Why is first love so sweet?

At dawn, the heat finally dissipated.

Sheng Yi rested his head on Rongyu's shoulder, and all the desires he had been wanting for a long time were finally temporarily satisfied, and his brain was also given a moment's rest.

You can think quietly.

He unconsciously thought, why do people like another person?

It's an unwitting hormonal attraction.

Or a moment of deliberate attention?

Sheng Yi still couldn't figure out why Rong Yu liked him.

But suddenly he seemed to be able to see himself clearly.

Didn't fall asleep, he recalled lucidly.

It was a little earlier than the night in the summer vacation of the third year of junior high school.

The exact time should be in the second year of junior high school.

It had not been a few years since his mother's death, and he hadn't gotten used to life without shelter.

On that cold snowy night a few years ago, on Rong Yu's back, he thoroughly thought through the things that had bound him for so long.

Sheng Yi was already sure that his father didn't love him.

So he no longer expected to find anything from that man, and Sheng Ming didn't try to tie him by his side after that night.

The most difficult thing to adapt to is the occasion in the school where parents are required to attend.

Entrusted by Sheng Ming, Tang Yun attended all of Sheng Yi's school activities instead.

When the parents' meeting was held, the students with ghosts in their hearts wandered around the classroom, eavesdropping on their heads, and almost determined how to deal with criticism when they went home.

Sheng Yi had nothing to worry about, and sat leisurely on the window sill in the corridor playing with his mobile phone.

Cheng Wenge lay on the back door and listened nervously for a long time, he was relieved when he heard something, turned his head and said, "The teacher didn't mention your grades."

"Oh." Sheng Yi didn't care too much, and played the game without raising his head, "Have you boasted about Rongyu?"

"You don't need to ask, this is a necessary procedure for parent-teacher meetings." Cheng Wenge glanced at the end of the corridor, and Rong Yu came out of the office with a stack of exercise books in his arms.

Rong Yu walked up to Sheng Yi and stopped, put the materials to be distributed by the parent meeting on the window sill, and picked up a form from the top and gave it to him: "Sports event registration statistics form, you and Cheng Wenge can count together."

Both Sheng Yi and Cheng Wenge are art and sports committee members in the class.

Sheng Yi glanced at the form, did not answer, and said to Cheng Wenge while playing a game, "Go ahead."

The students around all gathered around to look at the items on the form, and couldn't wait to start signing up.

Cheng Wenge was very interested, "When is the sports meeting?" Rong Yu: "Next Friday."

Rong Yu glanced at Sheng Yi, took off the earphone on Sheng Yi's right ear when he picked up the documents and left, "Don't make too much noise."

Sheng Yi raised his head and smiled at him: "Good monitor."

"What project do you want to apply for?" Cheng Wenge asked Sheng Yi surrounded by his classmates.

"I can do anything." Sheng Yi said casually, "Leave the ones that no one reported to me."

"Playing handsome?" Cheng Wenge laughed.

"He has the confidence." A girl glanced at Sheng Yi and said with a smile, "Our brother Yi is capable of everything except for his academic performance."

The girls around began to brag relay.

"That's right, last year's basketball games in our class were all due to Sheng Yi's ability to make it to the finals."

"If you have a face and talent, what's so important about learning."

Sheng Yi said with a smile on the corner of his mouth, and continued to play with his phone with his head down.

Thinking of something, the smile in his eyes gradually faded.

After the parent meeting was over, all the parents left the classroom, took their children to praise or blame, and took the children home from school.

Sheng Yi leaned against the wall of the corridor with his hands behind his back, watching all the students leave one by one with his parents.

He looked at the door of the classroom and always felt that another woman was about to come out.

She always wears exquisite suits and skirts, her body is always fragrant, and she wears a gentle thin gold necklace around her neck.

He could even imagine the first words that woman said to him after she came out.

When those beautiful light-colored eyes saw him, they couldn't help laughing first, then put on a straight face and pretended to be angry, put the bag on the crook of the arm, hugged his arms, and said to him: "You still have the face to smile, Mom is so ashamed." dead."

Such a scene seems to have happened yesterday.

Rong Yu sorted out the signed evening self-study agreement, walked out of the classroom, and walked towards him.

Sheng Yi quickly suppressed his lonely expression, and said with a smile: "What should I do, I'm going to embarrass Auntie."

"No." Rong Yu rubbed his head: "She looks very happy."

"Really?" Sheng Yi couldn't believe it, his mid-term exam score broke a new low.

