crown of thorns

The author has something to say: I’m afraid everyone will ask, where did the pot go~ In fact, I have been reading Dostoevsky’s "Idiot" and "The Brothers Karamazov" these days to prepare for the next pitfall. Although I haven't figured out how to write it yet, because I expect that after this pit is filled, I have two ideas. One is to write an oriental fantasy. I have already written the beginning of three chapters. I also have a general structure. Horror psychological drama line, for this purpose, we need to do some research on criminal psychology, try to figure out how to make people shudder, and at least deeply analyze people. The background is a seminary, and it is still the Thorn series. Of course, Raziel and Lucifer will also appear. A cameo, but the whole show is darker.Well, please look forward to it.I also want to ask here, do you want to read religious horror novels or oriental fantasy novels.Thank you everyone, if it is convenient, you can send me a message on the site or comment below.

Love must not be false, evil must be hated, and good must be close.

………………………………………………——The Bible·New Testament·Romans

How did you all know me?How have you all wished to see my face.You don't know me, and I don't want to be known by you.

From the first time I saw Lucifer, I decided that I would go crazy for him to the point where I couldn't hold myself.However, I cannot do this, because the Lord, God, has an eternal support for me.

I love Lucifer more than Jehovah, and it's all unbearable to me.

Yes, I'm still jealous, jealous of every angel near him, especially Raziel.Because of Lucifer's mind, I can see it.You think that I was originally a mortal with a wife, a daughter, and many children, but I abandoned the love in the world and went to the sky to have a love affair with a male angel. I am not incapable of understanding your criticism or criticism of me.

But the mobilization of emotions is not as simple as you imagine, and it contains many unknown and wonderful reasons.For example, when a person loves a person, he hates him extremely at the same time.Maybe at this moment, being full of such feelings for someone, at another time, it becomes another kind of feeling.A few words from a person may change your entire impression of that person, from good to bad, and from bad to good.

People use language to define the relationship between each other. Sometimes the same words are said at different times, and they hate and like them respectively. I am a human being, and my self-esteem is very strong, so my self-esteem does not allow me to believe in anything other than Jehovah. any of the gods.This is the first advantage that God takes a fancy to in me.I also understand that, therefore, my self-esteem is stronger than that of others, so strong that it cannot be increased. Among the angels, the one I want to love must be the most perfect.

Who is more perfect than Jehovah?No one, but I feel that besides perfection, that little flaw, a little willfulness makes me feel mesmerized.This is my first impression of Lucifer.

The first time I met him was in front of the tree of life in the Garden of Eden. He argued and bickered with God. Since I had just entered the kingdom of heaven, I didn’t dare to be overly proud of all the angels and tried to show humility. However, when I saw him , I forgot what to say for a moment, I stumbled back to my residence that day.

My mind is full of his face, because I have never seen such a perfect face, it seems like God, but God is too perfect, it is not very vivid, but Lucifer is not, he is sometimes a little stubborn, A little bit of a temper, I actually secretly inquired about him for a long time, he is also a playful angel, like a child.

The more I think about it, the more strange it becomes, because I never cared so much about a single person before, not even my earthly wife and children.I caress them all the best, and they all think I am a kind person, but do you know what I think in my heart?I thought to myself, I spread my love for the Lord to them, and these things seemed to be my duty as time went by.

I didn't get pleasure from it, nor did I have the sorrow and anger of the noisy couple, nor the comfort and joy of reconciliation.In this world, I live very peacefully. People say that I am simply superior to all things. I don’t look like a person, and I think so too.Even once, I would like to experience apologizing to my wife, begging her for forgiveness, kissing her hand and saying, "Honey, I was wrong, please forgive me." It’s so self-deprecating for men, because men’s self-esteem surpasses women’s, but if it makes my wife happy, I may feel very happy. Although we can’t tell what love is, we know each other. That kind of thing exists between us.

