give me a hug

The sudden string of garbled characters attracted the attention of all group members as soon as it appeared.

The hero of the school: [Hmm?Did it accidentally hit the phone? 】

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [Jiaran, you sent the wrong message hahahaha, look at what you posted @X. 】

The hero of the school: [Not here, I guess I accidentally crushed it (spreading helplessly)]

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [Stupid you, what are you pressing on, you put your phone in your butt pocket in class? 】

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [@X.I thought you didn't know how to play with your mobile phone in class, hehehe/circling/circling/circling]

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [We are going to play ball with classmate Liang Ge later, Xie Jiaran, do you want to come together?It doesn't matter if you don't fight, come and sit, you can watch the fun. 】

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [Hey, where are people?Why is it gone again? 】

Li Tang yelled at Xie Jiaran several times but did not get a response.

Liang Suinian's expression froze, feeling that something was wrong.

With Xie Jiaran's usual personality and style, the probability of posting wrong garbled codes to the group for no reason is extremely low, and the probability of not withdrawing or explaining the mistake after posting it is even lower.

He quit the WeChat group, opened the separate chat box with Xie Jiaran, sent several messages, and patted his profile picture one after another, but got no response.

His fingertips tapped the table unconsciously.

Just as he was thinking about whether to make a direct phone call, there was a crisp sound of something falling to the ground in the corridor behind him.

Looking back through the sound, he happened to see an all-too-familiar figure walking quickly past the door.

Xie Jiaran was holding a book in his arms, and the movement of lowering his head made it difficult to see his expression clearly, but it was still easy to judge his haste and uneasiness from the slightly hasty steps.

The thin figure quickly disappeared from sight, and Liang Suinian frowned fiercely.

I was glad that I ran into him by chance, but I couldn't help but feel some inexplicable irritability in my heart.

Why didn't he tell him immediately when something happened?

Su Past Years: 【I have something to go first, I can't be with you anymore, you go to the stadium by yourself in a while. 】

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [Ah?What happened so suddenly? 】

In the past years: [Family affairs. 】

The cute ghost Li Xiaotang: [? ? ? 】

Li Tang looked confused, raised his head and looked at the back door, only to find that the seat near the door was already empty.

He didn't catch up with anyone when he went downstairs, and no one answered the phone call. Liang Suinian clicked his tongue and could only put away his phone and rush back to the dormitory as quickly as possible.

It wasn't until I opened the door and saw Xie Jiaran that I finally let go of most of my heart that was hanging all the way.

Good luck not losing anyone.

However, soon, he found that he was relieved too early.

Xie Jiaran's situation is something wrong that is visible to the naked eye.

He hunched over and sat in the seat almost in a curled up position.

Holding his white bear doll tightly in his arms, he buried his head very low, trying to endure something, trembling almost invisible all over his body.

Stubborn, stubborn, vulnerable and helpless.

Liang Suinian took a breath, as if his heart was clenched violently by both hands.

He didn't even bother to worry about why the other party's thirsty skin attack occurred but he didn't tell him. He walked to him and squatted down next to him in three steps, his face anxious: "Of course, what's the matter? Is it uncomfortable?"

Hearing Liang Suinian's voice, Xie Jiaran froze.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Liang Suinian, with a blank expression in his eyes: "...Brother?"

The voice is low and hoarse, hiding weak dependence.

If Hengyuan was in his heart, then the piece belonging to Liang Suinian must have completely dissolved and collapsed at this moment.

"Well, it's me."

He held Xie Jiaran's face carefully, and lowered his voice very softly, as if he was afraid that a loud voice would scare him: "Of course, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here."

The palm was rubbed lightly, and Liang Suinian couldn't help but slow down his breathing.

He coaxed the boy in front of him patiently, touched his cheek, rubbed the back of his neck, and wanted to hug him like every time before.

Unexpectedly, just when the fingertips were about to touch the shoulder, the other party suddenly raised his hand and pushed it away.

As if waking up from a dream, Xie Jiaran stood up with the doll in her arms, staggered back a few steps to keep a distance from him, and looked at him with wide eyes in panic.

Liang Su Nian didn't know, so he froze in place.

However, when he reacted and got up and wanted to approach again, Xie Jia backed away again.

Liang Suinian suddenly had the feeling of being poured over his head by a basin of cold water mixed with ice stubble.

