Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

At that time, he couldn't help but wonder, "Father, why are you here?"

"Who are you talking to?" His voice was full of suspicion and dark fire.

"No one." I said, "It's a bit stuffy in the room, I'll come out to blow some air."

"I hope you don't lie to me." The Duke's voice was gentle and polite, but anyone who was close to him knew his true temperament hidden under his gentle appearance. No one wanted to make him angry, and I certainly didn't want to.

"No. A poem just occurred to me and I couldn't help but say it out loud." To add credibility, I read two lines that came to mind at random, "A man has two mes, one in the dark Awake, one sleeps in the light."

"Go back to sleep, your clothes are dirty." The Duke's expression softened, and he told me, frankly speaking, his mood has gradually become unstable these days, I can't figure out what's going on, even though he Trying to restrain himself from showing abnormalities, I can just see his anxiety.After all, we have been together for too long, so it is not difficult to understand the feeling of understanding each other in detail. I hope he can deal with his own problems earlier, otherwise I may be the one who suffers.

"Okay." I agreed, breathed a sigh of relief, and walked sideways past the Duke.

"Stop," snapped the Duke, picking up a long red hair from my shoulder.

hell.that hug.

"I repeat one last time, who were you with just now?" he pressed further, which made me start to fret.

"I don't understand, father. What's all the fuss about it, maybe it was just left by the laundrymaid."

"Red-haired girl," the Duke guessed softly, "If I remember correctly, her name is 'Penelope'? Silent, steadfast, she has a good name, and her behavior is not so shameful. Trespassing on the Duke late at night Territory, let me think about it, what kind of consequences will this cause her?"

"Where did she come in from?"

I bowed my head and said nothing, the Duke already understood everything, "Of course she came around from behind, she is very enthusiastic about the private meeting." The Duke held my chin with his hand and forced me to look up into his eyes , the strength almost made me feel pain, "This is the second time you have disobeyed me for her, maybe more than that. Lied to your father, she corrupted your character like this. You know, I always feel that the land in the back is vacant It's too obtrusive, I let it stay only because you like me, maybe I should call someone to rebuild it now, maybe I can catch a red-haired mouse from it."

"Why are you so angry? Father." I asked, "I'm not a child anymore. I just have a girlfriend. Why do you care so much?"

"Because I am your father, I am qualified and obliged to discipline you from going astray."

"But I didn't. Father. My behavior is normal, so what if I was with Penelope, young men and women dating, compared with murder and other crimes. You kill hundreds Why are you so angry when thousands of people ordered you to order?” I asked.

The Duke's anger is like a flame that has been suddenly frozen. The hollow burning anger is still strong, but it seems to be blocked from me, and I no longer face its heat directly.He stared deeply into my eyes, I looked at him, and saw the starlight reflected in his eyes, his expression revealed the pain and self-loathing like suffering, like a monk who sees the bright stairs descending from the pure land and withdraws from his eyes The ups and downs, the pain is beyond words, I don't understand the origin of the burning emotion, I don't know what kind of torment he is suffering, I just wonder how my words can cause such great harm to him.And I really don't have any excessive words.

11. Duke 10

"Why can't you obey my arrangement obediently? I can make your life bright and decent, and teach you to always be clean and keep your hands free from blood." He asked me, disappointed and confused.

"But what does it mean to be bright and decent? I have my own preferences, and no one can thoroughly understand every detail of my thoughts, not even you." I took a step forward and took the Duke's hand between my hands Put it on my chest and look at him intently, "You know I love you, I am willing to learn cumbersome things for you that I am not interested in, I can compromise and dress according to your preferences, you can even teach me how to speak and act, but always There is something you cannot grasp, and neither can I, and that is my heart. In some important matters, I can only act according to its tenacious whisper, whether you like it or not."

The Duke's body seemed to be stiff, and he maintained the previous posture for a while, without pulling his hand back, but let it stay in my palm, and I hugged it like a frozen swallow. "Why don't you believe that what I do is good for you?"

"But that's not my own will."

