[Comprehensive] living to death

After she died, he couldn't recover for a long time.The site of the once magnificent and solemn Kamigamo Shrine has become a desolate wasteland, and even the mountains and forests rooted here have died; the green is far away, as if they are in awe of this place and dare not grow towards it.The sun rises and sets, but the sun that falls here is also pale and dim.The entire Shanghe Mao Shenshan seems to be seriously injured, only the mountain wind still shuttles back and forth.

He wandered the mountains all day long.He is looking for that person.He saw her standing here with his own eyes, and she also said that she would come to him after she finished what she should do.It must have been so hard that even she would have felt exhausted after finishing it, so she never showed up.It didn't matter, he'd find her; he was going to come back and find her, too.She must still be waiting for him in a corner here, she must believe that he can find her, that's why she didn't even send out a call...

Never mind, he'll find her.

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and the green in the distance is mixed with withered yellow; the sky becomes higher and higher, and the wind blowing from the north quietly soaks in a layer of chill.Migratory birds skimmed the edge of the setting sun and flew south in silence.Day after day, she didn't show up.

"Ibaraki Doji."

He only wanted to hear one person's voice, and everything else was just unnecessary interference.

"Hi, Ibaraki-douji."

Years ago, shortly after they met, she had given him a string of copper coins.She said that it was a coin from a country across the sea, and she kept it with her for a long time with her spiritual energy. If the copper coin became hot, she was calling him, and if the red thread was broken... Heh, how did he answer it then?

"Ibaraki Doji!"

He thought, he doesn't remember.He didn't remember what he said at the time, just like he couldn't remember how he threw himself on the cold ground that day, picked up the scattered copper coins one by one, and reconnected them with the broken red thread.The thin red thread broke into knots, and he had only a little bit to retie them together.Although he has been very careful, he is not good at doing these meticulous things after all; the hairpin polished for her is very rough, and now the string of copper coins is also crooked, not as good-looking as the one she made.However, just put it together...

"Ibaraki-douji, please cheer me up!"

Pain in the cheek.The sound of a torso hitting the dirt.The earthy smell is cool and moist.He didn't bother to roll his eyes, so he looked straight up.The night sky was high, with few stars and very light clouds.Gradually, he involuntarily focused his eyes on the crescent moon, and could no longer look away.

... Just put them together.

The string of copper coins that he had tried to restore could not be restored to its original state after all.The thread is very short, and the copper coins are crookedly crowded into a pile, and there is no way to put it on the wrist like before.Now he puts the copper coin on his heart, and wants her to put it back on him after he finds her.She would inevitably make fun of him for his clumsy handwork, for his inability to do even such a trivial thing.

"Bastard, who was the one who pestered me before saying that he couldn't be fooled by a mere woman! Hey, Ibaraki Doji, did you hear that? How long are you going to be depressed in this place?"

really noisy.He never knew that Shuten-douji had such noisy moments.

"Shuten-douji..."

"Get up for me!"

He let the other party pull him up.It doesn't matter, he has his own business to do.Now he has only one thing to do, and he doesn't want to waste time on meaningless conversations.

"You bastard... Can you accept the reality! That woman is no longer in this world, Ibaraki Doji, how long are you going to lie to yourself!"

... Heh, accepting ... reality?What reality to accept?He finally looked at Shuten-douji for the first time; the best friend who had been chasing him in the past, behind the angry expression was unabashed concern—concern for him?This candor almost made him hate it at the moment. "Shuten-douji, why do you even say that?" He asked slowly, "Oh, even that woman of Hongye... even that kind of woman can come back from the dead, why do you say that my Mingyue is gone? My Mingyue...my..."

Why is it her?

"Even those ants are trying to survive...those dirty, despicable, cowardly, selfish little people..."

Why is it her?

"Those guys must be very lucky! Heh, mortals' wishful thinking and arrogance, let her bear the disaster! They hide behind her and tremble... No, they are probably very proud of finding a scapegoat, haha Haha... Shuten-douji, isn't your Momiji too! Without her, what do you think such a humble woman would do!"

The roar and punch of a best friend.Really menacing!Hehehe... so what?Has it been said that it hurts?Isn't what he said the truth?Isn't this world able to survive only by sacrificing her alone! !

"This kind of power...! Ibaraki Doji, what did you do?!"

The unstoppable sadness ignited the unstoppable hatred; the boundless hatred continued to merge into new power, and the entangled black flame spread and burned from his body.

"Ibaraki Doji!!"

The fact he desperately denied, the person he desperately wanted to find, the person who made an appointment with him to come to him...

