Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

It's been a long time since I felt so comfortable.

78. Twins 16

"When Yanwu comes back, I want to go with you."

"You are the only remaining relatives of the other party, what are you going to do?"

"Even if the brothers have a good relationship, most of them will separate in the future. We are not close. It is enough to see that he is fine and know that he is alive and well."

"Really? You really think he's doing well?" I asked indifferently.Xiuwen didn't answer.

The recent situation of dislike of martial arts is obvious to all. Even if he wants to pretend to be forceful, I will not play a blind show with him.

Without the restraint of martial aversion, all of us can’t do anything. We are so lazy all day long. Because of the hot weather, we don’t dress neatly, don’t tie up our hair, our appearance is loose, and we don’t eat well.

Xiuwen didn't seem to understand me, he kept on talking about how cheap it is to travel together, but he couldn't get to the point, "I will only be alone when I leave," I reiterated.

"You don't miss the present day at all, and you don't miss me at all?" He asked one after another, "Or do you hate martial arts?"

I simply replied, "No."

Watching them get along is interesting, but there is nothing worth nostalgic about. The reason why I am willing to play a role in it is nothing more than wanting to get out as soon as possible.

Xiuwen asked sadly, "Then when will you leave?"

"soon."

It depends on how far the two of them have developed.

"If the person who asked you just now was Yanwu, and he wanted to go with you, would you agree?"

There was no difference in the answer, but just to amuse him, I deliberately said, "Not necessarily."

Xiuwen really sulked as I expected, venting his anger, he fished out many inch-long small fish from the stream, and I used them to cook a pot of fish soup.I said that if there were mushrooms in it, the soup would be thick and delicious. Xiuwen immediately stood up and said to look for it. As soon as he went, he couldn’t wait. I was hungry during the process, and the fish soup was already cooked. Well, I picked a few wild vegetables nearby and threw them down to cook. I first filled a bowl and drank them.When the fish soup in the bowl was almost gone, Xiuwen came out from the depths of the woods, his clothes were dirty, his expression was joyful, and he pinched a few white mushrooms in his hands.

When he approached, he found that I was eating, his joy was gone, he opened his mouth but did not speak, he casually tied his hem to his waist, rolled up his sleeves, and squatted by the stream to wash the mushrooms.

"I left half of it for you. I kept the washed wild vegetables and put them into the soup with the mushrooms. You can drink them when they are cooked."

He sat despondently by the fire, and threw the two things I mentioned into the pot at random.

"Don't leave it for me," I put down the bowl, "I'm full."

He just blamed himself constantly.

So I told him again that I just lied to him for fun, and I want to leave without taking anyone with me, and the same goes for being tired of martial arts.

"Actually, if you take me with you, you can relieve boredom on the road. Didn't you say that I am good at pleasing people?"

I laughed, "What can you relieve me of boredom? If a person is really lonely, no one can relieve him."

"Have you ever been like that?"

"I don't know. It's the same as reading a storybook. When you read other people's stories, you are moved to tears. Most of them are adding the protagonist's experience and emotions to yourself. I never make comparisons, so I can't talk about loneliness."

"If someone wanted to share some of the burden of the past for you, wouldn't you?"

"It's not that you don't want to, it's that the other party must not be able to understand it. Dividing the pain between two people, and only imposing the same burden on the other party may not relieve it. That's a kind of selfishness."

"I think it's similar to carrying water with a shoulder pole. I'm always afraid of dropping a bucket of water, and adding another bucket of water to the other end, even if it's equally heavy, as long as I can keep the balance, it's easier than before..."

I couldn't wait to finish listening to his long speech, and he said clearly: "I don't want to know anyone else's past, I just want to take care of myself. Conversely, I have no position to ask others to suffer for me. I am Don't care about other people's pain."

The soup was cooked quickly, because the ingredients were added later.I asked Xiuwen if the taste was bland and if salt was needed, and he said no.I dropped the next sentence, I will go for a walk, and then stepped into the woods.

It was cool in the forest, and I lost track of time as soon as I took a walk. Some leaves fell on the ground, and I picked them up when I saw beautiful ones. Later, I thought it was meaningless, so I threw all the leaves I collected on the ground and went back to the stream.

After thinking for a long time, Xiuwen should go back first, but I saw him sitting on the grass beside the stream with his knees hugged, staring into the distance in a daze, with the pots and bowls washed and placed aside.Xu Shi heard my footsteps, he looked back at me, I don't know if it was an illusion or something, I saw his eyes were slightly red.I don’t know why this look reminded me, and it reminded me of a deer in the forest fog I saw when I was on the road, peaceful and slightly sad.I couldn't help but stare at him, and then I saw that he was smiling the same as usual, "Let's hurry up, after so long, Wuwu will come back sooner or later, if he bumps into him... ..." He made a grimace on purpose, but he was not as energetic as before.

