hibiscus past years

Cool, but still pinching the phone and staring at the screen, expecting some news from the other party.But he was disappointed after all. The phone hadn't rang since this morning's alarm, and no contact had sent a message. He didn't even receive the spam text messages that usually come every now and then.

He seems forgotten and abandoned by the world.

After a sleepless night, when I went to the hospital the next day, my colleagues were startled by the haggard face and bloodshot eyes.

"You need to rest." Yang Mingjie poured him a glass of warm water, sat down opposite him, his eyes were unprecedentedly worried.

Because of the need to stick to their posts and serve patients, it is not easy for doctors to ask for leave, but if someone helps fill it, everything will be much easier.Fortunately, it's late autumn now, and most of the patients who came to see a doctor had minor colds and fevers, which had nothing to do with him, the person in charge of holding the scalpel.

A good mental state is not only related to himself, but also to his patients. Even if Shen Mujin doesn't think about himself, he must be responsible for the patients under his hands.In this way, he didn't force much, patted his good brother on the shoulder, turned around and asked for leave.

Standing in the lobby on the first floor, watching the crowds coming and going in twos and twos, I used to feel that I was used to it, but looking at it today, it was full of sadness.

Look, they're all accompanied.

He was a little frustrated, he didn't want to look at them anymore, he lowered his head and quickly fled the place that was particularly tormenting for him at this time.

The sun just came out of the mountain was fiery red, not warm, but brighter, making the shadows behind me extraordinarily black and long.When he takes a step, the shadow follows him, following each step, never falling behind.

The thin black figure who was taller than him was very much like that tall boy who liked to wear black.

He looked up at the sky and sighed softly.

In the end it's still... I can't bear it.

33. Waiting for him to come home

◎"He is most afraid of being alone, I want to wait for him to go home."◎

After leaving the hospital, he was a little confused.The refrigerator at home still had the dumplings they made together the night before, but at this moment he didn't want to go back and eat them.

Standing quietly at the gate of the courtyard for a while, he took out his mobile phone and called the second elder, then went back to his hometown alone.

When he got home, he didn't bother to say hello to his parents, and went back to his room and fell asleep.I slept until midnight and woke up hungry.He floated to the kitchen in a daze like a ghost, and saw smoking a cigarette in the kitchen, just like waiting for his father when he was a child.

There was a bowl of noodles in front of Shen's father, steaming hot. It was pork and celery noodles that Shen Mujin had loved since she was a child.After leaving the noodles for a while, it was already a bit lumpy, but it was just his favorite softness.Next to it is a small dish of crispy and refreshing pickles, paired with hot noodles, it is tempting to look at it.

"dad."

he shouted.

"Are you awake? Are you hungry? Let's eat the noodles first."

Father Shen pushed the bowl over and continued to smoke.

After not eating for a day, Shen Mujin's stomach was already rumbling with hunger.He pulled out his chair and sat down, and began to inhale the storm.

Father Shen endured and endured on the other side, and finally couldn't help but say: "Eat slowly, no one will grab you."

Shen Mujin's cheeks were bulging, she nodded indiscriminately, and continued to struggle.

After 5 minutes, the bottom of the night was met.

Father Shen put the soup bowl into the sink, poured another glass of water for his son, then put out his cigarette and sat back, intending to have a long talk.

"Tell me, what happened? It's rare to come back, and you're still so lost."

The water was still hot, with steam curling up, making Shen Mujin want to cry.

"I... let go." He held the water glass and whispered.

Since he wanted to spread his wings and see the world, he let him fly.

Father Shen flicked the cigarette butt, looked up at him for a while, and asked, "What about you? What do you think? What kind of mood do you have for this relationship?"

Three questions in a row stunned Shen Mujin who had just woken up.He frowned and thought hard for a while, then shook his head and said, "I don't know either."

"I remember one time, we went home together. He walked behind me. At that time, he felt that kind of excitement. It felt...every step was unreal. At that time, he wished that this road could be longer. We can walk a little slower. This should be counted as blowing the evening wind together."

"People who heard that they blew the evening breeze together will remember it longer."

Shen Mujin said what she thought of, and she didn't know what she said after she finished speaking, and the answer was not what she asked, but his father understood it.

"Where is your relationship, I won't ask for now." Father Shen crossed his hands on the table, propped his head to think for a while, and said, "If you really can't find the reason, you might as well turn out what she said Think about it and see if you can discover something from it."

After this reminder, Shen Mujin's mind flashed, and she recalled: "He said...'You are walking too fast, I can't keep up'."

He suddenly realized: "Is he angry that I don't take him there?"

Father Shen asked, "Where are you going?"

"Hospital."