He looked at Xie Jiaran who was pale but refused to let him approach, and rarely felt a sense of panic and helplessness.

After opening my mouth several times, I finally managed to find my own voice: "Of course, what's wrong?"

Xie Jiaran hugged the doll in her arms tightly, as if holding the only life-saving straw at the moment: "No, brother, I can't hug you."

Liang Suinian was puzzled: "Why not?"

Xie Jiaran explained to him in a low voice at a distance of a few steps: "Dr. Michel said that when the disease flares up, relying too much on one person to relieve the symptoms will not do me any good."

"If I want to get better, if I want to be cured, I have to keep my distance from you."

"No more contact with you, no longer accepting your hugs, until one day I don't need you at all, maybe my illness will be cured."

For some reason, as Xie Jiaran's words fell, Liang Suinian suddenly felt a little out of breath.

He thought that he had always answered in the affirmative to the question "do you want him to heal", but at this moment, he found that his self-confidence seemed to have gone wrong.

Looking at the corners of Xie Jiaran's eyes that were blushing because of forbearance, he seemed to be taken away in an instant.

Just like... like when he was still young and his parents went out hand in hand for their wedding anniversary, leaving him alone at home.

No one called when I slept, so I woke up naturally and saw that it was dark outside.

There was no light turned on in the house, and he was alone at home. In the room, the whole person was enveloped in darkness and silence.

The mood back then was almost the same as it is now.

wrong.

Now he is even more empty and confused than that time, and he is even more at a loss.

Something important was passing through his fingers so fast that he couldn't hold it.

Xie Jiaran grabbed Bai Xiong's ears, lowered his eyes to stay on Liang Suinian's hands that were clenched so tightly that the veins appeared for two seconds, and then turned back to his face tenderly.

"elder brother."

He looked into his eyes and said softly, "You always hoped that I could recover, didn't you?"

Taking off, shooting, being robbed, the hem was dunked into the ball frame, and the basketball hit the ground heavily with the impact of inertia, making a muffled sound.

This is already the third ball that Xiao Chi has been robbed by violence.

"Brother Liang, why are you beating so fiercely? My little heart is almost overwhelmed."

Xiao Chi wanted to cry without tears: "We are just exercising after class, not playing in the NBA!"

Liang Suinian didn't say a word, he took off the bounced ball and dunked it at close range, the muffled sound of the basketball hitting the ground sounded again, several people around looked at each other, no one dared to go forward to catch it.

They had already been beaten to the point where they could not fight back.

Xiao Chi bit his cheek with toothache, and stepped back silently: "Brother Liang, what's wrong, did you take the wrong medicine?"

Li Tang and Shen Xuehao shook their heads tacitly and synchronously: "I don't know, it was fine just now in class, after leaving for a while, it will be like this when I come back."

"I always feel that this scene is deja vu."

Chen Wenyao rubbed his chin and thought: "To be honest, my second uncle has a friend, and he seemed to be like that when his wife just ran away? Hmm...it seems not so serious."

"You mean Brother Liang did this because his wife ran away?"

"The probability is very small, but it's not impossible. Besides, didn't Brother Liang say he was going to deal with family affairs?"

"...Can you be more reliable?"

"Hey, it's halftime!"

Xiao Chi pushed the people around him: "Hurry up and find someone!"

Liu Maomao squinted at him with his hands in his hands: "Why don't you go?"

Xiao Chi shrank his neck: "Forget it, I'm a coward. If I accidentally find out the thunder point, I'm afraid that Brother Liang will directly punch me on the forehead."

"Coward."

Liu Maomao sneered, and pressed the top of his head: "Okay, just wait, I'll ask."

Liang Suinian was drinking water with his back to the court, his Adam's apple rolled up and down with the movement of swallowing, and a thin layer of sweat oozed from his forehead, slowly gathering between his furrowed eyebrows.

When he rarely had a cold face, the alienation and indifference born of his bones finally appeared between his brows, mixed with unresolved irritability.

Without his usual good-natured appearance, Liang Suinian's sense of distance is full at this moment, and it seems that he is not at all easy to get close to.

"Brother Liang, what's the matter?"

Liu Maomao strolled over to stand side by side with him, and reached for his bottle of water: "Are you in a bad mood?"

