salt by salt

It wasn't until Yang Chen's figure disappeared at the end of the corridor that I suddenly came back to catch up with him.Song Cheng grabbed my wrist: "Where are you going?"

I whispered to him: "I'll go talk to him, otherwise I don't know what he will do to you in the future."

Song Cheng frowned disapprovingly, as if he wanted to say something else.I don't know where the movement of raising his hand affected, he covered his stomach and his face turned pale from the pain.I raised my head and looked at the embarrassed Yang Ke: "Please find someone to take him to the hospital."

He clicked his tongue: "Brother Yang..."

"I'll take care of it." I took a few steps closer to Yang Ke, and lowered my voice so that only the two of us could hear, "Don't tell him anything about me or Yang Chen."

"Can we still go to the dinner tonight?" Yang Ke looked at Song Cheng who was leaning against the wall and coughed and nodded, his voice was also very soft, "Jiajie has been making connections for this time for a long time, Brother Xu, you can also persuade Brother Yang by the way."

"...I will try my best."

I couldn't bear to look back at Song Cheng's disappointed expression, so I hurried to the direction Yang Chen left.

Along the way, I grabbed the staff and asked him where he was going. Fortunately, he had just left not long ago, and such a man with an extremely good appearance is easy to be remembered.I finally stopped Yang Chen at the corner who was walking in a hurry and was full of depression. He shook off my hand impatiently.

Not knowing where the courage came from, I casually pushed open the room with the half-hidden door next to me and dragged him in.It seemed to be a dressing room, and it was a mess, but fortunately there was no one there.

I locked the door behind my back, Yang Chen folded his arms and looked at me coldly.He was already handsome, but now his face seemed to be covered with a layer of ice, adding a layer of temperament that should not be approached by strangers.

It's just that I didn't care to appreciate the beauty, and I heard him say: "Xu Junyan, do you really think I won't beat you?"

Seeing that he wasn't too bad to me, I relaxed a little in my heart.Still take out the way I used to deal with him, first of all I have to swallow my anger, I called him in a gentle tone: "Yang Chen, listen to my explanation..."

"Xu Junyan!"

Someone called my name and I jerked my head back.

It was early summer and we were hosting spring sports that had been delayed by the rain.I originally participated in the high jump event by making up the number, but I didn't expect to get into the final by luck.Everyone went to cheer for the other students, and no one paid attention to me who was destined not to get a ranking.

The sun was shining brightly, and the high-spirited boy was holding his school uniform in one hand, standing on the edge of the field and smiling at me.

He threw the sports drink he prepared to me, and I hurriedly caught it.The sparkling boy raised his chin and said commandingly: "I came here specially to watch your game, don't embarrass me!"

The bottles and jars of cosmetics on the table were overturned by him, and the mirror fell to the ground and made a shattering sound, which stopped me from what I was going to say next.

I stood dumbfounded at the door, watching Yang Chen destroy everything within sight of this room.The only thing I said was like hitting his explosive point. He was circling around the room like a trapped beast full of rage, smashing everything in his hand like crazy, and he didn't care if his arm was bleeding. Continue to destroy.

Soon it became a mess except where I was standing, with broken debris all over the floor.Yang Chen's handsome face was almost ferocious because of the ferocious expression, the cheek turned towards me was scratched by the splashed glass, and a conspicuous bright red stung my dull nerves.

He panted heavily, and said the second sentence after entering this room:

"...Xu Junyan, I don't want to hear you lie anymore."

In the chaos, I belatedly noticed the heaviness in the air, and suddenly I couldn't utter the excuse that was on my lips.When I lowered my eyes I saw a few drops of blood dripping from his arms and fingers on the ground.

He must be in pain.

"I was wrong. Yang Chen, I was wrong."

Looking at his expression, I felt a sense of fear for no reason, and I bowed my head and admitted my mistake in a low voice.

I'm not afraid of Yang Chen getting angry, I have a thousand ways to face his anger.After all, we have quarreled countless times, and I have summed up my experience just how to appease him.He was like a child, his anger came and went quickly, and the bad words he said were not from the truth, they were just to let me follow his mood.

I'm afraid he will be sad.Because I know what it's like to be hurt, and I know that arguments don't make people leave.

But disappointment is okay.

The first place in the high jump competition was undoubtedly the sports student, and I only got the last place in the final.I sat down on the rest mat in frustration, but someone patted me on the shoulder.Yang Chen sat down beside me and looked at the noisy crowd on the playground: "You danced well, that was pretty cool."

I hugged my knees and looked into his beautiful eyes. The loss in my heart was about to overflow, and I murmured, "...I'm ashamed of you."

"You're kidding, idiot." He stretched out his hand and flicked my forehead, "No matter how bad you dance, I'm still here?"

