throwing gentle gl

"Xu Baihan, please don't try to tie me up with your legs and guilt, don't let your family look at me like I'm a sinner! I don't love you anymore, I want to start a new life, Please let me go!" After these words came out, Jiang Wang clearly saw that Xu Baihan's body trembled violently, and his hands covering his ears gradually slumped down powerlessly.

Xu Baihan's straight waist that was extremely firm and straight when he was waiting at the entrance of the hospital, at this moment, finally, slowly bent down, bit by bit, bent up.Jiang Wang could only see that Xu Baihan's back was trembling slightly following the silent choking of sobs.

Jiang Wang was hard-hearted, turned his face away, couldn't bear to see Xu Baihan's aggrieved and sad appearance again, clenched his fists, and then calmed down his voice: "Let's go, I'll take you back."

However, Xu Baihan tried his best to stabilize his trembling in an extremely hoarse voice due to choking, and refused: "No need, let me go alone, let me be alone, just be quiet..." After finishing speaking, she gradually supported herself. She stretched out her hand on her back, turned the wheelchair one after another, opened the door of Jiang Wang's house with difficulty, did not look back, and slowly disappeared from Jiang Wang's sight, leaving Jiang Wang with a thin and stubborn back, and The room is full of loneliness and desolation...

Standing in place, far away, Jiang Wang heard the elevator ding-dong.She knew that Xu Baihan, as the elevator left, was getting farther and farther away from her every second.From now on, probably really, there will be no turning back.

She finally raised her foot and walked towards the door with heavy steps, staring blankly at the empty aisle for a long, long time before raising her hand feebly and closing the door slowly.Then, leaning against the door, she no longer had the strength to support herself, and slid little by little to sit on the cold ground.

She curled up her legs, wrapped her hands around her knees, buried her face in her knees, trying to grab something so that she would feel less empty and less uncomfortable.

Xu Baihan is gone, really, and will never come back again, isn't this exactly what I want?

But, why, I should feel relieved, but now I feel more painful and depressed, so that, uncomfortably, it seems difficult to breathe.

Jiang Wang hugged himself, tighter and tighter, and finally, unable to restrain himself, he opened his mouth and bit his knee hard.

She didn't have a loving mother that she could rely on, so when she was lonely and helpless, she didn't even have the qualifications to cry "Mom" to relieve her fear and pain.So, from childhood to adulthood, she couldn't stand the psychological pain, so she bit herself hard, as if, with a little pain in her body, her heart would not hurt so much.

But this time, even this trick didn't seem to work.She still couldn't hold back the tears.From the suppressed silent sobs to the final sobs.

Bai Han, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I made you so sad...

When she was young, she didn't know her life experience.She just felt that her parents didn't treat her as well or as close as they did her brother and sister, and sometimes they even looked a little strange to her.At that time, she thought that she was not obedient and good enough, so her parents were partial.As a result, she became more and more sensible, hoping to please her parents.She never competed with her younger sister for toys, and never begged for things with her parents. Since she was six years old, she has learned to wash clothes and dishes by herself, and she is more obedient than her elder brother and younger brother.

She has always thought that as long as she is well-behaved and sensible enough, her parents can treat her like a brother and sister, they can hug her occasionally, kiss her, and sleep with her intimately...

Until, one day, she was playing upstairs with her younger sister, and the Barbie doll would belong to the one whose spinning top lasted the longest.The younger sister lost, but acted shamelessly, grabbed the doll and ran away. She was surprised for a moment, seeing her sister running fast, worried that she would fall, so she chased her out, but as soon as she went out, she saw her sister running on the road leading to a On the stairs upstairs, it was difficult for her little short legs to run up and down, and she warned nervously: "Yun'er, don't run..." The next moment, she saw her younger sister fell down from the stairs without standing still. Go down and cry...

Fortunately, the stairs are not high, and there are only three steps left. My sister just got a big bag on her forehead and got a little bruised.She was distressed and afraid, worried that her mother would blame her for taking good care of her younger sister, and was ready to be scolded.

However, who would have thought that when the younger sister cried and complained to her mother, saying that the fall was due to Jiang Wang grabbing a toy from her, the mother couldn't help but slap her across the face, Jiang Wang froze and his ears froze. Buzzing, staring wide-eyed, looking at her in disbelief, unable to move any longer due to aggrieved.

That day, her face was in a burning pain, and after her mother gently coaxed her sister to leave, she hid in the toilet, spit out the blood from the slap in her mouth, sat on the ground and cried for a long, long time.

In the evening, she didn't go downstairs to eat, she was so eager that her mother could turn around, coax her, and comfort her.But except for her brother who came up to call her once, no one paid her any attention.

