Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

Retrieve some of the original state.This is what I appreciate most about Allen.

From this world, I learned one thing: the world is a vast concept, far more complicated than I imagined.The world is not so good, and it may not be that bad. Outside of my trivial life, there are too many existences that break my cognition.

I think I have experienced a lot, but in retrospect, it is only the length of life, not the depth.I gradually became withdrawn and tended to live alone. In other words, I isolated myself. No matter how many worlds I lived, I was curled up in the solid shell I created.

In the final analysis, it was I who put up a barrier for myself first, and I had no intention of actively exploring the whole world and contacting others.When I close myself, the world closes before me.Allen made me see a possibility - there are always good things.I shouldn't measure everything in the future with the eyes of the past.No matter how many places I have traveled, it is not a real travel without real communication with people.

The important thing is not to write down my experiences exactly, storing too many memories is not good for me, neither is accumulating too much negative energy.

So after the fifth world, I decided not to record anymore.Even if you can't experience it personally, at least learn more about other lives, which is much more conducive to growth than just holding on to the past.

The world after waking up is no brighter than any other place, and the scenery is not particularly beautiful. It is ordinary, like any world I have experienced.It's hard to tell the difference between these worlds, or if they don't differ at all, real or unreal, where your consciousness is is where you are.

I don't think about complex philosophical issues. There is only one path left for me now-to figure out the reason for my endless travel.I used to think that I just wanted to live freely, but that wasn’t enough. I didn’t know the meaning of my existence, I had no goal, no direction, which made me extremely easy to get lost. Once I was hit, my temperament would change drastically.This is not the way, if this change continues, one day the person who is still alive will no longer be me.

For the universe, I have always held a kind of agnosticism. I may not be able to understand the meaning of my wandering until I really die, so before that, I decided to give myself a clear guideline to guide me how to face the next trip, so as to To ensure that the most core part of me is not obliterated.For now, I think the most useful thing is to maintain my identity and moral standards as a human being. I have to walk with people.

I can change and adapt to the times, but there are always some boundaries that cannot be crossed. Once I regard the human beings around me as worthless, I will fall into endless arrogance and loneliness without the same kind, and my personality will be completely corroded and wiped out in loneliness.Therefore, from a certain point of view, I should thank Alan, who reminded me of the shining part of humanity and freed me from my frozen state of mind, although he cannot be fully regarded as a member of human beings.

Good quality, like a warm old sweater.You may find it not that cool, maybe even a bit outdated, but that soft touch, the gentle comfort it provides.Now that I'm convinced that apathy is not all emotionless, then I have to stick to the bottom line, which can help me go further.

Occasionally I have dreams about the deep sea, they become more and more clear and real, and sometimes I feel that I am in a certain place under the sea, sleeping and awake, until the lights flicker, I dive up with my arms, floating with many of myself to the water.These strange dreams seem to be closely related to my destiny, driving me to read various books and materials.I can't count on science, but theology occasionally gives me interesting hypotheses.

Some myths say that the entire universe is a dream of God. When he sleeps, all living beings are vividly visible; when he opens his eyes covered with long eyelashes, all things are annihilated.

This is a way of saying it.

There is also a saying that some ancient old gods sleep on the seabed, and the immortal spirit threads will attract the most paranoid and twisted souls, and it will go there, collect these souls, crush them and suck them.

Unauthorizedly substituting myself into the mythology, the fantasy is a thread of the incarnation of the gods. It sounds really arrogant, but a certain clue of these stories coincides with my experience by chance. I don’t know right or wrong, I don’t know where I come from, Sometimes there's nothing wrong with doing a little more research and fantasizing.

And right now, I'm walking down the sunny street, walking across the square with a glass of iced drink in my hand.A little girl ran past me with a red balloon, and pigeons flew all over the ground.Her mother followed slowly, her temple hair was tied into a bun, her face was beautiful, her smile was cold, and from one side she looked like Liangzi.They all passed by me.

