salt by salt

I followed Lu Changbai—my biological father—into the study and sat down opposite each other.

The study room is well-arranged, and there are various kinds of books on the bookcases embedded in the walls on both sides, ranging from education and business to anecdotes and anecdotes, and the owner's preference cannot be seen.Seeing me silently looking around, Lu Changbai picked up a book on the table without interrupting me, and flipped through it by himself.

Su Guan brought us fruits after dinner, and said with a smile: "Pears nourish the lungs, Jing Fan knows that you don't want to eat fruits with the skin on, so you have to peel them yourself. I asked him to give it, but he was embarrassed."

She went in and out of the room without knocking, Lu Changbai smiled, and was not unhappy at all being disturbed: "If he's okay, I'll stay here at night, just as I have something to explain to him."

Su Wan nodded, poured a cup of hot water, took out a medicine bottle with all the labels removed from the drawer, and opened it.Lu Changbai took the pills, held them in his hands as if playing with them, and took them slowly after being urged a few times.

He didn't avoid me when he was taking the medicine. Seeing my gaze, Su Wan explained softly, "Mr. Lu has high blood pressure, this is the medicine for lowering blood pressure. He often forgets things when he is busy, so I have to remind him every day. "

The two get along harmoniously and naturally, and I can't help but doubt the judgment just now—could it be that Lu Changbai's tenderness as a husband is real, but I am suspicious?

Su Wan carefully asked me if I was cold, turned up the temperature of the air conditioner, and then gently closed the door and left.Chewing the sweet and moist pear meat, I heard Lu Changbai's voice: "Teacher Su likes you very much."

I have no experience of being alone with my father. Hearing this, I unconsciously straightened my back and met his seemingly gentle eyes: "She is very considerate and treats me very well."

"Don't be nervous." Lu Changbai smiled slightly, "Yanyan, I haven't seen you for so many years, you have finally grown up."

Hearing this tone, he still remembers the side of me when I was young.I twitched the corners of my mouth, not knowing what to say.

His tone was relieved, different from my restraint, and seemed very casual: "I was planning to go to see the art exhibitions you held in City B before, but unfortunately the company had something to do, so I didn't go. Jingfan went to see it once , Come back and tell me that it’s doing well, you have talent in this area.”

I didn't expect Lu Jingfan to have seen my exhibition. Shouldn't he be working in the United States at that time?

Full of doubts, I suddenly discovered that he had a coastal accent when speaking, and from the few words I learned, he was born and raised in the north.

I couldn't tell what emotions haunted me, so I paused, gave up my perfunctory thoughts, and explained seriously: "I didn't come up with the idea, and a special person is in charge of the venue layout. It's a decision, but I didn't do anything..."

I stopped before I finished speaking, and secretly cursed that my ability to deal with people had deteriorated rapidly in three years.As a businessman, Lu Changbai is not a fool, don't he know this?Just looking for a topic.

I looked up at him, and he nodded and smiled, "You know exactly the same as I did."

For some reason, this fluffy words made me feel humiliated, as if I had been stripped naked and thrown on the street, and anyone could easily see through everything about me.

"You're neither like me nor like the Xu family, who exactly is your character?" Lu Changbai shook his head and sighed, his expression remained the same, but there was a sincere smile, "Yanyan, it's not okay to go on like this. "

I grew up as if I had no parents, not like anyone else, just myself.

I wanted to refute him a little bit, but considering that I didn't know Lu Changbai's character and purpose at all, I finally endured it and just asked: "Why not?"

He closed the book in his hand, and I saw that it was Bei Dao's poetry collection: "How do you want to solve the matter of those boyfriends?"

I pursed my lips tightly, discussing my private life with my father—even a father who officially announced his existence today is a bit beyond my willingness.

"You don't know, or don't you want to say it?" Perhaps because of being a teacher, Lu Changbai still spoke in a persuasive way, "We are father and son, and we can talk about the solution openly and honestly, so don't feel that you can't open your mouth. "

I choked up a bit, thinking that everyone has a sense of shame, so I really couldn't open my mouth.

