I'm weak, I installed [Transmigration Book]

Chun Leshui had a dream. Since the beginning of his time travel, he has been under the guidance of the system, viewing the past of Jian Shou and Song Hanzhang from a third-person perspective.

He couldn't argue with it, except for that face, he couldn't feel any charm of Song Hanzhang's personality, and he couldn't understand why Jian Shou put himself in such a humble situation and couldn't let go.

Until he experienced their past from a painful first perspective in his dream.

Chun Leshui and his father depended on each other since he was a child. After his father died in an accident, he was taken home by Song Shiqing. When they met for the first time, Song Hanzhang was standing in the yard watering the flowers. The sun fell on his loose white shirt. He was in Song Shiqing's In the introduction, he stretched out his hand to Chun Leshui with a calm expression, but he did not reject his coming.

Leaving the familiar environment and coming to Song's house alone, Chun Leshui was a little nervous about Song Hanzhang, who seemed difficult to get along with.

Song Hanzhang said: "This will be your home from now on."

The generous and dry palm was close to his palm. Although Song Hanzhang, who was bathed in the sun, looked cold, it still made Chun Le Shui's heart skip a beat.

But he didn't dare to respond well, Song Hanzhang had already let go of his hand and turned around to support Song Shiqing, his expression became more serious when talking to Song Shiqing, Chun Leshui stared blankly, unable to explain what kind of strange feeling he had in his heart.

Probably because he wanted to be treated as tenderly as he did.

Song Hanzhang is three years older than Chun Leshui, but for some reason he is only one year older than Chun Leshui. On the first day of transferring to another school, Chun Leshui became the object of discussion among his classmates because of his status as the adopted son of the Song family.In a rich family, "adopted son" is just a fig leaf for many illegitimate children that everyone knows well, and those who don't know the truth can guess anything.

It was Song Hanzhang who came to look for him at the door of the class, glanced lightly at the students in their class who were whispering together in groups of threes and twos, casually dropped a sentence and left after school.

But his appearance stopped others from criticizing him.

During the years when Song's parents grew up, Song Hanzhang did not show too close to Chun Leshui. He seemed to be naturally indifferent, and he didn't have much to say at home. The most frequently asked question was "Where is Grandpa?"

He never took the initiative to express concern for Chun Leshui, nor did he ask him if he was used to living here. He just casually mentioned it when Song Shiqing and Xu Qing were discussing which room to vacate for Chun Leshui as a dance studio. In the empty room on the first floor, Jian Wen just slapped his hand away when Jian Wen was teasing him to tell Jian Wen not to hit Chun Leshui, or he just sent a text message to let him know before going home with him.

So gradually, Chun Leshui found that he could no longer take his eyes off Song Hanzhang.

They have always maintained a distance that is not too close, but relatively harmonious.

Until that night, the relationship between the two broke down to an irretrievable point, Song Hanzhang no longer liked him, and spoke harsh words to each other with cold eyes.

Chun Leshui wanted to explain, but he didn't know what was going on. All his feelings for Song Hanzhang in his diary were exposed to the sun.

Song Hanzhang's eyes were like the icy cold wind in the twelfth lunar month of winter, piercing Chun Le Shui with pain.

But they got married anyway. Chun Leshui married Song Hanzhang with anticipation and anxiety. He thought that Song Hanzhang, who was willing to marry, would at least give him a chance to explain, but on the wedding night, before he could fully speak, Song Hanzhang was cold Sheng asked if this was what he wanted, while pressing him on the bed.

Compared with Song Hanzhang's eager but gentle actions on the night when he was drugged, Chun Leshui felt nothing but pain that night. His body ached and his heart ached. He was woken up by the dazzling sunlight the next day. Except for his clothes, there was no sign of Song Hanzhang in the empty room.

Without even giving Chun Leshui a chance to prove his innocence, he launched revenge against him for dragging himself into the abyss.

Facing Song Shiqing's inquiry, Chun Leshui couldn't say anything bad about Song Hanzhang, he could understand Song Hanzhang, he was not such a person, he treated himself like this only because he misunderstood himself.