A girl in a green dress is waiting for someone in front of the fountain; a young father is helping his son to ride a bicycle, the training wheels on it have not been removed; a middle-aged woman is pushing a small cart on the street to sell black rice cakes.I sat down on the edge of the flower bed and quietly admired these plain pictures until night fell as expected.

Soon after, it was time to fall asleep again.

I will wake up from the bottom of the sea again, look up at the bright yellow lights on the sea surface, and form a bond with another world.And I am not afraid, as the writer said: There is no place that does not make him tired, so he keeps going; because there is nowhere to go, he can go anywhere.And always under the stars.

105. Postscript

postscript

After a long time, I finally finished this novel.Everyone who can still see the ending after two or three years, needless to say, it is all fate!

I am very grateful to everyone who has been leaving messages in the comment area. I am a person who is not very motivated. If no one is watching or urging me, I will lose the sense of urgency to write and become more lazy.Even though the update is very slow now, I still have the consciousness in my heart from time to time, and I must write it down when I have time.So thank you all for interacting!

Maybe this ending will seem rushed to some comrades, but I originally planned to write five worlds without beginning and end, and then shelved it, no longer continue to explain all the facts, and let all unknown things be unknown, leaving Daydreams are more fun.

At the beginning, it was sent out as an exercise. The more I write, the more I feel that the writing is weak. There are two biggest problems:

1. When I look back after writing a whole story, I will suddenly realize that the plots, emotions, and details are not consciously similar to those of my favorite books, even though I haven’t read those novels at all during the writing process.

This point can often be seen in the comments. The beginning is like Disqualification in the World; the second story is like a letter from a strange woman and Wuthering Heights; the third has the shadow of Fight Club.This is all a sign of immature writing.

I still remember a passage in Carroll, which roughly means that inexperienced novel writers will pick up fragments from memory to build a nest. In fact, your results are all pieced together from impressions of other works. .Even if it barely becomes a story, there will be shadows of others everywhere.

Since then, I have tried my best to avoid recalling the novels I have read during the writing process, and once I realize that such emotions and plots are written by predecessors and have been written very well, I will change them.However, there is another problem:

2. I hate using my brain, so once the plot is conceived, some old-fashioned ideas that I take for granted will appear in my mind without thinking. All the ideas are easily foreseeable and have nothing new.

I'm not good at using my brain. When I write a composition, I always write a beginning excitedly, and write a random essay. However, it is not so simple to write a story. It is necessary to make an outline first to be able to grasp the overall plot and emotion.In addition, use less clichéd plots or brushstrokes that jump to your mind at the first time.

This is my personal problem, and the reason why I write it is because I want to see that some of you here are also interested in writing, and it would be great if I can touch you a little bit.

Next, I still want to write. Even though I am lazy, I feel scratchy if I don’t write for a long time, and I must come up with something.Because of the character of the protagonist, this article cannot be too intense, and many places are a bit mysterious. I want to write a protagonist with a sharper personality in the next article.

Think of him as crazier, with a brutal personal will, it doesn't matter what he does, he does everything for fun.Cold, but cute when he smiles.Not afraid of acting, every move has an attractive quality, he didn't do it on purpose, but other people's eyes will look at him, not only think he is perverse and violent, but also feel that he is lovable and wants to be controlled.

The next copy has been opened, and those who are interested can take a look.So this article ends here, and comrades can also come to my big-eyed boy health account: Chaos-Chaos.Fraud from time to time.Maybe in the future I will post some of the books I usually read.

Because a friend asked, here are some small books that I personally like.

Gadfly

Carmen

Wuthering Heights

Letter from a strange woman

Receiving

Shanyueji (recommended the classic version of Guomai)

Milky Way Railway Night

Madman's Diary

boxing Club

Heart (Natsume Soseki)

Onmyoji (Dream Pillow Tapir)

The most beautiful drowning man in the world

Basically, they are familiar works.In fact, my reading is extremely divided, either purely peaceful and beautiful works, or extremely emotional, so the recommendations are almost these two categories.

Then, see you next time~