He paused for a while, seeing that I was silent, he said: "Yanyan, I am doing it for your own good. They will come back to you after three years, which shows that this is not a problem that can be solved by procrastination. The more hesitant you are , the more opportunities these three people can take advantage of."

My "good father" really investigated the old things clearly.I lowered my head to avoid his gaze on my face: "It can't be solved at all, and I can't afford to offend anyone."

Lu Changbai said: "Don't you still have me? Don't be afraid, Dad will take care of anything for you."

I believe you are the devil!Obviously I had already achieved great success in S City decades ago, so I could have rescued me from the quagmire of Xu's family early, but at this moment, he popped up out of nowhere and said that he wanted to help my biological father, and he would pack me up and sell me to the black coal mine in the next second. believe.

Was he ordered by whom?What is he planning to get?

Swallowing these question marks, I whispered, "What do you want me to do?"

Lu Changbai raised his eyebrows, as if surprised, this was his first other expression besides smiling.His fingers slowly stroked the lines of the author's portrait on the cover of the poetry collection, and he said after a long while, "Yanyan, you are my son."

This sentence has a lot of meaning.It can be understood that because I am his son, he won't let me do anything.Or is it……

My reaction is worthy of his son.

I, an idler with nothing to do all day long, did not stay overnight, but Lu Jingfan, who is the president of the company, did.

Su Wan said a lot of things and wanted me to stay for one night, and even arranged my room neatly and comfortably.I have already learned from Lu Jingfan that she is barren, but she loves children very much, so I probably expect a lot from me.

Seeing her disappointed, Lu Changbai hugged her shoulders, and said with a smile: "I'm afraid Yanyan will give up the bed, and besides, it's the first time here, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future."

Su Wan listened to him very much, and turned to give me a few earnest instructions, and packed a full box of homemade snacks for me to take home.Lu Changbai watched from the side, and said: "It's getting late, let Jingfan drive you."

Su Wan said angrily: "I just told Jing Fan to wash and dry and change into pajamas. Now I'm prone to catch a cold when I go out, so it's safer to ask the driver to deliver me." Then he explained to me: "Jing Fan is not in good health, Yanyan, please forgive me."

She regards Lu Jingfan and me as juniors, and she values ​​and loves me equally.I don't care about this, but Lu Jingfan regards Lu Changbai's words as an imperial decree, and when I bid farewell to Su Wan, I had already changed into going out clothes.

Seeing this, she was helpless, turned around and changed a thick coat for Lu Jingfan.Lu Changbai and I looked at each other, and there was a deep meaning in the eyes that only the two of us could understand: "Jing Fan and you have a good relationship, and I feel relieved."

Lu Jingfan was still serious and silent, only a slight smile appeared on his pale face when he was mentioned.I said goodbye to him from Lu's house. When I went to the garage to pick up the car, I was full of thoughts. He obviously didn't want to talk to me. As a result, the atmosphere was awkward along the way, and he didn't say a word.

He drove the car himself, and the lights outside the car window came in faintly. Lu Jingfan's side face had a sickly gloomy look, which made people worry about an accident on the way.Halfway through the car, I heard him ask: "What did the teacher say to you?"

I replied half-truthfully: "He asked me about my situation and how I planned to develop in the future. Oh, in the end he said that if there is any need for help, let me go to you."

In fact, Lu Changbai's original words were "I will let Jing Fan be your assistant, you can learn from him when you don't understand, or you can leave it to him to take care of everything."

I know the immoral feelings buried in Lu Jingfan's heart, so I believe that he will be obedient and let the arrangements be made.But where did Lu Changbai get his confidence?Because he half-subsidized and half-raised Lu Jingfan, did he trust his adopted son not to betray him?

But Lu Changbai has a meticulous mind and a deep city, so he may be a suspicious person.Does he also know...

When I was thinking wildly, I caught a glimpse of Lu Jingfan's frown slightly loosened from the corner of the eye: "Xu Junyan, if you are not the teacher's son, I really don't want to have anything to do with you."