As long as the misunderstanding can be resolved, it will be fine.

But Song Hanzhang did not return home for a long time, and Chun Leshui had no chance.

He can only watch the lovers around Song Hanzhang keep covering up for him in front of his grandfather. He sometimes wonders why he has no bottom line, but every time he is sad, he can think of Song Hanzhang stretching out to him in the sun. hand.

It's not in his nature.

The voice in Chun Leshui's heart always reminded him like this.

Until he saw another person beside Song Hanzhang, who was as bright as a sunflower.He saw the two of them smiling at each other together, saw Song Hanzhang smiling comfortably because of a message or phone call from the other party, and saw Song Hanzhang rubbing the top of the other party's head with a smile.

On the day of Song Nanfeng's death, Song Hanzhang was in a low mood. Chun Leshui consciously lowered his sense of existence so as not to annoy him, but he accidentally heard him calling someone to ask him to go somewhere with him. The light is too stingy to stay on him.

The smiles on Song Hanzhang's face increased, and even Song Shiqing felt that he had become cheerful. Chun Leshui realized that Song Hanzhang fell in love with that boy who looked like a sunflower.

He changed little by little because of the other party.

Even if he calmly told Chun Leshui about the past, he didn't want to get entangled anymore, and only hoped that Chun Leshui could divorce him.

He listened to Song Hanzhang's words without any emotion, and wanted to explain again, but Song Hanzhang told him not to mention it.

At that time, Chun Leshui was standing on the street with people coming and going, with the scorching sun above his head, the buzzing of cicadas in his ears, the steam on the road was steaming, and the passers-by were sweating profusely, but his whole body was cold.

Behind him was a hospital. Chun Leshui had just come out of it, and had just been diagnosed with acute leukemia before receiving a call from Song Hanzhang.

The doctor said that his condition had reached a serious stage and he needed immediate treatment. Chun Leshui didn’t even have time to go to divorce with Song Hanzhang. The pain from chemotherapy made him want to die, but he didn’t want to die. He wanted to wait for his condition to stabilize Come down and find some time to have a good chat with Song Hanzhang. Even if you divorce, even if Song Hanzhang will never fall in love with him, he doesn't want to be misunderstood forever.

He would always hear other patients or family members whispering about him, pity him, saying that there is no one to take care of and accompany him around such a serious illness.

Of course Chun Leshui also wants to have one, but he has no family or friends, and there is only Song Hanzhang who doesn't like him very much in the world.

Because of the delay in the divorce, Song Hanzhang's attitude towards him became even worse, and he even sneered when Chun Leshui bluntly said that he had leukemia.

He said, Chun Leshui, are you cheap? In order not to get a divorce, this kind of excuse can also be used.

Ever since Chun Leshui "drugged" him, he could no longer trust him.

After Chun Leshui hung up the phone, he sat on the bench, covered his face in some collapse, a small ball rolled to his feet, the little girl called her brother timidly, and asked him if he was sick.

"Sorry, I might be a little nosy." Another male voice rang in his ears, and a pack of facial tissues was handed to Chun Leshui. He looked up and saw a bright smiling face, "Do you want to wipe your face?"

It was the boy who changed Song Hanzhang.

Before Chun Leshui could reply, his phone rang, and Chun Leshui saw at a glance that the caller was Song Hanzhang.

The boy stuffed the tissue into Chun Leshui's hands, and was playing with the little girl while throwing a small ball, while answering the phone.

The paper towel was pinched and deformed by Chun Leshui, and he heard Song Hanzhang say that he would come to him.He got up in a panic, his eyes were dizzy, the boy hurriedly hung up the phone to support him, and asked him if he wanted to go back to the ward and sent him back.

"It's okay, I'll just go back by myself." Chun Leshui's voice choked up, he didn't even know how he said the following words, "Isn't your boyfriend coming to see you?"

The boy was a little surprised when he heard the words, and explained casually with a smile: "Ordinary friends."