"..." Father Shen endured it, but in the end he still resisted the urge to beat his son up.

After all, it was born with hard work by the daughter-in-law, so it can't be beaten.

Thinking this way, he adjusted his mentality and said, "Tell me about the cause and effect."

Shen Mujin then told his father exactly what he planned to go out to play that day but broke the contract due to work.

After listening to Father Shen, he looked at his son who had been excellent since he was a child and rarely made them worry about him, and he already had a bottom line in his heart.He looked at his son who still didn't know why, and reminded vaguely: "Is it possible that she wants you to wait for her?"

Seeing that he was a little confused, Shen's father said: "You are excellent, which makes me and your mother very proud. But have you ever thought that a person who is too excellent can easily make people who like him feel inferior."

"Maybe she doesn't have self-confidence in herself, and because you are on the side for comparison, this kind of psychology will be more serious. At this time, a little blow will make her deny and doubt herself."

Father Shen got up, walked over to pat Shen Mujin's shoulder, and said earnestly: "She is trying to catch up with you, you have to give her time."

After mentioning this point, all the doubts in my heart dissipated like seeing the sun through the clouds, but Shen Mujin understood everything in an instant.

He stood up abruptly, without even caring about putting on his clothes, and ran out in a hurry.

"What are you doing?" Father Shen was anxious, "It's so dark at night, where are you going?"

Shen Mujin half turned around while running, and replied with a smile: "He is most afraid of being alone, and I will wait for him to go home."

34. Wintersweet

◎Where he doesn't care, he feels sorry for him. ◎

After autumn, it is winter.As soon as winter arrives, the New Year is approaching.The streets and alleys are decorated with lights and festoons to celebrate the arrival of the New Year.

In previous years, when Shen Mujin got annual leave at this time, he would go back to his hometown to spend with his parents, but this year he stubbornly chose to stay here and refused to go back.

The second elder knew that he was waiting for someone, and knew that he was uncomfortable, so he didn't force him, and rushed over from his hometown with big bags and small bags, and at least the whole family was reunited.

When the second elder came, it was natural to prepare a place for them to sleep.There are only two rooms in total, after much deliberation, Shen Mujin moved to Gu Fengzhu's room.

After Gu Fengzhu left, Shen Mujin closed the room.It's not locked, it's just tightly closed, except for daily cleaning, never stepping in half a step.This time, it was the first time to observe this room seriously.

When Gu Fengzhu came, he was alone with a sword, and Shen Mujin guessed at that time that this sword might be of great significance to him.But I don't know whether it was intentional or not, when he left, he took away all the miscellaneous and even insignificant things, but he forgot the sword on the table.

It's obviously just a cold weapon without emotion, but every time she sees it, Shen Mujin feels at ease.Its existence seems to say: I am still here, and my master will come back.

It is by relying on it that Shen Mujin can survive night after night, and miss again and again.

Now the cold moon hangs high on the branches, and the moonlight shines through the curtains. In the room where there is only one person and one sword, thoughts are also rushing like a spring.

The scabbard is a color that can easily melt into the night, but because the sword is placed under the moonlight, there is nowhere to hide.The sword surrounded by silver and white gave off a faint cold light, just like his master, who refused to get close to others.

Shen Mujin looked at it, as if she saw that beautiful young man with an indifferent face through it.Involuntarily, he walked towards it.

The scabbard is mottled and already has cracks.When you touch it with your hand, you can feel the grooves under the palm, but they are not sharp. It should be that the owner has carefully smoothed the sharp edges.

He took the sword off the stand, picked up the cloth towel beside it, and wiped it carefully like its owner.

"It hurts." He stroked the sheath, as if stroking someone's back, and what appeared in his eyes was the messy and shocking scars on the back.

He never dared to ask about the scars on his body, it was the past that he didn't want to look back on, and he dared not mention it.But what the eyes saw, the heart kept in mind for him.Indifference does not mean ignorance.How many midnight dreams come back, there will always be the hideous and devastated back in front of my eyes, and I can't sleep all night because of the distress.

Where he doesn't care, he feels sorry for him.

There was a sound of firecrackers outside the window, and Shen Mujin was startled, and accidentally pulled the sword out of its sheath.He rushed to close it in a hurry, but accidentally touched the blade, and his finger was scratched by the sharp cold blade, and blood dripped onto the table.

He hurriedly put away the sword and put it back where it was before going to wipe the table with a cloth.The moonlight was hazy, so he couldn't see clearly. He only wiped the blood drop, but he didn't know if it was wiped clean.

He fumbled for the switch, pressed it to light up, and when he went to wipe it again, he accidentally saw the writing on the desk.

It was when he made a phone call once, because he couldn't find the prescription written on the table by hand,