When being possessed by the Honmaru

The sea breeze in this world is cool, and the endless sea level extends to the end of the horizon.

The gray sky, the gloomy weather in Yokohama today, began to rain like fine needles in the evening.Yamabashi Kiri Kunihiro has already put on the coir raincoat, and the white sheet that he never leaves is still wrapped under the bamboo hat. The blond young man stands quietly on the high cliff by the sea and looks into the distance. The gentle wind blows his body. Hem.

There is no one here, it is a barren hill, only scattered solitary tombs are located around the uphill slope of the cliff.

This part of the city of Yokohama used to be a great place to enjoy the scenery, a popular residential area with sea views.But according to Mr. Zhongyuan, there was a big explosion here many years ago, a big hole was blasted in the ground, the residential area was completely wiped out, and it became a depression under the huge power of natural disasters.The sea can no longer be seen here, and the frightened people no longer come back to live. Only people who smuggle in from other places, criminals, orphans and people with nowhere to go gradually gather here. Fish and dragons are mixed together, forming a new slum - Bora street.

The mountains and land around Bora Street were also abandoned, and no one disturbed them usually.Yamabashi Kiri Kunihiro finally found this high cliff at the suggestion of Mr. Dazai.Mr. Dazai's recommendation is correct - the sea is very beautiful from here.I heard from him that Oda-senpai’s wish was to build a small house nearby to live in. Unfortunately, considering safety issues, Oda-senpai still gave up.

"Dead...?" Yamabashi Kiri Kunihiro murmured while staring into the distance.He took off the bamboo hat on top of his head and let the sea breeze mess up his blond hair, as if this would make his mind clearer, "...my own death."

[Mr. Dazai... Is suicide a way for you to think about life and examine yourself?really useful?Oda-senpai also seems to think that one can see oneself clearly on the eve of death. ]

He recalled that time, when he asked Dazai Osamu that way, the black-haired young man showed an unfathomable expression on his face.

"I don't deny it." Dazai replied frankly, but he also spread his hands, his clear voice suddenly became quieter, and warned Kunimichi Yamabuchi, "But I don't think this applies to everyone. Especially you..."

"Is your concept really the same as that of human beings? Mr. Yamabukiri, or if you are confused about this matter, do your concepts tend to be fusangshen or human beings? If you are not sure, just listen to our suggestion. Maybe you will go into a misunderstanding too." Dazai gently asked the last sentence, blinked his eyes, those kite-colored eyes were penetrating and far away, and then he simply bid farewell to Yamabuki Kunihiro, leaving only Under the address of this seaside.

The cold and fine raindrops fell on the young man's cheeks, and the blond hair gradually became wet. There was only this slender figure on the edge of the cliff, standing alone for a long time, making Yamabashi Kiri Kunihiro look a little pitiful at this moment.But his eyes, who were dazed in a daze, became brighter, and his confusion gradually dissipated.

' Death belongs to me. '

'Yes, like humans, but different. '

'...suicide itself is not important, what is important is what can be found through this process. '

Daojian Fusangshen has never explored the issue of life and death, nor does he think about it that way.Because they were born to carry people's resentment or expectations for a long time, their existence is the meaning imposed by human beings.They are accessories, sharp weapons, and dead creatures that move with the owner's mind.

After turning into Fusangshen, their original emotions can finally be expressed independently, and that emotion is placed on the movable body, which is called the 'heart'.They are not as afraid of death as humans are, and they endow death with various meanings.One day the knife will be broken, that is the fate of the sword. They know that what they have to do is to drive their "heart" more before this body dies, to feel the world freely, to fulfill the meaning given to them by human beings .

——It turns out that it's not that "people can redeem themselves before they die, so that they can let go of everything."It is that when people are close to losing everything, they can better understand what is most precious to them, and thus feel relieved.The reason why Daojian doesn't feel this way is that the purer ones only live for their masters, and they have always done so, which is their advantage.

