Don't fall in love with the professor

It's not complicated at all.

Zhong Kexing is responsible for the teaching of "Biochemistry" in the sophomore year of the department. For students of related majors, this is a very important course. Zhong Kexing knows the truth of it, so he teaches it very carefully.

He couldn't attend class on time during the few days of his business trip, so he left a task and asked to write a research review in a certain direction, and then graded after the homework was received, which was regarded as a normal grade.

On the first working day after returning from the inspection, Zhong Kexing spent the whole afternoon watching carefully, but he shook his head while watching.

What many people write does not meet the requirements at all, and some even fail to meet the most basic language norms. A quick glance shows that no effort has been put into it.

All scored truthfully.

This morning, Zhong Kexing received a WeChat message from a student, saying that he did not know what was wrong with his homework and wanted to ask him for advice on how to improve it.

It's not like I haven't encountered such a situation in the past - some people feel that their grades are too low, and they always want to ask for an explanation.

But Zhong Kexing had his own yardstick of judgment in his heart, and he was never afraid of these, so he asked them to come to the office in the afternoon.

After the students came, Zhong Kexing observed their speech and attitude, and found that they were not dissatisfied with their scores, but sincerely asked for advice.

Zhong Kexing's work focuses on scientific research, but he is also dedicated to teaching. He is willing to give advice to those who are open-minded and eager to learn.

He opened the homework stored in the computer on the spot, and with a meticulous attitude, he listed the shortcomings and deficiencies in one of the students' articles from beginning to end.

"I don't know if you understand."

While talking, he turned his head away, but he felt something was wrong.

Sure enough, the next moment, the student's face seemed to be unable to collapse, and tears were streaming down his face.

Zhong Kexing had never encountered such a thing before, and he was dumbfounded on the spot, not knowing how to deal with it.

Fortunately, the companion present reacted in time, took out the tissue in the backpack, and stuffed it into the girl's hand.

Only then did Zhong Kexing set his eyes on her carefully.

White short-sleeved, sweatpants, is a very simple and plain dress, and her appearance and size belong to the kind that does not stand out in the crowd. Fortunately, Zhong Kexing has a good memory, so I have some impressions of her-always sitting in the back row near the corner , looking thin and weak, speaking in a low voice, as if afraid of disturbing someone.

He listens carefully in class and likes to take notes.

I saw her crying and wiping her tears, and apologizing sobbingly.

"Ms. Zhong, I'm sorry..."

"But I can't help myself..."

"I'm so bad..."

As he said this while choking with sobs, his little face wrinkled into a ball, and tears rolled out violently again.

At this moment, Zhong Kexing realized that it was because he spoke too directly that made the students feel hurt.

"Sometimes, I can feel that they don't like me."

Zhong Kexing seldom revealed his heart like this. Jiang Xiaocheng listened carefully. Seeing him say this, he couldn't help raising his arm and holding his hand on the table, as if he didn't know how to comfort him.

Anxiously said: "How is it possible? No way."

Zhong Kexing shook his head and said, "I just don't understand. Wouldn't it be more efficient to solve the problem if we could simply point out where the mistake is?"

Jiang Xiaocheng thought for a moment, then slowly said: "Are you pointing out her mistakes to criticize her, or do you want her to accept your opinion and make corrections?"

"Of course I want her to accept the opinions and make corrections."

"Then your focus can be on getting her to accept your opinion instead of pointing out her fault."

Zhong Kexing's expression was puzzled.

"If you don't point out her mistakes, how will she know what needs to be corrected?"

"It's not that I don't point out her fault, but that it needs to be more tactful, so that the probability of her acceptance will be higher. It's not that the more direct the way of speaking, the easier it is for her to accept."

Jiang Xiaocheng decided to explain it in another way.

"No one likes to be denied. Even if they know that the other party has good intentions, they will more or less mind. Just like me, if someone criticizes me, I will feel sad in my heart. After all, emotions are difficult to control. Do you feel directly pointing out Other people's mistakes are an efficient method, but in fact, it depends on the individual, and it depends on whether he can accept it."

"If a person is strong and he knows you're looking out for his own good and wants a quick fix, then that's obviously good."

"But such people are rare after all. Like your student, I think she should be a sensitive and delicate person with a fragile personality. If you don't pay attention to the way you speak, you may hit her. Such a person has been hurt. Frustration, it is easy to fall into negative emotions, and then deny yourself, feel that there is nothing wrong with you, so you don’t have the confidence to correct your mistakes.”

"For another example, I often encounter some customers with strong personalities in my work, who will put forward difficult requirements. If they directly say that his ideas are not good, he will usually fight back to defend his point of view. Because such a person doesn't like criticism from others... a bit like a hedgehog."

"But if we express ourselves in a tactful way and make it easier for them to accept, it will work better."

"If your purpose is to criticize him, then you can directly tell his mistakes, but it doesn't mean that if you tell his mistakes, he can correct them. Isn't it better to let him accept them in an appropriate way?"

