I'm weak, I installed [Transmigration Book]

The torrential rain outside the house was still there, and the clothes drying on the balcony were shaking from side to side, and the water marks on the window panes meandered and flowed down, blurring everything inside the house.

Different from Song Hanzhang's extreme gaze and words, the kiss he fell on Chun Leshui's lips was very gentle.

His lips were no longer as cold as they were when he just broke in from outside the house,? Gently,? With a little warmth,? Kissed Chunle Water almost devoutly,? As cautiously as treating a lost and recovered precious treasure.

In the several times of entanglement with Song Hanzhang,? This is the first time that Chun Leshui is treated so cherished by him.

He was a little dazed,? He didn't push Song Hanzhang away immediately.

Song Hanzhang's kiss hides all his fear and anxiety since Chun Leshui left. The hand caressing Chun Leshui's face, the kiss on his lips, and his and Chun Leshui's entangled breath are all revealing his fear at the moment.

He is not as strong as he shows, under his paranoia is all weakness and fear,? He is afraid that he will still be pushed away by Chun Leshui.

Song Hanzhang never talked about feelings with his lover before, because he had seen how his mother who was captured by love died under the love he cared for carefully, and he was afraid that he would repeat the same mistakes.

He saw that Chun Leshui had no bottom line because he liked it, and he even sneered at things like love.

So he only needs to obey the relationship, each takes what he needs,? He is always the one in control.

But when he really fell in love with Chun Leshui, lost Chun Leshui and found Chun Leshui again, the control between the two has long been out of his hands.

If Chun Leshui keeps pushing him away and rejecting him, Song Hanzhang doesn't know what he should do.

Chun Leshui used to love Song Gou Song and scold him all the time, but he didn't know that now he was really like a dog afraid of being abandoned by his master, actively holding the leash and wanting to hand it over to Chun Leshui.

Not only does he want Chun Leshui to hold him back, but he also wants Chun Leshui to fall in love with him again.

Song Hanzhang knew that he was selfish and greedy, but that's how he was. When he was downstairs, he felt that it was enough to just look at Chun Leshui from a distance. When he knocked on the door, he thought that as long as Chun Leshui was willing to open the door, it would be all right. Step by step, he hoped that Chun Leshui would not push him away, wondering if he still had even a little bit of compassion for him.

Human desires are like a bottomless pit, and they will always greedily ask for more.

So when Chun Leshui didn't reject him like he did at first, he couldn't help bringing the kiss with a bit of desire to touch him more, rubbing his soft and warm lips lightly, wanting to pry them open The dentition feels more of the breath of Chunle Shui.

But Song Hanzhang didn't dare. When facing Chun Leshui, he became a weak person, worried about gain and loss and timid and cautious, for fear that if he did something wrong, Chun Leshui would be angry.

Because the other party kept pressing his lips tightly and didn't give Song Hanzhang any response, and he didn't dare to push further, he pecked Chun Leshui's lips before gently backing away.

For half a minute, Chun Leshui didn't even change his eyes.

With the bright lights in the room, the indifference in those eyes made Song Hanzhang's heart twitch.

All the lingering emotions faded away, he couldn't help but raised his hand to cover Chun Leshui's eyes, and lightly tapped his forehead on the other's straight shoulder: "Don't look at me like that."

Even so, he did not let go of the hand that hugged Chun Leshui's waist.

Even if it is forcing the other party, or being disgusted by the other party, Song Hanzhang is not willing to let go of Chun Leshui.

Song Hanzhang's sleeves were wet, as was his hair, and Chun Leshui's loose short-sleeved pajamas were almost soaked by Song Hanzhang's body.

Through two layers of drenched thin clothes, Chun Leshui could feel Song Hanzhang's red flame-like body temperature.

The warm and domineering temperature is as unreasonable as he must break his peaceful life regardless of Chun Leshui's refusal.

"Song Hanzhang," Chun Leshui looked down at the person who buried his head on his shoulder, "Why can't you let me go?"

He said similar words twice. The last time was in Song Hanzhang's office. Although Chun Leshui was unwilling to admit his identity at that time, it was impossible for Song Hanzhang to understand the meaning of the words.

He replaced the refusal with silence at that time.

This time, Chun Leshui no longer had any concealment, and he clearly told Song Hanzhang that he didn't want to have too much entanglement with him.

Hearing that Song Hanzhang froze for a moment, but in the next second he hugged Chun Leshui even more tightly, so strong that he seemed to embed him into his body.

"Don't think about it." He said hoarsely.

