demons lurk beside you

Hou Qixuan's diary:

May 1998, 5 (sunny)

It's so hot. .

I rode a bicycle with Pei Ting to school as usual. She held my waist with both hands and chatted a lot, but I just listened to her gentle and lovely voice with a smile.

I am older than her, but only 1 minute and 55 seconds older, but still older than her, so I must protect her.

When I parked my bicycle in the shed, there was that annoying boy standing next to him. He was always around Peting and had a lot of tricks.However, he will never know that he cannot get Pei Ting, because she still has me by her side. .

Every day I took Pei Ting to the classroom together, and we always sat next to each other, if other people wanted to get close. .Haha, there are no doors.

"Qixuan, why do you always protect Pei Ting like a flower protector? How can she have a boyfriend like you?" A female classmate sitting in the front row of me once told me this, but I didn't want to care about her.

When I turned my head to look at Peting, she actually smiled at me, very bright and sunny.Just because of her smile, I feel very good all day, warm and sweet, she probably likes the feeling of me protecting her, right?

still. .Did she feel the same way about me?

No, I can't think anymore, she's my sister, and we're still twin sisters. .It is wrong to think so. .

May 1998, 5 (Big Sun)

Pei Ting is so smart, she quickly finished the homework given by the teacher, and now she is sleeping beside me.But when I looked at these exercises, my mind was full of Pei Ting's beautiful face.

Haha, what do you say is beautiful?We look exactly alike, so to say it's narcissistic.

But, I actually don't think I'm beautiful. It's her who is really good-looking, not me. .She was so charming, so gentle, and the prettiest girl in the whole world.

I couldn't help myself, and kissed her secretly last night, and she was so sound asleep that she didn't realize it.What would she do if she knew?

Give me a slap, or. .Kiss me back?

I think too much, alas. . . .

Peting, I love you.

June 1998, 6 (Happy!)

Pei Ting said this to me just now: "Sister, why don't we both get married in the future, and then we buy a house, just the two of us living together, do you think it's okay?"

I said, "Okay, but why don't you want to get married?"

She said, "Because I like you, sister!"

like. .She said she likes me. .

My heart almost melted by her.

I'm so happy! !

At that moment, I had the urge to pull her into my arms and kiss her, but I quickly controlled it because I couldn't do it and it would scare her.

At that time, she will tell her mother, and then my mother will beat me to death, and will not even let me sleep with her.

July 1998, 7 (still very happy)

Pei Ting had menarche today. She has grown up and is a big girl, and I am a few months earlier than her.At that time, she pulled me into the bathroom and whispered to me: "I'm on my period."

After hearing this, I was so worried that I kept asking her if she was not feeling well, if she had changed sanitary napkins, if she knew how to use sanitary napkins, etc. I was even more afraid that she might be scared when she came here for the first time. Said: "When I grow up, I can protect my sister."

Hahaha!She said to protect me, what does that mean?

I danced with joy.

December 1998, 12 (shaking)

Am I dying?If I'm still sitting here, I think I'm going to freeze to death soon.Peting, are you okay?Do you miss me when you can't see me?

You told me last month that when the first snow came, we would have a snowball fight together, but what about now?

I am cold. .Peting, I'm really cold. .I can't do anything but sit here and keep writing in my diary, hoping to help keep me out of the cold.

How will you be after I'm gone?

I'm happy that I can't care about you anymore?

still. .Sad because you may never see me again for a long time to come?

I am cold. . .I don't want to die yet. .

December 1999, 2

Peting, I miss you. .

The couple who adopted me are very kind to me, they take good care of me, how about you?How are you?I want to see you, but I can't go back because I don't have any extra money with me.

I don't sleep well every night and I miss you.

Goodness see you, let me see you again, okay?

Even if I die immediately tomorrow, I am willing. .

Our mother drove me away, she said to me: "You will never see Peting again in your life, you pervert! Get out!"

She pushed me onto the train, and I just came here aimlessly.

I have sent you many letters, have you received them?If you get it, why don't you ever write back to me?

Did my mother tell you what I thought, which made you think I was a pervert too, so you didn't want to see me again or write me back?

December 1999, 6

I look forward to your reply.

I am much more silent than before.

I haven't laughed in a long time.

December 2002, 8

Should I feel hopeless?

Peting, how are you doing?

I dreamed of you, and dreamed that we were together every day as we were when we were young.

And why did you just disappear?

I love you, I love you, I love you. .

December 2006, 3

I am desperate.

I won't miss you anymore.

