[Korean Entertainment] The king does not see the king

Not long after dinner, Shen Yajing felt sleepy.After all, I was exhausted on the way home, and the jet lag had not yet reversed. In addition, my body was recovering from illness, so I rubbed my eyes involuntarily after a while.Yang Xianshuo picked up the girl and carried her to the room prepared for her under the guidance of Yang's mother.This was originally the bedroom of the three brothers. Later, when the brothers grew up and left home one after another, their parents turned it into a study.When I saw it at this time, it was completely new.

There are light pink florals on the beige wallpaper, and the big princess bed is covered with light yellow embroidered bedding, with a white teddy bear doll on it.The room is full of all kinds of small decorations and small toys that are most popular with little girls nowadays, making it very cute and playful.There is no doubt that Father Yang and Mother Yang have made detailed preparations for Shen Yajing's arrival.

The girl didn't have the heart to appreciate it anymore, she was too sleepy to keep her eyes open.Her last consciousness was only to perceive that she was gently placed on a bed with moderate hardness, and someone pulled the quilt for her, tucked the corners of the quilt, and kissed her forehead lightly.She finally showed her first smile after the accident, and she slept soundly all night in this strange place, sleeping very well.

In this way, Shen Yajing settled down in the Yang family.Every day, Yang's mother and Yang's father always take care of her life meticulously, even though she has never said a word.

She pretended nothing had happened, pretended to be calm, read books, watched TV, and listened to music every day, and she seemed to be living a very normal life.However, the books she read gradually tended to be dark and melancholy.

When she reads black fairy tales, she also reads "Kafka on the Shore"; when she reads "The Little Prince", she also reads "NANA".She fell in love with the girl named "Qi" irrevocably, and also fell in love with the fiery and intense life of a girl. 【Note 1】Many, many small thoughts began to live in her heart, either dark or bright, but she never forgot them.

Probably because she thought too much during the day, she began to be haunted by nightmares all night long.

In the dream, there are flying irises, fallen leaves that are as red as blood in late autumn, and girls' tears, which fall on the dirty concrete floor in a daze, mixed with the rolling red dust, and gradually become so dirty.She never knew that tears that belonged to youth could shine in the dark.

She was in a dense forest again in a trance, and there was a road with no beginning and no end under her feet.She ran down the path, frightened.She passed by four Alices, seeing the immature and pure faces on their faces, and the frightening blood shadows in their eyes, she turned around and ran away in fright. 【Note 2】But Mr. Kafka Tamura stopped her, saying that he lost the boy named Crow, and that he finally returned to the hometown he had tried so hard to escape.Shen Yajing shook off his hand and fled to the distance. She clearly saw the dormant Sphinx from his heart. 【Note 3】

She also saw her twin flower.

Shen Yajing has always believed that there is another self living inside her.She always dotes on her who has never seen the sun very much, and she affectionately calls her "my twin flower".But at this moment, in Shen Yajing's dream, another woman in the world stood quietly in front of Shen Yajing, reaching out to caress her cold cheeks.Her hands had a slightly salty smell like the sea, as if they were soaked in tears, so sad that she wanted to cry a little bit.

He turned his head and ran wildly.After crossing a small stream and turning again, there is a large open space, on which are blooming huge Tumi flowers.Small white flowers surrounded the sleeping little prince, and the rose that was holding him tightly in his hand was withered, but it was strangely bright.

Not far away, the little fox was crying sadly.In the end, the little prince abandoned it, turned it into his passer-by, and turned it into a passing scenery. Even if the little fox gave up the whole forest for the little prince, he would be willing to call it his subordinate.But, no way, he was let down, right?Just like life, Shen Yajing suddenly thought of herself.

She almost felt unable to get out of this nightmare.She saw towering trees, so tall that they covered God's eyes.She saw the vigorous vitality die in the soil, rotted into ashes, she saw her soul leave the body, she saw the body was ignited by karmic fire, and ceased to exist.So the living thing dies, decay blooms.

She often woke up sweating profusely, and her beating heart almost pierced through her thin body.She, who was already in poor health, quickly withered away.

When everyone in the Yang family saw Shen Yajing like this, they were all worried.They also thought about taking Shen Yajing to see a psychiatrist, but they were afraid that the girl would think too much and feel that they were disgusting her or something.They had no choice but to closely observe the girl's every move while trembling, and at the same time take the girl out for a walk from time to time, so that she can see the outside world, hoping that she can slowly adjust herself.

Whenever the weather is fine, Yang's mother will hold Shen Yajing's hand and go to the church in the community to sit.Amidst the light and misty organ music and the singing of the choir, Shen Yajing's still aching heart gradually calmed down.

In the bright church, there is a faint fragrance, the priest's calm voice in the confession room, the golden chalice on the altar and Jesus on the cross. 【Note 4】The pastor said that Jehovah loves the world, so he sent his beloved son to the world to save the world.The Holy Son Jesus was a great righteous man who went through many hardships to achieve righteousness.

For religion, Shen Yajing actually had no feelings at all.She is a realistic person, she never allows herself to have too many extravagant expectations and fantasies, she also believes that only by giving can you gain, and what she wants will eventually be obtained with her own hands, in a fair and righteous manner.However, life always makes you fall hard when you are sure, and the mud is covered with filth, and it also overturns all your "thoughts".

