salt by salt

"Where is Andre, do you know?"

It is rare for me to be so angry, I insisted on agreeing to my mother to go to Xu's house with her to celebrate the new year, and after sending her away, I asked the driver to take me back to Songcheng.

Song Cheng was chopping vegetables, I casually put my coat on the back of the chair, stood by the dining table and looked at him.

He paused, his eyes flashed, and then he put down the knife smoothly and wiped off the water on his hands: "...Who did you meet today? Why did you ask this suddenly?"

I stared closely at every bit of his reaction, and at this moment I knew it clearly, and I couldn't help but speak harshly: "You knew that Andre was in the hospital, why didn't you tell me?!"

Maybe it was because the emotions were too intense, but a burst of pain swept through my heart.

I hated this weak body deeply, but I didn't want to show any weakness. I gritted my teeth and asked, "Song Cheng, I haven't heard anything about this matter. I don't believe it's not your handwriting. You promised me before." , At that time, I swore that I could accept Andre, why didn't you even tell me such a big thing now?"

Song Cheng looked away, and I took a deep breath: "Anyway, I'm also his brother. It's not that you don't know about the Xu family, and Andre has no one to rely on except me. You do this, in case something happens to him How can I forgive myself?"

He didn't say a word, I clenched my fists: "Song Cheng, why are you hiding it from me?"

"The reason is simple. I regret it, I'm not that generous, I can't accept Andre."

I didn't expect Song Cheng's tone to be so cold and hard, he looked straight at me, with a kind of determination to do everything he could.

Because he was still cooking just now, he didn't take care of his hair carefully. His forehead was scattered and covered his forehead, but he couldn't stop his moist eyes: "Yes, I promised you to accept him. At that time, I thought too simply. I hope to get you back soon, so I can give in to everything. I am also human, and once I get it, I want more, Toshihiko, I want your full attention, I can't control myself."

I was stunned for a moment, Song Cheng's voice was tense, as usual gentle, but at this moment there was a bit of ups and downs after he tried his best to restrain himself: "I hate him using his identity as a younger brother to get your attention unscrupulously, I hate you You always say that you are responsible for taking care of him, do you know how much you indulge him? You are both brothers, and you can go to bed, what a close relationship, then what am I?"

He took a few steps towards me, his lips trembling, and he gave a gentle smile that I'm used to.I froze for a second, and clearly saw the tears in his eyes sliding down the edge of that smile.

"You don't owe Andre anything. He has to blame for what he has today. But why do you make an exception for him again and again? Why can he be easily forgiven for doing the same wrong thing? Why, Xu Junyan, I ask you to tell me why!"

Song Cheng walked in front of me, I took a step back, he watched me quietly, a look of pain flashed between his handsome brows.

I want to explain a few words, but after thinking about it, I just said a few dry "I am his brother", saying it will only irritate people, and I really can't speak.

The relationship between me and Andre is complicated and strong, even if we analyze it a little bit, Song Cheng may not be able to understand it.

I spent the first 20 years of my life comparing myself to this younger brother whom I only met once, and I had cast too many eyes on him before we met again.

I thought it was just my secret, but Andre said that during his lonely and pale growth, he longed for me as much as I longed for him.

We once struggled to escape from the fate of being controlled, and now we are also abandoned by our mothers.If there is no similar experience, how can we talk about empathy?

I didn't forgive Andre for what he did to me, I just couldn't hate him.

My brother, the beautiful angel who represents all things I desire, my closest bond in this world.Only when his eyes meet mine can I feel complete.

Maybe my expressionless face looked cold enough, or maybe the long silence already represented another answer.Song Cheng lowered his head, and slowly pressed his forehead against my shoulder.

"The tone was a little bit bad just now, don't worry about it." I thought for a while, then raised my hand and patted his back lightly, and calmly advised, "I don't blame you, I just think you should tell me this kind of thing, I have a right to know."

Song Cheng stretched out his arms to hug me, he smiled hoarsely, and murmured: "You don't love him, I understand and I can see it."

I hummed, and was relieved by his understanding: "It's just as long as you understand."