Chun Leshui closed his eyes, he had been forced by Song Hanzhang to the point where he could not retreat, but he couldn't face his failure calmly.

Falling on the same person repeatedly can be really frustrating.

"Song Hanzhang, you shouldn't waste time on me, you are destined to not have me in your life, you can't force it..."

"That's not my life." Song Hanzhang looked up, and he stared at Chun Leshui, "The Song Hanzhang who was with Jiang Ming is not me either, I haven't experienced those things, you can't take the puppet written by the author as me He didn't know that there was someone else who gave the drug, but I knew; he didn't regret the harm he has done to you, but I did; he didn't fall in love with you, but Chun Leshui, I have fallen in love with you a long time ago gone."

Chun Leshui was stunned, and Song Hanzhang felt aggrieved: "He doesn't have you in his life, but I can't live without you in my life."

"How do you know this?"

"I dreamed it."

Chun Leshui stopped talking, Song Hanzhang was right, the Song Hanzhang in front of him was no longer the Song Hanzhang who hurt him all over his body.

But he couldn't easily accept this fact in order to persuade himself to accept Song Hanzhang.

For Song Hanzhang, he really did not experience what Chun Leshui experienced in the first life.

But for Chun Leshui, they are one person, and the scars are still there, which means that the past is real.

He needs time.

He opened the door, Song Hanzhang staggered by his push, stood at the door and looked at him eagerly.

Chun Leshui: "It's too late, you should go back first."

As he said that, he was about to take it to the door.

"Chun Le Shui!" Song Hanzhang instinctively stretched out his hand to block the security door that was about to close. He cried out in pain softly, and Chun Le Shui stopped closing the door completely.

As if he didn't feel the pain at all, he pushed open the door and squeezed into the room, his eyes burning, he said: "You can't let me bear your disappointment in him, it's not fair to me."

Chun Leshui's eyes fell, and his gaze fell from Song Hanzhang's face to his hand hanging by his side. The knuckles that were pressed by the anti-theft door were already red and swollen quickly.

Rao, who has always been able to endure pain, felt a little shocking when he looked at it.

Ten fingers connected to the heart, but Song Hanzhang only let out a soft cry when he was caught by the door at first.

Chun Leshui sighed inaudibly, did not respond to Song Hanzhang's words, dragged him into the bathroom and turned around, and at the same time told him: "Rinse your hands with cold water first."

"Are you sick?" He also seemed a little powerless to curse, "Go and block the anti-theft door, for fear of pinching your hand all the time, aren't you?"

He opened the refrigerator and took out the ice pack. Seeing that Song Hanzhang was still standing in front of the sink, he felt a little impatient: "What are you doing standing there? If you don't want to touch your hands, go out."

Song Hanzhang saw that he didn't move, and Chun Leshui "tsk", turned on the tap, and put his hand under the water column.

The water column was cold, washing Song Hanzhang's fingertips, and in just a short while, his nail bed had already started to turn black.

"Wash it yourself." Chun Leshui let go of her hand, pulled a clean towel from the towel rack, wrapped it in an ice pack and handed it to him.

Song Hanzhang glanced at the ice pack handed to him, then raised his eyes to Chunle Shui, keeping his hand under the faucet unchanged.

Chun Leshui has been worn out by him, without saying a word, even turned off the water with a bit of anger, grabbed his hand and applied the ice pack to Song Hanzhang's hand.

Chun Leshui's movements were a bit rough. When the ice pack was applied, Song Hanzhang was obviously in pain, and his hands shook, but he didn't make a sound or take his hands away.

If he didn't say a word, Chun Leshui pretended not to know that he was very irritable now, a small part was angry with Song Hanzhang, and the bigger part was angry with himself.

I am angry that I am soft-hearted, and I am angry that I have no principles.

Bian Mu had already got into the Chunle water room and lay down at the foot of his bed to sleep, the bathroom was very quiet, and the house was also quiet.

Song Hanzhang looked at Chun Leshui, who was sulking alone. The latter lowered his head to apply the wound on his hand, lowered his eyes, his thick eyelashes revealed a small shadow under his eyes, and his thin lips were tightly pursed, looking a bit childish. cute.He is concerned about himself.

This recognition made Song Hanzhang's heart beat slightly faster.

He's not quite as repulsive of himself as he appears to be.

"Chun Leshui." Song Hanzhang whispered, and Chun Leshui raised his head.

Song Hanzhang leaned over to kiss him.

Chun Leshui turned his head to avoid the kiss, and Song Hanzhang's soft lips fell to the side of his face. Although the latter didn't have much expression on his face, there was still a little disappointment in his eyes.