However, my wife and I respect each other as guests. We have seven children. The children all say that I am a good father. I protect them, educate them, give them food and shelter, make them obedient, and I satisfy them and want them. Harmony, they are obedient.

However, something was missing.I seem to be a little less fearful and uneasy. I even feel that because of my incomparable loyalty to Jehovah, my children are too obedient and obedient. I almost don’t have to worry about their future like other parents. Ask them to remember one thing from childhood: just believe, don't ask.

They listened to me very much. I remember that after I ascended to heaven, I also visited them, but they did not recognize me long ago. I heard that the fathers of these children were chosen by God to go there. Even when the whole world did not believe in Jehovah, our town still believed in it in the end.Several of my children were very wealthy and lived a carefree life. The family was not only extremely rich, with cattle and sheep everywhere, but also had many descendants. They lived happily, peacefully and died without illness.Finished their healthy and happy life.These are the bountiful gifts of Jehovah.It’s just that at some point, I suddenly wondered if they were really that happy. I wondered if they were the same as me, because I also suffered countless hardships in my early years, but at that time I never thought about these messy problems .Later, the Lord tested me enough. He believed that I never gave up my faith in the midst of suffering. He suddenly gave me endless rewards. Although I have never been a king, I have more servants than the king’s army. My wealth surpasses the kings of the entire earth, my wife is the most beautiful in the entire earth, and my children are very obedient and well-behaved. They can write at the age of three, and they can write psalms praising Jehovah at the age of seven.At this point, I suddenly felt that something was missing.You say, what dissatisfaction do I have?

Anyway, I was still crazy about my beliefs. I thought it would be okay to hand over my body to Jehovah, but in the end I was really called by Him.When I first became Metatron, I couldn’t even believe it, but it was different after that. Many people may think that I became the famous “Amen prime minister” in the kingdom of heaven, and my opinions on Jehovah will always be called “Amen” , and never mentioned my own opinions, but waited for Jehovah to speak up before speaking. Even if I spoke first, it was obvious that those opinions were what Jehovah was pleased to see.

But you are all wrong!You don't know me at all, and you don't know the truth.You don’t understand how grateful a person who has come out of suffering is to Jehovah’s great kindness.My parents hated me since I was a child and threw me into the deep mountains. I was almost eaten by wild beasts several times, and I died. However, Jehovah led me out of this desperate situation step by step and led me to an incomparably brighter day.Although I was poor in the first half of my life, I could always feel that He was by my side. In the second half of my life, I became rich and honored. My parents and relatives are all proud of me, and I will never forget Jehovah’s guidance in my life .He is my mentor, my father, my mother, my everything.

The reason why I became the "Prime Minister of Amen" ridiculed by everyone is because in my opinion, some of these angels have a high self-esteem. They think that they have some knowledge that surpasses Jehovah, but in fact they do not.That being the case, why do they say some of their own prejudices?All the words of angels cannot enter my eyes.

Only him.

I agree with many of his words, but he and Yahweh seem to be two poles of one thing, O people!You have to know that things in the world may not have the truth. In many cases, the two opposite views are actually not wrong.That being the case, what is my fault for agreeing with Jehovah’s words?In fact, I also agree with Lucifer's point of view in my heart.

Speaking of the Great Flood, I think it makes sense for Jehovah to say to destroy all people, but it also makes sense for Lucifer to raise wise men from among people to improve them.It’s just that the methods are different. Since man was about to die, Jehovah only used this method to speed up the process of man’s death. He created man in the first place, and it was completely righteous for him to do so.But Lucifer was right in wanting to establish sages. Since they are going to die eventually, what's the point of letting them die first?It doesn't matter if you appoint a few sages to influence them.Noah's three sons were not as pure as Noah's. Since the last three sons would give birth to a large number of impure beliefs or become like the earlier humans, the Great Flood is meaningless.

Both points of view are correct.

It's just that I don't say it.

