whale killer

After a long holiday, it finally rained in Beijing.The window is hazy, the sun is hidden, the sky is getting gray, the rain is thin like rolling fog, and the temperature is slightly lower than the previous few days.Xiang Qifei opened his eyes and thought it was not dawn. He looked at his phone and found that he had slept for more than an hour. The alarm clock was set to be set off. The perpetrator was just about to fall asleep with his arms around his waist, and he was still holding a few fingers in his right hand.

Since living together, Xiang Qifei has not been able to figure out what kind of routine Chi Yan is following.He often didn't sleep all night, no matter whether Xiang Qifei was facing him or his back was facing him after he fell asleep, Chi Yan always looked at him silently with his eyes down.If you ask Qi Fei, you will sing softly to coax him. If you have just finished making love, the two of you will simply stick together, sticking as close as possible, not talking, just exchanging breaths.

I also asked, but Chi Yan was always not honest, so he couldn't find out why. Once he drank two glasses too much, and he confided half a sentence in a daze. Two days off.

"I should go." He struggled twice with his non-symbolism, but to no avail.

Chi Yan still closed his eyes and said "OK", but did not let go.

With Chi Yan, Xiang Qifei loves similar moments very much. Every morning, the love for Chi Yan seems to be restarted, and the whole person is brand new.I really don't want to go back to school, otherwise I'll skip classes.Fortunately, reason finally reined in and pushed Chi Yan away from the bed to get dressed, "You used to say that I should study hard—"

Chi Yan opened his eyes and looked at Xiang Qifei. He took out one of his coats and gestured on his body, raised his head and looked at him through the full-length mirror: "I regret it now."

In fact, he couldn't continue to fall asleep in the end, Chi Yan followed him up, bought a sandwich at 711, and then took an umbrella to send Xiang Qifei into the subway.

Qiu Changrong's right ankle was once implanted with steel nails, and it gradually developed into an accurate weather forecast in the future. It is difficult to walk around when it rains frequently.

Also counting on this point, and separating from Xiang Qifei, Chi Yan didn't go home directly, but went to the Civil Aviation General Hospital alone.

After receiving Gibson's birthday, Chi Yan went to the piano store next door to ask the boss to teach him how to play the strings when he was looking at the shop. After a few months, he learned the basic skills.Qiu Changrong was pleasantly surprised, convinced that he had talent, and insisted on sending someone to Midi.Midi students are very expensive, with an average of more than 1 yuan per year, which is a lot of money for them.Qiu Changrong mortgaged the warehouse in Tongzhou. When discussing with Chi Yan, he had already sent money to the school from the post office.At that time, record stores only cared about food and clothing, and repaying loans could only develop a sideline business.Qiu Changrong happened to know a Beijing drifter who went to the north, and after selling it to someone, he called Zhonghua as a fake.At the beginning, I made a good profit. If it wasn’t for sentimentality, I might have closed the store early and concentrated on dumping fake cigarettes. Later, I was inexperienced.On the way home one night, someone beat her ankle and separated her shin and fibula.After removing the screws, I can go to the ground, but if I bear heavy loads for a long time or encounter bad weather, I often suffer from such pain that I cannot sleep all night.Fortunately, I will have close contacts with various venues in the future, and I can enter and exit the booth on the second floor of the bar by swiping my face, at least to watch the performance without standing.

After getting off the subway and passing countless gift shops, Chi Yan hurried past, only stopping in front of a shroud shop in Heimentou for a few seconds.The obese middle-aged woman on the mat at the door was eating melon seeds, wearing a colorful dress, with a piece of fruit shell at her feet, rattling rhythmically, seeing that Chi Yan was not moving, she even greeted Chi Yan, as if discussing an ordinary business.

Shaking his head and walking forward, he thought again, looking at this land boundary, it is indeed an ordinary business.

Even at the entrance of the hospital, Chi Yan didn't understand why he came.Qiu Yiming was supposed to wake up, but he was transferred to the general ward early, but he was still in a coma. When he asked the doctor, he said that there was no major problem with the indicators, and it might be that the patient did not want to wake up subjectively.Ka entered the door during visiting time, but was surprised to see Qiu Changrong dozing off on a chair by the bed, with a pair of newly bought crutches leaning on the bedside cabinet, the stainless steel lamps shining brightly.

Standing at the door and watching for a moment, witness a certain eerie calm.In addition to smelling disinfectant, you can also smell sick people.There are five beds in the room, two of which are empty, and the remaining one has just undergone an operation without anesthesia. The female nurse guarding the bed is staring at the machine in a daze.Outside the half-opened window, there was the sound of rain and birdsong, while the room was filled with heavy breathing and machines.Compared with the last time, the number of tubes on Qiu Yiming's body was significantly reduced, but he had also undergone a tracheotomy, and the opening in his throat looked a bit creepy.The arm was covered with bandages, the thin quilt was stained with blood and pus, and the few exposed skins were not intact.

Ask yourself again, what am I here for?Now that I figured it out, maybe it was because I had a little more understanding of Qiu Yiming after that night, and I even felt that I was similar to him at one point.Such empathy made Chi Yan feel ashamed and disgusting.

Turning around to leave, Qiu Changrong woke up and saw him surprised at first, then stood up with the back of the chair: "...Here we come."

Chi Yan nodded, "Yes."

Qiu Changrong used to not go out on rainy days, and it was not smooth to use crutches. Chi Yan helped him to the smoking area, lit two red pagodas, and asked, "Why don't you hire a nurse for a few more days?"

Qiu Changrong smoked twice, choked, coughed for a while, and didn't answer the question directly.

Chi Yan guessed eighty-nine times: "The money is used to support the musicians?"