Jiang Xiaocheng expressed his opinion eloquently.

"I understand." Zhong Kexing had an epiphany.

After talking so much, Jiang Xiaocheng felt a little thirsty, so he picked up the water glass at hand.

"However..." Zhong Kexing pondered, and continued to ask, "How should I be tactful—"

"hiss……"

"what happened?"

Jiang Xiaocheng covered his left cheek and said, "Maybe there's lemon in it, it's a bit sour, it irritates the teeth."

"Then replace it."

"Forget it, don't bother, it's okay—"

Before Jiang Xiaocheng finished speaking, Zhong Kexing had already found a waiter.

"Hello sir, what do you need?"

"Can I change his drink to water? Lukewarm water."

"OK, just a second."

Jiang Xiaocheng felt his thoughtfulness, and his heart seemed to have been nourished by a warm current.

Take out a piece of toilet paper, write something down, and hand it to Zhong Kexing.

Zhong Kexing took it hesitantly, looked at the words on it, and read it aloud.

"You did a good job in A, and B is also good, you can see it... But for C, if you can... it will be more perfect."

He raised his head in confusion and asked, "What do you mean?"

"The formula for giving advice to others. The more effective way to get others to accept your opinion is to praise him. Look——"

Jiang Xiaocheng explained to him.

"When a person completes a certain task, there are always things he does well and some things he doesn't do well. A and B represent the things he did well. Add a little praise after the ellipsis to express his affirmation of these good things. "C" represents the flawed aspect of the other party's work, and the ellipsis behind it is a suggestion for improvement."

After Jiang Xiaocheng explained, he gave him an example.

"A student's homework must have advantages and disadvantages, um... what are her advantages?"

Zhong Kexing really thought for a while, and said: "The format is correct, and there are many references."

"Then you can tell her like this, your article is well formatted and you have listed a lot of references, which is very good... um... I can see your serious attitude, and you have really put a lot of effort into it— —Does she have any shortcomings?"

This time Zhong Kexing answered quickly.

"Mainly in terms of narrative, there is a lack of systematic review of previous research methods and results, and no own views and opinions."

"Then... the following can be said - in terms of the narrative of the article, if you can systematically sort out the research methods and results of the predecessors, and add your own views and opinions, it will be more perfect."

"Am I the client's executive, and I often have to feed back the client's opinions to the creative side, so I have some experience in communication. This formula can't be said to be tried and tested, but it should have some effect."

"What's more," Jiang Xiaocheng continued, "according to my observation, many people are used to protecting their views, so sometimes, I think, telling him why he does what he does is more important than telling him how to do it. Just make it clear to him what is your starting point for making this suggestion, so that he will be more receptive."

Zhong Kexing also felt that these are feasible methods, "Okay, I will try it next time."

The two ate in silence for a while, Jiang Xiaocheng remembered what Zhong Kexing said just now, and asked again: "Have you ever met a teacher who left a deep impression on you since you were young?"

Zhong Kexing replied: "Of course, there are many."

"Who made the deepest impression?"

"The one that impressed me the most... was my tutor when I was studying for a Ph. He worked for more than ten hours, did not leave the laboratory until late at night, and even read literature when flying, and I even received his email at three in the morning."

"So hard?"

"Maybe he doesn't find it hard, but enjoys it."

Jiang Xiaocheng said: "When I was in college, every time I took a new class, I met a new teacher, but apart from the class, I didn't have much contact with them. Instead, it was my junior high school head teacher. I remember him very deeply. He taught us mathematics. Probably... um... in his 40s. He is very aggressive, especially to the poor students in the class. At that time, we lived in the dormitory of the school, and the head teacher would go to the dormitory to conduct surprise inspections. If cigarettes were found in someone's bed cabinet, he would Taught him severely. So at that time, some classmates hated him and deflated his bicycle behind his back."

"Cough," Zhong Kexing choked, "is there really such a thing?"

"Of course, I was the most naughty in junior high school. The head teacher was very strict with us. He would check the homework page by page, even during the winter and summer vacations. He would also identify who was copying the answers. Although he was a math teacher, he kept asking us to answer the questions. Handwriting should be neat and tidy, if you write a wrong word, you can’t scribble, you should draw a slash on the wrong word, and then write down, I still keep this habit.”

"He was a good teacher."

Jiang Xiaocheng nodded in agreement.

"Although he always criticizes those poor students, he is very responsible for them. During the senior high school entrance examination, our class's grades were the best in the county. A while ago, someone went back to school to see him and sent a photo to the class group. So I I think that although the students will verbally complain about the teacher's strictness, they also know in their hearts that this is good for them and they will be grateful."

Zhong Kexing recalled his words and said, "Are you enlightening me?"

The little trick was seen through, and Jiang Xiaocheng felt a little embarrassed.

"I just want to say, you are so good, don't underestimate yourself."

This relief really took effect, Zhong Kexing felt much more relaxed, thinking about what to say next time he saw that student.