salt by salt

After drinking for three rounds, Lao Luo answered the phone, saying that his friend had something to do and he would go for a while, let us continue to play.Before leaving, he patted me on the shoulder meaningfully: "It's rare for you two to have a chance to get to know each other deeply, don't be restrained. It happens that I'm not here, so you can still tell me some little secrets that you don't want me to hear, right? I'll be back in a while."

When he went out, Song Cheng leaned on the sofa and asked me with a smile: "You two, are you still playing?"

"...Let's play." My voice is a little hoarse, but I can still smile. I admire myself.I shrugged, and picked up the turntable resignedly, "Maybe there is some shady little secret between us?"

Song Cheng looked at me and didn't speak.He has deep eyebrows, and now he looks oppressive, and his handsome facial features have lost their warm warmth in the past under the changing light.Before I thought he was going to refuse, he spoke slowly, but with a smile in his voice:

"Okay."

The two of us re-rolled the needle, and it was me in the first round.As soon as Lao Luo left, the atmosphere in the air instantly lost that joyful lightness and became subtly dull.I have no story to tell, so I can only say: "A little secret, I don't like to eat celery. But picky eaters are not allowed at home, so I reluctantly ate it for a long time. Later, I was able to decide the recipe by myself, and I realized that I was used to this taste. "

Song Cheng's eyes were soft, as if the gloomy expression just now was just my illusion: "I will pay attention when I cook next time."

"Actually, I now decide that celery is quite delicious, especially when you make it. It tastes very good." I raised the corner of my mouth as a smile, and the pointer pointed to Song Cheng for the second time.Although the two of them were playing a confession game, it was either me or him, I was still relieved, "It's your turn."

"Let me think about it..." Song Cheng frowned, he was thinking very seriously, probably there was nothing that could be called a secret to reveal—different from the muddy past that I couldn't reveal, he was so sincere Clean, unbearable to defile.

I looked at his side face and sighed very lightly, as if I could spit out the reluctance and pain from my body.

"Small things are fine. You see, I only mentioned celery." Seeing that he was too embarrassed, I said out loud, "It's okay, just play games... that's all."

"Okay." He smiled at me, "When I was in primary school, there was a boy in the next class with long hair. I thought he was a girl, and I handed him a love letter."

Even though I was in a bitter mood, I couldn't help laughing when I heard this: "What happened next?"

"Later I saw him enter the men's room, and I couldn't believe it." He smiled with his eyes wide open. "At that time, my heart was about to break."

"You must have been cute when you were little," I whispered, "I really want to see it with my own eyes."

Song Cheng smiled slightly: "I will show you the photos when I have a chance."

The new round refers to me.I shrugged: "I lifted my teacher's skirt when I was a child."

"why?"

"She was wearing a long skirt, and my classmates and I played hide-and-seek, so we wanted to hide under her skirt." I said helplessly, "Children's thinking is really strange."

"What happened then?" He asked curiously, "You were criticized?"

I smiled: "No. The teacher is very nice and didn't argue with me."

In fact, it was the teacher who notified the Xu family, which became an ironclad proof of the rapist's dirty genes in Xu Junyan.

Probably inspired by me, when it was Song Cheng's turn, he said: "In high school, I didn't want to do extra homework assigned by the teacher, so I changed the names of all the papers written by a classmate to mine... Well, I did bad things back then. There is no psychological burden, and I am proud that I don’t have to write it myself. Thinking about it now, I feel sorry for others.”

I asked strangely: "Didn't he notice it? Even if he didn't pay attention, the teacher will definitely ask him why he didn't write it, and then you will be exposed."

"That classmate is very nice." Song Cheng lowered his eyelashes, and he replied in a low voice, "It should be that he silently agreed to write a new copy."

"You really have a good temper." I nodded, "Go on."

Thanks to this game, I learned many innocuous little secrets of Song Cheng from childhood to adulthood, and I also told all the things I could say that would not reveal my identity.For some reason, today's pointer always turns to me, and it is Song Cheng's turn to be the one who tells three secrets.When it finally turned on me again, I literally racked my brains and couldn't think of anything new to say - God knows I even confessed that I wet the bed when I was seven.

Lao Luo hasn't come back yet, I thought in my heart, maybe even fate requires me to confess tonight.

Song Cheng watched me remain silent for a long time, and said softly, "Jun Yan, let's forget it if you can't figure it out, it's just a game."

I took a deep breath and pulled out a not ugly smile: "No, I still have something to say."