Still coughing, just replied: "It counts as an investment. How can an investment make money forever? You don't understand."

I don't understand, Chi Yan frowned.

Once in Midi, in order to make enough tuition fees and to pay back the money quickly after graduation, in addition to practicing the piano every day, Chi Yan also took a lot of engineering and industry courses to compare various profit models.I was also teased by Ah Nao, I don't understand, do you really want to make money?How do you live so divided.But the research is more or less effective, even if fame is a probability event, there is still a [-]% rule to follow.Even in the future, half of Qiu Changrong's "investment" will depend on Chi Yan's judgment.

After dusting the ash in the trash can, Chi Yan said again: "Not everyone remembers to pay you back like me."

"Nonsense," Qiu Changrong sat down on a stool by the wall, "When did I ask you to pay back the money? You typed up the IOU yourself, for fear that you owe me a penny. But if you want to live, how can you not owe anyone? If you owe each other, others will not forget you."

"That should be paid." Silence, and then said, "It's not that I haven't tried."

Qiu Changrong sighed: "You didn't try the right person. I have no objection, but I don't think the two of you can do it either."

Chi Yan was a little annoyed: "How do I know who is right?"

"You should try a few more times."

"Try a few more times, like you?" Chi Yan took a puff of smoke, leaned on the door frame and looked in the direction of Qiu Yiming's ward, "It's too expensive to recognize your son."

Qiu Changrong was slightly embarrassed, and changed the subject: "A girl came here a few days ago."

"how?"

"Tell me a lot, Yiming was in the juvenile prison."

"You used to have both names and surnames."

"what?"

"I said, when you called him," Chi Yan replied, "In the past, they used to have both names and surnames."

Qiu Changrong was stunned, and then looked at the cracks in the stone bricks on the ground: "I don't know, he lived that kind of life inside..."

Chi Yan sat back: "You didn't go to see it in those two years. I didn't go there very often, just once."

"What did he tell you?"

"He was a little dazed at the time, and asked me why you didn't come to see him, and I said you were busy. You were arranging Feng Qi to contact the record company, and finally signed the Nightmare."

"It was time to go."

Chi Yan leaned back on the row of chairs, Hongtashan didn't take a few puffs, and there was only one section left, and the ash hung tremblingly on it, "It's a bit late to regret it now."

"It can be remedied. When Yiming wakes up, you can talk to Xiao Xiang..."

The soot fell down, and the remaining sparks were about to burn his fingertips. When he mentioned Xiang Qifei, Chi Yan couldn't restrain his anxiety: "Can you stop dragging him into our mess? Qiu Yiming won't wake up. He may not want to see you at all, this is the sin you should atone for, why should you let Xiang Qi make it up—"

In the next second, the pain in his right face was burning, and he lost his hearing for a short time with a buzzing sound in his right ear. At some point, Qiu Changrong stood upright in front of him, his chest heaved and heaved due to violent breathing, and his face was full of anger after poking the pain point: "What a rotten thing!" ? Others think about how to live, but you want to think about how to die. How can you atone for your sins by forcing Qin Zhimo to death? Then you also want to kill yourself? You are the fucking bad thing. "

Taking a taxi home in embarrassment, Chi Yan stood in front of the piano cabinet for half an hour.It was brought back by He Xiangqifei from the flea market, with beautiful hardware decorations on the corners, it is condescending to put a low-end Gibson.He took out the piano, played the first song he had written, pushed the strings a little harder, and broke two strings.It's really bad enough, his person is as fragile as his strings, and he seems to be unable to connect with anyone.Sitting on the floor smoking and on the lighter, the traces added by Xiang Qifei are about to disappear, the killer whale becomes cloudy and mottled, the original background color is gradually revealed, the window is thrown out, and it falls into the mud, only a muffled sound is heard .The phone vibrated in his pocket, and it was Ah Nao who picked up the call.

Chi Yan frowned: "Where did you get my number?"

"I asked for it from Xiao Xiang, damn it, never mind this, Qiu Yiming is dead. Fuck, I woke up for 10 minutes and took off the respirator by myself. I just rushed to the hospital. The morgue is so fucking gloomy. Can you come?" ? I haven't dealt with this matter. Why didn't the second brother come to you first?"

In just a short second, the memory flashed back to that day, when he kicked open the door to see Qin Zhimo's body soaked in the bathtub, the red marks on his wrists, what came first was not pain, confusion, regret or anger, but only a second relief.Endless days and nights later to make up for the self-hatred this second caused.

as at this moment.After all, I'm the only one who sucks.

Hanging up the phone, heaving a sigh of relief, he smashed the Gibson, a rotten piano should be left to rot.Sitting among the wreckage, flipping through Xiang Qifei's inbox, which was gradually overwhelmed by Xiang Qifei, he was caught off guard by Qin Zhimo's indifferent words, but once, he also had the same eager moment, scrolling down one by one, he could roughly overlook a yearning for freedom How the heart is extinguished.At the end, the text message he sent from that year was automatically cut into several pieces due to too many words:

"Ayan, I originally wanted to call, but you should be performing now. I hope you won't be too worried if you can't find me these days, and everything will be fine. You said you wanted to confess to your family, and I did so last week I was a little impulsive, and I didn't have time to discuss it with you. But my dad is really not as easy-talking as my second brother, and locked me up for a full week. I didn't plan to let me out at first, but Xiaozheng secretly handed me the phone and the key. Waiting outside the warehouse where I live, it’s so cold. I brought some cash and jewelry, which should be enough to rent a new house and start all over again. When I escaped, I felt that there was no day in my life that would I am happier today, I want to play the piano, and I want to sing. I love you. I bought champagne and waited for you to drink together. I respect the only bravery in my life, and I also respect rock music and freedom."