heartwarming document

The light in the bedroom was on, but Xu Zhi felt that the place where he was sitting was a bit dark, and the light couldn't come in anyway. In the darkness, he recalled something that happened a long time ago.

It was also the summer vacation after his college entrance examination, when he hadn't moved out from his parents' house.

That summer vacation was very long and hot, and Xu Zhi's birthday was at the end of the hot August.

He accompanied his parents to a partner's birthday party that year, and the aunt's birthday was not far behind his, and he took a cupcake at the party.

The cake was small, all cream, only topped with a very large blueberry.

Xu Zhi didn't eat it at the time. He put the cake in the refrigerator, but on his birthday, he found that the cake was gone.

The cleaning aunt told him that the cake was not fresh a few days ago, so she disposed of it.

Xu Zhi got very angry at that time, Xu Yang was so frightened that he kept crying, Liang Yaqing had to come to find out the situation.

Since he was 16 years old, his parents have never celebrated his birthday with much fanfare, so when Liang Yaqing learned that today is his birthday, she was embarrassed and stopped blaming him.

Xu Zhi didn't want to admit that he really wanted to hear that sentence of happy birthday, but he still couldn't control his emotions.

He walked out angrily, asked the driver to take him to a cake shop in the city, and bought himself a small corner of blueberry cake.

The cake looks good, but it's hard to eat.

Xu Zhi sat on a bench in the park under the scorching sun, watching it melt into an ugly and nauseating puddle in the box.

When the blueberries slid down the cream, Xu Zhi subconsciously raised his hand to catch it, and then his hand was wet as expected.

A few days after his birthday, Xu Zhi received a gift from Liang Yaqing, the key to an apartment.

He is 26 years old this year and still lives in this apartment. For such a long time, he is not as promising as before.

"Xu Zhi, it's really useless." Xu Zhi lowered his head and said to himself, then touched his phone and called Wen Shuyao.

Before that, Xu Zhi had never been hospitalized for treatment.

Even though his parents were the wealthiest celebrities in the city and could find good hospitals and doctors for him, it always sounded different to have a son who was mentally ill and one who was sent to a mental institution.

And Xu Zhi himself has never thought of being admitted to the hospital for treatment. In this regard, he may be more face-saving than his parents.

Wen Shuyao should have fallen asleep, Xu Zhi called, but he didn't answer.

Xu Zhi put down the phone, ready to call again in a few minutes.

At this moment, the sound of the combination lock opening suddenly came from the entrance.

Xu Zhi clenched his phone tightly, staring at the door without blinking.

The footsteps were getting closer, Xu Zhi's Adam's apple moved, and he unconsciously licked his lips.

The first thing that catches the eye is a pair of light gray house slippers.

The visitor walked quickly, and walked in front of Xu Zhi in a short while.

Xu Zhi looked up along the long legs, then turned his head expressionlessly.

"Xu Zhi." Zhou Mu knelt down and slowly called Xu Zhi's name.

Xu Zhi was unmoved. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Zhou Mu was approaching him, so he closed his eyes subconsciously.

Zhou Mu also sat on the ground, stretched out his arms to hug Xu Zhi, pulled him into his arms, and gently tapped his lips against his ear.

"Xu Zhi," Zhou Mu said, "I'm sorry, I scared you, didn't I?"

His voice was very gentle, Xu Zhi closed his eyes, feeling the slight tremor of Zhou Mu's chest when he spoke, and the hot breath against his ear.

Very real, he thought.

Zhou Mu supported Xu Zhi's shoulders, slowly distanced himself from him, and called him, "Xu Zhi."

Xu Zhi hesitated for a few seconds, opened his eyes and looked at Zhou Mu, realizing that perhaps the most desperate moment in his life might be now.

Because he had to admit that he was an incurable mental patient.

Even though he realized that Zhou Mu did not exist, he was still caught in the hallucinations and hallucinations that he couldn't get out of, and the person who only existed in his imagination was hugging him and calling his name.

But he couldn't push it away.

"What's wrong?" Zhou Mu called him softly, while speaking, he pressed his hand on Xu Zhi's shoulder.

Xu Zhi turned his head to look at the hand with sharp joints, and his heart suddenly became sore.

He had never hated his condition so much.

He is an out-and-out mental patient, but why, give him Zhou Mu and take it away.

