What should I do if I hit the model?

At the beginning, Huo Yujun didn't really think about what should be done. Seeing that he was pestering him, he asked him about his recent situation.

To be honest, the intimacy phobia that should be suffered from is not actually a disease in a strict sense.

Phobia of intimacy is mainly manifested as a lack of security in interpersonal communication. People with phobia of intimacy will subconsciously keep a distance from others, refuse excessive intimacy, and find it difficult to truly integrate into a certain circle.

They are eager to establish an intimate relationship with others, but they are worried that their emotional efforts will not be responded to, which leads to anxiety, thus slowly avoiding intimacy, making it difficult to communicate with everyone.

Compared with most people who suffer from intimacy phobia, Ying Ran's problem is relatively mild, and his performance is even somewhat special in some respects.

When the intimacy phobia is severe to a certain extent, it will unconsciously deny the need for interpersonal relationships, thereby reducing the sense of trust. In severe cases, it even completely refuses to have any in-depth communication with people, and refuses to establish a stable and safe relationship with anyone. Trust others.

Generally speaking, people with intimacy phobia lack interpersonal skills, and they are not able to actively establish a relationship with others as friends or lovers. Some people show extreme rejection or aversion to skin-to-skin contact. 【Note 1】

But Ying Ran is normal in terms of interpersonal communication, or he is even better than most people.

Ying Ran is not afraid of interpersonal communication, on the contrary, he is very comfortable in this area, and it can even be said that he is good at this area.

He can quickly establish friendships with people, he has quite a few friends, and through his love experience, we can know that he does not have any rejection of love and sexual relations themselves.

But Ying Ran does have problems in this aspect. His problems in this aspect are not obvious in his interactions with friends and relatives, but mainly reflected in his interactions with lovers.

This is also the reason why he changed boyfriends frequently before, and it was difficult for him to maintain an intimate relationship with someone for a long time.

Deep down in his heart, he always keeps a distance from people, a distance that he thinks is safe. Once this critical point is exceeded, he will show restlessness and anxiety, and sometimes even have the urge to escape.

Huo Yujun had done psychological counseling for Ying Ran before, but Ying Ran chose to interrupt the treatment midway, which is why Huo Yujun is not enthusiastic about Ying Ran's attitude in this regard.

After thinking for a moment, Huo Yujun said: "I believe that your feelings for that person may be serious, otherwise judging from your past situation, it is impossible for you to work hard on the same person five years later. But your situation requires a long-term Patient counseling, it is very likely that it will not produce any effect for a long time like last time. The treatment process requires your cooperation and patience. If you cannot accept this, Therefore, if you choose to stop halfway like last time, I actually suggest that you can give up the treatment."

"No, last time I encountered something, this time it won't..."

Ying Ran met Leng Sheng's grandfather for the first time in the third month of dating Leng Sheng. At that time, those words of Leng Sheng's grandfather had a great impact on him.

At that time, he thought about breaking up with Leng Sheng, but when he really faced Leng Sheng, he found that he couldn't say that at all, so in order to give Leng Sheng grandpa, Leng Sheng, and himself After an explanation, I finally chose to come to see a psychiatrist.

It is a pity that the treatment for several months after that did not have any effect. He originally thought that there was still a lot of time between him and Leng Sheng, and he could take his time, but it was just one thing after another. Happened, after all, it broke his fantasy, and he finally broke up with Leng Sheng.

The last time he bluffed to Huo Yujun, saying that he would never change for anyone in his life, but he didn't really mean it.

He said that only because the two had broken up, and he suddenly felt that everything he did was meaningless, and he didn't know why he said that in front of Huo Yujun, maybe it was just to maintain his ridiculous self-esteem.

Huo Yujun observed Ying Ran's expression and saw that he looked serious, so he didn't say any more about this point, but asked instead: "I told you before that fear is It's a very normal emotion, and the phobia of intimacy is rooted in the fear in your heart. You have to know what you are really afraid of in your heart. Do you have the answer in your heart now?"

Ying Ran responded, Huo Yujun did tell him this before, and he replied at that time: "I don't think it's fear. I probably just don't believe in love, so I can't get involved. After all, the love tragedy around me is too much. too much."

Huo Yujun told him at the time to let him think again, dig into his heart, and see clearly his true thoughts deep in his heart.

But now, with the passage of five years, he has indeed gradually discovered the true thoughts deep in his heart, as Huo Yujun said before.

These five years can be said to be the first time he has had a five-year window period since high school. This was almost unimaginable for him before, but it just happened naturally.

In the past five years, he had thought a lot, and now facing Huo Yujun's question, he could finally say that he knew the answer. The deepest fear in his heart was actually the fear of being rejected, abandoned, and hurt.

He is afraid that he will fall into a love that is too heavy, that he will love so much that he will lose himself, and that one day when he really loves someone so much that he can't leave him, the other person will easily abandon him.

The deepest root of his distrust of feelings and love is his self-protection, he dare not really give himself up completely, for fear that he will not be able to bear such harm.

After all, love is different from other relationships. Love itself is exclusive and unique to each other. This kind of relationship is closer and more dangerous.

But I have to say that after he came back this time, Leng Sheng's attitude towards him surprised him, but he also had an indescribable feeling in his heart.

If he had to describe that feeling, it might be fate. Leng Sheng let him know that he was not the only one who couldn't let go of these five years.

After hearing Ying Ran's answer, Huo Yujun gave a rare smile, "You can see clearly the deepest thoughts in your heart. In fact, you are much closer to being cured. Your current situation is developing in a better direction."