His smile almost dazzled Chun Leshui's eyes, the boy insisted on sending him back to the ward regardless of his objection, and then Chun Leshui stood by the window and saw Song Hanzhang rushing downstairs, he seemed to think that the other party was a student What is the disease? The look on Chun Leshui's face is worry and tension that Chun Leshui has never seen before.

If he looked up upstairs, he would find the pale Chun Leshui, but Song Hanzhang didn't, all his eyes were focused on the boy.

Chun Leshui watched them go further and further, and suddenly coughed and spit out a mouthful of blood. He squatted down covering his throat, coughing and crying uncontrollably.

Chun Leshui is very envious of that boy, he loves to laugh and is so cheerful, he must have many friends and many people love him.

He suddenly found that his short life was full of regrets, because he was obsessed with Song Hanzhang, so he had nothing.

If, Chun Leshui thought, if there was a next life, he hoped that he would not meet Song Hanzhang again, if life could be repeated, he hoped that he would not fall in love with Song Hanzhang.

He also wants to be a free and easy person.

"Xiaochun?"

"Le Shui?"

A faint cry sounded in his ears, accompanied by the gentle and regular sound of the instrument, Chun Leshui opened his eyes, his eyes turned around the faces of all the people beside the bed, and finally fell on the outermost side standing on the wall On the face of Song Hanzhang who dared not step forward.

Song Hanzhang's face was haggard and embarrassed, with blue stubble on his cheeks and chin, his eyes were bloodshot, and he stared at Chun Leshui with red eye sockets.

The two looked at each other, but neither spoke.

The moment Chun Leshui saw Song Hanzhang, his breath trembled involuntarily. He moved his eyes and instinctively sought comfort from Chu Lin.

Hearing his concern repeatedly, Chun Leshui held back her mouth and called Senior Brother.

He seemed to have been greatly wronged, tears kept rolling out of his eyes, he stretched out his arms to hug Chu Lin's neck, and called his senior brother repeatedly while crying.

All Chu Lin's words were stuck in his throat, his nose was a little sore, he leaned over and let him hold him, and kept comforting him: "I'm here, don't be afraid."

Chun Leshui cried even more sadly: "Brother."

He was still immersed in the emotions of despair, pain and regret in the dream, as if the person who received treatment alone, was pitied by others, and always looked at Song Hanzhang's back was himself.

No, that's him.

The person who can never wait for Song Hanzhang to turn back, the person who secretly watches Song Hanzhang, is him.

After he died, he was bound to the system, and learned the rules of the world they lived in from the system. His painful and short life was just a two-sentence setting that the author made lightly when shaping the role of Song Hanzhang.

The system gave him two choices that could change his fate, let Song Hanzhang fall in love with him, and start a new life from then on; replay the plot, and get a new start after the end.

Even though Chun Leshui knows that he is just a supporting role in a novel, to him all his experiences are real, his love for Song Hanzhang is also real, he is a real person, he has no way of knowing this Immediately, his temperament changed drastically, and he dismissed Song Hanzhang.

He didn't want to do it all over again, because it was destined to repeat the same mistakes.

He knew he couldn't let Song Hanzhang go.

So Chun Leshui asked the system to clear his memory for him, and then the system told Chun Leshui the story of Jian Shou and Song Hanzhang from a third-party perspective to Chun Leshui, who was like a blank sheet of paper after the memory was cleared.

So Chun Leshui has no past and is not curious about the past, because it was not a good memory. He followed the instinct in his heart and became a cheerful and straightforward person who loves to laugh.

He felt care and warmth from Chu Lin that he had never felt before, so he pestered Chu Lin to learn more from him.

He will no longer fall in love with Song Hanzhang, so his vision has broadened a lot, he feels the value of his friends, he regains his favorite dance, no longer cautious because of being dependent on others, but realizes the long-lost family affection.

If Chun Leshui's life is a dance drama in the dark, Song Hanzhang stood in the only beam of light that he chased on the stage before, then after completely abandoning the past and starting over again, compared with Song Hanzhang's single beam of light , there is light everywhere under the stage.

