At the same table he coveted me for a long time

Winter nights in seaside cities are not so cold, because there is the sea and the temperature is balanced.But God is so pitiful today, even the only bit of cold wind in the night is kept away.

The two boys pressed the road, and it was a bit hot to walk.

Gu Yanyu didn't know where this was, he only knew that he was walking in front and Ji Hanzhou was following behind.Following the twilight of the street lamp, he looked forward, and he had already reached Harbor Square.Further forward should be a Russian town.

Gu Yanyu found a bench to sit down, and he saw a tall figure sitting next to him on the ground.

It was only a few hours, as if centuries had passed.

He walked all the way, thinking that he would be so shocked by Xu Yimeng's cunning and viciousness that he could not replicate it, and his three views would be destroyed to the point of bursting.Unexpectedly, he had no time to pay attention to that woman.His mind is full of Ji Hanzhou now.It was Xu Yimeng who said that this person would not live long.

Ji Hanzhou: "Do you think I'm a scumbag who slept with you knowing that I was going to die?"

"No." Gu Yanyu shook his head firmly: "On the contrary, I understand you a little bit."

"Know what?" Ji Hanzhou asked.

Teenager's heartbeat is heartbeat, liking is liking, even the desire of "I want to sleep with you" is very pure.

I just like this person, I just want to sleep with this person, I just want to be his first time and be his first time.Not so much causal reason.

Gu Yanyu has always felt that Ji Hanzhou is possessive, but now he realizes that he is like a crow standing on a coal pile, unable to see that he is black—his possessiveness is only worse than Ji Hanzhou.

Before Ji Hanzhou asked this question, he had already thought about it when he was pressing the road.Unexpectedly, but within reason, a terrible thought flashed through his mind - assuming he had never slept with Ji Hanzhou, if Ji Hanzhou really died, he would not let this person go away intact.

Literally, it's a bit perverted, but the degree of perversion just reflects the degree of possessiveness.

Gu Yanyu: "If it were me, I wouldn't be able to give you up to someone else."

No reason.Don't want to, don't want to, don't want to.Always leave him, or leave something on him.

The night wind blew up the heavy snow on the ground, and Ji Hanzhou looked up at the light source of the street lamp.During the day, there is such a big sun in the sky that no one looks directly at it.At night, in such a dark day, the light of the broken street lamp turned into the direction of the road.

Gu Yanyu felt that someone was touching his little wolf's tail.When the wind blows, the smell of mint wafts over, and there is a warm touch from the end of the hair. Everything is so natural and familiar. With the blessing of this feeling, he feels at ease.

"What stage?" The more he calmed down, the more clearly the trembling in his heart became visible.

His voice trembled slightly, and he was extremely thankful that it was winter.

"In the middle." Ji Hanzhou pinched Gu Yanyu's ear, and his tone was casual, with a bit of coaxing ease: "The state has always been good."

Gu Yanyu: "Will it be..."

Gu Yanyu half-spoken, but Ji Hanzhou understood.

"If you're in a good mood, you won't." Ji Hanzhou played with the little wolf's tail, and blurted out very soft words: "The reason why Aunt Xu thinks I will die so much is because when she first met my dad, it was the time when I died. When I was a jerk. You should have heard of it. If I followed my method at the time, you should go to the grave to burn paper for me this year during the Qingming Festival."

As soon as the words fell, he felt his hand was knocked off.I can't touch the little wolf's tail.

"Actually, there are many patients like me in the hospital. I am not a special case, nor is it special, nor is it the most serious." Ji Hanzhou continued to coax people, picked Gu Yanyu's chin with his index finger, and said with a light smile: "Don't worry Some people felt that the sky had fallen overnight. Some people were fine at first, but only realized that they might not be so lucky this time when they saw their family members standing behind their backs and crying at the corner of the corridor."

"When I was first diagnosed, I was actually stunned. But after thinking about it, it is normal for me to have this disease. The body is my own, but since my mother passed away, I have never treated this body kindly. —and didn’t treat myself kindly.”

Gu Yanyu has heard from many people how crazy and asshole the Young Master Ji was when he was young, "Aunt Yang is..."

"Archaeology." Ji Hanzhou lowered his eyes and said, "My mother has liked to study the Mayan civilization since she was in high school, and she also likes to read all kinds of unsolved mysteries. I remember that when I was young, her and my father's bedrooms were full of such things." Materials and novels. It’s not black holes, it’s the Milky Way, it’s not the Pharaoh’s pyramids, it’s the coffins and mummies. My dad is very helpless.”

