living sacrifice

Hell is real. When I fell into depression because of Wang Xuanhuan, I really felt as if I had been there.On the verge of hell, I called on the Lord, and the Lord answered me.

Like the dementors in Harry Potter, but hell is much scarier than this, there is no joy to speak of, there is only endless pain and regret in me, all the time for everything I do One wrong thing to regret.Thinking that I may live like this for the rest of my life, and I will never get better again, I really lost hope of living, and really wanted to die.

But I don't quite remember now, the Lord redeemed me and cleansed me.I gradually forgot about such a painful experience.

I can understand the feelings of those who suffer from depression. Such pain is not fake. When a person is no longer happy and lives in the shadow of death all day long, except for the Lord who descended to the underworld and resurrected from the dead Jesus, the Lord who conquered death, no one can save him.

Don't tell a depressed person to be happy, a person won't be happy in hell.Repent, ask the One who is willing to forgive, and He will give you far more than you can imagine.

The Lord Jesus not only saved me, but also my uncle.Tell me about my uncle in detail.

My uncle has cancer, terminal stage.

When the news reached my ears that day, I was blindsided.Because my uncle is usually very healthy, he is a farmer in the countryside, and he can fish. He usually doesn’t even go to the hospital, and occasionally he doesn’t wear any bandages when he gets injured. The wound will heal after a while.

I heard that he was in great pain last year when he couldn't poop, but I didn't expect it to be a symptom of cancer.

When there is a disease on the outside of a person, people always think of treating the headache and treating the pain of the head and feet, but they don't realize that the focus of the disease is actually in the innermost part of the human body.By the time I went to the hospital for an examination and found that the cancer was terminal, it was already too late.

My mother told me on the phone: "Your uncle is going to be hospitalized in S City this week."

At that time, the greater pressure in my heart was: my uncle did not believe in the Lord. If he died at this time without believing in the Lord, he would definitely go to hell.As a relative, of course I wanted to preach the gospel to him, but when I thought about what kind of person he was, I felt that it was impossible.

How difficult it is for a person who has been educated in atheism to accept that there is a God!

I myself have come along this road, and I know how many hardships I have gone through.If it wasn’t for God’s grace to show me so many miracles, how could I believe in God?

However, if I think about it carefully, what I said was unbelief, but I knew in my heart that there is a God.Because if I really don’t believe in God from the bottom of my heart, why would I immediately ask God whenever I encounter a sudden disaster?

This was the case in Xinjiang, and it was also the case when the plane was in distress.The same thing happened with Wang Xuanhuan. In fact, even the college entrance examination was like this, but I forgot about it right away after finishing my begging.

Even if I didn't ask God, God took the initiative to protect me.

This is the case when you are almost hit by a light box on the side of the road, and it is also the case when you are almost hit by a glass window while walking downstairs in the unit.

Since I was a child, I really have experienced many disasters, big and small. The king on the throne has always looked after and mercied me, but I often forget him.

Has your uncle ever had such an experience?How do I know?

My uncle is a person who is particularly resistant to God, and he is well-known in my family.

I was particularly impressed. When I was very young, my family had a reunion dinner during Chinese New Year.I don't know what the problem was, but my grandfather said earnestly at the dinner table: "You really have to believe in Jesus, and don't disbelieve."

"Jesus Jesus, I can't do without Jesus every day! I don't believe in Jesus, what's wrong? Can Jesus send me to hell?"

Grandpa blushed and stammered, "Of course Jesus can send you to hell, but he doesn't want you to go to hell. He wants you to repent so that you can rely on him to go to heaven. He loves you very much and cares for you." died."

"I didn't tell him to die! Did I tell him to die? He's the one who sent people to hell, and he's the one who sent people to heaven. The God you believe in is a tyrant, so you can do whatever you want!"

"Don't say such things, even if you don't believe in God, don't say such things."

"I just said what's the matter? Tell your god to come out and strike me with lightning!"

This is my family.When my uncle said this, everyone was laughing at the dining table, only my grandfather was blushing and at a loss.

At that time, I felt that my grandfather was very pitiful, and I also felt that it was very disrespectful for them to treat an elder like this.

But my brother "educated" me again: "Look, don't get too close to grandpa, and you will change like this by then."