Chun Leshui was even more annoyed, so she put the ice pack into Song Hanzhang's hand and let him apply it himself.

As early as the time when his grandfather died, he had experienced Song Hanzhang's clinginess, and his actions just now undoubtedly gave the other party a reason to push forward.

It was he who pampered the other party step by step, which caused today's situation.

Chun Leshui took two steps back and leaned against the wall, pinching the space between her brows tiredly and annoyed.

"Song Hanzhang, I can't trust you, you know?" He found a reason for himself to reject Song Hanzhang, "I only broke out of the life I was arranged by changing my body, how can you let me believe that you can Take control of your own destiny, believe in your so-called love, and believe that you will remain faithful to me?"

Song Hanzhang was silent for a moment: "Do you remember the time I... took Lin Xi home?"

As he spoke, he observed Chun Leshui's expression, but because Chun Leshui lowered his head halfway, he couldn't see his expression, so he paused, and continued: "I had a concussion when I fell, and I was from From that time on, I began to hear what was in your heart.”

Chun Leshui paused.

Song Hanzhang said: "From the first day I could hear your voice, I am no longer the Song Hanzhang described by the author."

From the moment Song Hanzhang heard his voice, the so-called gears of fate stopped, and from that moment on, the plot began to deviate from the original track a little bit.

"What about you now?"

He said half a sentence, but Song Hanzhang still knew what Chun Leshui was asking, he shook his head and said, "I can't hear it anymore, probably because you are dead."

When he mentioned the word death, his whole body fell down.

The two people's cognition in this regard is figured out. Although Chun Leshui is still alive, he has definitely died.

For Chun Leshui it was twice, for Song Hanzhang it was once.

"I'm not the me you thought, and you're not the you you used to be." Song Hanzhang looked straight at him, without hiding the straightforward emotion in his eyes.

Chun Leshui was almost convinced by him.

"Give me some time." Even though Chun Leshui found all kinds of reasons for himself, it was just that he couldn't calmly accept himself who had made concessions to Song Hanzhang long ago.

But up to this point, he could no longer find any reason to refuse.

"Take the ice pack back." Chun Leshui turned around to find him an umbrella, "I won't send you off when it rains heavily."

He had only taken two steps when Song Hanzhang grabbed his arm.

The ice-packed fingertips were as cool as ice cubes, and when they stuck to Chun Leshui's exposed forearm, his skin was warm, both of them were startled, and Song Hanzhang let go as if he had been scalded.

But both of his hands were icy, he hesitated for less than a second, and Song Hanzhang pressed his loosened five fingers back.

"I don't want to go," Song Hanzhang was a little nervous, "Can I stay?"

He was afraid that once he left, everything would go back to the original point.

After speaking, he turned to the side and sneezed.

The clothes on his body no longer dripped water, and were sticking to his body wetly from the heat.

Chun Leshui stared at him for a while, then turned her head helplessly: "I'll go find you a suit, you should take a shower first."

Song Hanzhang's height has not changed, but Chun Leshui is now a young man who has just left his youth and is still in the stage of growing his body. In addition, the diet in country X is mainly high in calcium and protein, and he is already a few centimeters taller than Song Hanzhang , but because he doesn't have big muscles, there is no difference in the size of the clothes between the two.

Chun Leshui casually dug out a clean set of T-shirt and shorts from the closet, walked a few steps towards the door, then returned, opened the drawer, took a pair of underwear and handed them to Song Hanzhang.

"New underwear." Chun Leshui exited the bathroom after speaking and helped Song Hanzhang close the door by the way.

Song Hanzhang stood there in a daze, staring down at the clothes in his hand for a long time, buried his head in it and took two deep breaths, except for the fragrance of laundry detergent, there was no so-called smell of Chunle water.

When he raised his head, there were two shallow watermarks on his clothes, and Song Hanzhang's eyes were a little wet, but the corners of his lips, which had never been curved, were slightly upturned.

This may be the only time he felt happy in the three years since Chun Leshui left.

Chun Leshui's clothes were just right for Song Hanzhang. He walked out of the bathroom and had a face-to-face meeting with Chun Leshui who had just come out of the study. With loose short sleeves on his body, he looked several years younger than usual.

Even the temperament seems to have become a lot softer.

The last time I saw him dressed so casually was a long, long time ago when he was still in high school.

Song Hanzhang, who went to college, gradually developed in the direction of Sao Bao.

Chun Leshui quickly regained consciousness, stopped Song Hanzhang who followed him step by step to the door of the room: "You sleep in the study, I have already made the bed for you."