The last bit of nostalgia for Song Hanzhang in the depths of the soul disappeared after Chun Leshui thoroughly figured it out with Song Hanzhang from a third-party perspective.

In theory, it is, but the person in the dream is really sad, the gray emotion covering his heart is like a pair of invisible hands holding his heart tightly, making him unable to breathe.

Even seeing Song Hanzhang's face made him feel heartbroken.

He could only use all his strength to hug Chu Lin, trying to feel the warmth from him that he never had in his dream.

"Xiao Chun, don't be afraid, the bone marrow bank is already matching you, and we will notify you as soon as there is a suitable one." Chu Lin helped him wipe away the tears on his face, "Just cooperate with the treatment, and you will be fine." , okay?"

Although his voice was very soft in the last two words of the question, it was not difficult to hear the trembling in it.

Chu Lin already knew from Jiang Buyan what Chun Leshui was unwilling to treat: "Why give up, it's not like there is no chance at all."

"Senior Brother..." Seeing the pain in his eyes, Chun Leshui couldn't say anything except calling him.

"Xiao Chun, do you still remember that we lost the bet we made before?" Chu Lin asked him.

During Shan Gui’s retest, Chun Leshui and Chu Lin bet each other that the other party would get the role, and the loser had to agree to the winner. Chu Lin lost the role and won the bet, but at that time he said so casually, Chun Leshui didn't really make any promises.

Chun Leshui probably guessed what he wanted to say, and in the blink of an eye, tears rolled down from the corners of his eyes, and disappeared into his hair along the side of his face.

"Brother, I'm sorry."

"I haven't said anything yet?" Chu Lin gently wiped the corners of his eyes.

His hands were shaking a little, Chun Leshui was very sad: "I'm sorry."

He now clearly knows that there will be no more so-called second-week episodes, because this is the second time he has experienced them, and after the end, he can 100% get out of this identity and get a new life.

This also means that he may not have the chance to meet Chu Lin again.

The price for his freedom is that Chu Lin will face the pain of losing his friend.

Chun Leshui felt that he was so selfish and cruel, but even so he would not change his decision.

"Do you still remember the A in the novel we talked about before?" Chun Leshui said softly, "You said that if you were him, you would make your own choice and choose what you want most, so I I will stick to my choice."

[Only after finishing this ending, can I obtain the freedom I have always dreamed of. 】

After he took his eyes away from Song Hanzhang's face, he never looked at Song Hanzhang again.

Everyone gathered around Chunle's water bed, caring about him and persuading him.

Only Song Hanzhang stood far away from the crowd, he looked at Chun Leshui for a moment, but he never dared to step forward.

He is afraid.

He was afraid that before he could hold Chun Leshui's hand, that bony hand would fall straight from the sky.

He is afraid that important people will leave him again.

It seems that as long as he doesn't get close, all the things that scare him won't happen.

Even if he heard that Chun Leshui was about to give up treatment, even though he heard that Chun Leshui was looking forward to the arrival of death.

So he was like a statue, standing motionless by the wall, not even daring to blink, because he was afraid that if he blinked, Chun Leshui on the bed would close his eyes again.

The clothes on his body were still covered with blood, he was so weak that his face and lips were white, and he kept crying, making Song Hanzhang feel as if he had made some mistake, as if he had done something bad to hurt Chun. Le Shui made him so sad.

Song Hanzhang didn't know why he and Chun Leshui were the only two left in the ward at the end. He mustered up a lot of courage to walk to the bedside, and every step seemed to be chasing a heavy weight.

Chun Leshui's chest was still heaving, he was still breathing, he was still alive.

As if sensing his presence or sight, Chun Leshui slowly opened his eyes, his slender eyelashes drew an arc in the air, and the ink-like black eyes were the only color on his face other than white.

He watched as Song Hanzhang didn't make a sound, the water mist formed on the breathing mask blocked the lower half of his face.

He didn't even have the energy to think about something in his heart, so he opened his eyes and stared at Song Hanzhang quietly.