I love Jehovah, so I will not deny His words.Since I went to heaven, I have been thinking about Lucifer day and night.His slightly self-willed and flexible mind made me crazy to admire.I also have emotional and even sexual needs for him, and sometimes I can't help but want to hold his hand, but I don't.

My extreme self-esteem couldn't approve of what I did, not to mention, he already wanted it.

No one had ever noticed that it was Raziel that he liked.Even I think Michael couldn't see clearly on this layer.But I'm on the sidelines.Yes, many angels thought I was not smart, but I was many times beyond their expectations.I just don't want to talk about it.

I hid my feelings so that even Lucifer couldn't see it, and even thought I was Jehovah's errand, a tool I used to deal with him.How can you look at Jehovah in this way?

Especially the pretentious Raziel, it just makes me sick.What did he think he was?He stole Lucifer's heart, and he was as hypocritical as me, hardly expressing his opinion.But among the angels, he seldom talks, but all the angels praised him and said he is a good man, but I became "Amen Prime Minister", don't everyone feel sad when they see it?

I have a strong self-esteem, and I know it, but the story of hindering Raziel is just what you heard from him. The transcripts he writes and revises now, that is, when he was the secretary-general, he wrote some things in the world. Get emotional.You even thought that I was going to persecute him, but would a self-respecting person like me persecute him?Do I have to be so self-deprecating as to embarrass him by fighting against him on the record?

The record he presented to me has a frivolous emotional color, focusing on personal affairs, local customs, and culture. He chose to use the legends of the people on the earth, and did not even analyze the problems in them, which even insulted Jehovah. He never cared about it, he likes to select some myths from the earth, put them in the record, and set up a special chapter, when listening to people's arguments, he doesn't mark the righteousness or unrighteousness advocated by Jehovah on the record (this is what he originally planned to do. ), which caused confusion in the secretariat. After such a record, who can know who is righteous and who is unrighteous?

When I questioned him, he actually said: "Justice and unrighteousness are not a scribe's business. A scribe should record everything on earth as it is. Since justice lies with the Lord, let the Lord judge himself." He regarded him as what?

I asked him to revise it tirelessly, hoping that he would change this style of writing that had even become unconscious. He had gone too far, and even though he didn't say much, what he thought in his heart was already intolerable.

If I really wanted to punish him, I would have left him alone in the file room long ago, but didn't he find out that I was with him from the beginning to the end, and accompanied him to correct it?How would I feel if these records were seen by the Lord? Although I hate him, I thought about him being an angel again, and let him revise it, so as not to be caught saying that this angel has a heretical heart!

But the LORD tolerated it and asked me not to force him.

Yes, merciful Jehovah!

But I never explain anything, I don't need you to sympathize with me, take pity on me, and I don't need you to understand me.Even if the whole world misunderstands me, I will take it upon myself, because my Lord Jehovah, He will always and forever watch over me.

For lovers, Lucifer is indeed perfect, although he himself is not completely perfect.

I know, so I hide love deeply in my heart and never mention it.

Sometimes I purposely act like I'm fighting Lucifer, but you think I'm arguing with him (before), he scolds me, I scold him instead, why do you think I do that?In fact, I was heartbroken at the time, because he hated me and hated me the first time he saw me, and I was just protesting to him in this way.In fact, he was right.

The tears of the world, I cannot drop into the desert and become a river,

On the tip of the crocodile's teeth, I can't engrave the past of the first day.

Lucifer's real name, I don't know,

I have no way of knowing the real name of Jehovah.

May all reject me, and my love too.

After Metatron finished writing this, it was late at night, and suddenly the only angel who wished to see him came and said, "Tomorrow noon, Lucifer invited many angels to the Treant Tavern to discuss important matters. Teacher, you should go too!"

"I won't go, they didn't invite me."

"Because of this, you should go all the more!"

Metatron stood up and burned all the words he had just written on the paper.Then he said calmly, "Then I'll go too."