It was late at night, and Jiang Wangji couldn't sleep no matter what.She thought, is it just because her mother is too angry that she is so fierce to herself?Should she explain it to her mother well and tell her that she really didn't mean it?Will mother give her a hug because she knows that she has misunderstood her and that her teeth are bleeding and hurting?

Thinking of this possibility, she rolled over and got out of bed, and ran out before she could put on her shoes.

However, when she stood outside her parents' bedroom full of expectations, she only heard her mother's slightly disdainful voice saying angrily: "I usually see her gentle and harmless appearance, but in the end she killed Yun with a cruel hand." My son fell down the stairs. If I didn't see how much money her father gave me, I really wouldn't want her to stay longer! A vixen like her mother can give birth to any good things, and they can pretend to be cheap people!"

At that moment, Jiang Wang stretched out his hand to knock on the door, but froze.She was sensitive and precocious since she was a child, but in an instant, she knew all the meaning of that sentence.

She put down her hand, turned back to the room expressionlessly.

That night, she suddenly understood what the strange look she had seen in the eyes of her so-called parents was.That's contempt, that's disgust. Occasionally, there may be a little pitiful, hahahaha, but, there is no love she wants.

Since then, she never quarreled or even fought with others when the neighbors still laughed at her as an unwanted child, she never tried to win the love of her parents, and she never talked to her sister again In a word.

Some love is bestowed by God, such as the love of parents, if you can have it, you are lucky.And she resigned to her fate.Probably I was born with such a humble life, without the fate of my parents, I can't be as lucky as other people, and I can have the unparalleled love from birth.

Family affection is destined by nature, so love, can you rely on hard work the day after tomorrow?

Jiang Wang vowed in his heart that one day, when she fell in love with someone, she would love her very much, let the other person feel her love, melt the other person's heart, and treat her as the most important person.

Xu Baihan didn't know that, in fact, she was fascinated by her the first time she saw her.

At that time, Jiang Wang looked at Xu Baihan's big smiling eyes, the gentle smile on her lips, and her kind appearance of taking care of his younger brother, and felt that she was as warm as the sun.

With more and more contacts, she became more and more infatuated with Xu Baihan.She thought, if she could fall in love with a gentle person like Xu Baihan, she would be very happy, right?

So, after countless sleepless nights, she must be determined to fight for herself once.

She knew that for some things, she was not so lucky and could only work hard on her own.

She was full of expectation and enthusiasm, not afraid of Xu Baihan's cold reception, endured Xu Baihan's hesitation and hesitation, with the most sincere heart, gave everything, to love Xu Baihan, to win Xu Baihan's love.

Xu Baihan let go of her pigeons countless times, because of her parents, because of her younger brother, and even because of her classmates.She waited for the ice cream to melt, the fireworks to end, and the cake to expire. As long as Xu Baihan said, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, she would accept everything with a smile.

She told herself, it doesn't matter, there are many people who are more important than you now, just because she still doesn't love you the most, and considers you the most important.

But when Xu Baihan lied to her parents and came all the way on her birthday that year, she really thought that she had won over the person she loved, and finally loved her the most.She can also be the most important person in other people's hearts, the person they love the most.

But at the moment when Xu Baihan left her by the seaside and told her to give up, she knew in despair that she was still the one who could be abandoned and abandoned in other people's lives. In this world, no one really wanted her.

For many years after being rescued, Jiang Wang couldn't forgive Xu Baihan, thinking that Xu Baihan was sorry for her wholeheartedly and sincerely giving.She can subvert the whole world for Xu Baihan alone just to straighten Xu Baihan's reflection.But what was Xu Baihan's response to her?She could give up everything for Xu Baihan, including her own life, but she shouldn't be abandoned like this.Xu Baihan made her feel that she was being self-indulgent in everything, and made her feel that her love had been betrayed.

But today, many years later, after more than ten years of time and experience, she finally understands, probably because she has never been loved, she is an orphan in this world, and the only one she loves is Xu Baihan.

As for Xu Baihan, she has received too much love, what she has given is only one of them, and what she is destined to get is only one of them, and the position in her heart can only be such a small one. place.

She knows Xu Baihan's kindness better than anyone else.

Therefore, she will never be able to occupy the most important place in Xu Baihan's heart, and she will not be able to make her desperate for herself.The next time, when there is such a confrontation again, she will still be the one who was given up.

However, Xu Baihan, I am a paranoid lunatic.I understand you, I forgive you, I still love you, but I don't want to be with you anymore.

I am not willing to wait for the next time to be given up in trembling.Just let me keep the status quo, no more expectations, no more harm.

So, this time, give me the right to choose, let me give up on you first.