A Beginner's Guide to Cat Ownership

"I still think he dislikes me. You don't know what he did yesterday." Yitong lay listlessly on the sofa and typed slowly, "He took an insect repellent and went to the hospital without saying a word. The drops on my body are going to deworm me, and I think I will be kicked out of the house when I become an adult." At this point, he rolled over and lay on his back, and the small coal ball jumped into the hollow between his shoulder and head He pretended to find a nest to lie down comfortably, but actually sneaked a look at who he was chatting with.

Yuefu typed the word "ha" a hundred times, and politely expressed sympathy and comfort: "This means that he has read a lot of strategies, and he only does this when he cares about you. Do you think his method of repelling insects is very good?" skilled?"

"I don't know if I'm familiar with it or not, but it's too insulting. I'm a monster, not an ordinary cat. I can clean it myself. How could there be bugs." Yitong touched two small coal balls, and the small coal balls probed He sniffed his face, and was gently patted aside by him, "If someone says that you are so dirty that you have lice, how would you feel? This is really insulting."

No wonder he was so angry, any normal person would feel embarrassed when someone called him dirty, not to mention the kitten loves to be clean, how could he stand such insults.

Yue Fu had no choice but to try his best to help Yanxi find an excuse to comfort the kitten's hurt heart: "Oh, he is still a novice, and he doesn't know how to communicate with others. When he encounters problems that he doesn't understand, he can only look up the strategy by himself, and apply it randomly in practice. After all, there are very few cat monsters now, and there are even fewer cat monsters, and they will not show up easily. He just wants to find experience in raising cat monsters, but he has no power. You can forgive him this time. "

Yitong's attention is easily diverted: "Why are there so few cat demons?"

He was surprised a long time ago. When he was wandering in the demon world, he seemed to have never seen the same kind. Most of them were dogs. He hadn’t even seen a few ordinary cat demons. So when he picked up the small coal balls, he was surprised and happy , especially cherish this kind, it stands to reason that cats are very fertile, so this kind of situation will not happen.

Yue Fu said: "So you don't know? That's right, you are still so young, it's normal if you don't know, it happened hundreds of years ago. Because the previous generation of Demon Emperor was just a cat demon. Later, the Demon Emperor disappeared and the demon world fell apart. In order to prevent the demon kings from hiding among ordinary monsters in order to heal their injuries, these demon kings unite and hunt and kill cat monsters everywhere. They would rather kill a thousand by mistake than let one go. The surviving cat monsters Hiding in hiding, I was lucky enough to escape to the human world, and just in time for the establishment of the office, I was able to be protected and sent people to the demon world, which is considered to have calmed down the disaster."

Yitong was stunned, and then deliberately moved closer to the little coal ball: "No wonder we haven't been able to find our biological parents. It seems that they were either killed or hid."

The little briquette nodded angrily in agreement with him.

"It's also possible that they hid in the human world and accidentally left us behind!" Yitong's eyes lit up, and she suddenly sat up from the sofa. The small briquettes were lying on his shoulders, but they were caught off guard and fell to the ground. "Maybe we can find them here?"

He couldn't wait to tell Yuefu about this idea, and asked her to help find the cat demons left in the human world, including the dead ones. After all, she is in charge of household registration, so it is very convenient to check.

Yuefu couldn't bear to hit him, but still said: "It's been a long time since this incident, you are a new cat demon, the possibility is very small."

"That's not necessarily true. Although my demon age is very young, the age of our monsters is calculated from the day when we were born with spiritual intelligence. If we haven't developed spiritual intelligence for a long time after birth and are ordinary kittens, we will not be counted as age." "Yitong said, "Look at the little briquette who doesn't speak or change form now, maybe he was scared and autistic hundreds of years ago, maybe his real age is older than me."

The little coal ball was stunned: "?"

After so many years, the eldest brother was the first to say that he was autistic, which made him doubt the meaning of the word.

Yuefu pondered: "What you said is not unreasonable, then today I will sort out the list of cat demons registered after the establishment of the firm, and I will take you to visit them when I have time, maybe I can really find your biological parents. "

Yitong was very excited, picked up the small briquettes and circled in the living room, from the second floor to the first floor, and turned into the original shape to run wildly in the yard, until he exhausted all his energy before returning to lie on the sofa, thank you Yuefu.