While tidying up the dishes swiftly, he murmured how it looked like an affair.

I laughed and scolded him for nonsense, and he laughed too, but stopped suddenly while laughing.

"Teach me, how can I not be lonely." He said, coming to me, kissing my forehead, cheeks and chin like raindrops.I didn't push him away or cater to him, he walked away from me with a look of frustration on his face.

"Is it enough?" I asked.

His young face was full of confusion, and he said, "I don't want to live alone." He wanted to leave the martial arts, but he was afraid of loneliness. He wanted me to keep him and give him a place to stay, but I had no obligation to meet his safety needs.

"Some things are learned over a lifetime of experience," I said. "No one can really teach you, and neither can I."

In my opinion, his behavior is more driven by domesticated instinct, like a confused and innocent animal.A little liking and a little desire constituted his offense, which was asking me for help, not threatening to ask for something. I was a little angry, but not too angry, at least I felt acceptable at that time.At that time, I didn't realize that there was a faint expectation for Xiuwen. If he and Yanwu had to choose one, I would rather he win.I was more receptive to Xiuwen than I expected.

Perhaps people are always looking for their own shadows in others in the process of communication.This is very ironic, I have always hated others to capture the phantom of the void from me, and I have unintentionally projected it on others.

"At your age, you should have learned to live alone."

79. Twins 17

Yanwu was seriously injured this time.He returned late at night, and fell into my arms without a word of explanation. His body was covered with blood, and he couldn’t see where the injury was. He couldn’t be allowed to lie down for a while. I only taught him to sit halfway on the bed, with his upper body leaning on me. He gently took off his clothes, the thin cloth was stuck together with dried blood, he lost consciousness and groaned in pain.I knew that he was seriously injured this time. He was covered in cuts and bruises at the beginning, and he hardly cried out in pain.

After a rough identification, we found that there were not many wounds on his back, only a deep knife wound on his back, the skin and flesh were cracked, and the bones were almost visible. I don't even know how he got up the mountain with such an injury. He barely survived.Xiuwen was half tempting and half intimidating. An old doctor was brought to his neck with a knife holder, bandaged, applied medicine, and poured the medicine down. Only a sum of money was needed to send the languid doctor down the mountain.

There are more than one wounds of martial fatigue, but that is the latest and deepest one. In addition, there are half-healed old wounds that have not been treated properly. They are black and red, showing the master's negligence. Taking care, I have never seen those injuries before, and they were added later, because we know that his health deterioration was not created overnight, and he returned with injuries every time he went down the mountain. He used to hide it and never said it.

Soon after the doctor left, Wu Yan developed a high fever.According to the doctor, he often cooled his forehead and changed the medicine. As long as he can wake up, the injury will not be life-threatening.For three days he was breathing weakly and his heart nearly stopped beating.

Xiuwen stayed on the sickbed day and night to take care of his elder brother. He changed the dressing and wiped his body very skillfully. He even lay down beside the bed when he was tired. Then I took over his work when he was very tired. That's the only important thing.He was relieved when the injury of martial aversion gradually faded, and he realized the embarrassment belatedly.

Xiuwen was so busy that he didn't take a shower for three days, I asked him to deal with it first, sitting on the edge of Yanwu's bed, fanning himself every now and then, probably knowing that he was refreshed, and Wuyan's brows slightly relaxed.After taking a shower, Xiuwen came to ask me where the grate was while wiping my hair.This is strange.

I said strangely: "Before you fell asleep on the ground and lay there for many days. I may not see you being so particular about it."

Xiuwen wrinkled his nose, "One moment at another, when he wakes up and sees my unkempt face, he will definitely ridicule me again. I don't want to see his face."

"It's under the tea table in the main room, go find it."

After a while he came in and sat with his knees far away from me, with the comb on his knees, combing his wet hair.

"Sit closer, I have something to ask you."

"In the same room, you can talk, I can hear you."

I didn't call him, and said: "You usually say you hate him, but now you don't seem to hate him."

"In any case, that is my last relative." Xiuwen said: "We don't like each other, he doesn't like me, and I don't want him to have a smooth life. We hate each other, but after all, we grew up together. It is impossible to let him die in vain."

"Do you want him dead?"

The naive confusion appeared on his face again: "He is dead, what should I do?"