Song Hanzhang lowered his eyes, but also did not speak.

Intermittent sobbing came from outside the ward door, someone was crying, but who was crying was completely out of the scope of the two people in the room.

After a long time, Chun Leshui said: "I'm a little sleepy, go out if you have nothing to say."

He said he wanted to close his eyes, Song Hanzhang's vocal cords were hoarse as if they had been ground on rough sand: "Don't sleep."

Chun Leshui opened his eyes again, he calmed down, and now facing Song Hanzhang also calmed down: "Your request is a bit too much for the patient."

The two looked at each other, and Song Hanzhang said, "Don't sleep."

Then he heard Chun Leshui's heart was very light, and he let out a long sigh.

【Hey……】

Song Hanzhang's appearance is completely opposite to that in the dream, Chun Leshui can't tell how he feels, but he just feels pitiful.

He is a person who is easy to soften his heart.

"What are you going to say?" he asked softly.

Song Hanzhang was quiet for a long time before he said, "Are you Chunle Shui?"

Chun Leshui seemed to hear some funny question, and grinned: "Who am I?"

"Then yours..." Song Hanzhang paused on Chun Leshui's tired expression before asking, "...What's the ending?"

Chun Leshui slightly opened his eyes.

"I can hear..." Song Hanzhang said, "What is in your heart. I know that we are all characters in the book. You didn't really love me before. You approached me because you had a mission. Now you have completed the mission. Is it? What's your ending after you're done?"

Chun Leshui looked at Song Hanzhang for a moment: "Aren't you surprised?"

Song Hanzhang shook his head: "We are all real."

"My ending...can't you see it now?"

Song Hanzhang fell into a long silence again.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I don't know why I want to apologize, but I think I did a lot wrong."

"It's okay, it's over, we will all have a new life."

Chun Leshui closed his eyes again, the surroundings were quiet, his closed eyes overlapped with the image of him dying in his arms in the dream.

Song Hanzhang choked for breath: "Chun Le Shui."

"Not dead yet..." Chun Leshui said wearily, "I really want to rest."

"I like you."

Hearing these words suddenly, Chun Leshui, who was on the verge of death, forcibly pulled himself out of his gradually chaotic consciousness, and opened his eyes to look at Song Hanzhang.

Song Hanzhang still stood by the bed and looked down at him, unchanged.

This scene is probably what he dreamed of in his dream, to be able to see Song Hanzhang again before he died, although there is a big difference between the Song Hanzhang in front of him and the Song Hanzhang in his dream.

Seeing his pained appearance, Chun Leshui believed his words inexplicably.

The farewell I dreamed of once or in my previous life, I didn't even feel a little bit in my heart, I just felt that Song Hanzhang was a little pitiful.

He raised his hand and Song Hanzhang held it.

Chun Leshui felt it carefully, it was still the warm and dry palm when he first saw it.

Chun Leshui smiled, and said in relief: "But I don't like you anymore."

【Goodbye, Song Hanzhang. 】

Chun Leshui's funeral took place on another rainy day.

Compared with the dense drizzle in spring, the rain in summer comes quickly and violently, crackling on the umbrella surface like natural firecrackers.

Not many people attended his funeral, they were all close to him, and no one cried because Chun Leshui said in his will that he hoped everyone could smile at his funeral. Death is something he waited for. He is very happy for a long time, and I hope everyone can be happy for him too.

Because of his unreasonable request, even if everyone's eyes were suffocated, they would just turn their backs and wipe away their tears.

Everyone couldn't laugh, so they had to try not to cry.

He also asked everyone not to stay in front of his tombstone for a long time, because the dead have become a thing of the past, and being immersed in sorrow is not conducive to an early start to a new life.

In short, he had arranged his funeral clearly and clearly.

Everyone came and left silently, and finally only Song Hanzhang stood in front of the tombstone.

He was dressed in black, didn't speak, and didn't hold an umbrella, just stood, letting the rain fall on his face, soaking his clothes.

