After cross-wearing with Xihua, I feel so fragrant

Jiang Ke felt that everything happened unexpectedly, but it seemed that it should be like that. The relationship that has been tense and suppressed will explode one day sooner or later.

She was a little confused, her heart ached.

Something weighed her down.

As usual, it was a cold confrontation with Jiang Yan, who blamed her for all the unsatisfactory things, as if she was useless.

Jiang Ke was silent.

When Jiang Yan questioned her attitude of not being in contact for a long time, she made a different voice from Jiang Yan for the first time.

"Why didn't you answer the phone? Why didn't you go home for so long? You are 20 years old, not a child, and not in the rebellious period. You have to consider the consequences when you do things."

"There's no reason, I just don't want to pick it up." Jiang Ke's tone was flat, and he explained directly, without the slightest fluctuation in expression: "The consequences are also very clear."

The moment the words fell to the ground, Jiang Ke felt that Jiang Yan's eyes turned cold several times.

She grew up under Jiang Yan's coercion since she was a child, and she was terribly sensitive to Jiang Yan's emotions.

Even though she didn't want to, Jiang Yan's eyes and micro-expressions could make her feel uncontrollable fear from the bottom of her heart.

"You have become a little unknown to me recently."

Jiang Yan lowered her eyebrows: "There is a limit to absurdity and depravity."

"Mom, I don't think I'm willing to degenerate." Jiang Ke lowered his eyes: "From childhood to adulthood, I didn't know exactly what your standards are. I don't know the standards of excellence or poor standards."

Jiang Ke raised his eyes, and his hair fell to his cheeks. His light brown pupils seemed to be showing some emotions that were ready to come out, but finally dimmed, and only tiredness could be seen: "I want to satisfy you, but I can't seem to do it. .”

Jiang Yan looked at her coldly: "If you want to, you should work harder."

"Really, as long as you work hard? Elementary and junior high school learn dance, piano, and painting. You said girls are good at learning these things. I worked hard. I tried my best to do my best. I also thought I did my best."

"I showed you the piano grading certificate, but you said it was not enough, because the grades were not the best."

"I threw myself into the pile of books again, I worked hard, and I was admitted to the best high school in the city."

"You said again, this is the beginning, I need to work harder, leave everyone behind, and get into a good university."

"I don't understand, every time I complete a goal and want to get your reward, you will always have endless demands waiting for me."

"Actually, I understand a little now. In this endless direction, I may never be able to satisfy you."

After listening to Jiang Ke's words, Jiang Yan frowned and her eyes were sharp: "As a mother, I think it's normal to have higher demands on my daughter. You need to control your emotions and don't think too much about it." Some are there and some are not.”

Jiang Ke laughed: "Mom, do you know why I went to see a psychiatrist?"

"Actually, I can't remember a lot of things when I was a child. Maybe it was because I felt very tired for a while. I suddenly started thinking about why I worked so hard."

"I want to make you like me and satisfy you, but I think of you telling me when I was a child, because my father and his family don't like girls, so, as a girl, I need to be outstanding, and I need to let them see to me."

"You told me that if I didn't do well enough, Dad's family would embarrass you, Dad would dislike you, and he would not want us. I feel very distressed when I hear you say these words."

"I'm afraid too. I'm afraid that my dad really doesn't want us. For a long time, I often go to my grandparents. I go to chat with them, I go to make them happy, and I tell them that I am doing well in school. Very good, I said, in fact, I am no worse than boys."

"But you still divorced Dad."

"The day Dad left, I saw you cry for the first time. You hugged me. I thought you were going to comfort me, but I heard you say it."

"Why aren't you a boy?"

Jiang Ke's eyes were red, as if trying to suppress his emotions.

"I was very uncomfortable at that time. I don't know if it was because you hugged me too tightly, or because I was very sad."

Jiang Yan interrupted her, staring at Jiang Ke with complicated eyes, her tone was not good: "So, what are you trying to express by saying this to me? I am not the one who dislikes you as a girl, and your father divorced me, isn't it?" because of you......"

Jiang Ke raised the volume: "Mom."

"Dad, is it really just because of me that he divorced you? Just because of me, a girl?"

Jiang Ke's voice trembled slightly: "I was young at the time, so I didn't understand. I thought I was doing something wrong, but as I grew up, I recalled every quarrel you had, was it really because of me?"

Jiang Ke looked down and saw that Jiang Yan's hands were tense, as if holding back something.

Jiang Ke's heart trembled.

But having said all this, Jiang Ke thought he couldn't take it back.

Think of it as venting, as if you can't control your emotions.

Jiang Ke closed his eyes and opened them again, his eyelashes cast a shadow on his pupils: "If I can realize it, you will know it yourself, right? That so-called excuse makes you blame me for all your mistakes, You trapped yourself to death, and you trapped me to death. Does this escape make sense? If all my efforts can't match my innate condition of being a boy, wouldn't it look ridiculous?"

The picture in front of him changed, and after a creaking sound of chairs being dragged, a gust of wind flashed in front of him.

Jiang Ke opened her eyes slightly, the burning pain on her cheek made her startled, she looked at Jiang Yan almost blankly.