Song Cheng looked at me quietly.

I sorted out my thoughts, and said slowly: "The secret I want to tell you about this game is: Regarding the marks on my body last time, you thought it was a money transaction, but it wasn't like that...I'm sorry, I didn't admit the truth."

"That mark was made by my ex-boyfriend. We have known each other since high school. Because of my brother's affairs, he has been subsidizing me a lot of money, so even though I don't like him, I have to pay back with my body. Later my brother's body Much better. I wanted to get rid of his entanglement. I quit my original job and went to work in the clubhouse. I also changed my name and changed my place of residence. At this time, I met you... I really thought I could have a new life gone."

"But my brother's condition worsened that night, and I was found by him again in the hospital. He used my brother's life as a tool to threaten me. Although it's funny to say that, do men also say this... But it's true. Because I Keep rejecting him and he raped me that day."

When I looked up I was tear-stained.I looked at him calmly and restrained the trembling of my voice: "Song Cheng, I'm sorry. It was a lie to tell you that I only went to high school. Although my family background is not good, I got into a good university by myself. Had a good job too. Now there is nothing because of that madman."

Speech stopped because of choking.I lowered my head again, covered my face with my hands, the desperation and sadness in my voice could wring out water, and knelt down in front of Song Cheng:

"I'm sorry...but I really like you, I don't want you to know this, I'm afraid he will hurt you, I don't want you to be hurt...Obviously I have tried my best to hide, why would I be found by him... I'm so useless...It's okay to break up with me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I really can't do anything well, I want to always be a good person in front of you..."

When I uttered these half-truths and half-false lies, I was almost surprised by myself.Although I had long planned to use the multi-faceted language to confuse Song Cheng, the tears welling up in my eyes were beyond my expectation, and the broken emotions revealed seemed real.Before waiting for the astonished Song Cheng to react, I let tears drip from my fingers, and I still had time to think in my heart:

Have I been on the wrong track for so many years, in fact, I am born to be an actor?

He helped me up in a hurry, took out several tissues to wipe my tears, and said incoherently: "Jun Yan, don't cry... I never blamed you! It's okay to say that, you are always special in my heart." Okay, really. Be good, your eyes are swollen from crying, oh, what are you doing with these despondent words? I can't break up with you, absolutely impossible. "

I was hugged by him, and my face was buried beside his turtleneck sweater. His reaction was completely planned—it was impossible for the gentle Song Cheng to break up with the miserable Xu Junyan, and his conscience would not allow him to be in this place. Time to abandon me.

But in order to prevent him from reacting to something wrong in the future, he needs to strike while the iron is hot and go further.I slowly stopped my sobs and looked up at him: "I'm sorry..."

"Don't say I'm sorry." He put a finger on my lips with a serious and serious expression, "Jun Yan, don't say such things in the future, okay? You are not wrong, you don't need to apologize. It's my problem, I didn't notice The help you need."

He was too kind and considerate, which made me feel a little guilty, and it took me a while to murmur what I had thought up: "Do you think I'm dirty? Do you hate me?"

"No, don't say that about yourself." He and I interlocked our fingers, "You didn't lie on purpose. No wonder you look unhappy all day long. It must be difficult to be entangled by this kind of person. We But couple, you can rely on me at any time, so that I will bear everything by myself and I will worry. If he comes to you in the future, tell me, okay? I will find a way to help you solve it. It’s not that we can face difficulties together—and regardless of you No matter what kind of gentleman, I like you."

"Yeah." I wiped away the tears indiscriminately, raised my face and kissed him softly, and finally got to the point, "Recently... I accidentally submitted a resume to the original company for a try, and it passed. Go back to work. If you are a waiter, no matter how many part-time jobs you have, you will not be able to raise enough money. This is not the way to go on, I have to have a showdown with him. Besides, I already have your real boyfriend, and I am not afraid of him."

His eyes were gentle: "OK."

I hugged him and refused to let go, and continued to act coquettishly: "At first, I thought that even if you would break up with me after confessing, I must tell you the truth, because I don't want to deceive you again. I like you so much, I lie to the person I like It's really hard."

Song Cheng kissed me on the cheek: "That's right, we can't hide our problems, we have to face them bravely until they are resolved. Isn't it much better to say it now?"

The dry tears made it very difficult to smile, and when I raised my smile, I almost felt a pain in my muscles: "... yes."

But this little pain is nothing to me, because lying to someone I like is especially uncomfortable.

Now... my heart is dying of pain.