"Song Hanzhang, didn't I tell you not to stay in front of my tombstone for a long time?"

Song Hanzhang suddenly looked sideways, and there was nothing around him except the rustling rain curtain.

It was already dark, and the roadside street lights came on one after another, Song Hanzhang turned and left.

Uncle Xu and Aunt Xu went home one step earlier. When Song Hanzhang came back, the lights were still on at home. He pushed open the courtyard door, and Chun Leshui, who was sitting on the steps, turned around and said Happy New Year to him.

In the blink of an eye, the Spring Festival couplets by the door are still there, as are the blessings on the door, but the people who wrote the couplets and those who posted them are gone.

When he entered the house, Uncle Xu came out of the room when he heard the movement. Facing the departure of Song Shiqing and Chun Leshui one after another, he couldn't bear it anymore, his face was tired, and he looked ten years older.

"Did I disturb you?" Song Hanzhang took off his dripping jacket and took the towel from Uncle Xu.

Uncle Xu sighed, shook his head and said no.

The room was deserted, and Aunt Xu wasn't even in the mood to prepare dinner, so she locked herself in her room as soon as she got home.

She is the one who can't accept Chun Leshui's departure the most, she cries every day and every night.

Uncle Xu worried about the drenched Song Hanzhang: "Go upstairs and take a shower."

"Okay." Song Hanzhang said, "Go and rest."

He was as calm as the last time Song Shiqing passed away, but last time Uncle Xu knew what he was holding back in his heart, but this time he didn't know what he was thinking.

He looked at Song Hanzhang's back, and finally said nothing, turned and went back to the room.

Song Hanzhang didn't go back to his room, he opened the door of Chun Leshui's room, curled up and lay down under the quilt without even taking off his wet shirt and trousers.

It seemed that the smell of Chun Leshui still remained in the bed, Song Hanzhang tried his best to absorb the temperature that did not exist in it, and stared at the wall.

"Go to sleep." Song Hanzhang closed his eyes as if someone was patted and said to him.

As the sky slowly dawned, he sat up from the bed, went back to his room, changed his clothes and went downstairs.

There was the sound of pots and bowls colliding in the kitchen, and Song Hanzhang saw Chun Leshui running in like a bird: "Aunt Xu, what are you doing delicious today?"

Aunt Xu was taken aback by this cheerful voice, turned around and saw Song Hanzhang's smiling face, tears came down: "Little Master, what's wrong with you?"

Song Hanzhang woke up suddenly, took a step back and bumped into the cabinet, and the dishes on the countertop collided with each other, making a crisp and light sound.

He looked at Aunt Xu in front of him in some confusion, took out a piece of kitchen paper and handed it to her: "Don't be too sad."

Aunt Xu was in shock and looked at him with tears in her eyes. At that moment just now, she almost thought that the person holding her shoulders from behind and looking into the pot was Chun Leshui.

"Little Master..."

Song Hanzhang rubbed his eyebrows: "Can I trouble you to make me a cup of coffee?"

"Eh, fine."

Song Hanzhang walked out of the kitchen, pulled out the water pipe to water the flowers in the backyard.

After grandpa left, Uncle Xu took care of these flowers most of the time, and he took care of them very carefully. The dense roses on the wall were all in bloom, hanging with dew trembling to welcome the first ray of sunshine in the morning.

Uncle Xu was wearing a gardening apron, checking each flower for dead branches and leaves.

"Uncle Xu!" Song Hanzhang saw Chun Leshui rushing out of the house like a gust of wind again, dressed in the same way, holding a pair of scissors for pruning branches and leaves, "I'll help you."

"Little Master..."

The scissors in Song Hanzhang's hand fell to the ground. He looked back at the water pipe lying on the ground not far away that was constantly spitting out water, frowned and bent down to pick up the scissors at his feet.

Holding a rose in his hand that might have been cut by him, he said to Uncle Xu: "Sorry, I...maybe I haven't had a good rest..."

Song Hanzhang turned around and walked into the house.

Xu Qing looked at his back in astonishment.

