madness

With the sound of cicadas chirping, the iron ring was pulled open with a "click", and the cold soda poured out.

Bright white clouds swell and ferment slowly like cream puffs in the blue sky.

Lin Sisi was sitting by the window, climbing up a winding branch from the gaps in the residential buildings. She was wearing a pine green cotton dress, and her hair was like a waterfall. The dazzling sunlight almost made the ends of her hair appear radiant. golden.

Gu Zehuan knocked on the wide open wooden door at the side.

Lin Sisi reached out to press down her flying long hair, and turned slightly.

"haven't seen you for a long time."

She said.

The iron door was knocked, and there were two sudden rings in the silent night.

"Dong dong."

Gu Zehuan opened his eyes and woke up from the dream. The clock hanging on the wall beside him was pointing to 10:30 in the evening. He turned on the desk lamp beside him, and a broken double-tube lamp rang a few times. Reluctantly it lit up.

Gu Ze happily pulled on his slippers to open the door.

Standing outside the door was a wet black puppy, dripping water from the ends of his hair and the corners of his clothes. Unexpectedly, there was a thunderclap in the night, which illuminated his back.

Gu Zehuan reached out and stroked his wet hair, wiping off a drop of water that fell from the other's eyelashes with a patter.

Su Zhiyun's face was pale from the rain, and his lips were cold.

Gu Zehuan's hand was warmed by the rain in the middle of the night, and it even smelled a bit like roasted candy corn, sweet and sweet.

"Like Reservoir Dogs."

Gu Zehuan said.

Su Zhiyun didn't say anything, and Gu Zehuan didn't ask anything. He opened the door and accepted the late-night visitor without any suspicion.

Su Zhiyun walked in so wet and embarrassed.

Gu Zehuan went to the bedroom to find the clothes and towels that Su Zhiyun had worn last time, took them out and threw them on the sofa.

When he raised his head and looked at people, he always had a silent emotion, and he could let people know what he wanted to say without saying a word.

Su Zhiyun picked up the towel on the sofa and walked slowly into the bathroom.

Some steaming white mist escaped from the crack of the door, spreading slowly under the dim light. Gu Zehuan turned on the TV and picked out the discs to watch tonight. The electric fan beside him was spinning and humming continuously.

But after a while, Su Zhiyun came out of the bathroom with slippers on, and the smell of shower gel and shampoo swarmed in with the wide open door, instantly filling the entire living room.

After being washed, Su Zhiyun didn't look so wet like a puppy anymore, his hair was still curled up, and his body exuded hot steam, mixed with the sweet smell of shower gel.

Su Zhiyun stopped wiping his hair: "Don't you ask me anything?"

A cloud of mist overflowed from Gu Zehuan's mouth, covering his eyes. He only wore a thin white vest, and his deep collarbone seemed to be nestled in a bowl of sugar water in the shadows. He lowered his head while biting a cigarette, looking for a suitable movie.

"You will naturally say what you want to say, and you won't ask what you don't want to say."

Su Zhiyun was silent for a while, then suddenly snatched the cigarette from Gu Zehuan's mouth, and sucked it hard.

Gu Zehuan just looked at him quietly without saying a word.

Su Zhiyun only felt that the smoke was choking and astringent. Sudden inhalation made people want to cough. He adjusted his breathing, exhaled slowly from between his teeth, and turned his head to cover Gu Zehuan's mouth.

Su Zhiyun leaned over to hold down Gu Zehuan, clumsily looking for a way to pry his lips and teeth open like a baby sucking a pacifier.

Dim lights, rising smoke, and wet arms, it is hard to tell whether it is sweat or wet water. The electric fan is humming and turning, and some cool wind occasionally leaks in from the window.

Gu Zehuan's lips were bitten by Su Zhiyun again.

Su Zhiyun repeatedly licked and sucked at the broken area as if obsessed, tasted a bit of sticky salty fluid, mixed with a little invisible sweetness, and poured out his depression and depression wantonly.

"Bite when you are angry, and bite when you are sad. I don't know who taught you."

Gu Zehuan's tone was flat, making people wonder what kind of mood he was in, whether he was happy or angry.

Su Zhiyun moved lightly, and kissed his broken lips. Gu Zehuan's eyes seemed to be bright under the lamp, and the collarbone was full of honey, which was sweet.

"You taught me."