He was so happy, even the unhappiness that happened with Yanxi yesterday disappeared, let alone a kitten, what kind of creature would not long for the company of his parents, he dreamed of finding his own home.

Yuefu said it was a trivial matter, and continued to tell him about Yanxi, just once Yanxi came, and the air pressure was lower than yesterday, and if this continued, the devil blood in his body would be aroused, and the five worlds would suffer, for the sake of world peace , I can only ask the kitten to be generous: "I think the most fundamental problem is the lack of communication between you and him. Do you usually talk?"

Yitong said; "Rarely, he only knows 'hmm'."

Yue Fu said: "Look, people who lack communication can't avoid misunderstanding after all, and it will eventually lead to tragedy. Why don't you find a chance to communicate with him and tell him your likes and taboos, and everyone will be happy Yet?"

Yitong fell into deep thought, this is too difficult.

Yuefu: "Look, look, he's going to take the initiative, just wait."

Finished sending a post.

Subject: "New cat seems to be angry."

Posted by: Yan Xi

Main building: "He kept rubbing against me last night. I suspected that he had insects on his body and it was too itchy, so I gave him deworming medicine, but he got angry on the spot. What's the reason?"

Pedestrians passing by couldn't bear to watch it any longer, relying on the fact that they used their screen names so they wouldn't be targeted by Yan Xi, they all accused him: "Maomao rubs you to want you to hug and pet him, but you actually dewormed him?! Or person?!"

"It's hard to see cat monsters these days. Raising two cat monsters at once and not knowing how to touch them is a waste of money!"

"You can throw me a cat who can't touch it, and I can bald it."

"Would you be happy if you were told you picked it up from the trash?"

"This is a feline insult to a clean and beautiful kitten!"

Yanxi has not replied, probably in self-reflection.

Yitong had a good time watching it, and gradually stopped being angry, and mixed in the replies to condemn a few sentences, and then suddenly saw the small envelope representing the private letter beating, so he clicked on it, and it turned out that someone was posting a small advertisement for Tarot divination .

He was very surprised, and sent the screenshot to Yuefu: "Can you advertise?"

"There are many. After all, although the real name is not limited, the trumpet is not limited." Yuefu said, he was shocked when he saw the content, "Tarot divination?! Who is so bold to die?! It's over if the director sees it, I Go to the title to check the IP!"

Such things as private messages are used for private communication between two people when it is not suitable for public places. In order to reduce the risk of being discovered by the administrator, the advertisers will send private messages one by one.

Yitong had an idea.

What a medium of communication!If it is difficult to communicate with someone, the best way is to pretend to be a stranger. People are always willing to say more to strangers who have no intersection on the Internet. After all, no one knows anyone. No matter how many secrets are in the other party It appears to be just a story.

He registered a small account, clicked on Yanxi's private message to edit the information, edited, edited, and deleted, hesitated all morning, and finally summoned up the courage to send it.

Afterwards, my heart was beating violently "thumping", and I was so nervous that I drank water.

Do you want to talk to Sister Yuefu, it will be bad if Yanxi reports that his IP has been blocked...

He waited eagerly.

***

Yanxi usually doesn't receive many private messages. After all, few people dare to send him private messages, and even the small advertisements skip him, but today the small envelope keeps jumping, reminding him that there is news, if he doesn't click on it, he will be killed. It kept jumping, and it was really annoying to watch, so he clicked it casually.

It's two small advertisements.

According to the rules, if you receive a small advertisement, you should take a screenshot and report the title of the administrator. Yanxi didn't have that boring skill, and the first Tarot divination was directly deleted, but the second small advertisement was different, as if it was sent to him in time, Let him read it carefully several times, and finally choose to copy the contact information at the end.