Yamabashi Kiri Kunihiro falls right in between the two.

Like thousands of ordinary Yamabashi Kiri Kunihiro, he longs to be driven by the lord, to be trusted and recognized, and to be used by humans.But since his birth, he has been pushed farther and farther by a series of changes, and he has reached the end of another road, which is more and more like the thinking mode of human beings.Without a master, he was confused because of this, so he wanted to find his own meaning through "die once".

Now, he has been reminded by Mr. Dazai's words, and he has completely cleared his mind.

... Didn't he realize it a long time ago?In fact, he knew it.

He himself...is a special hit "Yamabugi Kirihiro".He does not belong to human beings nor Token Fusangshen, he is not a pure god judge nor a pure weapon, he has no real destination.No matter how he tried to search, or where he searched, he couldn't find the answer!

"..."

But this time, the blond young man who was quietly thinking about these things didn't feel uneasy. He flattened the line of his lips, but his expression became more determined.None of that matters anymore.

Because he has seen it clearly.

What is his 'death'.What is the surging emotion surging in his chest.What does the 'heart' that drives his body until now really want.That's the precious thing that's left after all the emptiness, the withdrawal, the anxiety.He is not a cowardly character who has been hesitating.

That thing has been awakened a long time ago, but it was only recognized by him today.Yamabasaki Kunihiro spoke softly, with some uncertainty.The somewhat dry voice faded away in the increasingly loud sound of rain: "I think..."

He didn't actually feel that life was bad now.In fact, he is used to being busy or warm every day.He actually likes everyone's support and trust in him.He's actually very proud of his name.

The raindrops slapped on the coir raincoat, making a sound similar to reproach.The sky was getting darker and darker, the howling of the wind was getting louder, and even the sea was setting off waves.Kunihiro Yamababa thought for a while, and tried to speak again, slightly aggravating his voice.His trembling fingers clenched the quilt by his side, so hard that there were marks: "I think..."

There are many things he wants to maintain the status quo. Thousands of words have summed up everything, but he doesn't know how to say it specifically.He could only clutch the white sheet clumsily.

Admit it.

You know what that is.

The blond young man mustered up all his courage, and suddenly raised his eyelids. His blue eyes were as bright as burning flames, and seemed to be filled with deep mist. The emotions that he could not find out in his chest were boiling, They all burst out of the embankment, unable to hide anymore, they surged through the throat, rushed up the sore bridge of the nose, and finally gushed out of the eye sockets.He clenched the body knife around his waist, and finally yelled loudly, tearing to the point of breaking:

"—I want to live for myself like a human being! I live for myself!!"

He is a special existence.

so what?He will learn from the maturity of human beings and lead Honmaru to the next step.He will pay the body of the god of mourning with a sword to protect other companions.He has already awakened, he is living for this kind of self, and he was also afraid and confused because of this kind of self.

Now he will no longer think about the past, because he has found his heart.

"...I am Kiri Kunihiro Yamabashi." The blond young man resumed his calm narration, he looked up at the sky silently, the rain was about to stop.He slowly took off the white sheet covering his head.

The author has something to say: [That is to say, the victim thought he was a different kind before, but...after this and that operation, when he recognized it, he was able to accept himself!But the polarization is not over, because it is a process of personality maturation. 】

By:

[Sincerely, Aru.

I……

I've figured out what really matters, but some issues persist.I decided to travel for a while, learn something, and come back to you with a better attitude.

——I won’t hesitate anymore, in the name of Yamabuki Kunihiro. ]

Informed Knives (cheering): "—that's great!!"

"But how long is it qwq?" California Qingguang said aggrievedly.

感谢在2021-05-3117:27:42~2021-06-0123:59:34期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mines: Feng Ji Yizhai 1;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：三猫84瓶；虚源、杜雪飞仙40瓶；猫猫、不多言语10瓶；君生、溪团子3瓶；污浊的人间失格、烟华如梦1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!