Liang Suinian did not speak.

The corners of the mouth that were usually drawn straight at this moment, with his head down, he didn't know what he was thinking.

Liu Maomao didn't care, and complained on his own: "Do you know what Chen Wenyao said just now?"

"He said that if someone like you, Brother Liang, were to be placed in their village, it would be like losing your wife. Listen to the bamboo shoots, Brother Liang, are you going to clean up?"

After speaking, he raised his head and took a sip of water, completely oblivious to the unnatural pause in Liang Sunian's movement of unscrewing the bottle cap in the middle of his speech.

"So what's going on?"

Liu Maomao smacked his lips and put down the water bottle, and elbowed him gently: "Can you talk to brother?"

After contacting the sporadic information he had just received, he pondered for a while and asked tentatively, "Is it a family matter?"

Liang Suinian shook his head: "No."

"Oh, so it's just that you're in a bad mood?"

Liu Maomao didn't ask any more questions. He patted him on the shoulder and tried to infect him with a relaxed tone: "Isn't it the daily troubles of an adult man? I understand, it's a small scene, just play two more balls."

"If it doesn't work, let's go out and play with him on the weekend. To be honest, Huashan is so big and so beautiful. I went there twice and didn't play it. Why don't we go again?"

As Liu Maomao brought up a new topic, Liang Suinian finally responded.

He turned to look at him, unconsciously repeated in a low voice: "Huashan...?"

"Yes."

Seeing something interesting, Liu Maomao chased after the victory: "When we went back to class activities for the first time, you left in the middle, you didn't know how difficult it was for us to play, the land was unfamiliar, and you wanted to go shopping everywhere—hey, No, Brother Liang, where are you going!"

"It's something, stop fighting, you guys play slowly."

Without waiting for Liu Maomao's response, Liang Suinian put down the water bottle, turned and strode away.

In the distance, a few enthusiastic people watching from the other side were dumbfounded.

As soon as the person left, he immediately cheered and surrounded him.

Xiao Chi: "Liu Maomao, what's the matter with you, I asked you to inquire about the news, why did you lose your popularity?"

"I'm not angry with him." Liu Maomao was extremely innocent.

"Then why did Brother Liang leave in such a hurry all of a sudden? Where is he going?"

"how could I know?"

Liu Maomao bit his cheek and looked at the direction Liang Suinian left, with no fewer question marks than them: "Could it be that you really went after your wife?"

Liang Suinian took the shortest route back to the dormitory, walking quickly, and finally ran straight away.

His ears were full of hula-la-la-la-la, and he had scolded himself bloody in his heart.

Liang Suinian, are you an idiot?

Knowing Xie Jiaran was unwell and leaving him alone in the dormitory, have you forgotten what happened the last time you rushed back from Huashan overnight?

Don't you know how uncomfortable he will be when he is sick?

I don't know if his symptoms are serious, he will have a fever?

If you are told to leave, you will leave. Don't you have a brain? !

Or is it useless other than being a decoration with an open mouth to eat?

He was so irritable that he patted his forehead hard, praying that Xie Jiaran was okay, and rushed all the way back to the dormitory panting, but in reality he deliberately brought out the worst result to oppose him.

Xie Jiaran has a fever.

The person who was left alone in the dormitory was drowsy and fell asleep on the table. After being woken up, he was still sleepy and tired, looking at him with half-opened eyes.

The white bear doll fell to the ground, and he was still holding the phone in his hand.

"Brother, I feel so uncomfortable..."

With a hoarse voice, he said weakly, "I wanted to call you, but I was so uncomfortable and sleepy that I didn't even know when I fell asleep..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry!"

Liang Suinian kept apologizing, never had such a strong urge to beat him up.

"It's because I didn't take good care of you. May I take you to the hospital?"

He touched his hot cheek, blamed himself, and was even more distressed: "When you get better, beat me up, whatever you want, if I dare to hide, you can call my mother Say I bullied my classmate, let her come over and beat you up."

Xie Jiaran wanted to laugh.

But he was too dizzy and uncomfortable, and he had to try hard not to throw himself into his arms, and the remaining strength was afraid of wasting even pulling the corners of his mouth.

"I can't bear to beat you."

He muttered softly, propped his head on the table and raised his head: "Where's my bear?"

He had to find something to hold his hand, otherwise he would always want to hug him.