He took Zhou Mu to check his body, indulged him to pay for buy one get one free condoms at the supermarket, they kissed wet and long by the sink in the kitchen, and made love recklessly on the big bed in the bedroom.

Xu Zhi had never been particularly needed by anyone, but Zhou Mu told him, "Xu Zhi, you can do anything to me."

"Xu Zhi, I like you very much."

"Xu Zhi, I can't live without you."

Xu Zhi slightly raised his eyes to look at Zhou Mu, from his slightly wrinkled brows, he could see the thin lips that opened and closed, perhaps because Zhou Mu had less serious lip lines on his lips because he drank less water.

He was still wearing the solid-color short-sleeves he had chosen for him, Xu Zhi thought, maybe this payment was also fake.

Maybe he has never been out these days. It is not necessarily true. Wen Shuyao has never seen Zhou Mu, the porridge shop owner has never seen Zhou Mu, and the supermarket shopping guide has never seen Zhou Mu. They may not even meet Xu Zhi these days. .

Xu Zhi stared at Zhou Mu for a few seconds, his eyes became blurred.

Zhou Mu wiped his tears frantically with one hand, while gently pinching Xu Zhi's fingers with the other hand, he asked what happened to Xu Zhi.

Xu Zhi couldn't answer.

He ignored Zhou Mu's words, and took out his mobile phone to call Wen Shuyao.

Wen Shuyao answered quickly this time, but his voice was still very sleepy, "Xiao Zhi, what's wrong?"

"Shu Yao." Xu Zhi's eyes were always blurred, he couldn't see Zhou Mu's expression clearly, but he could feel Zhou Mu's warm fingers rubbing against his face.

"Xiao Zhi," Wen Shuyao heard that he was in a bad mood, "what's the matter?"

"Did you say," Xu Zhi sniffled and let out a long breath, "your brother is the director of a mental hospital."

Xu Zhi felt that Zhou Mu's hand wiping his tears obviously paused.

"Where are you?" Wen Shuyao sounded as if he had woken up, and he said quickly, "I'll go find you."

"At home." Xu Zhi moved the hand held by Zhou Mu, and gently shook it.

"I'll be right there," Wen Shuyao heard the sound of the car unlocking, "you wait for me at home."

"I should be hallucinating." Xu Zhi said, effortlessly squeezed his five fingers into Zhou Mu's fingers, and pinched them.

"Xu Zhi," Zhou Mu spoke suddenly, he pinched Xu Zhi's chin, and told him, "It's not a hallucination, I'm right here."

Xu Zhi was stunned, and the movement of pinching Zhou Mu's hand also paused for a moment, then pretended not to hear, and continued to report the illness to Wen Shuyao, "There are still auditory hallucinations."

"Xiao Zhi," Wen Shuyao's tone became very serious, "What did you see?"

"It's nothing." Xu Zhi said, and then looked at Zhou Mu sadly and curiously.

Zhou Mu looked at him with a very sad look, causing Xu Zhi to have the illusion that all this is real.

"Is Zhou Mu at home?" Wen Shuyao asked him in an unquestionable tone, and then shouted loudly, "Call Zhou Mu now."

Xu Zhi was stunned by the shout, and when he realized what Wen Shuyao said, Zhou Mu had already taken the phone.

"Well, I see." After Zhou Mu answered the phone, he hung up after saying a word, and then looked at Xu Zhi intently.

Xu Zhi's chest began to heave rapidly, his whole body trembling, and then he pushed Zhou Mu away and stood up.

"Xu Zhi!" Zhou Mu quickly followed. He put Xu Zhi's hands together and called him, "Look at me!"

Xu Zhi burst into tears, and it only took a few seconds from choking to crying bitterly.

His world view fell apart in an instant, like a cream cake that melted under the scorching sun that year, terrible and faceless.

Everything he thought to be true was false, and what he thought to be false became true.

Xu Zhi thought, then who is he?

Does that incurable mental patient named Xu Zhi really exist?

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The author has something to say: This chapter refers to some materials. If the disorder such as delusion and anxiety has not been treated, it may lead to depersonalization, which can be manifested as feeling that all or part of the self seems to be unreal, remote or false.

In addition, I have searched for symptoms of paranoid and schizophrenic patients on the Internet, and I feel that many of their ideas are really magical and different, but Xu Zhi’s symptoms are completely made up by me, so please don’t take them seriously. I'm also afraid of misleading everyone, and he's not that serious, he still has to fall in love.