"When I was six years old, I went to ancient Babylon once, and my mother took it there. She told me what the four ancient civilizations were, and told me ghost stories. I was so scared that I wanted to run back to the country overnight."

Ji Hanzhou was silent for a moment, and then said: "Actually, I like to listen to it very much. If she likes it, I like it too."

"For their majors, if they want to reach the level of professors and professors, they are basically people in their 50s and 50s. But my mother is smart and willing to learn. If she can live to [-] years old, she may become a scientist."

But there are never ifs in life.In a sudden accident, all the exploration teams where Yang Dan was located were in distress, and no one survived.When the search and rescue personnel finally confirmed the body, only one female body was not found.

When the relevant department called Ji's house, Ji Hanzhou was stacking blocks on the coffee table in the living room.Putting the last piece on, the triangular pyramid, which was supposed to be the most stable, suddenly collapsed.

Ji Mingkui hung up the phone and hugged him in his arms, saying, "Hanzhou is good, don't play anymore. Mom...may not come back."

"why?"

"Can't find it."

Couldn't find it.

I can't find it...

A living person is just so missing.

Gu Yanyu recalled what Ji Mingkui said on the phone that time: "Since his mother passed away, this kid has become indifferent to everything. Things that others took a long time to grab are in his eyes. Nothing. There is not one thing, one person, that would interest him to try."

"But uncle knows, Han Zhou will listen to you."

I also thought of the Mayan characters and symbols on the paper.And on the day when the results were released, everyone gathered around the central air conditioner, listening to Ji Hanzhou talking about the Mayan civilization.

He's not bullshitting or bragging.Everything he said and wrote was true.At that time, Ji Hanzhou was really smiling, happy from the bottom of his heart.

Ji Hanzhou: "At first it was because of my mother. I guess my mother didn't want me to go see her so early. Later it was because of you. I wanted to see you more and spend more time with you."

Gu Yanyu turned to look at him: "At that time we hadn't established a relationship yet."

"Yeah." Ji Hanzhou raised his head, looked at the street lights, his eyes were covered with a little mist: "I was thinking that if you were with someone else—"

He moved his throat, his voice choked up a bit, "—I'm worried, I want to see."

"Ji Hanzhou..." Gu Yanyu stretched out his arms and hugged him. A person who had never been relentless and submissive put his forehead into Ji Hanzhou's arms. As soon as he called out his name, he couldn't help but grab his clothes tightly: "I...I Growing up so big, I haven't met anything that I can't put it down. Just you..."

"Ji Hanzhou."

"I'm just you..."

The person in his arms trembled and choked, even more violently than when he met Huang Junchi that day.

Ji Hanzhou hugged Gu Yanyu tightly, and comforted his little wolf tail like before: "I like you blatantly. There are regrets that I don't want to miss in this life, and there are also unwillingness to give you up to others. But Since I dare to make you mine, I dare to live for you."

"Don't cry—a little metaphor."

Marina Hotel.

Checked out the room in the afternoon and checked in again at night.

It was dark inside, with thick curtains blocking out the noise of the city and all the lights.Isolate the figure intertwined on the bed from the world, and not be disturbed by anyone.

Accompanied by the muffled groans of the two teenagers at the same time, the two never mentioned the episode of the night, and only turned all the unhappiness into motivation.After the break, start again.

Ji Hanzhou knew that Gu Yanyu felt uncomfortable and entangled.After all, Xu Yimeng was his real mother.No matter how bad or ruthless this woman is, as long as Gu Yanyu doesn't speak, he doesn't want to be an enemy of her, because it would make Gu Yanyu feel awkward.

At this moment, both of them just want to live in the moment.

Just be happy.

Gu Yanyu was very active tonight, and it was rare for him to be so active.He made demands on Ji Hanzhou time and time again, and was struck so dizzy time and time again.He couldn't sleep, so he could only use this overworked way to escape.

Ji Hanzhou would not deliberately keep him awake, but would just follow him and indulge him, doing whatever he said.

After profusely sweating, Gu Yanyu lay on Ji Hanzhou's body, out of breath.The blush spread from the tip of the nose to the cheeks, to the tips of the ears, to the neck, and even the entire back was red.

