he doesn't use a knife

Xue Lanling met Duan Yishuang.

They haven't seen each other for some time.

The two knives that night were drawn too decisively, as if drawing out an abyss and a moat, which could not be easily approached.

And so they met again.

In the room full of bamboo fragrance, separated by a tree branch, such a reunion feels like half a lifetime away.

There was a clear wind outside, blowing very lightly.

Xue Lanling sat at the table and poured himself a cup of tea.

None of them wanted to speak first.

It seems that whoever speaks first is the one who crosses the chasm and the loser who walks through the abyss.

But this feeling doesn't make sense.

Xue Lanling is by no means a person who would feel guilty just because he stabbed someone twice.

Duan Yishuang is also not a person who is bound to hold a grudge after being stabbed twice by others.

It can be said that both of them are very generous.

One is generous to himself, and the other is generous to others.

They are full of contradictions.

Xue Lanling took a sip of tea slowly.

He still looks like this, when drinking tea, he must drink very slowly, take a sip, and it will take a while before he is willing to take another sip of tea.

Such silence would make anyone feel restless.

—but they won't.

Because it is sober enough, rational enough, and calm enough.

Self-disruption is the same as surrendering and admitting defeat.

They were silent for too long, until the cup of tea was exhausted, and no one spoke first.

Xue Lan ordered the cup to be put down.

He stood up.

At this moment, Duan Yishuang also looked up at him.

——What do you want to say?

——Why do you say that?

These two brief questions seem so complicated.

— Do you want to talk?

——Don’t you say it?

What else is there to say.

More and more questions linger in my mind.

Duan Yishuang suddenly thought again.lost.

From the moment you want to speak in silence, you have already lost.

Only when one lacks sobriety, reason, and calmness can one lose one's footing at such a critical moment.

He is already the one who surrendered.

Even though he was still silent and speechless.

But to lose is to lose.

The more I want to speak, the more I want to ask myself whether to speak, the more I admit defeat.

Yet he did not speak.

The first person to speak was Xue Lanling.

Xue Lanling asked him, "Does it hurt?"

The same question as that night.

At that time, it was also a decisive knife, the sharp blade cut down, the wound was deep enough to see the bone, and even the sword could not be held firmly.

I just feel unexpected.

But today it is very different.

With the same decisive knife, the sharp blade slashed down, and asked another question like this.

The sword can still be held steady.

The heart is uncontrollable.

He thought, if you lose, you really lose.Those who can't win are destined to lose.

I can't win in my heart, and I can't bear any thought of making a comeback.

Just want to lose.

Just like those corpses on the yellow sand of the desert when I first saw them, they bloomed devoutly and enthusiastically, dedicating their loyalty to others forever.

His poison is about to be cured.

But his heart began to die.

He heard himself answering, his voice still a little hoarse.

"It hurts," he said.

The answer was exactly the same as that night.

Xue Lanling asked him again: "Is it my fault?"

His answer was not like before: "Should I blame you?"

Xue Lanling said: "You can blame me, and there is no reason why you can't blame me."

"But why should I blame you?"

Xue Lanling said: "Because I slashed you twice."

Duan Yishuang said: "I have suffered more serious injuries than this."

"But I could have made these two cuts." Xue Lanling's voice was soft, like the breeze outside the house, "I can let you go, let you go."

Duan Yishuang looked up, her eyelash feathers seemed to be blown by the wind.

He asked: "But you didn't, so I must blame you for not doing it?"

Xue Lanling said: "Kindness is not a good thing."

"But I'm not kind to everyone."

"Duan Yishuang," he heard Xue Lanling ask him, "Are you being too kind to me?"

He was slow to answer.

Xue Lanling sat down on his bamboo couch.

As decisive as the knife is, Xue Lanling's tone is as gentle and soft.

Just like the rustling spring rain when we first met, the stringed dagger behind the jade plate.

Xue Lanling said: "I have stabbed you three times, but you have never been angry with me once. You don't blame me, don't hate me, and don't blame me. This makes me feel that no matter what I do to you, you will accept it." .”

He replied: "Not really."

Xue Lanling said: "But you make me feel so."

"It's just an illusion," he said.

Xue Lanling asked, "Then why don't you blame me?"

The golden glow shining in from the window in the evening sun seems to be a net of heaven and earth.

It's easy to cover people inside, and you can't break free no matter what.

Gradually forget to breathe, let go of calmness, so that you lose your armor and become weak.

The word-by-word questioning was repeated one after another.

Like a pair of invisible hands.

Choking his throat, he couldn't make a sound as he wanted.

Because of the fear of saying the wrong answer, I would rather not say it.

Duan Yishuang didn't know what to say.

In the end, he just said: "I don't want to blame you, and there is no need to blame you."

This is an absolutely unmistakable answer.

Xue Lanling was silent for a while, and then said: "I'm investigating what you said in the Seven Swords Gate, and I already have some clues. After you get rid of the poison, if necessary, we can continue to investigate."

Duan Yishuang said: "You should do what you want to do."

Xue Lanling said, "I'm doing what I want to do."

Duan Yishuang said: "Then you stayed at the Seven Swords Gate not just to investigate the fact that I was hunted down by the killer organization."