But at this moment, Shen Yajing was trembling in the warm light of the church.Reason tells her that religion is just a carrier that people look for for things that they cannot explain, or a kind of comfort constructed for their own hesitation and fear; but emotionally, she is so eager to see if she can really have Lord, give her redemption, give her mercy.Her heart was shaking violently, and in the end, she, who hadn't covered her heart with layers of "calluses" at that time, was still in the church, preventing her heart from collapsing.

Under the altar, in front of the Holy Son, Shen Yajing finally opened her mouth, and said those words that had been buried in her heart for a long time to Mother Yang who had been quietly accompanying her all this time, those words that were about to fester with the wound in her heart .

She talked about her fears, her humble waiting and extravagant hopes when she was young, her hard-working learning process, her determination when her extravagant hopes were shattered, her gentle appearance and cold inside , talked about the only hug and the last words, about those treacherous nightmares, about her twins and her little prince.In the end, she cried weakly and fell into Yang's mother's arms, and asked sadly: "Why did they save me? They never cared about me, didn't they? Why did they say they loved me at that time? Why did I feel so sad? pain?"

Mother Yang also shed tears, hugging the girl tightly, speechless.But a child who is only 13 years old, children of her age are full of curiosity and rebellious age, but this child in her arms forced herself to mature prematurely.Thinking that you are not loved, you stubbornly want to hate.

Her "revenge" that has not yet been carried out, the only hug she received from her parents, the first expression of love she heard from her mother, the parents she lost overnight.All of this has long overturned all her persistence and goals, and pushed this child into a desperate situation.I can't love, I can't hate, I can't wait, the wound lies in my heart, and it hurts my bones when I touch it.

The child pretended to be fine, suppressed all negative emotions deep inside, refused to be honest with others, but let those gray/emotions invade her dreams.Such Shen Yajing made Yang's mother feel unspeakably heartbroken.She could understand the girl's hesitant and restless heart, and the fragility she tried to hide.She was even more saddened to find that there was nothing she could do except hold the girl tightly.

But fortunately, the girl finally said those words, and finally spread her other side to dry in front of God, and let the tears in her heart dry under the holy light.

The girl fell asleep crying, but had a rare and beautiful dream.In the dream, Jehovah accompanied the Son, standing on the golden steps, leading her parents up to the clouds step by step.She clearly saw that her parents smiled warmly at her.

When she woke up, Shen Yajing was already on her bed, the quilt was warm, and the quilt smelled like sunshine.She no longer remembered what she had dreamed just now, but the warmth still remained clearly in her heart.For so many days, she seemed to have only this moment, when she woke up from the dream, she didn't feel uncomfortable and depressed, but relaxed. 【Note 5】She burst into tears again.Sitting up like trying to get rid of tears, thinking about something quietly.The calmness and rationality that had been maintained before the accident finally returned to his eyes.After a long time, she made her decision.

She dressed and got out of bed in an orderly manner, arranged her clothes in front of the mirror, and stretched the tiny wrinkles on the clothes.Shen Yajing looked at her flawless self in the glasses, took a deep breath, and walked out of the room.Outside the door, the rest of the Yang family were sitting on the sofa in the living room chatting, seeing her coming out, they all looked over.

Shen Yajing smiled and sat down under their delighted eyes.Sit properly, straighten your back, look directly at everyone, and every move makes people feel the girl's firmness and seriousness.The girl said the first sentence in this family, but the content of the words shocked everyone in the Yang family. She said: "I want to go back to Paris. The reasons are as follows..."

The girl thought that she had probably found her own Jehovah, as if after experiencing the inner demons, she could see the sun and become a Buddha immediately. 【Note 6】

The author has something to say: hereby explain: this chapter may be confusing for some people, so the detailed notes are given below.Those who are interested can take a look.The number of words is relatively large, which may make everyone feel irritable.If you don't like the ones that can be skipped, please forgive me.

[Note 1]: I pay tribute to my favorite comic character - Osaki Nana.I know that many of you have read Yazawa Ai's "NANA", so you should know what it is talking about, so I won't repeat it.

[Note 2]: The four Alices here are borrowed settings from "Person/Pillar Alice".It's really complicated and weird, and I don't know how to post links. If you are interested, you can directly Baidu.

[Note 3]: Pay tribute to Haruki Murakami, one of my only three favorite Japanese/Japanese writers.Love his "Kafka on the Shore".The description here also quotes a few lines from a very classic poem inside.If my memory serves me right, the full poem is as follows: When you were at the edge of the world, I was at the crater of death.Standing behind the door are words without words.When I fell asleep, the moonlight shone behind the door, and small fish fell from the sky.The soldiers outside the window tightened their hearts.Kafka sits on a chair by the sea, thinking about the pendulum that moves the world.When the heart is closed, the sphinx with nowhere to go.Turn your figure into a sharp sword and pierce your dreams.The fingers of a drowned girl, feeling for the stone at the entrance.Spreading the blue skirt, watching Kafka by the sea.

[Note 4]: Encyclopedia, popularize a knowledge.Many people have never clearly understood the difference between a priest and a priest. In fact, the simplest thing is that priests are Catholics and priests are Christians; priests cannot marry for life, but priests can.

[Note 5]: A research report is borrowed here. The report says: Dreams that you don’t remember after waking up are actually for you to release stress; pressurized.So there is this saying.

[Note 6]: The reason why the front of this chapter is so treacherous is entirely to help the heroine see through at the moment.This is partly drawn from my own experience.Scorpio people seem to be like this. They often need to try their best when they understand the truth of life, but when they see it through, they will immediately calm down.People grow through injuries.Everything you have experienced in life is just to sculpt a proper you.