Gu Yanyu: "The last time you went to check, what did the doctor say?"

Ji Hanzhou said in a relaxed tone: "He didn't say anything at first, but just asked me if I had any fun recently. I said I was going to have sex." He couldn't help laughing while talking.

"You're still laughing." Gu Yanyu understood his subtext.

Ji Hanzhou chuckled lightly, "Otherwise, why would you think my dad followed me so much?"

That day at the gate of the school doctor's office, after Ji Mingkui heard his son's confession, he knew that Gu Yanyu was the cure for Ji Hanzhou.

For Ji Hanzhou, Ji Mingkui can really give up everything.Really, it's all about making him happy.

Ji Hanzhou supported Gu Yanyu's waist: "Are you tired?"

Gu Yanyu closed his eyes: "A little bit."

"Oh." Ji Hanzhou touched his face, lifted his chin, kissed him deeply for a while, and said, "Then you lie down, and I will be on top."

Ji Hanzhou was about to get up, but Gu Yanyu pressed his palm against his chest.Gu Yanyu said condescendingly, "I want to ride a horse."

Ji Hanzhou's Adam's apple rolled, as if he understood what it meant, he smiled lightly and said, "I'm not tired, you don't have to think about it..."

Gu Yanyu: "Will you give me a ride?"

Ji Hanzhou: "..."

Ji Hanzhou: "Ride, ride, ride for you, you can ride however you want."

As he said that, Ji Hanzhou also tried to search for things in the drawer.

Gu Yanyu: "What are you looking for?"

"rope."

"What are you doing with the rope?"

"Don't you want to ride a horse?" Ji Hanzhou couldn't help laughing: "Find a rope and tie it around my neck so that you can ride happily."

Gu Yanyu: "...Get lost."

……

The two hang out for two days.

Until Song Yanyu called.

Gu Yanyu didn't expect that the new head teacher would call him.But looking at the calendar, today is Wednesday.He and Ji Hanzhou haven't been to school for two days, and haven't contacted anyone, so it's reasonable to think about it.

After New Year's Day is the last exam, and the holiday is about to begin.Every year in the third year of senior high school, the winter vacation is very short and very tense.After the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, students will start classes early.

This tense atmosphere will last until early summer, when the college entrance examination ends in June.Make or break it.

During the lunch break, Gu Yanyu found an empty corner and stood there for a while.This year is very warm, the sun is full and there is no biting north wind.

He didn't feel like eating at noon. He didn't eat anything, but he felt very full.He is lazy, like an orange cat full of dried fish, hiding comfortably on the wall to bask in the sun.

After standing for too long, his legs were a little numb, so he gradually squatted down, and then sat down on a rock.

He had good physical strength before, and he had never been so pretentious. Ever since he met Ji Hanzhou, he always wanted to find a place to sit or lie down for a while.

Can move, try not to move, maintain physical strength.

"Would you like a cigarette?" A person walked by.

Gu Yanyu's long and narrow eyes had not yet recovered from laziness, and he looked at the man who was slowly approaching with a look of contempt.

This look startled Song Yanyu.

"Don't just say it, don't look at me like that." Song Yanyu took out the cigarette and put it in his mouth: "It's scary."

He spread his hands out, making a look of helplessness, and still held the lighter in his right hand.

Gu Yanyu looked at this man, wearing the same suit, with steady steps and textbooks, he looked like a teacher.Paired with cigarettes and uninhibited sitting posture, it looks like a bad guy.People really have two sides.

He didn't have much impression of this teacher, neither good nor bad, he was almost as good as Gong Tao, and he was just as good as Li Yan.

"I don't smoke." Gu Yanyu said.

"The boy with you, I see he is smoking." Song Yanyu sat down on the stone ton next to Gu Yanyu, "I thought you smoked like him."

There is no sense of disobedience in matching the stone in the corner with a suit.

"What's on your mind hiding here?" Gu Yanyu didn't speak, Song Yanyu continued to ask: "Is it because of that boy who smokes?"

"Your boyfriend?"

The silent Gu Yanyu turned his head again.

Song Yanyu smiled and said: "You don't have to be hostile to me, to be honest, I've seen a lot of boys like you who are troubled by love in adolescence. But most of them are because of the anxiety caused by girlfriends, and rarely because of boyfriends. "

When Song Yanyu talked to children of this age, there was really no generation gap at all.Not at all rigid like most parents are.Sometimes it is overlooked that there is at least a 20-year age difference between him and this group of children.

