Shen disease

signed poem:

The silver candle song is too coquettish, and the purple jade flute breaks the heart of the world.

The guest looks at Gu Xingtian to do evil, and when he is sick for a long time, he looks haggard.

The book lamp is struggling to write, and the sound of writing is about to run out, and the words in my heart are turned into ashes and tears are still there.

Looking for stories in Jinling, crowing crows and willows are boring.

一

He has been feeling the pain of the disease more and more lately.

Since he suffered from insomnia, his originally thin and pitiful physique has reached a precarious situation due to the inability to sleep well every night and the heavy study load during the day.His soul, which was originally weak and sick, has also reached a situation where he is about to escape from sex.If it weren't for his vague consciousness still timidly curled up in his body, the whole person would be no different from a skeleton that has been dead for many years in the coffin.

But his consciousness is also absurd, he didn't even have the slightest intention to leave, and it actually controlled him to breathe the oxygen of this world one mouthful at a time, all because he was afraid of death, his appetite had long since disappeared , but he still forced himself to eat three meals a day, so in his heart, he still longed to live.He still wants to continue living in this world that he can't describe.

When he suffered from insomnia for a month, he was in extreme pain at school and felt the threat of death. Frightened, he hurriedly asked for leave from school and went to the hospital.In fact, he knew very well that he had been suffering from a very strange neurasthenia since four years ago, and during the four years of being ill, he had forgotten how many times he had been admitted to hospitals that were advocating to save people. How many times have been linked to the clinic of Miaoshou rejuvenation, but he has never found a cure, maybe it is really the rarity of his disease.He has already formed such a concept in his heart: the medicine in our country is only suitable for curing some minor colds, and the so-called medical achievements in the news, how can these ordinary people suffer from such diseases?It is nothing more than to comfort the people of the country, and to concentrate on those top places, why not study the problem of why Chinese people are becoming more and more difficult to treat diseases now, hey.Besides, which doctor in today's society is not just to make money, but to prescribe some Chinese patent medicines as a sign to prevent people from being cured to death, bah, a bunch of quack doctors.

He was thinking like this, but he had already signed up unknowingly, and was already waiting outside the consulting room. This time, he was in the department of neurology. Probably he really felt the damage to his nerves. He felt that his His brain has reached the point of no cure, although he is very reluctant to take western medicine, because he believes that the side effects of western medicine will only make his disease worse, and neurological medicine should be a good choice for a "young man" like him. Nothing but harm.He once read books on Chinese medicine, and deeply felt the sacredness and profoundness of Chinese medicine in his motherland, so he originally trusted Chinese medicine. Since he fell ill, he has read Chinese medicine the most, but in the end he still carries this disease until today. .But he has never doubted the role of Chinese medicine. He just thinks that doctors are not skilled in medicine and the production of Chinese medicine has become more and more cutting corners with the times. These two reasons must have led to the backwardness of Chinese medicine.He also went to the neurology department of western medicine before, and the examination would cost a lot of money, and then he would prescribe some western medicine tablets that he had never seen before. Four years of seeking medical treatment and medicine have been lost in the long-lasting pain.

His visit this time has been the same as the recent few times, all for comfort—he always likes to tell the doctor about all his symptoms, and give his hand to the Chinese medicine doctor, but he is afraid to give his own Those weak wrists were exposed, because some doctors would always say, why is your child so thin? At that time, he felt extremely ashamed, and this was probably what he was most afraid of in his life.After seeing Western medicine this time, he finally won't show his weak wrists. He is happy but a little uneasy.The daily insomnia and daytime study had almost swallowed his brain.As usual, as soon as he entered the consultation room, he began to talk about everything in his heart. He said that his insomnia had reached such a serious level, his physical symptoms were so painful, and he felt that death was getting closer and closer to him. , he became more and more anxious, and he didn't hear the doctor say to him several times, "Young man, don't worry, speak slowly." After he confided, he almost shed tears, but he didn't say that every time Yes, but which time did the doctor prescribe medicine to cure him, but it was just spending money to find someone to listen to him, but Zhang Xian was suffering to win rare sympathy.He will no longer have hope of healing, because he once gave all his hope, and it turned into despair and pain in the end.