Song Hanzhang didn't pester him endlessly, he stopped obediently after listening, and said to Chun Leshui: "Good night."

Chun Leshui said "um", but didn't say good night, and closed the door directly.

Bian Mu raised his head when he heard the movement, and quickly closed his eyes again.

Chun Leshui threw herself on the bed, and the human cubs in the crib next to her were still sleeping soundly, but Chun Leshui didn't feel sleepy at all while lying down.

He tossed and turned, closed his eyes and opened them, it was Song Hanzhang.

He touched the phone by the bedside, unlocked it, and it was the chat page with Chu Lin. The word suicide jumped into his eyes almost as soon as the screen was unlocked. He was shocked, locked the phone again, and left it behind. Sitting up in the dark, I opened the curtains and looked at the rain outside the window in a daze.

I don't know how long I sat like this, but Chun Leshui was brought back to his thoughts by Alice's humming.

Simply Chun Leshui couldn't fall asleep either, so he hugged Alice who woke up and watched the rain for a while, then got out of bed and prepared to make milk powder for her.

Bian Mu also stood up unsteadily, followed him out sleepily.

After opening the door, Chun Leshui's footsteps stopped, and Bian Mu let out a soft cry, waking up Song Hanzhang who was sleeping against the wall outside the door.

The appearance of him sitting on the ground wrapped in a quilt and looking up at Chun Leshui from the bottom, suddenly overlapped with a certain picture in Chun Leshui's memory.

One night after his grandfather passed away, he also squatted outside the water gate of Chunle like this, trying to gain some peace of mind from him.

He is like an insecure puppy, sticky and sticky, he must stick to you and lean on you to confirm your existence.

Song Hanzhang also stood up silently like last time, unwilling to leave to go to the study room which is some distance away from Chun Leshui's room, and didn't know what to say to explain his behavior, so he stood silently and looked at Chun Leshui relatively.

He was putting pressure on Chun Leshui in another way, but Chun Leshui had nothing to do with the poor man.

The two confronted each other silently for a long time, and in the end Chun Leshui took another step back, without saying a word, he walked past Song Hanzhang to the kitchen, but the door behind him was not closed.

When he went back with the bottle, Song Hanzhang was no longer outside the door.

Alice's babbling sound came from the room, and Song Hanzhang stood by the bed, a little at a loss for the human cub who stretched out his hand to hold him.

Alice had already stood up and threw herself on him, but he didn't dare to put his hands on Alice's body at all. He had never been in contact with such a soft, delicate and fragile creature as a baby, and he always felt that if he was not careful, he would hurt each other. Injuried.

Turning his head to look at Chun Leshui, his eyes were clearly bewildered and asking for help, which didn't match his serious and cold face at all.

"She likes you," Chun Leshui sat on the edge of the bed, grabbed Alice under the armpit and dragged her away from Song Hanzhang, "She is showing love to you."

His movements were not particularly cautious and gentle, which made Song Hanzhang a little dazed.

After a while he asked, "Then what should I do?"

"Pick her up, or tease her." Chun Leshui made a demonstration, "Try?"

Song Hanzhang glanced at him, Chun Leshui said: "It's not that fragile."

He pressed Alice's chest with one hand, supported Alice's feet with the other hand, and handed it in the direction of Song Hanzhang.Alice smiled so hard that she couldn't see her teeth. There were a few small milky white teeth under her pink gums, and she stretched out her hand to grab Song Hanzhang's body.

Song Hanzhang took a step back in fear, not daring to take it.

He reacted a little playfully, as if Alice was some kind of scourge, Chun Leshui became playful for a moment, and chased after Alice to be stuffed into his arms.

The slight smile on his face made Song Hanzhang stunned, and instinctively passed Alice, who was lashing out at him, and kissed Chun Leshui.

Chun Leshui was also stunned by the superficial touch of the water.

Only the ignorant human cub caught between the two had already grabbed Song Hanzhang's clothes and hung half of his body on Song Hanzhang's body.

Her movements brought them back to their senses, Song Hanzhang hugged her carefully, Chun Leshui took a step back: "Just hug her like this."

He missed the best time, and he couldn't say anything to Song Hanzhang about that sudden kiss.

After all, he was the one who put the opponent into his territory.

He wiped his mouth, comforting himself as if he had been bitten by a mosquito, and took the milk bottle beside the bed and stuffed it to Alice.

Before finishing a bottle of milk, Alice fell asleep with the pacifier in her mouth.