Ying Ran asked with a 'huh': "Then you accepted me as a patient?"

Huo Yujun raised his eyebrows and asked, "What if I don't accept it?"

"I've asked about my condition and I won't accept it? If you don't accept it, I won't leave."

Ying Ran said that she spread her whole body on the chair, looking like a fool.

Seeing him like this, Huo Yujun thought it was funny, "It's almost enough, now that you're such an adult, can you be a little more regular?"

"No."

Huo Yujun laughed.

Ying Ran also knew that he came to look for Huo Yujun, and Huo Yujun had no reason to reject him. The two of them were just joking here. Although the relationship between the two of them is not very close, they have been friends for several years. It was impossible for Huo Yujun not to help him.

Huo Yujun then asked about Yingran's situation in detail, and said, "You are much better now than you were a few years ago. You should learn to trust yourself and your relationship more. Communication is also about overcoming the fear of intimacy. Maybe you can try to openly tell the other person what you really think, let the other person know more about you, and then you can overcome this psychological barrier together.”

Ying Ran was silent for a moment after listening to the words, his psychological problem actually didn't have a big impact on his relationship with Leng Sheng, at least before it had an impact, the two of them just because of They broke up for various reasons.

Now that he and Leng Sheng want to be together again, they need to face many problems, and before he and Leng Sheng really reconcile, he still wants to solve these problems by himself.

After all... If they still can't get over that hurdle in the end, Leng Sheng doesn't need to accompany him to bear these hurdles.

He was willing to take this step, and tried his best to go in the direction of Leng Sheng, but the result was beyond his control, and even to some extent, it was beyond Leng Sheng's control.

Thinking of this, Ying Ran felt a little dull for no reason.

He came to Huo Yujun because he was in a bad mood before. On the one hand, he wanted to improve his own problems, and on the other hand, he wanted to relieve his mood. It turned out that this was a good thing. Huo Yujun's words directly let him Depressed again.

Thinking of this, Ying Ran looked at Huo Yujun resentfully.

Huo Yujun turned a blind eye to Yingran's reaction, and continued: "Your little friend, if you have time, you can bring him with you. This may have a better effect."

Should be dyed:...

"He's not young anymore."

He used to call him a kid because Leng Sheng was really young, but now that Leng Sheng is 24, it would be inappropriate to call him a kid.

Huo Yujun had nothing to say to this person who had completely missed the point.

After Ying Ran left Huo Yujun's place, he drove on the road by himself, but he didn't know where to go for a while. He didn't want to go back to the company for the time being. A bunch of things made him feel a little headache. At home, there was only He is alone, deserted everywhere...

At this moment, the phone rang, and a name popped out of Ying Ran's mind. She picked it up and looked, as expected, it was Leng Sheng.

Leng Sheng asked on the phone: "Do you have time? Have a meal together?"

The two of them haven't seen each other for almost a month, and Leng Sheng seems to have finally found time to meet up conveniently.

Ying Ran pondered for a moment, then asked: "You do?"

"kindness?"

Ying Ran said: "Last time you told me that if you want to eat the food you cook, you will go to your house to find you."

"Okay, come here, I'll wait for you."

Ying Ran hung up the phone, and her mood rose a little bit.

Sure enough...Leng Sheng is more useful to him than a psychiatrist...

When Ying Ran arrived, Leng Sheng was busy in the kitchen, Ying Ran had no intention of going forward to help, but just leaned on the side and watched him.

It is said that men are handsome when they cook, but this is not surprising.

Leng Sheng always looked very serious when he was doing things, and it was the same when cooking. At first glance, it seemed that he was doing a very serious and careful job.

His seriousness is charming.

"When did you learn to cook?" Ying Ran asked casually.

"The first two years."

After Leng Sheng finished speaking, he looked at him, and continued: "I heard that to catch a man, you must first catch his stomach."

Ying Ran couldn't help laughing and asked, "Who did you hear that from?"

"There is a female director in the company. I heard that she has had many boyfriends just like you."

Ying Ran couldn't help laughing again, while laughing, but feeling a little sad at the same time.

Leng Sheng's craftsmanship is good, he cooked a whole table of dishes, but Ying Ran's stomach was full after eating it.

He couldn't help feeling sleepy when he sat on the sofa after eating, and Leng Sheng sat next to him, holding his mobile phone as if he was busy with business.

There was no conversation between the two, but the atmosphere felt inexplicably warm.

After Leng Sheng put the phone aside, Ying Ran suddenly asked, "Are you afraid that I'm sick?"

"What disease?"

Ying Ran just had a sudden head twitch, and didn't really want to tell him about his situation, so he turned his head and said with a smile: "Venereal disease."

Leng Sheng stared at him for a moment, then asked, "Want to kiss?"

Should be dyed:? ? ?

Leng Sheng's brain circuit doesn't seem to be right. If it's really a venereal disease, the bodily fluid spread, probably infected him, right?

Leng Sheng is really not afraid...

Just when Ying Ran was secretly feeling that Leng Sheng was inseparable from him to the point of life and death, she heard Leng Sheng say: "Your words and deeds these days don't look like it, but now you look like you're acting like a spoiled child." .”

Ying Ran's forehead was full of question marks again, why did he act like a baby?

The author has something to say: Leng Sheng: Pretend to be weak, are you acting like a baby to me?

Should be dyed:? ? ?

Note 1: Regarding the symptoms and treatment methods of intimacy phobia, the reference comes from Baidu and Zhihu.