——I hope that the world will be unified and the world will be clear.

What kind of answer is this?

——Then... I hope that every free life can live well.

Why...you have to face that fate alone?

——I will definitely come to you... After I finish what I should do, Ibaraki, I will come to you.

Why... don't wait for him any longer, just a moment?

——"...with my own body, I will forever guard Yinchuan, so that the heaven and earth will be peaceful, the yin and yang will be orderly, and all things will be clear..."

—…Goodbye, Ibaraki...

Why!Why!is her! ! !Why is she ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ! !

Huge and terrifying forces entangled and gathered around him, rushing endlessly in all directions.He had never experienced such a deep resentment—a resentment full of killing intent.

Damn, hateful, hateful bastards, bastards, all go to hell, go to hell, go to hell... go to hell! ! !All the people who brought her to this point!All those who stood by her death!monster!gods!Everything, everything—he's going to kill it all! ! !

She once said that resentment in the human heart will breed ghosts, and the deeper the resentment, the more terrifying the ghosts will be.And what about the genie's resentment?What about a big monster like him who has lived too long and accumulated too much power?Like him... how deep will his resentment be when he loses the one he finally met... the one and only beloved... how deep will his resentment be?Ghost...?No.

No, there will be no ghosts.

"The wine swallow boy."

"Now, I'm the devil myself."

He could barely feel the so-called "wisdom"; the only thing screaming in him seemed to be hatred... hate!And the desire to kill.

"What? What are you going to do, Ibaraki-douji... Hey! Stop me, you bastard!! You bastard..."

He can't hear anything.The sound of the wind rang in his ears, and the broken clouds hurt his eyes.The power of resentment formed a black cloud, carrying him to the direction of Heianjing.When he flew up, he seemed to be approaching the shallow moon in the sky, but no matter how high he flew, no matter how hard he stretched out his hand, the clean moonlight was still so far away that he couldn't touch it.

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha..."

Human!

Kamo!Fujiwara!Abe!Tenmangu!Those moths in the mansion who are dreaming and fighting for power and profit!

He hammered heavily on the formation of Heian-kyo, and after the barrier was broken, he unscrupulously let the black flames burn the streets of the city.He heard the screams of human beings, but the more they screamed, the more comfortable he felt—even though there was deep sea-like pain behind this comfort.

Humans are whining.Howl as much as you want, the more painful and mad, the more he can feel the comfort of that emptiness.

Onmyoji and whoever is stopping the resistance.It doesn't matter, the mantis' arm is like a cart.He stared at the black sea of ​​flames without any wavering in his heart.No worry, no fear, no joy.Nothing at all.

Grief over loss of life?Suffering from seeing a loved one pass away?Hehe... From this point of view, what is the difference between humans and monsters?By the way, he remembered that he asked her this question...or did she bring it up to him?It is the latter.Only she would have the mind to think about these strange things, and then say some specious things.

——I think there is actually no difference between monsters and humans... Ibaraki-chan, you sniffed again.Humming and humming is not good, it is easy to be misunderstood, so it needs to be changed.

"Ibaraki Doji, stop now!!"

Who was the human who ordered him?Kamo, or Abe?Is the Tao of Tianmangong really coming?Where have all these people gone?Huddled in the city and shivering, and being sheltered by her, you must be very comforted by this, right?

"Master Daoman, Master Daoman, think of a way!"

"Hey... Daoman, I don't want to go into this muddy water..."

Anger burned his mind, so that he couldn't remember exactly what she said at that time.He felt even angrier because of this, and instinctive resentment drove him to throw his strength at the group of noisy nobles.

"Master Daoman!!! Master Seimei!!! Think of a way!!!!"

It was panicked to the point of being ugly.Weak people are really boring, but it is this group of despicable weak people who make her...!

Absolutely—unforgivable.

The aura of the Ping'an-kyo formation came on one after another, and the spells of onmyojis and strange people and strange things came and went one after another.Warriors guard their boring masters.The weak ghosts are also dodging in panic.

— Where did I say that?Oh yes, I remembered.Although, human life is really too short compared to powerful monsters; the length of life will bring different life experiences.but……

"My lord! I will protect my lord!"

——But as long as we have the same emotions, sorrow or joy, pain or happiness, then at the most essential level of life, we are all the same...

Humans running in panic.The onmyoji who said something earnestly.What a waste of effort.

——The same want to get something, the same fear of losing something; the same hate, and the same love.Ibaraki, how about telling you a secret, I...

He heard the flute.Quiet, serene, almost sad, the sound of the flute came from nowhere, and for no reason...he felt familiar.