Xue Lanling said: "At least I remember to check this matter for you."

Duan Yishuang paused, and he asked: "When the poison is cured, should we part ways?"

Xue Lanling asked back: "Do you think we should part ways?"

"Or—" Xue Lanling leaned closer, letting the golden feathers in her hair hang down, "Are you willing to part ways with me?"

They are already close at hand.

This is a very common distance.

For Duan Yishuang and Xue Lanling, it would be abnormal if they didn't get so close one day.

Xue Lanling's face is enough to catch people's mind.

But Duan Yishuang didn't hide, and asked back: "Why am I not willing?"

Xue Lanling looked at him with lowered eyes.

Quiet, silent, no one answered.

Breathe together.

I don't know who caught up with whose breathing first.

Xue Lanling suddenly smiled.

In fact, he loves to laugh, but every time he smiles, he is not sincere enough, like a fake mask.

It was rare to see him smile so genuinely.

There is a smile on the brow and corner of the eye.

Xue Lanling spoke in a low voice, as if whispering to Duan Yishuang.

"Because I don't want to," he said.

Duan Yishuang was stunned.

Xue Lanling said: "When I think about not seeing you in the future, I feel very unhappy."

He has countless reasons to explain everything.

But he insisted that he would feel unhappy.

The word happiness is so light and heavy, because it is hard to escape joy, anger, sorrow and joy in life.

If one person can control another person's happiness.

—what could that mean?

Regardless of whether what Xue Lanling said was true or not, there were hints and temptations.

It's enough to make people confused.

Because the terminally ill cannot be saved.

Even with a genius doctor like Qin Honghe, he couldn't cure his heart disease.

Duan Yishuang found out for the first time.

How could he lose so embarrassingly.

It seemed that Xue Lanling created every time he was in a mess.

He has seen Duan Yishuang struggle many times.

But they have to sit back and watch this deep sinking.

Duan Yishuang said harshly: "But when I see you, I will feel unhappy."

Xue Lanling did not answer immediately.

He stretched out his hand, grabbed Duan Yishuang's wrist, and pulled that hand in front of him.

His eyes were lowered, making it difficult to see clearly.

Xue Lanling moved.

He drew the knife out of its sheath, and put the short knife in Duan Yishuang's hand.

Xue Lanling said: "Then you can pay back the three knives."

Duan Yishuang asked: "What about after paying it back?"

Xue Lanling raised his head and chuckled, "We parted ways."

He said this very naturally and frankly.

But the hand that holds the wrist is so tight.

When people fly a kite, they are always afraid that the kite will run too far, so they will hold on to the string of the kite tightly.

If you only hope that the kite will fly far enough, you will let go of your hand and let the kite go far, far away.

Until the string is broken, the kite flies into the sky and never comes back.

Duan Yishuang felt like the kite in Xue Lanling's hand.

The string of the kite was pulled tightly.

Knife in hand.

The light of the knife is very bright.

The person who stabbed him three times was sitting in front of him.

There is a saying called a clean cut.

If you want to stab two more times in the world, you will only break it more thoroughly.

But why stab these two knives.

Duan Yishuang couldn't figure it out.

He didn't resent how many times Xue Lanling had stabbed him, nor did he think it was Xue Lanling's debt to him.

He was just sick, very sick.

So that I can't speak, and I no longer know how to speak.

Duan Yishuang said in a hoarse voice: "You don't seem to want to part ways, you want to break up with me."

"You are not happy seeing me," Xue Lanling sighed, "Then I can also break up with you."

Duan Yishuang said: "You just said you were reluctant."

Xue Lanling said: "In life, there must always be something to give. If I want everything, then I will only get nothing in the end. I don't like to force."

Duan Yishuang said: "When you stabbed me three times, there was no genius doctor who could save me."

Xue Lanling looked down at him.

Duan Yishuang said: "So if I stab you three times now, it won't help."

Xue Lanling said: "You still blame me."

Duan Yishuang said, "I didn't blame you."

Xue Lanling said: "I can let Youqin Honghe not save me."

Duan Yishuang paused.

He asked almost aggrieved: "But even if he will save you, how deep can I stab?"

Xue Lanling's impeccable expression suddenly froze.

That moment was extremely short, even shorter than the blink of an eye.

They stared at each other through the wind that was struggling to blow into the house.

The wind is very light and gentle.

The sun was also warm, reflecting on Xue Lanling's chin, and the shadow was on the side of Duan Yishuang's face.

The corners of his eyes were a little red.

It reminded Xue Lanling of the night when they parted last time.

He is in a mess, he has no way to retreat, he is extremely proud but has nowhere to go.

Xue Lanling firmly grasped the wrist in his palm.

It was hot, and the pulse was beating, and everything was so alive.

Duan Yishuang's eyes were full of light.

Like a star shining in the endless darkness.

Xue Lanling felt soft-hearted for the first time.

He said, "Forget it, I owe you."

The author says:

Youqin Honghe: kdlkswlysyhhk

Xue Lanling: Speaking human words.

Youqin Honghe: Momentary heartbeats are just for sex!

Xue Lanling: The color he saw first.

Youqin Honghe: I didn't say that you are excited, what are you checking your seat for?

Xue Lanling: ...