salt by salt

I seem to be back in that mountain courtyard.

The branches of the crabapple tree are full of green fruits, and the sky is full of sunset. Song Cheng brought a rocking chair and sat with me under the tree to enjoy the shade.He was afraid that I would feel hot, so he kept shaking the cattail fan to fan me.

I'm embarrassed to say, stop shaking, aren't your hands tired?

He smiled at me without answering, just bent his eyes and raised the corners of his lips.His eyelashes are long and his pupils are a warm brown, which looks good when he smiles.

He just smiled like that, and then said: "Toshihiko, you promised me."

I woke up suddenly from the dream, and the turbulent emotions in my chest were hard to calm down, making my heart palpitate.

In the early hours of the morning, Yang Chen was awakened by my movement of turning over and sitting up.He was so sleepy that he yawned, picked up his phone, squinted his eyes and looked at it: "It's only two o'clock, and it's still dark, why are you up?"

I lay down again and whispered, "It's okay. I had a... nightmare."

"Oh." He stretched out his hand and pulled me into his arms, rubbed the top of my hair with his chin, and muttered, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, I'm here."

The scene in the dream is lingering and keeps appearing in front of my eyes, which makes me feel uneasy.

Song Cheng should also be resting at the moment.Will he suffer from insomnia like me?When he wakes up in the middle of the night, facing the current situation, will he regret meeting me?

Yang Chen's hand patted on my back, and the steady breathing sounded in my ears.After an unknown period of time, I fell asleep again.

Lin Ya's birthday is approaching, she used this as a reason to invite me out to relax.

She and Yang Chen seemed to have reached some kind of agreement in private. When Yang Chen saw her coming to me, he had a good face for the first time, and handed him a secondary card: "You go out more often, buy whatever you like, don't buy it. Always stuck at home."

I shook my head: "No, I have money myself."

Lin Ya took it unceremoniously, blinked playfully, and said deliberately: "Thank you Young Master, I'm sorry for your generosity if you don't max out today."

I couldn't help but smile, Yang Chen didn't care and said: "Okay, you can swipe as you like, and I'll be on top of it."

It is said to be relaxing, but it is actually shopping with Lin Ya.She has always been picky, and she has a good way of dressing. She has to choose for me after shopping for herself.

Not only do I have to play the role of a tool man who nods in praise, but I also have to be directed by Miss Lin to change clothes. I can't laugh or cry.

She held up a set of skirts and compared them to herself, then turned to me and asked, "How about this one?"

"The color is very bright and matches your skin tone."

"Forget it, the style is a bit rotten on the street. I just saw four or five people wearing it. I don't like bumping shirts."

I helped my forehead helplessly, and the clerk went over with a smile on his face and recommended another one to her.

After only one and a half hours, Xiao Huo, who followed us, already had a lot of bags in his hands. Fortunately, he has good physical strength, otherwise it would be too much.

After I paid the bill, I asked Lin Ya, "How about letting Xiao Huo put the things in the car first?"

She stretched her waist and went out side by side with me: "Okay. I'm tired from shopping too, let's go to lunch. I made an appointment with a restaurant. They have recently spent a lot of money on publicity. I don't know if the taste is worthy of the name."

"Jun Yan... Jun Yan brother?"

Just as Lin Ya and I walked not far away, someone came out from behind and called out several times. It took me a long time to realize that the name was calling me.

Lin Ya stopped curiously. I turned around and saw a surprised face: "It's really you! Brother Jun Yan, do you remember me? I'm Dong Xiaoqian!"

The woman in front of me was wearing professional attire from a counter, with mature makeup, and she was different from the young girl I remembered, but she was somewhat familiar with her upturned face when she smiled.

"Xiaoqian, long time no see."

With an uncomfortable expression on her face, she raised her eyes and looked at me quietly.Seeing my answer, I finally breathed a sigh of relief: "It's really you! I feel that you have changed a lot, Brother Junyan. I just stared at it for a long time before I dared to recognize it. I thought I was wrong."

I gestured for Xiao Huo to go first, and asked her with a smile, "Do you work here?"

She nodded: "Well. After Brother Song terminated the contract, the company arranged for me to go to another artist team. I didn't make any splashes for several years. If I couldn't continue, I resigned. Now this job is pretty good, and sales are much easier than running errands. !"

