salt by salt

It would be nice if I didn't become a human being.Anything is fine, whether it is a cicada, a landscape tree, or a street lamp standing silently.If it weren't for humans, it must be able to avoid a lot of pain.

The winter in City B was extremely cold that year, and the first day of the senior year of high school was very noisy in class. Everyone was talking about the winter vacation and enjoying the rare relaxation time at this moment.Yang Chen didn't come, he often skipped classes, after all, his family had paved the way for him long ago.But for me, I didn’t even have his last straw. I lowered my head and used my cold fingers under the desk to reply anonymously one by one under the post: Please...don’t spread rumors.

Throughout the winter vacation... Those malicious posts were posted on the homepage of the forum and were reposted countless times.I didn't dare to look up at the eyes of my classmates, those whispers seemed to be coming straight at me.

"Xu Junyan..." Someone patted me on the back.I suddenly stuffed my phone into my pocket and stood up. The desk was hit by me and made a loud noise, knocking over the materials piled high up by the classmates in front of me. What I got was not a blank stare but an indescribable look.

Like looking at a monster, disgusted and curious, you can throw a stone at it at any time.

The class fell silent, and everyone looked at me.I was shaking, fear and embarrassment running down my ankles and up my spine.The classmate who patted my shoulder stopped in mid-air, and said with a strange expression, "The English teacher told you to go and get the papers for the final exam."

"Ah...Okay." I tried my best to show a smile, lowered my head and hurried out of the classroom.The English teacher is a gentle and tall woman. She stood in the corridor outside the classroom and greeted me: "Good morning Toshihiko, did you fail the English test last time?"

"Yeah." I replied, looking down at myself and her toes. She was wearing a pair of pink suede high heels, and there was a little stain on the tiles that hadn't been cleaned.

Her hand lightly landed on my shoulder: "What's wrong with your eyes?"

My right eye is still covered with gauze that hasn't been removed after surgery, and no one has asked me about it until now.The tip of my nose was sour, and tears fell uncontrollably from the other eye socket almost instantly.I bit my trembling lips tightly, swallowed all the choked sobs into my throat, gritted my teeth to stabilize my voice, and said in a low voice: "I am very short-sighted, so I went for...laser surgery."

She sighed, and gently took out a tissue to wipe away my tears: "It can't be helped, will the shadow affect reading? Is there a lot of pressure from studying recently?"

I shook my head, raised my head and forced a smile to her: "It's okay."

"Don't be sad if you don't do well in the exam, it's just a quiz." She looked at me encouragingly, "There are always fluctuations in grades. You wrote a lot of basic vocabulary wrong in your composition last time, and deducted a little more points. Next time Be careful not to make such low-level mistakes. You can take the answer sheet back and hand it out, and I will explain the topic in the next class."

"Okay." I said, "I'll post it after class."

"Talk to the teacher if you are unhappy, don't hold it in your heart." She patted me on the shoulder, "You know?"

Teacher... I am in so much pain.I feel terrible.

The slander of those posts, the rumors spread on purpose, the stories made up by anonymous students in the forum for fun, those disgusting messages... I received a lot of text messages and inexplicable phone calls, teasing, slandering, and erotic. Those absurd pornographic stories were replaced by my name, they said that I was out for sale, threatened that I would strip me naked when I arrived at school, and let me kneel in the bathroom to be their dog... I spent the whole winter vacation trying to clarify and resist .

But I can't do anything, and now I don't need Xue Keming's support. I don't know how many of my classmates saw it and even left a message to laugh at it. This carnival can't be stopped.

I am really in pain.I don't want to go back to class, I don't want to meet their eyes, I don't want to come to school.

But I nodded lightly, the tears slid down my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away:

"I see, thank you teacher."

I passed through the crowd, causing those around me to retreat quickly like a scourge.I saw someone looking at me curiously, someone took out their mobile phone and quietly took pictures, I heard someone ask in a low voice, "Is that Xu Junyan?", and I smelled...the malice in the air.

Xue Keming leaned against the railing of the corridor, surrounded by a few chattering girls, a small circle centered on her.I stopped not far from her, and she turned her head and looked at me, showing me a smile that only the two of us could understand.

She was the glamorous and attractive top student, and I was the disgraced, embarrassing gay.what will happen if i kill herIn the middle of the night when I collapsed, I even thought about it in despair. I don't want to commit suicide like this, at least let her be buried with her.But what can this change?To the end of my life, I will bear the name in the rumors, and I will also add the title of a vicious lunatic.But I don't want to die...and I don't want to live like this.

Even if I rushed over to say that she ordered all this, no one would believe me, and I am clearly aware of this.

What a beautiful, outstanding, and excellent girl.

She won.