recession

Tao Liyang didn't ask that question until the meal was over.However, this unspoken question was like a small stone scratching repeatedly in his heart, making him sleepless.

After failing to fall asleep again, Tao Liyang got up and washed his face.The light from the wall lamp reflected on the dark blue tiles in the bathroom gave a strange cold feeling. Tao Liyang looked at the person in the mirror with the dim light and tried to recall his appearance when he was in college.

It is indeed different, Tao Liyang thought, Xu Yunqing is also different from when he first met in the small theater... But why is Xu Yunqing still the same to him as before?

He never completely let go of Xu Yunqing, he knew it in his heart.In the past so many years, he has also lied to himself many times and said that it is over, Xu Yunqing has a new life, and he should also turn the page, the relationship of friends is enough, don't ask for trouble.

However, those feelings are like an active volcano, even if it is desperately suppressed to let it go dormant for a short time, it will always come alive again under a certain opportunity, such as now.

Tao Liyang gritted his back molars, thinking that the more he lived, the more he went back.Look at yourself in the mirror and ask him: "You lost again, what do you do now?"

what to do?Tao Liyang doesn't know, and at the age of 30, he still doesn't have an answer.The other end of the question was always in Xu Yunqing's hands.What kind of relationship they can have is actually up to Xu Yunqing's decision.

Tao Liyang leaned against the cold marble edge of the sink and sighed, he couldn't see through Xu Yunqing.Xu Yunqing has always only admitted that he is his most important friend, but are there other friends besides this, can there be others?

Love is nothing more than caring and possessiveness. They have never said love but the company these years has been real. They have never held hands or kissed but the eyes that fell on each other are real...The best friend and lover Where are the boundaries?

Xu Yunqing vaguely said not to be with men while he was half asleep and half awake, so he stayed honestly as a good friend for 12 years.But after so many years, can there really be no change?Tao Liyang recalled Xu Yunqing's inexplicable emotions and interrupted in a panic tonight... Could it be because of Wei Xiao?

He was worried that this was just another self-indulgence, but on the other hand, he couldn't help but hope that Xu Yunqing might really care about him. If so... would this care be enough for him to pull Xu Yunqing over from the boundary?

He was distracted by his series of questions, his face in the mirror looked calm, only the phone was turning back and forth in his palm, always looking uneasy.

Tao Liyang stared at Xu Yunqing's name on the screen, holding his finger at an ambiguous distance, thinking that he should force him to tell the truth, but he was reluctant.After thinking about it, I couldn't help but bow my head and smile wryly. In the end, I accidentally tapped my fingertip on the screen and actually dialed it.

"Liyang?" The call was connected faster than expected, so fast that Tao Liyang had no time to hang up, and Xu Yunqing sounded very clear, "Haven't you slept yet?"

Xu Yunqing's voice had a strange power, and Tao Liyang's flustered heart slowly settled down again, half leaning on the washstand and talking nonsense: "I didn't sleep, I was watching the moon."

Xu Yunqing was quiet for a while, and didn't even ask him what he was calling for, but just followed his words: "How is the moonlight tonight?"

"Okay." Tao Liyang turned his head and looked out, vaguely saw the mottled tree shadow, and said casually: "It's just that there are vines outside my window, so I can't see clearly."

"Do you live in the Repulse Bay Hotel?" Xu Yunqing said with a smile, somewhat vaguely through the receiver, like the first handful of snow that melted.

Tao Liyang's corners were involuntarily bent, he just said it in passing, Xu Yunqing mentioned this, but he remembered: "Aren't you asleep yet?"

"Probably thinking that I don't have to get up early tomorrow, so I won't be able to fall asleep." There was still a smile in his voice, and Tao Liyang could imagine his smile, with the corners of his eyes always slightly upturned.

"Yun Qing."

"Huh?" Xu Yunqing's breathing came over, like a feather gently scratching his heart.