Su Zhiyun said so.

Gu Zehuan was taken aback for a moment, then laughed out loud without warning, his whole body trembling with joy.

Su Zhiyun didn't understand what he was laughing at, his slightly straight body was suddenly pulled down and pulled down.

Gu Zehuan opened his mouth and bit Su Zhiyun's shoulder blade, watched Su Zhiyun's eyebrows furrowed tightly because of the pain, and lightly licked his bleeding wound.

"If I taught you, then you bite too lightly."

"Maybe it's because I'm not as crazy as you." Enduring the pain, Su Zhiyun reached out and hugged Gu Zehuan tightly. He buried his head, and the coldness in his heart caused the lamps in the room to be driven away inch by inch, falling from his fingers and still burning out. Half a cigarette: "I can't become a person like you."

After a while, Gu Zehuan said, "Then continue to learn."

"What if you can't learn?"

Gu Zehuan didn't speak anymore. He lit half of a cigarette that fell on the table, took a puff slowly, and spit it out again. He didn't answer, but asked Su Zhiyun: "What do you think?"

He has a very faint green lemon smell, even if it is mixed with the smell of burning nicotine, it is not annoying. When Su Zhiyun smelled Gu Zehuan's smell, he calmed down inconceivably, feeling overwhelming sleepiness.

In summer, the human body is warm and soft, like a cluster of fire that can be held in the palm of the hand. Su Zhiyun wants to hide this fire and keep it in his heart. It is best not to leave the palm of his hand forever. He hugs Gu Zehuan tightly Unknowingly, his strength became stronger.

"It doesn't matter, I will work hard and be obedient, I will say whatever you want me to say, and do whatever you want me to do."

He exposed his dependence and fragility, the soft hair fell on Gu Zehuan's chest, swaying like a willow, Su Zhiyun's fatigue gradually submerged, and being close to Gu Zehuan brought him an unexpected sense of security and comfort, even his voice gradually became lower go down.

Su Zhiyun likes the smell of Gu Zehuan's body, and likes his taciturnity, without repeating details or asking more questions.

He didn't feel that the two of them were strange or alienated, just like Gu Zehuan never confided anything to Su Zhiyun, and he never confided anything to Gu Zehuan.

A door that will be opened for him, a set of pajamas and towels in the closet, the same cup and toothbrush on the sink, all these make Su Zhiyun feel at ease and calm.

The subtle taste of green lemon relaxes the nerves that have been swollen for a long time.

Fatigue and sleepiness make consciousness gradually blurred.

Su Zhiyun uttered the last sentence in a low voice like a dream: "So don't leave, and don't give up on me."

The electric fan buzzed over, and after a long time, the cigarette in Gu Zehuan's hand was burned out, and two moths were dangling around the lamp tube. He extinguished the cigarette butt on the coke can beside him, and did not hear it again. Su Zhiyun's voice.

The other party's chest rose and fell slightly, and a sleeping face appeared from the messy hair in Gu Zehuan's arms. His arms were still tightly wrapped around him, and his fingers seemed to be intertwined and knotted, unwilling to separate at all.

……

The summer is long, and there is only the sun that blocks the sky in my memory, and there is nowhere to hide.

Gu Zehuan sat on the floor and lit a second cigarette for himself. There was still lightning and thunder outside the window, and the heavy rain was pouring down. There was no light to be seen, and the fan inside the room was still spinning.

The volume of the TV was turned down, and the human voice was ambiguous, making it impossible to tell what was being said. Gu Zehuan pulled the Coke tab, and a lot of bubbles gushed out with a "sizzling" sound, making his fingers sticky.

The disc is "Romeo and Juliet" starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes in 1996.

Creator Shakespeare said that love is a madness.

Gu Zehuan took a sip of the cold Coke.

Su Zhiyun curled up on the sofa to sleep, and a length of blanket fell from under his shoulder blades.

The fan made his hair flutter a little, and his chest rose and fell slowly with his breathing.

Lin Yuansi, Gu Zehuan's mother's remarriage partner, called yesterday, expressing apologetically and euphemistically his daughter Lin Sisi's request to meet him again.

"haven't seen you for a long time."

The girl who saw Gu Zehuan again made no secret of her joy and couldn't help it.

Lin Sisi had never seen Gu Zehuan since her last suicide attempt, and she was forced to lose all news about Gu Zehuan because of her illness.