"Your anxiety is getting worse, are you taking the medicine prescribed before?"

"No, the side effects are too great, because I'm still in school, I don't dare to eat it."

"How can you not take it? You have to keep taking the medicine prescribed by the doctor. If you take a little and don't take it, it will only make the condition worse, and it will take longer to take the medicine next time. Now it is half a year, and it may be a few years in the future, and it may be possible to take medicine for life in the future."

When he heard this, his heart trembled.The doctor had no choice but to change the medicine for him, telling him that he had to keep taking the medicine for at least half a year before he could get better.He was holding the drug list that he had just printed out, on which was written Aprazolam and another drug that he didn't even know a lot of words in high school.Seeing this large dose of sleeping pills and a list of neurological drugs he had never seen before, he asked the doctor,

"I haven't had a good rest for several months, resulting in the extreme pain of mental and physical symptoms. Can these western medicines cure me? Is it too far-fetched?"

"That's definitely not possible. Medication can only help. It mainly depends on you to adjust your mentality, rest more, strengthen nutrition and exercise, and you will gradually get better."

When he heard this, he almost laughed out loud. He fell asleep at 11.30 every night, fell asleep at 4 o'clock on average, and woke up at [-]:[-] in the morning. The classroom must be read aloud early, haha, ridiculous, school life is just like that, but unfortunately he has a bad spirit, his stomach is also bad, and his appetite is also very small. During the lunch break at noon, he can't sleep. The vicious teacher, he dared not close his tired eyes, not to mention his weakened nerves. From this, how to strengthen nutrition and exercise, he was more convinced that his illness was over. It is hopeless.

He thanked the doctor, left the hospital and returned to the house he rented. After resting in the house for a while, he opened the package of the unknown medicine and took out the instruction manual inside. "This instruction manual is really big." While reading it carefully, he said, "The pill is so small, why do you write so many?" It was strange to say that he was very serious at the moment when he couldn't read any books in school, for fear of misreading a word, the instruction manual In fact, apart from the medical effect of the previous medicine, the rest were all side effects. The more he looked at it, the more he felt scared, as if every side effect had already happened to him, such as dilated pupils, heart discomfort, and difficulty breathing. , and other symptoms, as if a steel knife had been pierced into his chest, after reading it for a few minutes, he really felt that his chest was constricting. "Ah, not good." He hastily put down the manual, lay down on the chair, closed his eyes, and began to gasp in agony for the dead patient.

After taking the medicine for two days, he didn't feel any good effect, but the side effects made him feel more painful.So much so that his face is pale every day, and his mood is depressed. He is always worried that the side effects will have a greater impact on his already weak body, and he always feels that the toxicity of the drug has damaged his organs. And nerves, always afraid that I will go faster and faster on the runway of life.Yes, he was fearing for his life.

In fact, not every side effect of western medicine will appear, and not everyone will have it, but he feels that all the side effects happen to him, most of which are caused by his psychology. Who taught him that he is naturally sensitive and curious? He has a strong heart, and always likes to find out what he shouldn't know. Naturally, it will not end well if he asks the bottom of everything. After all, it is his own doing.

two

A few days later, he forgot the doctor's advice and stopped using the unknown drug, but he had to take sleeping pills every night.He felt that he just had a sleep problem and that sleeping pills were enough.Originally, the sleeping pills were more harmful, but because there was no instruction manual, the reason why he didn't feel the pain of its side effects, and he kept taking it, should be all because of this.At the beginning, he took one tablet at a time as ordered by the doctor, but later he changed it to two tablets at a time without permission, and he got used to it.