"Tell me, do you want to marry her?"

"It's all right."

"Out of love?"

"Maybe." I replied ambiguously.The dew in the grass at the feet wets the trousers, giving it a slight coolness.Love, of course not. Penelope and I are far from that. We are just short-lived and rare playmates. People in the world often regard marriage as sacred. What an ideal marriage.She's in trouble, and I'm protected by the duke, and whoever she tries to refuse can do me no harm.If I follow the rules, even if it is not her, someone will step into my life, and the next person may not be as open as her.

With a sudden movement, I opened my hand, and the Duke withdrew it, brushing the curly hair on my sideburns for me. His fingertips were soaked with my temperature, and they were not so cold for a while. "Will you leave me one day?" He asked sadly, before I could answer, his eyes passed through me and looked at the delicate roses crawling on the wall behind me, staring for a long time. "Sometimes, I would rather you be sick than be healthy. Sickness will destroy your body and make your mind supple. You will know that there are not only flowers in the outside world, but also deadly insects and germs. Sleep peacefully in my garden. "

I felt a tinge of restrained displeasure at his words.I knew that he loved me, but I never expected that he would put such words into his mouth. I didn't know that a father's love for his child would be so selfish, and he would not hesitate to use harm as the price to keep him. Maybe it's just that he is special.I never fully experienced loving and being loved, and neither did he, so this is how he loves.Or maybe it wasn't love, but just his condescending affirmation of his own ownership, which I couldn't tell the difference, nor how to respond appropriately.

In the distance, a mournful bird song came from nowhere, breaking his tranquility. "Come on, come back with me."

"Will you agree to my engagement to Penelope? If I ask you."

"I will leave you to fate, and she will decide for me whether you will stay or not," said the Duke.Like a compromise.And I just forgot that the Duke never compromised.

In the afternoon of the second day, I ordered the servant to deliver a letter to Penelope. The servant returned after a long time and replied that the letter had been delivered. When I asked about the reply, only a message told me that she knew it.Such a flat response was out of Penelope's character, and it was unlikely that she would just give me a fluffy message on something so extraordinary about her future path.

I waited for about three or four days without seeing anything, and then sent someone out to ask questions. The reply was still that everything was fine. This time it was quite obvious that something must have happened, and the Duke ordered them not to let me know. .Typical ducal approach.I have had many disputes with him recently. This is not what I want to see. I used to act according to his will and did not see how happy he is. Now, after his wishes are contrary to conflicts, I realize that he used to be amiable enough to challenge above this. His authority, the consequences are unknown, anyway, it will not be very good.Thinking of this, I put aside my negotiations with Penelope, so that the Duke's attitude towards me will be the same as before.

This matter was shelved for a long time, and it was not until a few months later that the Duke took me to another banquet, when I talked with friends I knew relatively well, that I learned that Penelope's father had been demoted for accepting bribes, and the whole family had been dismissed. He was relocated to a remote area. Fortunately, the duke was kind enough to not take away his official position and life.I don't know if the bribery is true or not, but there is no doubt that the family was angered by the Duke because of Penelope's close association with me.I was stunned when I first heard it, but when I thought about it later, what the Duke said that day about handing me over to fate was all pretentious, and he wanted to forcefully act as the executor of fate.

I am not mad at him.If I have to say, Penelope really can't help her, but I am very embarrassed, apart from my slight apology to her, I am more concerned about the Duke's attitude.His desire to maintain our status quo was evident in every way, and I was interested in his refusal to leave me, or that someone else would attempt to replace my dependence on him.

From any perspective, the Duke cannot but be called a completely independent and autonomous existence. He is used to controlling the surrounding situation, predicting the direction of events, and thus guiding himself to victory. This is a rigid requirement of his position.On the other hand, I secretly suspect that his childhood experience made him always have a strong distrust of intimacy. He cannot trust the other party's loyalty, but yearns for pure loyalty, and the long-term controlling position has intensified his control Desire, when the two are superimposed on each other, acts on our relationship and creates today's situation.

odd