There are shadows of Chun Leshui everywhere in the house, running up and down the stairs quickly, curling up on the sofa in the projection hall to watch TV dramas, and practicing leg presses in the dance studio.

After regaining consciousness in the dance studio again, Song Hanzhang stared at the bruise on his leg and thought for a moment, then went out and went up to the first floor.

"Young master, should you go see a doctor?" After Chun Leshui passed away, Aunt Xu's eyes seemed to be always red. She and Uncle Xu stopped Song Hanzhang on the stairs.

Song Hanzhang also felt that there might be something wrong with him.

He clearly knew that Chun Leshui was dead, and he watched with his own eyes that the monitor beside his hospital bed sounded an alarm, and the doctors and nurses rushed in and knocked away the hand that was holding Chun Leshui. His hand slipped away from his fingers, and fell on the quilt without any movement.

I don't know if he heard Chun Leshui's farewell, when he closed his eyes there was still a slight smile on his lips, Song Hanzhang was also very calm.

It's not that he had to be calm like when his grandfather died, but he really accepted Chun Leshui's death very calmly, and he didn't even dream that Chun Leshui, who always woke him up, died in his arms.

It all started when Chun Leshui forbade him to stay in front of his tombstone.

Song Hanzhang no longer suffers from insomnia, and can smoothly fall asleep under his pat every night.

This is not a bad thing, Song Hanzhang feels that Chun Leshui is still by his side, which makes him feel at ease.

But obviously Uncle Xu and Aunt Xu don't think so, they are the only two people who are still staying with Song Hanzhang to accompany him, Song Hanzhang doesn't want them to worry, the word "it's okay" has already rolled out of his mouth when he met the two worried eyes He swallowed it down.

He nodded.

Then went upstairs.

He went into his room to finish the work before turning off all the lights in the house, and returned to Chun Leshui's room through the corridor and the street lights outside the house.

"Be gentle." Chun Leshui reminded him, "Don't wake up Aunt Xu and the others."

Song Hanzhang had no expression on his face, neither nodded nor spoke, just took off the slippers on his feet and stepped on the floor with bare feet.

When the weather got hot, Aunt Xu took the time to remove all the carpets in the house, only the ones in Chun Leshui's room remained, because Song Hanzhang refused.

He stepped in barefoot, and the short-haired rug sank between his fingers, soft.

Song Hanzhang shook off the quilt and lay down, closed his eyes but didn't fall asleep for a long time.

"Chun Leshui, why don't you shoot—"

Song Hanzhang opened his eyelids, surrounded by silence, he lifted the quilt up and buried half of his face.

Oh, it was his hallucination.

"Alas..." The palms fell on the quilt, and they were patted lightly. Song Hanzhang heard Chun Leshui say, "I'm just too soft-hearted."

In the regular beating, Song Hanzhang fell into darkness.

He began to dream. He dreamed that several years ago, he was standing in the yard watering the flowers, and his grandfather brought back the still immature Chun Leshui from outside. His father died accidentally because he was saving his grandfather, so his grandfather planned to adopt him. Discussed with him before.

Song Hanzhang has no objection to this, after all, strictly speaking, Chun Leshui is still the child of the benefactor of the Song family.

When Song Hanzhang met for the first time, he felt that this man was like a rabbit, timid, he stretched out his hand for a long time, but the other party did not dare to shake hands with him.

Song Hanzhang was coddled at home, felt that this man was making a fuss, so he grabbed his hand and held it.

He is not very good at saying thank you, and saying thank you father for saving my grandfather sounds like digging someone's scars, and his friendly words are dry, as if with an order: "In the future, let me Treat this as your own home.”

He felt that he expressed his meaning well, but Chun Leshui didn't respond, just stared at him blankly.

Song Hanzhang was not very good at getting along with such passive people, so he let go of his hand and left after speaking.

The memory ends here, but the dream does not end. Song Hanzhang saw Chun Leshui standing in the yard and staring at his back for a long time.

In the dream, he had a God's perspective, and he found that Chun Leshui had been peeking at him, caring about him, and secretly writing him in his diary from that moment on.