A week passed, and he went back to his hometown alone. The disease and medicine naturally followed him to the clean countryside. After he got home, he endured the tiredness and cleaned the whole house. At night, because of his tiredness, he took two sleeping pills, but he didn't know what to do. He fell asleep until the next morning, poor and ignorant, but when he got up in the morning, he gave all the credit to the medicine.His life seems to have improved and become more fulfilling. In addition to cooking some simple meals every day, he takes a walk and reads. These are his hobbies, but it is a pity that every time he walks, he sees the people or the environment around him. , he is always thoughtful, always sentimental, quietly shed a few tears, and then shed them in the dim light of the setting sun. Every time he reads a book, he chooses those books about the sad fate and death of the protagonist who are sad and worried. So much so that he always feels unfair for those virtual poor people, and weeps for those poor people.So you can also see his kind nature.Half a month passed quickly, and he felt as if he could fall asleep before twelve o'clock in the evening, and the number of nightmares every night was also reduced, and he would no longer be awakened as easily in the morning as before. some recovery.

"Haha, this is really a good medicine, it's really a panacea, I'm going to find out who the inventor is, how can he be so smart, it's a blessing for all mankind, oh no, at least it's a blessing for people like us, I have to look up his name and thank him very much," he said to himself as he was taking a walk that day. "Ah" Suddenly, he tripped over a stone that was not big or small.

"It hurts to death, this damned stone." He looked at the stone slowly and stood still. He seemed to see a proud face on the surface of the stone, and he seemed to hear the arrogant laughter of the stone. Suddenly, his pupils gradually dilated, his nostrils also dilated slowly, and an evil arc was revealed on his mouth. The blood vessels in his whole body seemed to start to flow faster, and his breathing gradually became faster. He immediately brought up the criminal. He dropped a very sinful stone, took advantage of the trend and continued towards the vegetable field beside the road, and then turned into the vegetable field and began to trample wildly, "Damn it, damn it, you all deserve to die, the weak can only be trampled on. You don't deserve to walk comfortably Live in this world!" He frantically exhausted all his strength, while talking, he trampled the vegetables inside into pieces.

A few minutes later, the vegetable field was a mess, what about him?It turned out that he had calmed down and squatted on the side of the road quietly watching the scene in front of him, showing an expression of extreme self-blame and regret, with fear and anxiety on his face.

"How did this happen? Ah, how did this happen? Poor stone, poor plant, I'm sorry, please forgive me." He buried his head and scratched his hair with his hands as he spoke.He scratched very quickly, as if his scalp was about to be scratched by himself, he stopped when he felt his scalp was numb, when he took his hand off, his hair was as messy as weeds, and then Looking down, a surprised glance appeared. His pupils were facing upwards, his eyeballs kept moving left and right, his lips were slightly parted, and when he looked closely, his head was shaking constantly, and his veined hands were not moving. He kept grabbing the trousers above his thighs, as if he was afraid of something coming soon, and he felt a sense of guilt. At this moment, he was like a mental patient, anxiety and fear had completely filled his heart.Looking at his medical history, it is not once or twice that he has gone crazy like this.It is also the normal state of a person with low self-esteem, and the suffering of neuroticism.

This lasted for nearly 10 minutes before he completely calmed down, but there were two more clear tears on his cheeks.On his pale face, there was no expression at all, and the emptiness in his eyes was actually a little frightening.At this moment, he only felt helpless, only felt the injustice of the heavens. Such a disease was thrown on him when he was 14 years old. In the past four years, he felt the evil of the heavens. He felt that all things are evil, and the real ones Kind people should be like him, they will always be oppressed by God, oppressed by the same kind, until they die. Those truly kind people have long been killed by this world.He swore he would become evil, only evil people can live better.He stood up slowly, feeling very dizzy. He stroked his forehead with one hand, and quickly wiped away the remaining tears with the other. He felt better, so he hurried back home, and quietly closed the door.