I gently approached Yang Chen, let him sit on a sofa that was still intact, and half-kneeled in front of him to check his wound.

He didn't move and let me manipulate him, but the uneasiness in my heart has not disappeared, I need to confirm that he still belongs to me: "Yang Chen, talk to me... what are you thinking?"

"Xu Junyan, aren't you tired?" Yang Chen said after an unbearable moment of silence, "I'm tired. You don't love me at all, is this interesting?"

"I love you." I said love words that I thought were clumsy, "I have always loved you."

"Then tell me what happened to that person?!"

Yang Chen slammed his hand around my throat, and I met his beautiful eyes.He just uttered words to question calmly, but it was more frightening to me than roaring: "I want him to stay in City B—no, not only here, unless he dies, I won't let him go!" he."

"Don't...don't do this. It doesn't matter what I do...don't touch him...please..."

My intermittent begging did not shake Yang Chen, he indifferently opened my fingers on his wrist, and smiled at me.

That smile is very sad, I have never seen him like this.

Yang Chen likes harmless acting like a baby, in fact, he rarely even shows his real fragility.

He should be the scorching sun, should be the summer, always hot and proud, high-spirited and mighty.

At this moment, he should also be full of joy of revenge, but my vision is blurred after desperately absorbing oxygen, and I can feel the breath of sadness in a trance.

Will Yang Chen also cry?

He released his hand to let me breathe, and said softly, "I get it. Don't worry, I'll make your 'boyfriend' regret touching you."

For Yang Chen, it was easy to destroy Song Cheng.

If he banned Song Cheng, all the efforts Song Cheng made now would be in vain.Song Cheng is working so hard to live seriously, if the future he loves and longs for is easily crushed by Yang Chen's words, how sad will he be?

If only he knew earlier that being gentle to me would lead to misfortune, if only he had never met me, if only I hadn’t longed for the warmth of being loved and decisively broke up with him.

I have never hated my indecision so much.

My dazed sight is full of chaos like a disaster scene, my life is as irreversible as this room, and even the light that gets close to me will be dragged into the quagmire.

"Xu Junyan..."

Yang Chen caressed my face, I expected that my expression must be ugly now, but he completely ignored it.His fingers lightly touched my eyelids, lowered his head against my cheek, and asked:

"If you really love me, why did you cheat? What am I inferior to him? Do you know what you missed? I really want to spend my whole life with you, can't you feel it?"

Later I understood that "I didn't leave if you danced so badly" and "I won't leave no matter how bad you are" meant the same thing.

Yang Chen won't leave.Now it is different from before, the person bound by love has become him.Even if the pure love between us may no longer be the same as before, even if my attitude towards him has long since changed, even if it is discovered that I slept with Andre, he will not really leave me.

No matter how many times we parted ways because of arguments, as soon as I reached out again, he would come back.

We are destined to be entangled and fall into the deepest abyss together.

—I used to think so.

Yang Chen restrained his hostility, and for the first time I felt like a helpless child.The blood on his arm dripped under my left eye, and a liquid more viscous than tears slid down my cheek, as if the eyeball that was damaged by him many years ago was crying.

Semen, tears, blood.

This face was contaminated with his breath countless times.

I woke up from my stupid smugness and suddenly realized that I was not going to have the upper hand at any time.Because of the removal of pain that constitutes Xu Junyan, there is also the memory of being with Yang Chen.

But it's too late to say that now.

Yang Chen withdrew his hand, he said: "I gave you a chance, you let go first... Ha, forget it... It's meaningless to say these things. Don't pretend, you don't love me a long time ago. I have big Take the time to entertain your 'boyfriend' and see what happens to the person you fall in love with."

"He is innocent." I know he always keeps his word, but now he can only threaten dryly, "Yang Chen, don't do this... If you really attack him, I won't let you go. We've been together for so long, I know everything I should know and what I shouldn't know, you don't want your reputation to be damaged, do you?"

It was so despicable that I couldn't even look him in the eye after I finished speaking.

He seemed to have heard something funny, and the hostility that had just dissipated returned to him: "Xu Junyan, do you have a heart? Did you consider my feelings when you were with him? But it doesn't matter, you have Just do what you can. I won’t fight back no matter how you want to deal with me. Is this in line with your wishes? Oh, probably not, after all, no matter what I do..."

I raised my head abruptly, watching his cold expression with a faded smile, the beautifully shaped thin lips opening and closing to spit out sharp words.

"...you don't even care."

The boy shining in the sun is blurred in my memory, I just remember the joy I couldn't hide when I saw him that day.I no longer envy those athletes who have a group of people cheering on them. I just need him to stand beside me to have the courage to jump up.

I'm sure I actually touched the sun for a second before landing hard on the cushions.

My own sun.

So... Yang Chen, I care about your feelings.

I care.