the one who lives in my body

Cough, rest tomorrow

"Too sensitive?" Walking on the road, I kept smacking Xie Dongrong's words.

Man is such a strange creature, if I keep treating him coldly, he will definitely lose control and do something that neither I nor he can control, which is against common sense, but if I allow him to approach, he will Tested my bottom line again and again, and replied to me "You are too sensitive."

Because at least at this stage, I can't separate from him, so I have always chosen a method that I think can control the situation the most.

brother?In fact, after careful study, I don't believe this kind of ridiculous title. I can only hold the idea of ​​a dead horse as a living horse doctor, try my best to rationalize my relationship with Xie Dongrong, and at the same time see if I can cure his illness. .

This is a certain degree of self-deception, because I find that I have no ability to change everything I am facing now, so I can only deceive myself.

Sometimes I really wish I could be stronger, but in fact I am just an ordinary mortal.

Looking at the person walking beside me now from the corner of my eye, I can't help but ask myself, what kind of feelings do I have for him now?

Want me to deceive myself that I have completely ruthless towards him as if I suddenly forgot about this person?I'm not a saint, sorry I can't do it, I just don't want to have sex with him, I can't treat him like I used to, I don't want to be with him.

As if sensing my gaze, Xie Dongrong turned his head and looked over with a little questioning gaze.

I shook my head, smiled without knowing what to say, and stepped forward.

·

As an old acquaintance of Xie Dongrong, I am not at all surprised that I will meet Mr. Zhao here this time.

"This should be an out-and-out defensive mecha." Looking at the towering semi-finished frame not far away, Mr. Zhao gave a pertinent evaluation. After that, he turned to look at Xie Dongrong, and said with a smile: "Originally I thought that the mecha ordered for the general's family would be of the type that can be used both offensively and defensively."

I naturally understand what Mr. Zhao means. In fact, he mentioned it many times in front of me, saying that at least a little attack power is required. This kind of full-point defense mech, no matter how cool the finished product is, On the battlefield, you can only be a turtle.

And my answer to Mr. Zhao is very clear: "I never thought it would be put on the battlefield."

Although most of the finished products produced by the mecha manufacturing center in the capital are for the military, but at least I am the Nancheng mecha manufacturer, and the works led by me will not be swayed by the needs of the war.

Of course, I don't intend to say that on the bright side. Although Mr. Zhao is indeed worthy of my admiration, the principled issue will never be changed because of the eyes of others.

Xie Dongrong didn't reply to Mr. Zhao's greetings. Turning his head, I found that he was staring at the towering frame not far away. It's just a big tree..."

Hearing this, Mr. Zhao laughed out loud: "Indeed, such a form is unprecedented. At the beginning, none of us thought of it. We can only say that Xiao Tao is indeed very talented in terms of mecha modeling."

Xie Dongrong raised the corners of his lips, and when his palm was lightly placed on my shoulder, I heard Xie Dongrong say: "It's okay, Mr. Zhao, I'm willing to hand over this mecha to Xiaotao, and I will listen to him. Definitely no problem."

Presumably Xie Dongrong also saw that Mr. Zhao wanted to use his mouth to ask me to temporarily transform the mecha design into a type that is mainly used as an attacker. At this moment, his answer made me breathe a sigh of relief.

It seems that Xie Dongrong is generally satisfied with the basic form of this mech, and he did not raise any more opinions in the follow-up. I thought he would be critical, but he was very quiet throughout the whole process, and his eyes just stayed most of the time On that mecha whose frame could only be regarded as a semi-finished product, there was undisguised appreciation in his eyes.

"I remembered." After Mr. Zhao left, on the way back to the dormitory, Xie Dongrong suddenly said to me: "When I went to save you, we met again under that tree, right?"

I didn't know how to answer this, so I just smiled.

"You haven't forgotten," Xie Dongrong paused, "but you never asked."

Pausing for a moment, I didn't know how to answer for a while, facing everything Xie Dongrong said - tree?forget?

I only know that my instinctive reaction is to deny, but when I think about it carefully, I don't understand why I want to do that.

I am a person who is used to avoiding. In the face of the established tragedy, I am powerless and can only project some of my thoughts into my works, but in reality I choose not to remind myself or think.

Because I don't want to review all the cowardices I have had, and those days that are like dreams, as if they never appeared in my life.

Those days on Amut.

"What is there to ask?" Smiling, I looked at Xie Dongrong bluntly, I didn't understand why he brought it up, "If you ask, it can't change anything, and I know everything."

