I'm with the white moonlight of the mackerel

Probably because I was too strong. Seeing that Mr. Sen accidentally tripped and fell on the pothole caused by my ability to run amok, I walked over and helped him up: "Sorry, Mr. Sen."

"It's okay." Even if I was rejected, Mr. Mori still looked at me with tolerance: "It's okay, Chuya-kun."

When I held him up, I actually swayed a bit.Mr. Sen immediately frowned: "It seems that the side effects of the tranquilizer have begun to take effect?"

Mr. Mori looked at me with worry in his eyes: "I can take care of it here. If Mr. Nakaya is not feeling well, you should go and have a good rest."

"Then I will trouble you." The current situation is indeed a bit awkward, I reluctantly smiled at Mr. Sen and left the chief's office in a hurry.

It's just that after leaving the office, my footsteps also stopped. The world is so big that I don't know where to go.

I don't want to go back to my apartment, there are too many memories of my time with Dazai, and it will make me painful to go back and recall those memories.

But in other places, whether it is the rest room belonging to the leader or the cadres, in fact, there are traces of Dazai's presence everywhere.

As the leader who just took office, I can't just hang out on the side of the road.

Finally, after grabbing a good bottle of wine from the lounge, I made it to the rooftop on the top floor of the Port Mafia building.

I walked to the place where Osamu Dazai jumped off at the end, and sat directly on the concrete floor.

He picked up the cork of the red wine bottle and took a big gulp into the bottle.

The wind on the roof was very strong, and it made me a little cold.

The red wine was also icy cold, and the icy liquid was poured into my stomach. I looked down at Yokohama below.

Looking down from here, everything is so small.

Dazai's cemetery can be vaguely seen in the gaps between the high-rise buildings. He has become cold and buried there, and he can no longer appear by my side.

I heard that jumping off a building is the least painful way to die.

Under the influence of the strong airflow on the human body, the person who jumped from the building should have lost consciousness in mid-air, and then fell to the ground with a snap.

Therefore, the rooftop on the top floor is the place where many people seek relief, and it is also in line with Dazai's preference that jumping down will not cause him so much pain.

I don't know if it's true or not, anyway, every time I use gravity to fly in the air, I haven't been forced to lose consciousness by the airflow.

Maybe this is completely pseudoscience, Dazai was deceived, and maybe he was in great pain when he fell.

This thought made me curl my mouth and take another gulp of wine.

There are traces of the battle between Atsushi Nakajima and Ryunosuke Akutagawa left on the roof. I have personally inspected it, and I know that they are really fighting each other.

But in the end, both of them were fine, but Osamu Dazai, who was watching the show, chose to jump off the building.

I have to say, this is really ironic.

Laughing at the guy who might be painful to play in my heart, I thought of Mr. Mori downstairs again.

After we met again, Mr. Mori was very close to me.

What was the meaning of Mr. Mori's kiss?Whether it was to comfort me, or to express intimacy, no matter what it was, it was beyond my acceptance.

Although Mr. Mori's embrace is so warm, and Dazai's sudden death does make me feel painful, but I don't need another love to fill the void after I lost him.

Not even Mr. Mori.

I respect Mr. Mori and love him as the leader, and I am willing to follow his orders, but I never thought of developing a relationship with Mr. Mori, let alone choose to be with him when my lover just passed away.

Although I can't use the words that Mr. Mori is like my father in my heart to reject him face to face, but in fact this is the same in my heart.

After all, my father was a military doctor just like him, and my mother is a woman who is very similar to Miss Hongye.

The Port Mafia was the only home I had after I refused to admit to my parents.

Speaking of which, back then, I still chose to be with Dazai who "killed Mr. Mori" under the obstruction of Miss Hongye.

I am willing to sacrifice everything for Dazai. I have never regretted these choices, even today.

I love Osamu Dazai deeply, and I have always thought about spending a long life with him, and even planned the possibility of marrying him.

It's just that I'm not in his plan.

Dazai's plan does not include me, although I feel sorry for it, but compared to other things, his death can be accepted by me.

After all, this guy has been relentlessly committing suicide for a long time.It is also very reasonable to suddenly think of a way to die without being rescued.

Now, whether it is the Oda Sakunosuke who suddenly appeared in my sight who seems to have something to do with Dazai, or Mr. Mori's behavior makes me wonder if my previous life was a dream.

I wondered before why everything went so smoothly in the orphanage, and why Mr. Mori, who had left the organization, came back.

But now Mr. Mori's behavior makes me doubt that a large part of the reason why he chose to come back with me is because he is worried about me.

I can choose to accept Mr. Mori to be with him, to get warmth and comfort from Mr. Mori, and at the same time, I can take revenge on Dazai.

Even if I refused to become the leader's wife, this is actually true.So, I can actually choose to put a cuckold on Dazai on the day of his funeral.

But I wouldn't do that, even if that possibility in my guess was real.It is really possible that Dazai betrayed me, and I will not retaliate against him by this means.

This not only insulted Dazai, but also insulted Mr. Mori, and even underestimated my pride.

Although I wouldn't do this, when I think back on all this, I wonder if these are in Dazai's plan.

He has always been exhaustive, did he already know Mr. Mori's thoughts, and also knew that Akutagawa Silver might tell me that he left the day before he jumped off the building.

It was also because of this that he told me the news that Mr. Mori was still alive, and deliberately made arrangements that confused me even more.

Let me find evidence of his [betrayal] through various things, and want revenge for his betrayal.

At this time, Mr. Sen is a good choice that meets the optimal solution.

When I made this choice, Dazai also successfully completed his plan.

Give me the position of the leader, and Mr. Mori will help me by the side.

Mr. Mori even took care of my body while supporting the tissues.

What a great plan this is. Not only does it not have to worry about power struggles within the organization, but it also strengthens the organization.

It's really serving multiple purposes.

I couldn't help laughing out loud at the thought of this possibility, and if that's the case, the idea of ​​Dazai really makes me sick.

Even if I can accept Dazai's plan to choose to die, even if I'm not included in the plan, I can't accept the slightest possibility of this.

But based on what I know about him, this possibility is the greatest.

After taking a big sip of red wine, I cursed loudly at the sky: "Osamu Dazai, you are such a bastard."

The strong wind on the roof spread my voice very far, but it couldn't reach that person, but I didn't want to stop at all.

After taking a sip of wine and scolding someone, after drinking most of the bottle of red wine, I am also tired of scolding.

Lying on the roof, I looked at the sky helplessly, but at this moment his phantom suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

I sat up abruptly and looked at the figure in front of me.

The line of sight here is very good, the whole of Yokohama is under my feet, but I only have that person in my eyes.

Wearing a leader's costume and a red scarf, he floated in the void and looked at me. I just scolded him and pointed to his nose and started again: "Osamu Dazai, you are a bastard... trash... mackerel is the most annoying gone."

The figure of Dazai was always there, even after being scolded by me, he didn't refute, or disappeared and just looked at me with a smile.

After cursing a few words, I also stopped.

I stretched out half of my body from the roof and stretched out my hand to him. Although I couldn't find it, I still smiled: "I still want others to take care of me. You have so many plans and plans, and you never thought that I would not fall into the trap." What should I do?"

Dazai didn't answer my question, but I couldn't restrain the pain in my heart.

Resisting the urge to cry, I slowed my breathing and covered my face.

In the end, I still haven't asked the question I've always wanted to know, why don't you take me with you, why don't you let me die for you?

Are you afraid of being directly rejected by me?Why doesn't that cowardly bastard try it.

Maybe if you hold my hand and don't let go, no matter where I go with you, I will be willing.