Hearing this, Lin Ya raised her eyebrows and suddenly realized: "Oh? You used to be Song Cheng's manager?"

Dong Xiaoqian hesitated for a few seconds, her eyes widened suddenly, and she pointed at her in disbelief: "You, who are you, that, the boss of that Asian Entertainment! I've seen you!"

"Correct me, I'm the future boss." Lin Ya chuckled, "Junyan, it looks like you have something to say, I'll go to the car to rest first. The weather is too hot, even wearing these high-heeled shoes makes my feet tired."

I nodded lightly: "Let Xiao Huo take you to eat something to fill your belly. Do you remember where the car is parked?"

"Yes, call me." She glanced at me and added meaningfully, "Don't make me wait too long, otherwise I won't be able to figure out what happens."

When Lin Ya left, Dong Xiaoqian asked, "Brother Jun Yan, is she... your girlfriend?"

"Just ordinary friends." I said, "You are at work, wouldn't it be inappropriate to leave temporarily?"

She waved her hand quickly: "I told my colleagues, it's okay to walk away for a while."

The temperature is very high today, and it is not decent to stand outside and talk.I glanced around and found a coffee shop not far away, so I said, "I'll buy you a drink, just to chat for a while, how about it?"

A few minutes later, Dong Xiaoqian and I sat down in the cool room, and she said cautiously, "Well, Brother Junyan, are you still in touch with Brother Song?"

I didn't answer directly, but asked with a smile, "You have something to do with him?"

"No, no, I just want to know how he is doing."

Dong Xiaoqian seemed a little embarrassed, "In fact, Song Ge was the only artist I've followed seriously, so I've been thinking about his situation. Song Ge terminated the contract suddenly, and the previous contact information was invalid. I don't know how to find him. Coincidentally Seeing you today, Brother Junyan, I wanted to try my luck."

I paused and said, "He is no longer in the entertainment industry."

"No wonder, I usually pay attention to entertainment news. I have never seen news about Brother Song. I guess he should have chosen another job." She sighed softly, a little happy and relieved, "Not bad, Brother Song is so righteous and willing to work hard, even if he doesn't become an actor, he will be successful in other industries."

I pulled the corner of my lips with difficulty: "He's living a better life than before."

--perhaps.

I can't always say that he is being detained somewhere for investigation at the moment.

Dong Xiaoqian's expression suddenly relaxed a lot: "Before I was worried that you didn't know where he went, but luckily you didn't break up with him. By the way, Brother Junyan, it's not convenient for you to call Brother Song out, let's have a meal together ?”

I said softly, "Not for now, he has something to deal with."

She said ah, and quickly let go of her disappointment: "It's okay, we will meet again when Brother Song is free. Do you remember the three of us playing cards together? You and Brother Song always beat me. It was the time when we recorded a variety show in the mountains. I didn't expect It rained so heavily in the middle of the night...it was really scary, but luckily nothing happened, I cried when I found someone..."

Those words took me back in an instant.

The dark mountains, the stormy night, the hand that pulled me into my embrace without hesitation.

Dong Xiaoqian said with a smile, "It's different today. My card playing skills are well developed, and I won't lose to you guys! I don't believe that I will try another game one day."

I came back to my senses and said in a low voice: "Yes. I will tell him when I have a chance."

If... there is still a chance to meet him.

I didn't expect this "opportunity" to come so quickly.

One day in early September, I saw Song Cheng.People from Zhao Yuan took me to the meeting place, which is very remote and has almost left the city limits.

Song Cheng was standing next to a military jeep. He looked like he was about to leave soon, but stayed here temporarily.The man next to me saw me off the car, pointed to a deserted space next to me, and said to me, "5 minutes."

I took a few steps closer and stopped when the distance was only one or two meters away. Song Cheng straightened his back and stared at me without saying a word.

This short-lived aspect is hard-won, I don't have the luxury to squander it with silence, and cut straight to the point: "You've lost weight."

The beauty of this phrase is that it can be used with anyone you haven't seen in a long time, so that you can hook up the next topic.Just like the list of Chinese medicine he had written down, no matter how complicated and cumbersome the materials are, there must always be a prescription on it.