I know it, after all, during the three years when I fled from the mothership, the news about how our soldiers wantonly invaded and occupied Amut star was constantly broadcast on TV, and sometimes I heard people around me talking about it, Someone will also ask about your views, experiences, and those pasts.

Do I want Xie Dongrong to tell me word by word how he slaughtered those Amut people who had no weapons or supplies?

As for Panshi's tribe, I dare not ask, listen to, or recall.

I'm just glad that at least until now I haven't heard the news that their village is suspected to have been found.

Besides, as a soldier who carried out this cruel order, wouldn't it be a kind of harm to Xie Dongrong to think of this?

I've seen him ashamed of the war.

I thought it would be fine to just continue living tacitly like this, but I couldn't help it, especially when I was creating, when my hands touched the mecha parts and the mecha shell.

Others don't understand, but Xie Dongrong naturally understands.

Finally he spoke up.

"Our team has returned to that forest." Xie Dongrong said quietly, "We didn't find them, and there is no record of arresting Pan Shi."

I looked at him silently, we just stood in front of the bench by the side of the road, no one sat down, it might be a bit funny to others.

"...So, Rock...you paid attention."

Xie Dongrong's eyes flickered for a moment, and finally lowered his eyes, "He is more special and has received more attention."

Xie Dongrong's answer reassured me a little, and I thought for a while before making up my mind. Probing, I asked, "Where is that forest? What happened in the end?"

"The highest order is to burn it down." Xie Dongrong raised his eyes to look at me, then lowered his eyes quickly, "but it was not implemented in the end."

Xie Dongrong's sentence made me suffocate, but I am also glad that he was willing to tell me the truth, "Not implemented? Why?"

Xie Dongrong didn't answer directly, his blue eyes looked straight over, as if staring directly at the past through me:

"There are some families who are the leaders of the Amut star tribe who will choose to negotiate with our army."

"The first person who visited was a young and strong Amut man. He was shot outside the camp and his body was thrown in the bushes not far from the barracks; a few days later, another Amut man Ask to meet, compared to the previous one, he is older, he is as stubborn as his younger brother, he kept going to our camp, but finally fell down."

"Then came their father. He looked a little weak, with wet tears on his face, but just because he looked like he had the strength to kill, we still didn't hold back."

"The last one is an old man. His skin is wrinkled, his eyes are not bright, and he needs someone to help him when he walks... He can't understand our words, so he can only gesture desperately. In the end, he shed tears. We all I understand what he means - I just hope that the sacrifice of my family can be exchanged for the survival of the entire tribe."

"Actually, after staying on Amut Star for a long time, we can also feel what kind of creatures they are. They are more energetic than humans, understand their own insignificance, but never give in. Compared with them, we But it seems so unbearable... Many of our soldiers would have nightmares every night, but when the horn of war sounded, they had to awaken their animal nature of killing. Therefore, after hearing the news that the king was seriously ill... we all Breathe a sigh of relief."

"The soldiers wanted to go home, and so did I."

"Tao Shu, sometimes I wonder, will the king's family have the courage to stand up like the leaders of the Amut tribe? What is the meaning of nobility? Higher power, but not greater responsibility, which we are not as good as the Amut people.”

Xie Dongrong rarely talked to me about these things, and I never thought that one day Xie Dongrong would be able to talk to me about this topic very seriously.

"It's okay, it's all over." After thousands of words, I could only say this in the end.

I think that is why Xie Dongrong is standing behind An Boyan so firmly.

How much can I do with him?

Side by side, just like that, we returned to the dormitory.

Xie Dongrong stretched out his hand to me, and smiled slightly: "So, do you understand your feelings a little bit?"

I understood what he meant, and sighed, I raised my hand and held his bony hand.

So, for a long time, Xie Dongrong and I have reconciled with regard to these matters on Amut Star.

Although in essence, it seems that nothing has changed, but the feeling of finally unloading the burden is still very good.

·

Three days before An Boyan's birthday, I received a call from An Hexuan.

He wanted me to meet him before the dinner.

"Mech manufacturing center, right? I'll send a car to pick you up."

When he heard the news, Xie Dongrong frowned. He was sitting in my room, listening to me halfway through teaching me about mecha splicing.

An Hexuan spoke concisely, and after hanging up the phone, feeling Xie Dongrong's gaze, I turned my head.

"So you want to leave me alone and go first?" Xie Dongrong said half-jokingly.

"You can also meet your partner first." Opening the closet and taking out the suit I haven't worn for a long time, I began to worry whether this suit would suit An Hexuan's identity.

"I don't have a partner..." Xie Dongrong said, staring at me, "I'm only with you during this time."