

I woke up and glanced indifferently at the man who was looking at us unscrupulously because he was wearing sunglasses.

After staring at each other for a while, I withdrew my eyes with a cold face and bored, but a sarcastic smile appeared on my lips.

When I got off the bus at the station, I purposely turned my head and glanced at the man in sunglasses who was hesitating on the spot with a half-smile, and stepped out of the car calmly.

The car door closed behind us, and he really didn't dare to follow.

From the window of the car, I saw the dignified face of him picking up the phone to call someone, and I was amused by these so-called "mafia" who were more cringe than me.

"You are really good at dealing with these annoying little flies." Luanbu was not surprised, "How can you say that your identity as 'Mrs. Central Plains' is also true. This kind of situation has not been uncommon before."

"Ah, it's true... a large part of it is missing now, but it still happens occasionally. After all, Yokohama is a port city with a very mobile population." I recalled like this.

**

The police who received us waited at the scene of the crime for a long time, with cold sweat streaming down their foreheads. Seeing Luanbu and I was like seeing a self-propelled lottery ticket.

The stern reprimand from the superiors and the wayward way of accepting commissions according to his mood are indeed embarrassing for him.

Although Fukuzawa-san had agreed in advance that the detective agency wanted to help the police, but Luanpo couldn't hold back and went to other commissions, so they still had to wait a little longer.

Don't worry about Dazai.Not to mention that this free mackerel doesn't spend most of his working hours on his seat but sticks to the sofa chair as a salted fish, saying that he is just a slob waiting to die, so don't let him do the work.

The live fish Dazai, who swims freely in the river every day, also disappears so frequently that no one can give him any unexpected incidents.

This commission was actually handed over to the detective agency yesterday, and Ranpo should have come yesterday afternoon.In the end, he was cut off by Cheng Yaojin, who came out of nowhere...

I was a little guilty, looked at the bitter and bitter police chief and the young policeman who was full of curiosity and thought he was secretly looking at Luanbu, and decided to be a good megaphone and guide dog today... Bah!It is a wicked navigation real person system.