At twelve o'clock at night, he was still on the bed, and he started thinking about the day's affairs again. He finally felt that it was his fault. He wanted to apologize to the owner of the vegetable field, but he didn't dare to go because of face. He even felt that he couldn't go out anymore, he was afraid that his heart would be cut like a knife when he heard those farmers yelling.He thought of the oath he made today, and he laughed out loud, "Haha, ridiculous, ridiculous, for a dying person like me, what should be trampled on by others should be regarded as a way of music, a kind of beauty." , kill a person who wants to live very much, see his painful face, listen to his pleading wailing. Then end his life, isn’t this a kind of beauty? Ah, haha, no wonder this world is so beautiful, I want to be The person who is about to be killed should be more beautiful, and according to the Bible, I can still go to heaven to share the happiness with God, it’s great, haha.”

This night, I don't know how long he thought about it, and I don't know if he fell asleep.

In the morning of the next day, there was no longer a slender boy walking on the quiet road in this village.

The weather this day is indeed very good - in the clear blue sky, there are a few white floating clouds floating bustlingly, and the ever-new bright sun is still moving slowly in its own orbit, from the south The breeze that blows gently flaps the branches and leaves of the trees, bringing a cool breeze and taking away the dust of Wumeng. There is a river nearby, and layers of brilliance appear on the surface of the water from time to time, but it does not It doesn't feel dazzling, but has a very attractive magic.Fresh air and warm sunshine filled the village and bathed everything on the earth.

In fact, he woke up early and finished his breakfast. Because he didn't dare to go out, he leaned over the table and flipped through a collection of poems he found randomly from the bookshelf. Feeling very bored, he drew the curtains and opened the The window, he was immediately attracted by the scenery outside the window:

"Why is the weather so good today? I'm sorry but I can't go out anymore, ah, is this a reward or a punishment? God deliberately showed me this way, wanting me to know my sins, knowing that I can't go out, but making The weather is so good, the abominable God, actually used such means to humiliate me. It’s not good, it’s not good.” He slowly looked at a corner of the sky outside the window, and he saw a few floating clouds in the sky, they were originally floating with the wind Suddenly slowed down, stopped there to look at him, and laughed there with a mocking face. "Hey, let you laugh, my ugly appearance, my thin body, deserves to be ridiculed, deserves to be trampled on, I want to restrain my emotions, I don't deserve to have vent, just Poor my vitality, which is supposed to be vigorous, why is it like grass sprouts under the ice and snow, and can’t grow at all? I hate that I am at the age when I should be able to do something, why is it like a dead body in a coffin, with no growth at all? The breath of living things?" He spit out these useless nonsense in his heart again, "Oh, forget it, living in pain is still alive, let alone these self-inflicted pains." After saying this in his heart, his eyes widened. I've been looking out the window, I don't know where he can think of when he looks at the scenery?After a long time, he finally withdrew his gaze, looked down at the book in his hand, and saw that there were some water marks on the two poems on the book, and he realized that his eye sockets were already wet.He looked at the two poems vaguely, and slowly read, "Ming Dynasty...if...go...to...Jiangtou...death..., this means...to trouble the king...to tell...Qu Ping..."

After a while, those two poems were stained with tears.

three

When he asked for leave this time, he had to bear it to the extreme before he walked into the office. When his head teacher heard him ask for leave, he immediately said, "Give me a month to go back and play." He didn't reply. He just silently wrote two dates separated by one month on the leave slip, and signed his own name.The head teacher looked at it, and asked him to write "Any accident happened, it has nothing to do with the school and the head teacher" at the end, so he left the painful school.

In school, because of his bad language, unhelpful behavior, lack of money, lack of social skills, thin body, and spiritual decline, he always seemed to be a good thing to be deceived.The homeroom teacher naturally didn't like him because of the trouble he had to ask for leave every time, and recently he also hated him a little bit, but it was a good deed to transfer his position to the back corner, which reduced other people's attitude towards him. He actually felt a sense of refinement in his heart. He knew in his heart that a noble personality is indeed difficult to pursue, but the kindness of the soul is what he yearns for all his life. In his heart, he no longer hates the world. All the people or things that disgusted him before, as well as everything that oppressed him, now to him, he only feels that they are pitiful, because they are pitiful. It is through ignorance and ignorance that evil is created, so he always has a compassionate heart for them.

