dancer on the knife

In February 2003, after escaping from the cosmetics company, I began to join the army of job seekers again.As usual, buying newspapers, checking job postings online, and posting resumes on the Internet almost went nowhere.I saw a classmate working as an intern reporter in a newspaper office, so under his introduction, I also went for an interview, and Zeng Zhizhi was actually accepted.Although the position is a reporter, it is actually an advertising business.But in order to have the opportunity to really step into the position of reporter on such a platform, I chose to accept it.

Each employee has his own industry division of labor, and the industry I was assigned to was office supplies, so my circle of activities was mainly the computer city around the train station.Every day, I wear a suit and tie, carry a briefcase, and take the morning school bus to the city. From doing nothing every day, I start a business life that comes and goes in the wind and rain.

In Changsha in spring, there is continuous rain, and against the wind and rain every day, we travel through the streets and alleys of the city.Walking on the streets of the city in a state of confusion, the busy streets are full of wetness.Due to the soaking of the shoes for a long time in the rain, the insoles and the socks have been stuck together, and the cold and wet heart is squeezed out of water, which also confirms the mood at this time.There is no way, this is work, this is life.

Looking at the gates of those stores or the company's location, there is always some hesitation, and then I force myself to go in, hand out business cards, newspapers, and then explain.More often, it is rejection, and rejection after rejection is repeated every day.But there are also some units that will express some interest. This little hope just brings me confidence and motivation.

One day after the rain, I pushed open the door of Ryzen for the fourth time and walked straight to the service desk.

"Excuse me, is Mr. Xie there?"

"Mr. Xie is not here, he will come at about 02:30 in the afternoon!"

After expressing my thanks to the front desk staff, I walked out again helplessly.Raising his right hand, he looked at his watch and it was only 13:25. It seemed that he would have to wait another hour.But how should I spend this time?I thought of a lounge under the arcade of the office building, at least there are a few benches there for me to take a break.The wind whistling between the high-rise buildings, blowing on the face is as uncomfortable as a knife, but what can be done?In order not to have any problems with the signing of the meeting later, I simply took out the contract again, carefully considered every word, and became familiar with each content.No one can understand my mood at this moment, helplessness, fear, depression, so I waited until 14:30, in order not to make another trip in vain, I directly dialed Mr. Xie's mobile phone, and the answer was an ambiguous answer, he Said that I still need to think about it, what can I do?Customers are always God.I sat in the car for nearly an hour in the wind and rain, but I had to go back without seeing anyone.Although I was unwilling and kept cheering myself up, the feeling of loss in my heart still made me suffocate like being stuck in the sand.

Before going to bed at night, thinking about being busy running around every day, but still getting nothing, how can I be indifferent?I really don't know whether it is necessary to stick to this job. I have worked hard for more than half a month, but I have not seen any results, and my mood is very complicated.Not reconciled to quitting so easily.Giving up means failure, but I want to live. Although being a reporter of the rights protection department of a newspaper gives people a sense of pride, there are so many voices hidden behind the pride.In this job, I have invested several hundred yuan, and if I don't earn back the cost, can I be willing?No, that seems unlikely.When I was doing this job, I never imagined that there would be such great resistance.Around the railway station, I went to all the office equipment stores and companies, leaving the last two interested units.And these two units seem to be engaged in a protracted war with me.Chongming company has been there five times, and Ruilong company has also been there seven times.As long as the two units don't express their non-cooperation, I will never quit.

Every time I send a business card to my classmates or alumni, the two shining words on the business card: reporter always give me a sense of satisfaction.But from the day I joined the job to the present, in less than a month, the Human Rights Protection Department has grown from more than 40 people at the beginning to about [-] people now, and people really quit every day.How many people can be left in the end?In such a knockout match, the ones left in the end are the people that the newspaper office really needs, and my own results are so pale, I feel a kind of confusion again, and I can't fall asleep for a long time.

After a while, I walked into the elevator again and pressed the familiar floor. This is the 13th time No. went to Chongming Company.Unlike usual, this time I came to pick up the goods, and walked into Mr. Xie's office again with shame. He was still very busy, and I sat down and waited habitually.

After Mr. Xie finished his work, he signed a contract with me.The difference from other businesses is that instead of using all cash as the advertising fee, a machine is used to deduct the deduction, and an additional 100 yuan in cash is paid.After the contract was over, Mr. Xie led me to pick up the goods, but unfortunately, the agreed product model was out of stock, so I had to come back in the afternoon.So, I had to leave temporarily.After leaving Tianxin Computer City, it was still early, so I went to the dumpling restaurant to eat dumplings, which was regarded as Chinese food.These days when I am running business, I almost always eat dumplings as Chinese food, after all, it is cheap and affordable.

In the afternoon, I went to the Chongming company again and got the fax machine, and of course 100 yuan in cash.I went to the newspaper office in a happy mood. When I talked to the director about the commission, he said that there was a 40% commission, so the total commission was 480 yuan.When I went to work the next day, the director talked to me and said that there was something wrong with the commission mentioned yesterday, and that there was only a commission of more than 200 yuan.In view of the fact that I had invested several hundred yuan in the early stage, I calculated the money carefully with him, and finally determined that it was a commission of 320 yuan.In just one night, another 100 yuan was lost.

Thinking about being an intern reporter in a newspaper office, what I do is to run business, and there is no basic salary. It is really difficult to survive, so I proposed to resign and ask for a settlement commission, but the director told me that because the business I brought was mainly It was a real thing, so I could only give me a few parts of the fax machine. I was very angry and had no choice but to give up, and left the director's office empty-handed.Thinking of this newspaper office that once made me feel brilliant, I have only worked for more than 40 days, and it seems that it is coming to an end again.

On the car going back, thinking about the first job I experienced, it was nothing, and the next thing was going to be nothing.Facing the future life, I suddenly fell into confusion.Looking at the houses flying by outside the window, I don't know how to go in the future?I just came to the conclusion that I may not be suitable for business, what I need more is stability and survival, and I should use this as a benchmark in future job hunting to avoid repeating the same mistakes.