What's more, he is really thin.

His brows and eyes were deeply sunken, and he looked cold and serious.Yet the eyes were calm, so sad that it almost made one's breath stagnate.

"It's never as comfortable as at home there." He said, "Toshihiko, I'm leaving."

I don't know if Song Cheng knew about my role in the whole incident, but I didn't have the hobby of revealing all the secrets and soliciting hatred, so I asked, "Did your father send someone to pick me up?"

He nodded, and I didn't know what else to say, so I just stood there and said, "Then I'm relieved."

The wind passed between us, and Song Cheng said in a low voice: "When I was on trial, I thought about many things to ask you and tell you, but now you stand in front of me and can't say anything."

I opened my mouth, but couldn't make a sound.

"After leaving this time, I may have to listen to my father and honestly stay in Jincheng for the rest of my life and never come back. It's a pity that I wanted to give you a good memory, but nothing happened in the end."

He looked at me, his brown pupils were the same color as in his dream, but he completely lost that warmth.

My heart, liver, spleen and lungs suddenly seemed to be twisted into a ball, messy and heavy, and fell into the body, making it difficult to breathe, and there will be long-lasting pain.

The hollow in my chest grew until it became unbearable.

Song Cheng suddenly asked: "Jun Yan, do you have anything to say to me?"

I close my eyes.

In the bathroom and his first meeting.

The moment of almost bumping into each other in the Asian entertainment lounge.

He smiled back at me as I walked up the narrow stairs.

He wears an apron and washes vegetables in the kitchen sink, and I help him hold up his dangling sleeves.

In such a cold winter, we walked to the bus station step by step hand in hand.

his smile.his hug.his breath.his kiss.

The seeds of lies take root and sprout, break through the ground, and bear bitter fruit.The picture of me kneeling on the ground begging hard has not dissipated, and it turned into a scene of him protecting me to death when the mudslide came.

The perfect mask turned into powder, the castle in the air finally collapsed, and all happiness was overturned.

Cheng Heyun.Spiral staircase.Clenched and released hands.The rough scar on the palm of my hand when I massaged my injured leg.

He can look at the cold nipple ring on my chest with loving eyes, or he can bury himself in the notes of traditional Chinese medicine under the light of the study room in the middle of the night.

The serious tone when he promised to take me away.Bright eyes under the brim of the straw hat.A restrained and gentle intrusion.The strength of the arm.The touch of the skin.The temperature of the lips.

He hugged me and laughed, saying "I like you so much, I love you so much" over and over again.

The Xifu crabapple in the courtyard.

Not without remedy, not without trying to move closer to each other.It's just that it's too late, and what's broken can never be restored.

His fingers caressed the edge of the smoky pink seal, which was the first thing he gave me.

"Don't fly, let me perish."

Why, Song Cheng, why must he be so tough?Why is your desire for control overtaking your love and respect for me?Why do we always miss the right choice again and again?

Tell me, how did we get to this rotten situation step by step? !

I said: "Maybe we really don't have fate, the first meeting was a mistake."

Song Cheng stared at me fixedly, his expression froze on his face.After a long time, he slowly moved the corners of his lips, as if he wanted to smile, but he couldn't.

"Okay...okay, okay." His voice was very soft, as if he was whispering, "Junyan, if I beg you to go with me now, you will refuse. After all, I'm not here, and there is less trouble around you. Isn't it?"

There were tears in Song Cheng's eyes, I looked up at him, and reached out to touch the face that I had touched and kissed countless times.He was handsome, and he was indeed good-looking, but he was definitely not amazing or memorable.

But I don't know why, it just makes me fall in love like a dream, fascinated.

People are really strange, love can also be separated.

"I'm sorry, Song Cheng, I'm sorry."

Sorry, I betrayed my promise to you.From the beginning to the end, I can't give in, I don't want to accept the fate of being played in the palm of my hand, I don't want to become the docile and soft lover you want.

I'm sorry, but I don't actually hate you, I just want you to pay for your mistakes.

I'm sorry Xu Junyan is so ruthless and stubborn.

I raised my head and kissed his lips, tasting the tears.

Hot and salty.

"Take care along the way."