"The moon shines like clear snow, plum blossoms shine like stars..."

I remembered.That was... the music that lingered around her when she danced for the first time.

At the moment when he remembered that scene, he also remembered what she said at that time.What she said was...was...

He stood there in a daze, and suddenly stopped moving.He didn't care about the oncoming knife light, what kind of spell was added, he just stretched out his hand to block it.In an instant, blood spattered, and he just glanced expressionlessly at his flying right arm.It wasn't that there was no pain, on the contrary, the heart-piercing pain invaded his brain instantly.But it's also good.

——I, I really like humans.

——I like humans very much, and I also like monsters.I love all sentient beings.I like this world that has raised countless creatures.

——Ibaraki-chan, do you like this world?

... also good.Only pain is so real.

The flute continues.But he didn't want to hear any more.Without that person, everything is in vain.

"never mind."

He suddenly felt so tired.

He left Heian-kyo just like that.All the human beings he met looked like murderers, but when he looked closely, the trembling expressions were so innocent.

"Mingyue...what do you like about them?"

With his back to the city, he walked slowly farther and farther.

"You don't want to see the situation I want... do you?"

The night is deep and the world is vast.He walked aimlessly, and for the first time felt that the world was so vast that he was so at a loss.Losing his right arm, he walked staggeringly; dark red blood dripped continuously, being swallowed by the boundless darkness behind him.

He's just moving forward.The moon was in the sky in front of him, so he kept his face up and stumbled towards the place where the bright moon was.

That is really... a very long distance, as if it will never be reached.

There was the sound of waves hitting the river bank ahead, and the smell of river water floated in the air.He only looked at the little brilliance in the sky, but lowered his eyes in a strange way.

The water surface was blown by the river wind to create waves one after another, much like the undulating lines of her clothes when the wind blows.And those sparkling waves in the wrinkled waves come from...

Thousands of rivers have water... Thousands of rivers and moons...

"Moon..."

He suddenly ran towards the direction of the river.He jumped off the river bank, waded forward, and ran in the direction of Jiang Xinyue.In winter, the river water is icy cold, and the wound is excruciatingly painful.He tried his best to go to the center of the river, desperately stretched out his remaining left hand, and fished for the moon that was absolutely impossible to be fished up over and over again.

"Mingyue! Mingyue! Mingyue ahhhh!!!"

She used to tell him stories.It was a story called "The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter", about a mortal couple who found a princess from the sky in a bamboo, and named her "Kaguya Ji", which means that her beauty can light up the darkest night .They lived happily together, but in the end, the princess was brought back to the Moon Kingdom after she grew up.At the end of the story, Kaguya Ji burst into tears, sobbing, and wrote a letter of parting to mortals: ... It is difficult to stay in this world for a long time, so I go in feather clothes.Yijun's affection is heavy, and the letter of mourning expresses his heart.

With tears in her eyes, Kaguya Ji put on her feather robe, immediately forgot everything and returned to Yue Kingdom.The beauty that does not belong to the world will not be able to stay in the world in the end.The people who were left in the mortal world mourned unceasingly and died in depression.

Just to never see that person again is already so sad.So, what if you just watched that person disappear before your eyes?

——"Ibaraki, you have to remember me."

—— "Or, forget about me."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!"

He won't forget her, he will never forget her!Even if he died in such pain, even if he suffocated to death in this moonlit river now, he would never forget it.

This river... is He Mochuan, right?It's the river with the same name as her.Did she ever want to protect humans on both sides of the strait?Does she like it here too?

He was ups and downs in the river, and through the icy water, he saw the crooked moonlight.He stretched out his hand towards the misty moonlight.

——"As long as you remember me, I will not disappear."

He watched, and slowly, his numb expression loosened, and a vain smile appeared from the gap.

won't... make you disappear...

"I'll remember..."

"Mingyue...I will remember..."

He will always remember her until the end of his own life.

******

When the sun rose, Qingque quietly left He Maochuan.

Qing Xingdeng asked: "Aren't you going to give Ibaraki Doji the medicine for forgetting the master?"

Qingque was silent for a long time, then shook her head: "It still doesn't work. The master originally said that I would leave the choice to Mr. Ibaraki Doji himself. It seems clear what answer that adult will have."

"A Deng..."

The sky was light in the morning, and the air was cold and fresh.Qingque turned her head and glanced behind her - that was the direction where He Maochuan was, and it was also the direction where the sun was rising.

"It's another new day." Qingque said, "The life of a monster...is really terribly long."

A long rest, a long goodbye.