Jiang Yan's hands had already been retracted, hanging on both sides, her chest was still heaving, showing uncontrollable anger.

In Jiang Ke's memory, she seldom quarreled with Jiang Yan, and there was even little emotion between them.

Whether it's anger, joy, nothing.

Like this time, Jiang Yan slapped her, which was also the first time.

Maybe it was because of the collision between the two that it was temporarily confiscated. When Jiang Yan realized it, what happened in front of her was no longer under her control.

In fact, Jiang Ke could understand Jiang Yan's gaffe and anger, because she tore apart Jiang Yan's things that Jiang Yan had hidden for many years nakedly, and placed them in front of the two of them. It's hard to restore.

The two stared at each other for a while, only the sound of breathing remained.

It was eerily silent.

The phone ringing broke the silence.

The phone in the pocket vibrated so much that the skin it touched was numb. Jiang Ke suppressed the soreness from the tip of his nose, took a breath, and took out the phone from his pocket to look at it.

It was Qiu Anbai calling.

Jiang Ke didn't answer it and let it ring for more than ten seconds.

She didn't look up until the phone hung up by itself.

The haze in front of her eyes was almost uncontrollable, Jiang Ke thought, because of that slap, she might look very embarrassed now.

Jiang Ke didn't dare to blink, she was afraid of revealing something, even though she might not be able to hide it anymore.

"Mom, there's still something to do at school, so I'm leaving first."

She insisted on saying this sentence clearly, without emotion.

Jiang Yan didn't stop her either.

The winter in City X is very cold, the cold wind hits the face like a knife cut.

Jiang Ke went downstairs quickly, but after leaving the community, he slowed down again.

She didn't have any strength anymore, her whole body seemed to be collapsed, only a shell was left to support her.

His hands were numb from the cold, but his face was hot.

Along the way, many people turned their attention to her.

Jiang Ke belatedly raised his hand, stroked his upper cheek, with tears in his hand.

The contact of ice and heat makes the two senses play to the extreme.

Jiang Ke walked to a bench and sat down.

She leaned down and noticed the cell phone that had been tightly held in her hand.

The cold air was sucked into the lungs, and it hurt like a needle prick. Because of the tears, my head was swollen and I couldn't think.

Jiang Ke turned on the screen, looked at the missed call, and tapped on it with trembling cold fingertips.

The other party answered quickly.

Qiu Anbai's voice is nice, sweet and crisp.

The seemingly comforting voice did not make the mood better, but intensified. Jiang Ke obviously felt a large blur in front of his eyes, and hot liquid slipped down his nose.

When the person on the other end of the phone anxiously asked where he was, tears rolled down his face.

For the first time, Jiang Ke felt that the winter in X City was so cold that it was daunting.

I don't know when the phone was hung up.

Jiang Ke stared at the void with his mobile phone in a daze.

She hated the feeling, couldn't control anything, tears, thoughts.

Her brain was in a mess, like a hidden monster living in her heart, engulfing her.

When Qiu Anbai rushed over, he saw Jiang Ke sitting alone on a bench with his head lowered. As he approached, he saw a bright red slap on his fair face, and his hair stuck to his cheek mixed with tears. On, embarrassed.

"Jiang Ke."

Qiu Anbai came running over, his breath still not calmed down.

Jiang Ke raised his head upon hearing the sound, and Qiu Anbai could see it more clearly.

The eye sockets were red, and the eyelashes were wet into tufts.

Looks pathetic as hell.

"What's wrong with you? What happened?"

Jiang Ke's lips fluttered. She was very uncomfortable, unconscious, and her heart hurt so much that every nerve was paralyzed. She couldn't understand what Qiu Anbai said at all, and could only see the slow opening and closing of her lips.

Everything in front of me is so blurred and slow.

What she said was also completely incoherent, not like communicating with others at all, more like talking to herself.

"After my father left, I was very afraid of the feeling of parting."

"I fear my home."

The eyes were filled with mist again.

"I only have her."

"I'm stubborn, I'm brave."

"But I have to admit that I can't do what she thinks in her heart."

"I don't want to trap myself in that circle."

"But I only have her."

Jiang Ke didn't answer Qiu Anbai's question, but she said every word, enduring the soreness in her throat, and wanted to speak clearly until she couldn't hold it anymore.

She is like a desperado, being chased by something every day.

Even though she didn't know what it was, she was running tirelessly.

Tired out of breath.

Qiu Anbai looked at the person in front of him and began to tremble slightly, his heart seemed to have a hole, leaking air.

Jiang Ke opened his mouth and wanted to say something more, but the hoarse voice swallowed everything, and the next second, the warm touch touched his eyes, and he fell into darkness.

She felt her eyelashes brush against Qiu An Bai's palm, and then her whole body was wrapped in softness.

Jiang Ke rarely has excessive physical contact with people, let alone hugs. This feeling is very strange, different from the time when Jiang Yan hugged her when she was a child.

She could feel that Qiu Anbai was very careful, just surrounding her, but still allowed her to feel the warmth of her body.