Liang Suinian picked up the bear, but did not pass it to Xie Jiaran.

"Of course, the bear has been dropped on the ground and it's already dirty."

He took this as a high-sounding excuse, put the bear out of Xie Jiaran's reach, and spread his hands to him: "Don't hug it, hug me, okay?"

Xie Jiaran looked at him sideways.

After a while, he hesitated and stretched out his hand.

But in the end, it only stayed in his palm for a short while.

"No."

As if scalded by something, he quickly retracted his hand.

The revolution has not yet succeeded, and luckily the remaining sanity is still functioning.

It's a pity that the brief touch not only failed to relieve his sadness, but made him suffer from the symptoms even more.

The lower lip was bitten white, and a thin layer of forbearing sweat gradually oozes from the forehead.

"Can't hug, can't hug."

He was breathing out of order, closed his eyes and opened them again, his sensory system hovered silently on the verge of collapse, and he didn't know whether he was convincing him or himself.

He persisted and refused to compromise, Liang Suinian felt as if his chest was clogged by something, and it was swelling to the limit.

He suddenly didn't understand why he helped him find a psychiatrist in the first place.

Just to make him so sad and tortured now?

"Ran Ran."

As soon as Liang Suinian opened his mouth, he realized that his voice was unbearably hoarse, and his throat was constricted and sore that it hurt.

He coaxed him almost beggingly: "Today doesn't count, let's start from next time, okay?"

"But what if I'm still like this next time, or worse? Push it to the next time, the next time?"

Xie Jiaran clenched her wrists, and her nails had red marks on her skin: "Brother, as you said, you can't stay with me all the time. Sooner or later, we will have a day of graduation and separation. How will you help me at that time?"

He lowered his eyes and didn't look at him: "The doctor said, it's still too late to quit. If I leave you alone, my situation will only be worse than it is now after I leave you."

"Since we have to separate sooner or later, I must learn to quit relying on you. You also said that you really want me to recover, right?"

"If my illness can't be cured in the end, I always have to shift the target of my dependence and find another person who can help me—"

Xie Jiaran's words stop here.

Before the end sound fell, he was grabbed by the wrist and pulled into a broad embrace.

The familiar smell made him extremely greedy and fascinated, like an addiction, once touched, he couldn't extricate himself.

"Of course, I regret it! I take back everything I said before, and I don't want you to recover at all!"

The thing blocking Liang Sunian's chest finally exploded.

Xie Jiaran's gaze that wanted to get closer but tried his best to bear it, because of the deep and shallow finger marks on his wrist that he pinched forcefully, every word he uttered from his mouth...

They are enough to detonate the fuse that destroys everything.

It was only then that Liang Suinian realized that his bottom line of patience was so low.

He finally uttered these words completely and honestly, and his emotions were like a flood that opened the gate.

All those long-suffering, impulsive, suppressed, aware but not sure emotions, all poured out.

"However, I don't want you to recover at all, I don't want you to no longer need me, and I don't want you to transfer any dependent targets."

Like an unknown astronomer who finally discovered a new planet and couldn't wait to announce it to the world, he almost urgently expressed all the turmoil in his heart at this moment.

"When I think about how you might treat others like me, hug him, kiss him, and call him brother... I can't wait to throw that man into the Pacific Ocean and drop [-] atomic bombs in it."

"Of course, you just think that what I said before is all nonsense, nonsense, and fart."

"We don't need to be separated! I can stay with you all the time, or stay with you all the time. You can hug, kiss, scold, beat, whatever you want."

"As long as you want, I can always be by your side and serve you anytime, anywhere!"

The heartbeat was faster than normal.

plop, plop

—it also seemed to be applauding his belated candor.

Xie Jiaran didn't respond.

After a long time, he slowly raised his head from his arms while supporting his chest, staring straight into his eyes: "Brother, what do you... want to say?"

"I want to say, I like you."

Liang Suinian panted heavily, as if he was afraid that he would not be able to hear clearly, and bit every syllable very clearly: "Of course, I like you."

"I like it very much, I like it very much."

"It's not the love of roommates, nor the love of brothers, it's the kind of love that I want to be with you all the time, the kind that can do the most intimate things with you justifiably, it's the kind that I want to be your boyfriend like!"

