but you never loved me

Ning Yi had a dream, a dream he thought was the best in these years.In the dream, Yan Zimu watched his pain coldly without cruelty, and then left him.

Ning Yi still remembers the joy in his heart when he saw him worrying about himself.So when he opened his eyes in a daze and saw Yan Zimu lying beside the bed, he couldn't believe it.

He silently looked at the person in front of him. The person's face was a little pale, his eyes were blackened due to exhaustion, and the posture of lying on the bed made him sleep uneasy, so his brows were slightly frowned in the dream.

Ning Yi felt distressed, so seeing that the blanket on his body had slipped to the ground, she wanted to get up and cover him with a quilt.He thought his movements were already very light, but he still woke the man up.So when Yan Zimu opened his eyes, he saw the daze and guilt in his eyes.When the man spoke, he understood why, and the man said, "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry, I..."

Yan Zimu interrupted him: "It's okay, I just slept lightly." Ning Yi didn't speak anymore, but just lowered his head and didn't know what he was thinking.Yan Zimu sighed slightly and said, "How do you feel? Is there any discomfort?"

Ning Yi suddenly realized why he was here.His face gradually turned pale, but he was not sure if Yan Zimu really knew.So when he looked up at Yan Zimu, he stopped talking.Yan Zimu naturally saw the change in him, turned around and went out to find a doctor without saying anything.

When he returned to the ward with the doctor, Ning Yi had recovered his composure.He cooperated with the doctor's examination, and his face was as calm as usual.

After the doctor left, the room fell into complete silence.Yan Zimu turned his head to look at Ning Yi, who was also looking at him.They looked at each other for a long time, but didn't see any emotion in each other's eyes.

But the one who finally broke the silence was Yan Zimu, who thought for a long time and said, "Why did you..." He still couldn't say those two words.

Ning Yi smiled and said, "If I tell you that I didn't do it on purpose, would you believe me?" Yan Zimu remained silent. "Don't believe it?" Ning Yi asked and laughed again, nonchalantly, but it made people feel distressed.

Ning Yi looked at Yan Zimu's frowning brows, and withdrew his smile.And when he stopped smiling, he looked pale and weak. He said calmly: "I didn't want to die in the past. I said I would wait for you to come back. But...Zi Mu hurts me so much. As long as I think of you , My heart is like being hacked into pieces. I can't sleep because of the pain, but I can see you after a long time. Although..."

Having said that, he lowered his head, and when he spoke again, his words were full of sadness: "Although I know it's fake, but do you know that even you are like that, and you will never soften your heart to me. You always have a headache I left without looking back, and there was nothing I could do."

His eyes were gradually stained with pain, and there was a hint of tremor in his voice: "I zc because, only in this way can my heart feel better. It's just that sometimes the pain is severe, and I really thought about dying. It won’t hurt anymore. At that time, I probably thought so. But I regretted it because I couldn’t bear you. So I called Ning An and asked him to take me to the hospital.”

Ning Yi kept his head down, he didn't want Yan Zimu to see the madness in his eyes.Mentioning these, he would think of the pain day and night during those three years.Then he became a little dazed, wanting to have everything that person had, even if he wanted to do whatever he could.So he couldn't see the reddish corners of Yan Zimu's eyes, and the distress hidden in his eyes.

Yan Zimu asked calmly: "Then this time, do you dare to say that you didn't do it on purpose?" Ning Yi was silent for a long time this time, and said with deep sadness when he spoke: "I just think what you said is quite right. I don't deserve to be the father of the child at all, it's me who prevented him from seeing the world. It's ridiculous that I thought I could save you all these years, but now I know it's impossible, because the child can't come back. "

He looked up at the ceiling with deep darkness in his eyes: "I think maybe he can forgive me after I die. And you, you can probably forgive me too."

Yan Zimu's hand hanging by the bed had been clenched at some point, but his tone was calm when he spoke: "Ning Yi, some things are not as simple as one life and one life. I can't possibly do this. forgive you."

Ning Yi smiled self-deprecatingly: "I know." Yan Zimu looked at his disheveled face and said: "But some things are past, and since they are irreversible, don't think about it. If you You still want to make up for me, I don’t want anything now, I just want you to seriously cooperate with the doctor’s treatment until you fully recover. During this time, I will be with you.”

Ning Yi looked up at him, with ecstasy in his eyes, and said eagerly, "Are you really going to stay with me until I recover?" Yan Zimu nodded.

Ning Yi knew very well that Yan Zimu was just guilty.Because he thought it was him who was sick, when it wasn't his fault at all.In the past, Ning Yi would never accept such pity, but now as long as he can stay by his side for one more day, he feels it is a stolen happiness.This is not easy to come by, how can I bear to refuse.

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After Ning Yi was discharged from the hospital, he never took Yan Zimu to the villa in the suburbs.Instead, I went to the apartment full of sweetness three years ago.

When Yan Zimu entered, he was a little surprised to see the messy things piled up in the living room.Turning around to see Ning Yizheng with a happy face, he replied: "The things in the house are a bit old, so I bought some more. Do you like it?"

Yan Zimu looked at the pile of things in the room and felt a little depressed.This person really didn't change his nature, he said he was changing the furniture but he didn't ask what he meant at all, he was still as domineering as before.

Ning Yi seemed to have guessed what she was thinking, and quickly said: "I know I told you, you won't agree, so I bought it on my own, don't be angry."

Yan Zimu felt ashamed of being guessed by others, so he turned around and entered a room.The outside is chaotic, but this room is exceptionally tidy.Pink wall coverings, dreamy princess windows, and even the window curtains are lace.But these things don't look like new purchases.Yan Zimu knew that this was Yan Yan's former room.

The moment he opened the closet, he was stunned. The closet was full of little girl's clothes.From seven years old to ten years old, from childhood to age, they are arranged in order.

At this time Ning Yi was standing by the door, smiling and sincerely said: "Can you take her here?"