As he spoke, Song Yanyu held the cigarette in his hand, then took out his phone, flipped through the photos, and placed the screen in front of Gu Yanyu's eyes.It was the page of the campus post bar, and the post he read was the very tall Zhou Yu CP building.

This guy is quite avant-garde.

Pay attention to these things.

"I don't know why, but the first time I saw you, I felt kind and destined." Song Yanyu said, "And I like it very much."

He looked at Gu Yanyu: "You have an inexplicable attraction to me."

If this was said by another man, Gu Yanyu might think that the other man was flirting.Although Song Yanyu's state at the moment is quite different from what he usually shows, Gu Yanyu still doesn't feel that he is offending himself.

Because of the feeling he described in his mouth, he also has it.On the day when he met Song Yanyu for the first time, he would also be inexplicably attracted.

Wanting to take a closer look at this man, he always felt familiar, as if he had passed by several times in the vast crowd.

That feeling is not like, and very inexplicable, there is no reason.

But Gu Yanyu never looked into it carefully, because apart from this feeling, Song Yanyu was a dispensable person in his eyes.It's just Xia Wei's successor when she goes home and waits for delivery.

"Has anyone ever said that we look alike?" Song Yanyu asked.

"Yes." Gu Yanyu answered truthfully.

Ji Hanzhou once said it.Said that his eyes, nose, and chin look like this man.

"When I see you, I can't help but think of when I was young." Song Yanyu extinguished the cigarette amidst many emotions, threw the cigarette butt on the ground, and stepped on his feet, completely killing the little flames.

"Back then, I was also trapped by love." He said: "I am also the same."

When these four words fell, he saw Gu Yanyu tilt his head slightly from the corner of his vision.

"It's just that in my time, homosexuality would be scolded miserably, and even the whole family could not hold their heads up." Song Yanyu said: "I used to hide in a corner where no one was like you. But we Maybe you thought differently. Maybe you had a fight with your boyfriend, or maybe it was because of other things, just like a normal young couple. But I was just thinking blankly, is it right to do this? Am I Not sick."

ill.

Xu Yimeng also scolded him for being sick.

"You're not sick." Gu Yanyu said lightly.

"So you can comfort others." Song Yanyu smiled: "I thought you would still ignore me. Let me talk to myself."

Gu Yanyu didn't speak again.

Song Yanyu smiled: "I'm not sick, but at that time, I didn't realize this truth myself, but someone told me."

Gu Yanyu didn't express his opinion, but only looked at the figure on the ground from the corner of his eye.

Song Yanyu continued: "During my most tangled period of youth, there was a girl in our town who liked me very much. I knew she liked me and often looked at me on the way home from school. I also knew that she was very beautiful and was loved by many people. Chase. But I have no feelings for her."

"Until one day, the boyfriend I was dating at the time proposed to break up. He said that he didn't want to continue in this sick way. He said he went to find a girl to try and found that...he didn't seem to reject women that much. "

"Then I didn't know what was wrong with me, but my brain got hot and I agreed to that girl's pursuit."

He laughed self-deprecatingly: "That girl knew I was gay, she said she was looking at me all the time, she knew everything. She didn't mind. It's right to like someone, it's not about men and women. She said she was interested in me Feelings, just like my ex-boyfriend, she can understand."

"At that moment, I had an impulse. Maybe what my ex-boyfriend said was not wrong. I can like women, but I have never tried. So I started dating and dating that girl. Our relationship gradually increased. "

"And then, not long after...she told me she was pregnant."

Gu Yanyu was not that shocked, but he was also quite surprised: "You actually got her pregnant."

"Yeah." Song Yanyu couldn't deny it, and lowered his head slightly: "I didn't expect this to happen. I was purely trying to relieve my boredom at that time, and it was also because I was bewitched by my ex-boyfriend, and I wanted to know the difference between men and women .In addition, that girl likes me very much and has always been very kind to me. She is also very beautiful and has a gentle personality. I have no reason to refuse."

"But I was only eighteen at the time, and I didn't even understand myself. I wasn't prepared to accept this life at all. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be a father at the age of 19."

Gu Yanyu: "Then."

"Then..." Song Yanyu sighed, "I ran away."