Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

personal habits.He doesn't care about dust, insects and other things, he is not afraid of dirt, and he has no cleanliness, but he hates contact with people, and the degree of disgust is very deep.He never shakes hands, even if it's a normal courtesy, let alone a kiss on the cheek or a kiss on the hand, it just makes him sick.He avoided all contact with other people, as if he would be infected with a deadly germ if touched.

However, his psychological bottom line is much lower in front of me. This is due to my persistent attempts to touch him over the years. Of course, it will not be overdone. It is extremely rare, imperceptible, and makes him think it is an accident. try.desensitization therapy.Anyway, it was a pleasure for me to watch his reaction.Lately he's even become indifferent to my touches, making this little game much less interesting.

I once asked him the origin of this psychology, and he simply dismissed me with a two-word reason.

"Unclean."

These are his original words.

I wondered in my heart whether the Duke realized that he was also a member of the so-called "unclean" human beings.But on second thought, there should be.He is harsh to others, but he is even harsher to himself. He has always adhered to the concept of "man is born sinful and unclean", and believes that the older people are, the more sinful they are. If the whip cannot discipline them, they can only be punished with a knife Only by letting the sin flow away with the blood can one become a little bit cleaner.

"There is no creature uglier or more stupid than man." Also from the mouth of the Duke.He doesn't say he hates humans, but he can be regarded as very hostile.It just happened to be such a person, the domain under his rule was rich and abundant, and he was extremely loved by the people.In addition to his own ability, the emphasis on superficial skills is essential.When other people were present, he would never utter such negative and world-hating words. Even if there were some innocuous little problems of not being in touch with people, his overall image was always majestic and kind, plus he was handsome and well-behaved. Elegant and quick thinking, you can easily get the other party's favor.

A fine politician.May wish to judge so.

Over the years, he has maintained this disguise perfectly, but I seem to be an exception.

Since I was a child, the Duke was not afraid to show his true nature in front of me. No matter how cruel and bloody the content was, he would confide it to me with great interest.What can I do?You can only do your part as a child, listen honestly, express understanding, and keep your mouth shut.Whenever I did this, the next time he described it to me twice, it almost made me suspect that he was full of natural malice towards me, and would be willing to use these remarks to blacken my mind continuously.But from another perspective, if he thinks these words are the ways and principles that children must know when they grow up, it is not difficult to explain this behavior.

The Duke’s attitude in front of me seemed to have a special kindness towards me. He looked at me like an ignorant lamb with some potential, but I have no doubt that if this lamb violated something, he would also Don't hesitate to discipline, even if it is bloody and covered with scars.I was allowed to make one mistake, that is, the first time, after that the duke would give me his due understanding and lessons, and I would not make it again.At first, I occasionally had some disagreements with him, but later I almost agreed with him, because his teaching is irresistible and cannot be changed. It is useless to debate more, so why should I waste my words.

From the time I moved into the manor until another 14 years old, my negative attitude towards the Duke spread like wildfire in all aspects. As I gradually gave up arguing, his control over me became stronger and stronger. This is obviously a trade-off I regard it as a kind of wise concession. You see, people always have limits of ability, and you'd better just choose within the range of choices.

After staying in this magnificent manor for a long time, I, like the Duke, can appreciate the beauty of the garden.No matter what the season is, it can’t break its vitality. No matter when you look at it, there are always some flowers blooming proudly. No matter whether it is winter or autumn, even if the whole garden is covered with thick snow, there will be a branch sticking out in the corner. Come on.Things like flowers have never been unobtrusive and unpretentious. You can't make her uglier or more beautiful, she will always be what she should be.

On a sunny day in autumn, I was flying a kite in the garden. The last white butterflies in autumn were flashing among the flowers. I pulled the string of the kite in my hand and ran along the path in the middle of the marble-paved garden. The cool and dry wind blows up, and I walk slowly, backing up with my neck up and stretching the kite line. The spool is spinning in my hand, and the line is getting longer and longer until the kite shrinks into a very small space in the bright white sky. A brightly colored silhouette of a small one.