As Chun Leshui said, since he first met Song Hanzhang at the age of 15, he has fallen in love with himself.

He dreamed that on the night when the relationship between the other two broke up, he knocked over the water glass in Chun Leshui's hand and overwhelmed him. At that time, he had lost his mind, but Chun Leshui didn't. Come on, say he's drunk.

But Song Hanzhang saw that he pinched Chunle's chin and kissed him. Chunle was constantly curled up with his hands pressed against the quilt, tightening and then loosening and tightening. Finally, Song Hanzhang squeezed his fingers into his. In the end, he finally got rid of the entanglement, and let him ask for it very docilely and obediently.

Looking at it, Song Hanzhang felt as if someone had strangled his throat, making it difficult to breathe.

The scene changed, and it was he who took revenge on Chun Leshui and then walked away, leaving Chun Leshui standing alone, holding his heart and slowly squatting down.

Song Hanzhang watched, wanting to help Chun Leshui up from the ground, wanting to catch up and scold him, but his feet seemed to be welded in place.

In this way, he was forced to see himself interrupting what Chun Leshui wanted to explain again and again, hurting him again and again.

He saw Chun Leshui fainting and bleeding frequently. After bleeding on the side of the road, he asked passers-by for help to call an ambulance, and was diagnosed with acute leukemia.

And during this time, the self in the dream met his true love, whose face and name were exactly the same as Jiang Ming.

Although there was some friction when we met because of a small misunderstanding, he was really too bright and broke into his life like a beam of light, so Song Hanzhang saw that he fell in love with him, and let go of the past under his influence. As long as Chun Leshui divorces him, he can let the past go.

It was obviously a good thing to say, but Chun Leshui postponed his appearance for various reasons, and finally even said that he had leukemia, and even his grandfather angrily asked Song Hanzhang to go to the hospital to see him.

But Song Hanzhang in the dream didn't believe it, he thought it was Chun Leshui's trick again, and he was determined not to let him do what he wanted.

But Chun Leshui was really sick, and Song Hanzhang watched him getting weaker and weaker. He wanted to pull his dream self to Chun Leshui's bed countless times, but he couldn't do anything except anger.

He could only watch as Chun Leshui was still thinking about him until his death, and when his consciousness dissipated, his fingertips were still subconsciously writing his name.

Song Hanzhang was in so much pain, he cried and shouted, but in his dream he couldn't make a sound.

Chun Leshui died, but the dream continued.

On the day when Chun Leshui died, Song Hanzhang saw that he had received a call from the bone marrow bank, saying that a patient who matched his HLA asked him if he would donate hematopoietic stem cells to treat the other party.

Song Hanzhang remembered that this was his bone marrow bank application that he filled out when he went to donate blood.

It was only at this moment that he believed that Chun Leshui really had leukemia, but it was too late. The bone marrow bank notified him that the other party had passed away less than half an hour after he agreed to donate.

Song Hanzhang saw that he was falling into self-blame, and it was Jiang Ming who accompanied him to comfort him.

It turns out that in this book, the existence of Chun Leshui is to use his death to promote the protagonist's feelings. Only here does Jiang Ming know that Song Hanzhang is married, and only then does he know that Song Hanzhang and Chun Leshui still have such a past.

Until Chun Leshui died, Song Hanzhang thought it was the medicine he had given. Jiang Ming, who didn't know the truth, told Song Hanzhang that it was not his fault.

Do not!

This is his fault!

Song Hanzhang was extremely collapsed, he had already discovered that something was wrong with Chunle Shui, why would he easily believe his anemia excuse, he clearly saw Chunle Shui bleeding with his own eyes, why didn't he think about it, it was so weird to lock it up after taking medicine Why did he stop insisting and let Chun Leshui go to the hospital with a tougher attitude.

If he can find out earlier, he can donate hematopoietic stem cells, and Chun Leshui will not die.

These are all his faults!

The scene in the dream began to reverse rapidly, and the time returned to the day when the two first met.