You think I want to?I smiled mockingly, and cast my eyes out of the window: "There are still many places for us to deal with in the future."

Life in S City is fast-paced and stressful, and there are always people on the way to and from get off work.Lu Jingfan stopped the car slowly, there was a long queue in front of him, and he couldn't even see which intersection met the red light.

I was a little dazed looking at the traffic, and thought of the spacious but crowded driveways of City B. Each car contained different joys and sorrows. Seen from a height, they were all as small as insignificant pawns on a chessboard.

Go back or stay, it doesn't seem to make a difference.

Lu Jingfan called my name: "Xu Junyan."

After a while, I will be Lu Junyan.

While I was distracted, I turned my head away, but his lips were sealed by him.This kiss broke at the touch of a touch, Lu Jingfan sat up straight, stared into my eyes, and confronted me silently, as if asking for an answer.

His eyes were black as ink, almost piercing.I know that there is no love between each other at all, Lu Jingfan regards me as a substitute for my father, and I just want to use him to get something beyond the sight of the chess player.

I don't take offense at all, I'm just wondering, is this another kind of purity?

Sun Ning stayed at Yan Xia's house these days, so I went upstairs to find Song Cheng.When I saw Lu Changbai, I didn't plan to hide it from him, and I knew I couldn't hide it, so I thought up a set of self-consciously impeccable excuses.

I waited for him to ask me, but Song Cheng made me a late-night snack and watched a popular variety show with me.When he was lying on the bed after taking a shower, he stroked my forehead hair with his fingers, and told me the latest news in a soft voice, without mentioning what I did today.

This is a psychological strategy. If you can't help but take the initiative to say it, you will lose everything in terms of momentum.

He definitely did it on purpose.I tossed and turned beside him, Song Cheng blinked: "Junyan, what's wrong with you?"

I said resignedly, "Quickly ask me."

He pretended to be blank and said: "What do you want to ask?" After he finished speaking, he couldn't help laughing, he came over to kiss me on the cheek with a smile on his face.

I was so angry that I scratched my teeth, grabbed Song Cheng's arm and took a bite, turned over and sat up to unbutton his pajamas.He smiled all over his eyes: "Okay, let me ask you, how did you feel when you saw your father today?"

"It's not good, but a wish has been fulfilled."

"He talked to you about what happened back then?" Song Cheng put his hand on my waist, nodded knowingly, "You don't have to believe everything, he may know the truth, but he may not tell everything..."

In the eyes of him, Yang Chen, and Andre, what I care most about is my identity as the son of a rapist. I am afraid that once I see my biological father, I will be impatient to find out what happened back then.

They think I haven't changed.

So he talked about love, but he took it by force, and satisfied his selfish desires by destroying my peaceful life. In the end, it was just because I was still the sensitive and cowardly Xu Junyan who was at the mercy of others.

"He said he wanted to compensate me for many things, and I only wanted one."

Leaving half of the words is the most tantalizing, Song Cheng really took advantage of the situation and asked: "What is it?"

I straddled his strong waist, with a smooth and bare chest under my palm: "Since you know everything, why don't you guess it?"

"I can't guess, I admit defeat." Song Cheng scratched the bridge of my nose, looked at me intently, his smile became sad and gentle, "It's been a long time since I saw you so happy, it's worth admitting defeat."

"Really?" The air suddenly became quiet, and I murmured, "Is it worth admitting defeat?"

"Yeah." His hand caressed my cheek, his eyes were serious, "I think you can be happy when you are with me, just like before."

"Song Cheng..." I put myself into his arms, pressed my face tightly against his chest, as if I was greatly moved but hesitated, "I don't know what to do, please give me some time. "

"It's okay, Junyan." He kissed the top of my hair, his voice trembling slightly, "It's okay. I can wait for you."

bang bang.bang bang.The sound is close to my ears, and I know that through the skin, musculoskeletal, and deep inside is a beating heart.

I don't know since when, I have never heard such an excited heartbeat.

Song Cheng, give me some more time, I want a knife that can pierce this heart.

When I sharpen it enough, I won't hurt you too much, won't...

like you did to me.