I played for about an hour, and then I accidentally turned my head and saw behind the glass windows of the corridor on the second floor, the Duke stood quietly and looked in this direction.I don't know how long he stood there, or what he saw, but after realizing his presence, I raised my arm and waved to him, and he smiled and waved back to me.It's just that I'm not sure if it was a smile, or an illusion caused by the light reflecting on the glass window, anyway, there is such a thing in my memory.

6. Duke 05

I don't often hear about my mother.

Compared with often hearing people around her praise Duke Baijia, her sense of existence is relatively thin. It’s not that everyone deliberately doesn’t mention her, but that she quietly skips the topic, like an old man who has passed away. In the image of the day, her color and music have faded away, becoming a small stain in the memory, which is neither painful nor itchy, and cannot arouse the interest of taking it out of the dusty locker of memory.This process can be unconscious, and people often think of her before they think of her, and their thoughts have already passed by like swallows.

The few pieces of jewelry left by my poor mother were so simple and plain that it could be said that they were completely inappropriate for the title of duchess. When I asked the older maid, according to her recollection, the lady was still alive At that time, she liked pure and simple clothes. She preferred white, and she mostly showed people in white dresses, but it was not rude, because even those simple jewelry were carefully designed and constructed, and they were much more expensive than some bright jewels. Her face was beautiful enough to overshadow the most expensive jewels.

And I'm not entirely convinced, on the grounds that if she's that good, why aren't people talking about it.The content of memory is always beautified by emotional conjectures. Perhaps it is because of the years of her death that the other characters of her have faded in people's hearts, and only a thin symbol of beauty remains.The maid said that because the lady is not sociable, she seldom leaves her room and rarely interacts with people unless it is during meal times, which makes the impression of people who do not have deep contact with her even more blurred. I am not a pure conspiracy theorist , but the image shown by my mother is so inconsistent with her status that I have to doubt it.

"What did father not say?"

"The Duke loves his wife very much and will not force her to do something she doesn't like."

"Isn't it boring for mother to be in the room all the time?"

Seeing me thinking, the maid hurriedly comforted me, fearing that my thoughts would overwhelm her, she said, "Madam likes to be quiet, has a gentle temperament and is kind to others. Read novels and poems, flower art, and occasionally paint a few oil paintings, and there was a picture painted by the lady in the duke's study, but it was taken away a long time ago." The maid's idea of ​​sad romanticism is In order to avoid seeing things and thinking about people, the Duke asked someone to take down the painting.I asked her to think about the time carefully, and she suddenly remembered that the painting had been taken down before the wife passed away and became pregnant.

I thanked her, told her to go about her own business, and then lost in thought.She tried her best to dispel my doubts, not necessarily for the purpose of maintaining the image of the mother in the hearts of the children, and it is naturally not my mother who has passed away for many years who can restrain her and keep her from being talkative.Then the only source must be the Duke.More than ten years after his wife passed away, the people around her still seem to be keeping secrets. How they got along with each other back then, and why they did this, I have no idea.

In fact, to be honest, I don't think he loves his mother very much, otherwise, even if he will be touched by the scene, how can he resist looking at her belongings one by one at a certain moment, looking back and touching those good times that have passed.Indeed, according to the duke's nature, if he had not had some special affection for my mother, he would not have married her and had me.He is the kind of person who knows restraint, but refuses to give in to some things.

I have always played a caring and precocious character, loving beautiful things, interested and curious about the world, straightforward and openly adventurous, this is the image I created for myself.I once asked the Duke about my mother, but he always glossed over it lightly and refused to go deeper, but I always let him be considerate, but at this age, I can still be fooled by light words , without going deep into the past of the biological mother, it is undoubtedly too abnormal.

So I took one day, we were both in the garden, and I asked him, "You don't tell me much, but I would like to know, what kind of person is my mother?"

The Duke didn't seem surprised, and slowly picked up the teacup and sipped his black tea, "When you asked the maid a few days ago, I expected you would ask me this question."

I smiled and complained paradoxically: "Because you seldom tell me about my mother. What kind of person she is, what she likes to do, how you met, until now I don't know anything. In the manor I can't find