But even though his mortal body can withstand all external things, he can't find a weapon to fight against the deterioration of his own body. He can only silently turn to the book, looking for some fictional characters The comfort given by him is to evolve his soul. He believes that a good soul will never develop feelings of hatred, let alone evil, but sometimes when he is in extreme pain, He can feel some hatred, including hatred towards himself. Although he doesn't express it on the surface, he knows that once he has these things in his heart, no matter how well he hides them, it will be useless. It can only show that he is still living in a small in a person's personality.

Tired all day long, apart from perfunctory study due to lack of energy, he suppresses his own personality. He thinks that he can achieve his ultimate goal in this way, so his classmates can always see in the back corner of the classroom every day. A cowardly creature with four limbs curled up there, its wretched ugly appearance really looked like a humble species that did not belong to humans.In fact, he who is rational doesn't know this, why doesn't he know that doing so is only harmful but not beneficial?But how can he break these?It's not that he doesn't know how to resist, it's just that he is incapable, where can he afford to resist?How many people in the world like him have put spiritual shackles on their humble self early.

"What do you want to transport the canopy? We have met before we dare to stand up." This poem sums them up perfectly.

When there is nothing to do between classes, it is rare for him to walk around.Just pasting it on the table, the brain has endless thoughts in an instant to compensate for his lack of action. He often pays for his physical misfortune with the sacrifice of his soul. When the incident happened, he wanted to vent his emotions, but afterwards he couldn't feel the laughter and entertainment like people sharing evil things with him. Instead, he felt inferior and annoyed, and his conscience felt a little more pain and remorse.During a spare time in a mathematics class, he wrote down all his emotions at that time in a section of his diary:

"Where is their conscience, where is their humanity? But I envy them, and I want to be, at least their conscience is pain-free, at least they don’t have a disease like me that is easy to blame and introspect. At this time, I resent the education I have received. For more than ten years, it has only taught me: to be honest and friendly to others; to distinguish right from wrong and convince others with reason; Bullying immature children, should it be so? Pity such a good education, but it can't win the trend of society! The man has only studied for many days, but it's time for the onset of neurasthenia.

How to repay the kindness of parents?Life is hopeless and death is late.

Alas, if I am lucky enough to have a good life at the age of 50, how many years will I have in the future?How much time do you have left to raise your parents?I don’t dare to think about it, and the tragedies are brought one by one by the passage of time. Speaking here, my worthless tears fell on the paper again. It can be said: end in anger, root in fear, condense in tears, Diverge in the article.I miss my dream, and I have to do it for the past! "

four

The red sun rises slowly, and the earth also brightens up. The clear sky in early autumn is like the eyes of a girl, deep and clear, and the more you look at it, the more lofty and clear you feel.On a secluded and slender gray concrete road in the countryside, a thin young man with a schoolbag and luggage, dragging his shadow, hurried towards the outside of the village, the cypress trees on the side of the road and the distance can be seen faintly The few houses in the village are vaguely embellished into a beautiful picture, which dissolves in the golden sunlight. From time to time, dogs bark in his ears, and cool breeze blows on his face from time to time. I don't know why. , I always feel that there is a kind of mourning that makes people cry.It turned out that the vacation he had requested had reached the last day.

After a while, he had already reached the asphalt road where he could take a car to the county seat. He could have found a wide place to stop and wait for the car, but he always had to walk a few miles before he encountered a car. He waved again to save a few dollars in expenses. He was born poor and humble, but the harmful thrift has grown in his bones. After passing a corner, he suddenly found that the left side of the road he had been walking on suddenly encountered a commercial vehicle. , it must stop on the right.So, after thinking for a moment, he hurriedly dragged his suitcase and walked straight across the road.

"Drip, drip,..."Chick..."