Now that I have experienced God's scourging, I know there is a God.Our whole family was wrong, including me. Only my grandfather, who had only been in elementary school for five years, was right. God had mercy on him who was uneducated, but we allowed those highly educated people who thought they were smart to deceive themselves and others.

God is not to be mocked.

I experienced God, came to know God, repented and was saved, but what about my family?What else can I do but pray?

I prayed to the Lord: "Lord, I am so afraid of my uncle that I dare not preach the gospel to him. If it is your will, please help me, because I don't know how to preach it."

On Saturday of that week, my mother and I made an appointment to go to the Binjiang trail, but when I was about to go out, a voice in my heart urged me: Don’t go to Binjiang, and if you don’t go to see my uncle, I will never go to the riverside again in this life. I can't see it either.

I thought the words were serious, so I changed my mind before leaving and told my mother: "I won't play today, I'm going to the hospital."

Of course my mother was very surprised, she asked me: "There is no need to be in such a hurry! Uncle has been staying in the hospital for half a year. You will have time to see him every weekend from now on."

"No, I have to go today."

"If you insist so much, then go. But let's agree, it might rain next week. If you don't go to Binjiang this week, I won't accompany you when it rains next week."

I really wanted to play, but I made up my mind at this time, and instead of accepting the temptation, I said, "I'm going to the hospital."

"That's fine."

In the car, I was thinking about a question: What will happen so that I will never see my uncle again in this life?No way?Am I thinking too much?Hey, it would be nice if I wasn't so neurotic, but I can't say anything now, so I don't have to go back on my word.

Which healthy person is willing to go to the hospital?

The room was full of patients, either their feet were hanging from the bed frame, or their stomachs were ruptured and pus was leaking out. The room was filled with the pungent smell of disinfectant, and there was a dead silence everywhere.

My uncle was lying on the hospital bed like this.

The last time I saw him was when I went to live with Wang Xuanhuan at my uncle's house when I got married.Unexpectedly, this time meeting has come to the end of his life.

I wanted to cry when I saw him like this, but in order not to affect the patient's mood, I forcibly held back.

My aunt wanted to say hello to us with a smile, but her eyes turned red and she began to cry.My mother hurried up to comfort her and took her to cry in the corridor.

Now there are only me and my uncle left in the room.

I should preach the gospel to him, but what should I say?I suddenly felt that I was stupid, and I was promoted to be a preacher in the church, but when my family member was critically ill, I didn’t know how to open my mouth to preach the gospel to him.

It was my uncle who asked first, "Lin Xiao, how are you?"

"It's good." I thought for a while and said, "I'm going to church now."

"Oh?" Uncle's expression was very surprised. He lay on the bed trying to look at me, and pouted his mouth to ask me, "Why did you go to such a place suddenly?"

"I think God took me there." At this point, I had some courage in my heart, and I said, "There really is a God in this world."

"Okay, it's good to believe in Jesus. However, you believe in yourself, but I don't believe it anyway."

I don’t know if it’s because I’m sick, but my uncle didn’t treat me like my grandfather, but his attitude itself was not lukewarm, and I didn’t know how to take the initiative to talk to people, so I didn’t know how to put this The topic continues.

After a few minutes of silence, my aunt and my mother came in, and they started doing other things, so I had no chance to be alone with my uncle anymore.

Listening to the cries of pain one after another in the ward, the people outside the ward were collecting money from the aunt: "You have to buy this shelf for him first, so that he can use it when he recovers."

I thought in my heart that my uncle would never get better again, but how could I say this in front of the patient?

With great hopes, my aunt bought that pair of shelves and spent several thousand.In addition to that, there are eggs, socks, etc., a lot of things you can't think of.Everyone lives here, and everything is done according to orders. If you don't do it, you can sign it, regardless of life or death.As a family member, who is willing to sign such a letter?

My aunt took the shelf back to the ward, and she finally had a smile on her face: "Look, this is just bought."

Uncle was very unhappy: "Why spend that wrong money?"

"If the hospital says you can buy it, just buy it. When you recover, you can use it directly to recover."

"I don't need that. When I get out of the hospital, I'll go back to the countryside to pick up poles. I'll pick up ten bricks first, and then slowly add more, so that my body will be the same as before. Strong. When the time comes, I will carry a pole and walk with you, okay?"

I couldn't bear to listen to these words, so I quietly left the ward, wiping my tears while no one was paying attention.