The name of the website that posted the small advertisement is "The No. [-] Little Cat Demon on the Internet", and the content format is similar to Tarot divination. Maybe now small advertisements like to write copywriting like this: "Are you still at a loss for the first time to raise a pet? Are you still worried about not being able to communicate with your pet? Are you still worried about not being able to understand the thoughts of monster cubs? Add me Little Penguin, an orthodox little cat demon, the number one cat expert on the Internet, and teach you how to raise a cat. Get rid of all troubles, and give you and your child a happy life without barriers! Little Penguin: x... x!"

Yan Xi was moved.

If one can understand each other best, it is the same kind. After all, ordinary cat raising methods cannot be applied mechanically to cat demons. If you can find Xiaobai's kind, you can know what he is thinking.

The name of the little penguin of the number one cat demon on the whole network is also called this, and the profile picture is a cute cartoon cat. As soon as Yanxi's friend passed by, he took the initiative to send a message: "Hi, boss~ Is the boss a new cat~ What's the problem~"

Yanxi: "? How do you know I'm here for consultation?"

The No. [-] cat demon on the whole network: "Because this is my job number~ You are the first to add me, thank you boss for supporting the work~"

Yanxi: "How do you know about the cat I just raised?"

The little cat demon was a little slow this time: "Because I guessed it ~ isn't it accurate?"

Yanxi: "Yes."

The No. [-] kitten on the Internet: "So what's wrong with the boss? What kind of cat do you have at home?"

Yanxi: "Two cat demons, one black and one white. The black one is very small and hasn't transformed yet. There is no problem. The white one is almost an adult and needs more attention."

Yanxi: "The first question: Xiaobai can make biscuits and has made them for many people, but he has not given them to me. I am the guardian. Why?"

The No. [-] kitten on the Internet: "Maybe he thinks you don't eat, have you ever eaten in front of him?"

Yanxi: "No."

Little cat demon: "That's right. Since it is a kitten that has just been raised and is about to grow up, it will always be afraid of unfamiliar guardians. Since it feels that you don't eat, of course I dare not ask you. If you want to eat, eat in front of him and let him know that you need it."

Yanxi: "How can I eat in front of him?"

Little Cat Demon: "Sit at the table while eating and eat with him."

Yanxi: "It makes sense."

He sent a red envelope, but the other party didn't accept it, and sent a message: "Because this is the first time the store opened, and you are the first customer, so in order to thank you for your support, your consultation is free~"

Yanxi didn't worry too much, and continued on to the topic: "Second question, have you read the forum?"

He used his real name, the other party must know who he is.

Little cat demon: "Is it the insect repellent?"

Yanxi: "Yes."

Little cat demon: "I've seen it, the cat rubs against you because it wants you to pet him, it's not because there are bugs, cats like to be touched very much, next time he rubs against you, you must remember how much Pet him, don't just touch one place, touch him from head to tail, and belly, until he wants to run away, he will be very happy."

Yan Xi: "Yeah. But I didn't ask this, the title is why he is angry."

The little cat demon stopped talking again, and said after a long time: "Well, cats are very clean. You say that people are dirty, which tramples on their dignity. They must be angry. Don't say that cats are dirty. , fat is not allowed."

Yan Xi's eyes stopped on the last sentence.

It was the first time I met Xiaobai, he casually said something about Xiaobai Pang, Xiaobai had memorized it for a long time, so I went to the office building to talk to him, and it was not counted until after I raised him, but he I have never told anyone, how did this little cat demon know?

Little cat demon: "Cats are very concerned about their own image, dirty and fat, these are taboos ~ things that don't exist, cats will think you are slandering him ~ some cats are very serious and will always correct them You~"

It turns out that it is a common problem of cats, and only the little black cat is stupid and magnanimous. People say he is fat and he is still happy.

Yanxi: "Yes. There is one last question."

Little cat demon: "Boss, just say it~"

Yanxi: "Xiaobai's eyes are red this morning. I've never seen them before. Is he suffering from an eye disease? Do I need eye drops? Which one is better?"

He also sent a picture of all kinds of eye drops for cats neatly arranged.

Immediately, Yitong's eyes turned black, and she clutched her chest, wanting to vomit blood.

People say that the cat's thinking is the strangest and the most incomprehensible, so he must not know Yanxi.

The author has something to say: open a new era of online dating.