Lin Sisi pinned her long hanging hair behind her ears.

A section of winding branches seemed to grow from the thin white fingers. The long hanging hair and the raised ankles under the skirt made Lin Sisi look even weaker, almost fragile.

Her eyes were still full of burning love, her cheeks were as thin and fair as a flower bud made of white paper, and a blush rose in the sun.

Lin Sisi looked very thin, even thinner than when Gu Zehuan saw her before. She was absorbed by the vain and strange love, and gradually withered away and died.

"You wore the white shirt that we two met on the first day."

The girl who saw her sweetheart when she was dying suddenly exuded a compelling bright light and smiled.

"This is what you asked for." Gu Zehuan raised his face slightly, but there was no expression on his face: "Since I have come here according to your request, after today's meeting, you should see a psychiatrist."

The sweetness and tenderness on Lin Sisi's face suddenly receded, and turned into a deep distortion and hatred. The boy's indifferent appearance made her angry and annoyed. She rushed over and buried herself in Gu Zehuan's arms.

"You shouldn't be talking about this now! You should be kissing me passionately! Touching me! Hugging me!"

Gu Zehuan broke off the girl's fingers wrapped around her waist.

Lin Sisi untied her suspender skirt, most of which slid down, revealing the girl's snow-white and delicate ketone body. She did not shy away from her mostly naked body, and kissed Gu Zehuan's neck eagerly, as if she were willing to sacrifice.

"Why? Just because I'm your sister?"

"Is that why you don't do anything?"

"I've clearly seen you kiss other girls. You hugged and slept with other girls, intervened in those couples who seemed to be deeply in love, played with them, and did all kinds of vile, despicable and shameless things, you Think I don't know anything. Gu Zehuan, why are you pretending to be sacrosanct now?"

The girl's bare chest was strikingly white in the sun, Gu Zehuan lifted the shoulder straps scattered on both sides with her fingertips, wrapped them around Lin Sisi's shoulder blades and tied them up.

"I don't do anything just because I'm not interested in you."

"So even if you stood in front of me naked, I wouldn't be interested at all."

"Why! Why can't I?"

Lin Sisi stopped Gu Zehuan, hysterical.

"I like you. I became like this because of you. Don't you really know? Are you really so indifferent?"

Gu Zehuan didn't answer her, but closed the door with a "click".

"Huanhuan is here?" Lin Yuansi, who just entered the door, looked tired. He obviously just came back after work. He glanced at the closed door and expressed some disappointment: "Did Sisi talk to you?" What did you say? Did you agree to see a doctor?"

"She didn't say anything."

Lin Yuansi sighed again, very depressed.

"sorry to bother you."

There was a vending machine downstairs, and there was only the last can of Coke left in it. After bidding farewell to Lin Yuansi, Gu Zehuan walked to the first floor and stopped in front of the vending machine.

Lin Sisi climbed onto the window sill and stared down at the sparse crowd like an ant colony downstairs. The white clouds were fluffy and fermented like a ball of cream puffs. She calculated the time it would take for Gu Zehuan to go from upstairs to downstairs, then let go of her hands and let herself fall .

Someone suddenly fell from the clouds, like a shattered cake, the sharp wires were torn apart, a long silk thread was pulled out, and then with a "bang", bright red jam flowed out.

Gu Zehuan took a step back amidst the screams one after another.

The white shirt was splashed with red stains, like mildew growing from the corner.

In just a few seconds, he will collide with the falling girl, and his flesh and blood will be fused and shattered.

Gu Zehuan wiped off the blood splattered on his face, and the carbonated drink in his hand slowly gushed out a stream of bubbles.

Shakespeare said that love is a madness.

The author says:

Is Gu Zehuan in love with Su Zhiyun/Is Gu Zehuan in love with Su Zhiyun? I will not answer this question for the second time. I have made it very clear before...the relationship between them includes all the emotions that can be recognized , friendship, love, family affection, and above all, it is more complicated and morbid than this.

It is really meaningless to simply entangle whether there is love or not.

From Gu Zehuan's point of view, his love for Su Zhiyun is a kind of love, and love is not only a kind of love (it's just that Gu Zehuan's love is different from the cognitive form of normal people).

From the point of view of a normal person, they would not think that Gu Zehuan is love, but would think that he is crazy.