"But you don't love me either, so I can't lie to myself anymore." Song Cheng hugged me tightly, his voice was full of despair, I noticed that the shirt on my shoulder was soaked with hot tears, "Junyan, I finally Retribution, is this what you want?"

"……no."

I said softly.

It's not enough.

This long, cold and pale corridor still visits my nightmares many years later.

I followed the person in charge and walked forward, hoping that I would never finish walking in my life, because I didn't have the courage to open the door at the end and face the reality of the mess everywhere.

Andre is crazy.

I comforted myself that the "crazy" in my mother's mouth was just not what she wanted.This is not the first time Andre was sent to a nursing home by her. He even survived the three years when I wasn't there. How could he go crazy in just a few months?

But as I stood in the sanitizer-smelling private nursing home, I doubted my optimism.

This floor is a single ward. There are only a few spacious single rooms. There are no family members of the patients, but there are strong nurses walking back and forth.

The person in charge pushed open the door, and Andre was sitting by the hospital bed. The sun fell on him through the window, and he became thin and thin, his skin was so fair that it was almost transparent, and his blue eyes were as clear as lakes in the light.

Andre didn't follow the sound to look at me, but just quietly stared at a certain point in nothingness.I often joke that Andre is as beautiful as a work of art, but at this moment he is really sitting there, like a beautiful sculpture.

Even though the nurse gently held his head towards me, his eyes were still empty.

"My brother is the only living thing in my world, so it's the most beautiful."

Andre once said to me standing in the red camellia, but now he does not recognize me.

It's hard for me to describe the feeling at that moment, probably, like falling into an ice cave.

His face was expressionless, like a blank sheet of paper.I didn't know that my memory would be so deep. Facing Andre like this, all his vivid expressions appeared in front of my eyes one after another.

Acting like a baby, wronged, angry, happy, tricky, even indifferent.

If Andre hadn't become like this, seeing me take the initiative to find him, he should be hugging me like a puppy now, right?Maybe he still has to say bad things about Song Cheng, and then proudly praise himself.

I knelt down beside him and asked in a low voice, "Andre, do you remember brother?"

"The patient is unresponsive."

The doctor next to the person in charge said to me with a little pity.He paused, and described Andre's situation in detail again: he only had basic physiological reactions, and the rest would not receive any feedback, just like a vegetable who could move—fortunately, although he was apathetic, he was not the same as before. a violent tendency.

I stubbornly called Andre's name, waving my fingers in front of him, trying to shake his shoulders.I know it's stupid, but I still want to try it.

What if there is a miracle?What if he remembers me?

Drug overdose, the doctor explained what caused Andre to become like this.

When I asked about their treatment plan, he smiled awkwardly and said that they were still studying the specific pathological changes in Andre's brain, so he was currently being treated with "conservative treatment".

"So, you let him become like this, don't ask?"

I heard my own voice, cold, dangerous, full of malice.

"I'm sure I didn't leave it alone." The person in charge said, "The patient's daily life is taken care of by a special person."

"Mr. Xu, the specific plan is the result of our discussion with the patient's family." The doctor said, "Our team has been following and treating the patient for several years. Please trust our judgment."

Oh, it means mother, why would she want to cure Andre?Isn't such a child who doesn't know how to resist is exactly what she wants?

I looked back at them, and said slowly: "During the nursing home, you also 'treated' him?"

"Mr. Xu, our treatment is entrusted by Ms. Xu. The whole process is formal and legal, but a confidentiality agreement has been signed for the specific content."

The person in charge smiled very officially: "Mr. Xu, don't worry, our nursing homes are distributed all over the world. This one in China is one of the few with top technology, and the quality is absolutely guaranteed. Many dignitaries will entrust us, haha..."

I stood up, stroked Andre's hair, and interrupted: "I want to take my brother away."

The person in charge rubbed his hands: "I'm afraid this won't work, we must discuss it with the patient's family and get her consent—"

I said, "I am also a family member of the patient."

"Mr. Xu, you're making it difficult for me. How about I call Ms. Xu now and ask her opinion?" It may be that the heating in the room is too high, and the person in charge began to take out a handkerchief to wipe his sweat, " This, housework, we generally recommend that you communicate in private, this is not our responsibility."

"I didn't ask you." I took a deep look at him, "I just wanted to inform you."