"Go to the balcony." Tao Liyang heard himself say, "I want to see the moon."

Today is the sixteenth, and Tao Liyang realized it only when he stood on the balcony.

The moon on the fifteenth day should be round on the sixteenth day.

In the chilly air of late autumn, there was a vague fragrance of trees, whether it was a pine tree or something beside it, maybe there was still water vapor, but he couldn't tell.The sky is not completely dark, it is a little dark blue, a full moon hangs far away, surrounded by a very shallow halo, it is cold and abrupt in the starless sky.

The balcony door next door opened, and Xu Yunqing came out with two steaming glasses, and handed him a glass through the milky white railing, and looked up at the sky, "It's very round." His voice carried With a smile, "But why do I feel like this is something that I only did when I was in college."

"Did we watch the moon together when we were in college?" They just stood on their respective balconies, chatting with a distance of less than half a meter.

"It seems to be there, but I don't remember." Xu Yunqing thought for a while and said, the railing was not too high, he rested his elbows on it, and the shoulder blades on his back protruded like a butterfly.Tao Liyang can't remember if he had it before, but he just thinks it's good now.The cup in his palm was warm, and it looked extraordinarily warm in the autumn night. He lowered his head and smelled it, it was very light aroma.

"It's chamomile and bodhi leaves." Xu Yunqing explained, "Sleep aids, I think it works better than hot milk, can't you fall asleep?"

Tao Liyang took a sip: "You didn't fall asleep either."

"But I'm not as interested as you in reading Zhang Ailing in the middle of the night." Xu Yunqing joked, the corners of his eyes turned up as Tao Liyang imagined, "It's really time to go back to college."

Tao Liyang also laughed. They didn't really think much of Eileen Chang when they were studying, but "Love in a Fallen City" was rehearsed in a small theater. Tao Liyang changed the script, and Xu Yunqing played Fan Liuyuan.At that time, they often watched martial arts. Both of them especially liked Wang Dulu, but they watched movies more often. There was a small theater outside the school. It was said that it was written by a professor in the director department. You can watch it all day long, with all kinds of sources, and sometimes you fall asleep in the middle, and when you wake up, you have already switched from "Spring in a Small Town" to "Eight and a Half".

When Tao Liyang thought of this, he remembered that they really watched the moon together, in that old theater.

It was also vaguely autumn, when they were already good friends, and they always went in and out together without making a special appointment.

Not long after the start of school, I was quite free. Except for the small theater, the most I did was to watch movies in that theater. I took a thick notebook and took advantage of the gap between changing movies and turning on the lights to quickly jot down some performance skills and stories. Architecture...

One time when I saw the excitement, I decided to stay up all night. It's not like I haven't done this before.As a result, it was very unfortunate that day, and the power suddenly went out in the middle of the night.

There were not many people, and most of them were students from the Film Academy, so they didn't make much noise.After about ten minutes, a middle-aged man came out, turned on the emergency light, said that the circuit was burnt, and it would be repaired tomorrow, yawned and left.

"How to do it? Go out and find a hotel?" Some people in twos and threes discussed and started to leave the venue, Tao Liyang turned his head and asked Xu Yunqing.

"You have class early in the morning, don't you?" Xu Yunqing grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch. At four o'clock in the morning, "Isn't the hotel on the back street? It's troublesome in the past, or just stay here and eat at seven o'clock For breakfast, I will accompany you to class, and then go back to the dormitory to catch up on sleep."

This point is really embarrassing. "That's fine." Tao Liyang said, "But you don't have to accompany me to class in the morning. The teacher doesn't speak very well and doesn't have much to do with your major. You go back to bed early after dinner."

"I want to miss a class and you won't let me?" Xu Yunqing pouted noncommittally, and lazily handed over the notebook in his hand, "Put it in your schoolbag for me."

They decided to stay here for half the night, but they didn't feel sleepy for a while, so they chatted casually in a low voice, and they didn't feel bored.The emergency lights were turned off at some point, and in the dark theater, only the watery moonlight came in through a small skylight above the head.