With the sound of brakes and horns, a tall truck suddenly stopped less than half a meter in front of him.He also happened to be standing in the middle of the right half of the road. The scene in this kind of movie almost frightened others out of their wits. His heart began to beat faster than ordinary people when they were frightened. If he doesn't divert his attention in time, his nerves will become anxious and make him more painful.

Suddenly the driver's scolding came to his ears, his attention was diverted, and his nerves were cleared up. He hurried to the side with his body and luggage, and kept apologizing to the driver.

The truck went away, leaving behind an extremely foul-smelling thick black smoke. In the black smoke, he could be seen vaguely panting rapidly with his skirt covering his mouth and nose.When the black smoke cleared, he suddenly laughed loudly: "Haha, haha, almost, almost, I can no longer bear the burden of this disease, and I don't have to be ridiculed by the sky anymore. But why is it so bad? How about a little?" With the end of this sentence, his expression quietly changed into a melancholy face.

The sun has reached the highest point of its trajectory, frightening away the shadows under the surrounding tree roots, and even frightening his timid thin figure back to a point.Beads of sweat also appeared on his forehead one by one, and he left their original home, eager to embrace the unknown dust,

"Even my own sweat despises me. My own health is too poor to give you a good place to live. How can I force you to stay? If you want to leave, just leave." Unknowingly, He groaned again, "Haha, am I such an ungrateful person myself? Isn't it because of my studies that I left home this time? Hey, my studies and my future , Is it also in that uncertain world? Kong Xun, Kong Xun!"

Not long after, he was already sitting in the belly of a bus, leaning his head against the glass window, closing his eyes, and exhaled faintly.

Outside the window, there is a long blue sky, leaving only a few shadows of clouds, dancing elegantly in the sky; a few rays of bright sunlight are sprinkled on the dark green leaves and soft grass.Under the high and steep green mountains, there is a clear and wide river around to reflect the majestic and majestic appearance.The proof of this beautiful scenery is enough to show that his hometown has not been infected by the urban industrial virus. This is also the most gratifying and proud place in his heart.

After about a quarter of an hour, he opened his eyes slightly, and ended the endless thoughts in his mind just now. He felt that his consciousness was very drowsy, but he didn't feel sleepy after all.He slowly looked out of the window, enjoying the edification of nature, to relieve his inner distress. Suddenly he saw the scenery in front of him, which was integrated into one. The mountain is like a face, and the river is like a smile. Gradually, it has become an extremely calm face, which is somewhat similar to human beings, and looks a little haggard. There seems to be tears flickering in the corners of the eyes, and it looks like it will cry in the next second. He felt the man's pity and innocence, so he stretched out his hand to comfort him. He slowly touched the man's face, but there was no warmth at all. The cold touch actually scared his hand back, "Dead? Dead, should it be?" You must be dead, how could your face be so cold, sin, sin, let me close your eyes for you!"

He slowly stretched out his hand again to close the man's eyes. At this time, the car just entered the mountain forest and the light dimmed. Only then did he see clearly the trees outside the car window and the window glass in front of him, and he realized what he had just done. It turned out that what he saw was his own face in the window, and the one he pitied just now was himself. He was the one who died, and he was the one who survived. He couldn't help but let out a wry smile: "Haha...hahaha..." Then he attracted strange looks from other people in the car, and he remembered that he was sitting in the car. He felt very ashamed, and his laughter stopped abruptly.

In fact, it was more not because of shame, but because he suddenly saw the tears in the corners of the eyes of the person in the window, slowly flowing down his cheeks.

五

The sky was getting dark, and his thin body had already been moved to the school by him. After losing his luggage in the dormitory, he hurried to the classroom, just in time for his head teacher's math class. For three years in high school, all their head teacher taught was textbooks. Every time I open the book, I read the words on the paper, or I will talk about the first set of multiple choice questions in the paper. .Therefore, he would not choose to listen carefully, but when he picked up a pen to study something deeper on the draft paper for the first time in his first year of high school, his class teacher immediately asked him to look at the blackboard, and he could only look at the blackboard helplessly. His thoughts changed, and after three years, he realized that the poison he had suffered had already happened, or maybe, he sometimes thought it was a conspiracy.