Chun Leshui put her into the stroller, threw a quilt from the closet and threw it to Song Hanzhang, saying: "Do not close the door, you can sleep on the floor, on the sofa or in the study, it's up to you."

After finishing speaking, he turned off the light, shook off the quilt and lay down with his back to Song Hanzhang.

The rain outside the house did not know when it had subsided, but it was still pattering. Chun Leshui heard Bian Mu rattling around in the house, heard Song Hanzhang shaking off the quilt and spreading it on the floor, and heard a sound too soft to be heard. Good night again.

This is Song Hanzhang's second good night tonight, but Chun Leshui still hasn't responded.

He felt Song Hanzhang's gaze focused on him like a substance. From the moment he opened the door, Chun Leshui had made too many concessions tonight. He forced himself not to turn over, not to open his eyes and look at Song Hanzhang , and don't listen to the voice in my heart telling him how Song Hanzhang has been in the past few years.

He forced himself to fall asleep, and gradually he became unconscious, and he really fell asleep.

But Chun Leshui didn't sleep for a long time, probably because the news of Song Hanzhang's suicide gave him too much shock. After falling asleep, he dreamed that Song Hanzhang swallowed sleeping pills, then dreamed that Song Hanzhang cut his wrists, and then dreamed that he was poisoned by gas .

Not only did he not sleep well, but Chun Leshui was even more tired when he woke up.

It was as if he was the one who was immersed in gloom in his dream and died in despair.

Even though she was hurt by Song Hanzhang, Chun Leshui never thought of ending her life when she was in pain and despair.

He opened his eyes, the rain was still falling, and the sky was gray and not completely bright.

Chun Leshui stared at the ceiling to ease his boredom, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Song Hanzhang lying beside his pillow.

He was obviously asleep, with his face pressed against his right elbow. The fingernail bed that was pressed by the security door last night was completely congested and purple. The fingertips were not swollen, but there were also slight traces of blood on the joints.

And his other hand rested lightly on Chun Leshui's palm.

He didn't pay much attention last night, and now Chun Leshui realized that he had never taken off the wrist watch on his left hand. He wore it after taking a shower, and didn't even take it off when he was sleeping.

Chun Leshui vaguely knew what this might mean.

He sat up from the bed, and his movements were very light, which did not wake Song Hanzhang up.

The two people in the room sat on their stomachs, as if they were still. Chun Leshui focused his eyes on the watch, stared at it for a long time, then slowly raised his hand, and put the expensive watch Take it off Song Hanzhang's wrist.

It was a shocking scar that almost ran through the entire inner side of Song Hanzhang's wrist. The scar was slightly protruding, and there were traces of stitches beside it, which showed how ruthless he was.

At that moment, he probably really didn't want to live anymore.

This realization made Chun Leshui's breathing tight, and he felt that he was about to be pulled back into the dark seabed by Song Hanzhang.

He sat motionless until he turned his head as if being pulled by something, and met Song Hanzhang's newly opened eyes.

"I'm sorry." He heard Song Hanzhang say.

Chun Leshui frowned slightly: "Why are you apologizing?"

Song Hanzhang was silent for a moment before opening his mouth: "Because you look sad... Did I do something wrong again?" He scanned the scar on his wrist. Panicked, he lowered his head and buckled the watch back, subconsciously apologizing.

"Does it hurt?" Chun Leshui asked.

Song Hanzhang paused and shook his head.

It didn't hurt, at least compared to the pain he felt as if his heart was pinched and he couldn't breathe, this wound didn't bring him too much feeling.

He didn't even remember clearly how he got into the bathtub.

He just felt uncomfortable for Chun Leshui, felt pain for him silently chasing behind him but ended up with such an ending, and felt desperate for him lying alone on the hospital bed to meet death.

The fact that he was thinking about himself until his death made Song Hanzhang feel so heartbroken that he was almost suffocated. He would always owe Chun Leshui an apology.

"I'm sorry." Song Hanzhang raised his eyes, not knowing how many times he said these three words to Chun Leshui.

Chun Leshui looked into his eyes, leaned over and kissed him amidst the pattering rain.

It was a gentle kiss without any desire.

"Good morning." Chun Leshui said.

The author has something to say: rounding...sorry!Riwan failed and I was wrong!I will try again tomorrow!

感谢在2021-08-29?23:43:29~2021-08-31?23:10:54期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who cast mines: ??????? 2; ggadszd? 1;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: Feng Xiao Yi Mo°? 120 bottles; Jinzhe? 20 bottles; Berry Bobo? 5 bottles; ??????? 1 bottle;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!