The emotion of liking someone for the first time is too strong, and I always feel that the description in words is too thin, and what I say is less than one hundred thousandth of what I want to express.

He pressed against his forehead, wishing he could pass on all the thoughts in his heart to him in this way.

"I'm not as smart as you think. I'm stupid and dull. I liked it a long time ago, but I haven't found out after so long."

"Fortunately, I was lucky and didn't procrastinate to the point of no return. Fortunately, you are not married yet, and I don't have to think about such stupid questions as "Why are you married and the groom is not me" at your wedding."

"Of course, I just found out that I'm sick too."

He cherished his cheeks, and rubbed his fingertips against the end of his eyes: "It's all infected by you, I can't live without you now, if I don't hold you for a day, I might suffocate in place, you have to be responsible for me .”

"Of course, don't want me, okay?"

I want to always be by your side, I want to always be there for you when you are in trouble.

So, don't need me, okay?

The satisfaction of skin-to-skin contact gave Xie Jiaran the best emotional comfort.He grabbed his shoulders and rubbed against his palm imperceptibly,

His eyebrows stretched, and he just quietly looked at Liang Sunian who was anxiously waiting for the answer.

After a long time, he slowly shook his head.

An indescribable sourness rushed into his nasal cavity, and Liang Suinian's eyes turned red in an instant.

He moved his hand to Xie Jia's neck, closed his eyes and let out a breath, trying to draw the corner of his mouth to say something, but his cheek was covered with warmth.

Xie Jiaran imitated what he did just now, brushed his fingertips across his eyes, and gently rubbed the end of his reddened eyes.

His eyes were still clean and penetrating, but a little unconcealable joy of success was quietly revealed in his eyes.

"Brother, even if I get better, it doesn't mean I don't want you anymore."

He curled a beautiful arc at the corner of his mouth, and told him unhurriedly: "If I don't have skin thirst, it's just that I don't need you anymore as a roommate, but as a boyfriend, I will only compare you to you." I wanted to cling to you even more before."

People who have always been smart show a clumsy posture in the field of short boards.

Liang Sunian's brain can easily hold the entire Civil Code, but when it comes to Xie Jiaran's words, he has to spend a long time repeatedly confirming whether there is any deviation from his own understanding.

The distance from the valley floor to the clouds is unrealistically close.

He looked at the boy in front of him almost in a daze, with a layer of cautious uncertainty shrouded in ecstasy: "Of course, what do you mean..."

Xie Jiaran hummed with red ears: "I didn't expect you to be very smart in this matter. After all, I discovered what you just discovered long before you."

"Brother, do you really think that I am so close to you only because of physical reasons?"

He asked in a low voice: "Do you really think that if the object is not you, but anyone else, I would be willing to hug him, kiss him, accompany him to class, and let him sleep in the same bed with him?"

Liang Suinian suddenly felt that he was a lottery player who just waited for the last digit to match to win the first prize. He was nervous and ecstatic.

The palms of your hands are numb, and you can't even breathe lightly: "So, only I can, right?"

"Correct."

Xie Jiaran rubbed the tip of his nose and gave him the simplest and straightforward answer: "No one else can do it, only you can."

Look, the jackpot numbers match up verbatim.

There is such a probability theory, the probability that the person you like also likes you is very low, a conservative estimate is only [-]%.

And this extremely low probability happened to be hit by them.

So in the tiny world that the two put together, they had their first big event worthy of universal celebration.

So Xie Jiaran, while Liang Suinian's eyes were shining brightly, leaned closer and kissed his extremely beautiful lips.

"Brother, Xie Jiaran likes you too, very much, very much."

"He's been waiting for you to say he likes you for a long time, and he's almost impatient, but fortunately you didn't disappoint him."

"And he is extremely happy that you have been infected with dependency and needs him to take charge of it."

Liang Suinian said that there are stars in his eyes, so he leaned close to touch the tip of his nose, breathing intertwinedly, looked into his eyes from the closest distance, and shared the bright starlight with him.

"Lin Shan ridiculed that my youth was wasted, because it was too boring and boring, neither exciting nor enthusiastic, and there was nothing worth remembering, and I thought so at first."

"But now I know that's not the case."

"It's just because my youth is different from most people's. It's not in the past, so it's not wasted."

"Although it came relatively late, it has a nice name, Liang Suinian."