After making the report, as soon as he entered the classroom, because of the strictness of the head teacher, the students did not cast their eyes on him, but the more he did this, the more he felt everyone's eyes were squinting there with contempt, and the more he felt everyone's eyes. Fengrong, who always endured the mocking smile, felt a little uneasy, so he hurriedly took a weak step, walked to his seat in the corner of the back row of the classroom, and sat down to listen to the class.

He suddenly noticed that there were many messy test papers piled up on the table. Some of the originally square planes had grown into three-dimensional spherical shapes.It also saved his hands, so that he quietly kept a smile on the dullness of this class.

After class, the teacher strode out with a thin textbook between his hands, like a switch controlling the audio. The moment the middle-aged man stepped out of the classroom with his last leg, the noisy human voices were indistinguishable for a second. The sound spread to his ears, and it became a pain for him who likes to be quiet, because the more he rejects these sounds from his heart, the more clearly he hears them in his heart, the more chaotic the sound is, and the more involuntary his nerves become. Concentrate to distinguish the respective sources of these voices, and at the same time transmit these unwanted information to his mind. This sensitive nature seems to have existed in him when he was very young, and it seems to be born with him. He was also secretly a little annoyed, because his weakened brain power couldn't withstand such exhaustion, but he was powerless. In the past three years, he, who had rarely communicated with each other, had a feeling for most of the students in the class who didn't know each other. Learn more.

A few days passed, because of the noise of the classmates in the same dormitory every night, and the reflection of the light outside the corridor on the wall beside his bed, his insomnia soon shared his bed with him again.He was plugged with earplugs, blindfolded, and took sleeping pills, but because of his oversensitive nerves, he could always hear the noisy whispers of his classmates, always feel the dazzling light in front of his eyes, and always be in his mind. The thoughts that came from nowhere kept running, which made him sleepless all night. Sometimes he would suddenly get up from the bed in the middle of the night, search for the medicine under the pillow with red eyes, swallow it hastily, and then lie down and calm down again. By dawn, in fact, he had already taken the medicine before going to bed.

For people with insomnia, the night is always extremely long, and for people with neurasthenia, it is an endless torment.The sadness in his fate is probably all due to this.

After holding back for half a month, you can see that his complexion is getting paler, his temples are gradually stained with frost, and the empty boxes of medicines under his pillow are slowly piling up. It is impossible to guess whether he is afraid or desperate. But he himself never understood, why did he do this?Naturally, the school is not suitable for the patient to survive, but where can he be accommodated? How did he tear up the high hopes given by his parents? He knew that it was an empty dream, but he was forced by everything?But nothing forced him!

Clear sky, kind earth, would you be willing to give him such a simple reason.

After class at noon that day, the students rushed to the cafeteria one after another. He was lying quietly on the desk in the classroom, making a pillow with one hand and stroking his own head with the other. After experiencing severe pain, he seemed to be suppressing his complaints again. After half a moment, he stood up slowly. If he took a closer look, it was just a pair of dry sticks standing upright, his eyes were bloodshot , but I don’t know which nutritious place in his body the rich blood is drawn from. It’s a bit unexpected. If a kind person sees his appearance at this moment, he will naturally find a coffin for him and put it in his body. In front of him, he will definitely be moved to tears because of this. Compared with this cold world, maybe he is really willing to lie in the arms of the coffin. All the kind carpenters in the world, can you donate it to your warehouse? Can you use the extra strength in your arms to make a coffin for him with a few square meters of wood? , This is better than building a fourteen-level pagoda!You may understand?

He walked out of the classroom slowly, holding on to the railing of the corridor, and he came to the quiet playground alone, standing in the middle of the lawn, inhaling the comfortable oxygen, bathing in the gentle sunshine, blowing the breeze The cool breeze, suddenly felt a kind of love, a kind of long-lost love in nature, he looked at the blue sky, and looked at Yoyo