December 2015, 9

I am back.

December 2015, 11

Hou Zhongyang, you bastard!Just wait and see, I won't let you go!

Peting, what happened to you all these years?What happened to you? ?what happened to you ? ! ! !

December 2015th, 12 (Fuck you all!)

God! ! ! !My petine. .

What have you been through?Most of your hair has fallen out, you are smiling at me stupidly, your mouth is still drooling, is this still you?

You have scars all over your body, and red spots on your body. .

Then, you actually lost weight like this! ! !

Ahhhhh! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

The doctor told me not to approach you, I pushed them away, I hit them, you are my lover, how can I not approach you! ! !

I hold you tightly and hold you like this for the rest of my life, okay?

I don't care what terminal illness you have, you are mine, and I will take care of you for the rest of your life.

I protect you. .

I love you.

December 2015, 12

The doctor told me that your life is not long.

I stared blankly at you, wondering if I should say Merry Christmas. .

Because I am not happy at all. .

I love you.

December 2016, 2

Pei Ting, today is the Spring Festival, I brought you new clothes.

I'll dress you up nicely, okay?

Don't be afraid, with me here, don't be afraid. .

I live nearby, I come to see you every day, okay?

It's just that I can't accompany you at night, I can't sleep with you, the doctor here doesn't allow it.But don't be afraid, I will visit you every day, and I will spend time with you every day, okay?

I love you.

December 2016, 11

How nice we see each other every day.

I love you.

December 2017, 10

well. . . .You are crying and screaming and jumping again today, and I can't stop you.

I'm sorry Pei Ting, I can't let you bang your head on the wall, I feel bad, so I had to ask the doctor to give you a sedative and tie you to the bed.

I know you're uncomfortable being tied up, but I can't lose you.

Sorry, sorry, I love you.

December 2018, 5

I applied for a job as a bartender, and I might have to drink with those stinky men every day.But Peting, I promise you, I will only love you in my life.

I love you.

December 2019, 4

I've been a barmaid for almost a year now, and I've been paying attention to him for a long time.

This bastard is gay and happy, too many rich wives like him, so they insisted on giving him money, but he didn't notice me.

Peting baby, I can only see you in the morning now.I have to work in the afternoon and evening, so I will be with you in the morning, okay?

I love you.

December 2019, 5

I kill. . .I killed this so-called father.

He has not repented until now, he is worse than a beast, he deserves to die.

This dress is for you. Look, there is a red heart that I have stitched together on it, which represents my love for you, and also represents that this person is dead.

I avenged you.

I love you, love you very much.

December 2019, 5

You laughed again, but this time your smile was very different from usual, not the kind of smirk that doesn't understand anything.

Your smile this time is the same as when you were a child, it is a genuinely happy smile.

Do you understand what I mean?Hou Zhongyang is dead, and your broken heart is slowly healed, isn't it?Your heart has been mended by me, hasn't it?

Although it still has a lot of cracks, it still fits together, doesn't it?

I love you.

December 2019, 5

The animal-faced teacher who bullied you is dead.

Look, does this dress fit you well?for you.

I like to see you smile.

I love you and only you.

December 2019, 5

I need to hurry up, the police are investigating, another brute died today, there is only one left.

Pei Ting, if you know that I killed the third person, will you be happy for me?

I love you.

December 2019, 5

This beast is the most useless, begging me, and then he died with his eyes wide open like the first three beasts, but this one is particularly boring because he is incontinent.

I still have to clean the house for him, wasting my time.

But Pei Ting, I can't give you this last piece of clothing. .Because I want one for myself, and then you and I can wear the same clothes, just like couple clothes.

When I saw it on me, I actually smiled with satisfaction.

PS: I still cried when I killed the last brute, am I useless?Have I relented with these bloody brutes?

Ugh. . .

I don't want to either, but Pei Ting, for you, I would do anything.

I love you.

December 2019, 5

Today is our birthday, I bought you a cake.

I hope that we can be born in the same year, the same month and the same day, and we can die in the same year, the same month and the same day.

I love you.

When Leng Yu saw this, she turned back and saw that there were all blank pages. She thought this was the last page Hou Qixuan wrote in the diary, so she closed the diary.

She said to Huang Lin who was sitting next to her: "These diaries must be submitted to the court. With these evidences, Hou Qixuan can hardly fly."

Although the words were cold, a trace of regret could be heard slightly. .

Hou Qixuan wasn't bad by nature, and was kind by nature, but he ended up on this dead end.

In the end, should or should not?