"Is this the crescent moon?" While chatting, the two of them quieted down tacitly, and looked up at the moon in the sky.

"Switch up or down?" The seat was a bit narrow, and when Xu Yunqing spoke, his breath was like a light wind blowing from the side of his neck.

In fact, there were not many people left in the cinema at that time, and there were a few sporadic people who probably had the same idea as them.It's just that there are so many empty seats, but they never thought that they could sit apart and sit comfortably, and they always stick together.

"Shouldn't it be winding?" Tao Liyang thought for a while, "Isn't there a Mid-Autumn Festival holiday next week?"

"It seems to be." Xu Yunqing nodded, and the two of them continued chatting in the moonlight until it was almost dawn before falling asleep in a daze.Almost overslept, the agreed upon breakfast was naturally delayed, and the next day I stepped on the bell and ran into the classroom to sit down and couldn't help but giggle at him.

All this happened before Xu Yunqing's drunken night. At that time, Tao Liyang wishfully thought that there would not be too far a distance from his best friend to his lover. He wanted to find a suitable time to talk to Xu Yunqing. He can solve all kinds of problems, as long as Xu Yunqing is there.But he never thought that the problem would be Xu Yunqing himself. He didn't know that there would be 12 years like this in the future...

Some bird chirped outside, shattering the silence of the night.

Tao Liyang turned his head to look at Xu Yunqing next to him, and quietly looked at the moon in the distance. The moonlight shone on his face, half hidden and half visible, like a painting.Is this kind of moon, this kind of light, the same round as what the people in the book saw back then?

When they were younger, they didn't like to read love stories, and they thought why men would stick to these.But now he looks back and realizes that emotional matters, regardless of women and men, are always the same. Once he gets stuck, he starts to calculate. Is this person worth it?How much you need to pay yourself, measure and compare repeatedly.

Tao Liyang also cares, but his balance is easy to tilt. The only weight he needs on the other end is Xu Yunqing's willingness. He doesn't demand that love be equal. He has loved Xu Yunqing for 12 years and doesn't mind more. He can go to those who are not enough. Make up, it doesn't matter.

Tao Liyang's hand holding the cup wall tightened unconsciously, and the bodhi leaf floated up and down in the water.

"Yunqing." He called his name softly.When Xu Yunqing turned his head, Tao Liyang felt his heart stop at that moment, just like seeing him for the first time that year.

Xu Yunqing looked at him quietly, Tao Liyang took a light breath, and after making sure his voice wouldn't tremble, he finally asked the question: "Are you upset because of Wei Xiao?"

Xu Yunqing's eyelids moved, and he didn't speak for a long time, Tao Liyang tried to get some clues from his expression.But this time, there was no emotion on Xu Yunqing's face. He just lowered his head and took a sip of water. The moonlight made him look a little pale. After a long while, he said something wrong: "Wei Xiao...Wei Xiao Did nothing wrong."

The author says:

①: In Zhang Ailing's "Love in a Fallen City", the hotel where Fan Liuyuan and Bai Liusu stayed was called the Repulse Bay Hotel. One night in the middle of the journey, Fan Liuyuan called Liusu and asked her if she could see the moon from her window, and then said that she A wisteria flower was hung above the side window, blocking half of it.Maybe it's a rose, maybe not', so Tao Liyang said that the vines blocked the moon, Xu Yunqing joked with him and asked if he was staying at the Repulse Bay Hotel.Later, Tao Liyang thought that men and women are the same, and when he fell into a relationship, he began to calculate, and he continued this stalk. In "Love in a Fallen City", the two protagonists have a long period of guessing, comparing each other's feelings towards themselves. emotional state. (My own feeling when I read it may not be accurate, and I definitely don’t mean that everyone doesn’t know it. It’s just because I used it, so I must indicate it...humble...)