Tang Yun went to the office to have a private chat with the teacher, and came out in a gentle and dignified dress with a bag to find the two children. She smiled and said, "Children, let's go. I'll take you out to eat today."

Suddenly feeling guilty, Sheng Yi subconsciously stood behind Rong Yu.

Instead of praising her own son first, Tang Yun looked at Sheng Yi first, and said pleasantly, "Xiao Yi, I heard from the teacher that you won the first prize in the province's Ci Tang Crazy? Why didn't you tell your aunt about such a good thing? "

Rong Yu seemed to have expected it a long time ago, and looked back at Sheng Yi.

Rong Yu was almost happy for Sheng Yi, but he saw Sheng Yi stunned, lowered his head unnaturally, and grabbed the cuff of his school uniform: "It's not a big prize...Rong Yu won the first place in the English competition in the country, you should praise him."

Tang Yun looked at Sheng Yi gently for a few seconds, took his hand and hugged him, and said softly beside his face: "Silly boy, you should be praised for doing well. What's the priority? You are all good." So, Auntie is so proud that she walks with the wind today."

"..."

Sheng Yi felt another fragrance safely surrounding him.

He raised his head in bewilderment, and met Rong Yu's eyes,

Rong Yu raised his eyebrows slightly, with a smile in his eyes.

It's like saying "I did."

Sheng Yi's uneasiness dissipated a bit, and he hugged Tang Yun back, "Thank you."

The day of the sports meeting was extremely hot, and even Cicada was scorched by the scorching sun in late autumn and cried lazily.

Sheng Yi made up for the 3000 meters that no one wanted to report.

Before experiencing three years of sleep, Sheng Yi was very athletic in his youth.

It's just that I'm always lazy and have no interest in sports other than basketball. Only at the annual sports meeting will there be other shining points.

Rong Yu has always insisted on long-distance running, and also signed up for 3000 meters, in group B.

Sheng Yi is in Group A.

The 3000-meter race was in the afternoon when the temperature was the highest. The two went to the locker room to change into short-sleeved sportswear, and went to the inspection booth to register together.

While leaning on Rong Yu's shoulders and sitting under the awning waiting, Sheng Yi suddenly heard a female voice shouting from the audience: "Hang Hang."

That voice was almost exactly the same as in his memory.

Sheng Yi's heart skipped a beat, and he subconsciously opened his eyes and turned around.

Seeing Sheng Yi's surprised expression, Rong Yu followed his gaze and looked back.

Not seeing the person he expected in the auditorium, Sheng Yi's eyes dimmed quickly, and he slowly turned his head back.

As he was lost in thought, Sheng Yi was awakened by the coolness on the back of his hand.

Rong Yu's hand had been holding ice water just now.

Sheng Yi came back to his senses, smiled at him and said, "Did you hear that just now? There are so many people calling Hang Hang."

Rong Yu's gaze was a bit complicated, he fixed his gaze on him, and told him hesitantly: "I didn't hear it."

Sheng Yi was stunned.

His eyes were a little dazed, he was quiet for a few seconds, and smiled covertly: "Really, maybe I heard it wrong."

In fact, Rong Yu has already seen the changes in Sheng Yi in the past few years.

Recently, he has seen loneliness in Sheng Yi's eyes more and more frequently, especially in those moments that remind him of his mother.

Rong Yu also noticed that after entering junior high school, Sheng Yi would go to the flower shop to buy a pot of sunflowers every weekend before going to the studio for class.

The class in the studio ended at four o'clock, but Sheng Yi didn't go home until very late.

What was really wrong was when Rong Yu accidentally wanted to go to the studio to pick up Sheng Yi from get out of class.

Rong Yu sat waiting in the coffee shop opposite the studio, and saw Sheng Yi coming out of the studio wearing a hat, and got into a taxi with Sunflower in his arms.

He followed behind, all the way to the cemetery.

Sheng Yi found his mother's tombstone with flowers in his arms, and sat in front of the tombstone wearing headphones.

Rong Yu was standing not far away, and Sheng Yi didn't even notice him.

He saw Sheng Yi's expression.

The face that was always bright in front of him no longer had the heartless smile, no expression, and no words.

Rong Yu was watching from the side, watching Sheng Yi in a daze, sitting in front of the tombstone with his face in his hands until sunset, and then got up to leave.

Before that day, Rong Yu also found out that he was depressed after Sheng Yi's mother died.He almost thinks that the occasional state is just a simple longing, and thinks that the pain of losing a loved one can be healed by time.

The more people show their bright side, the easier it is to ignore the wounds of the dark side.

Until I saw that scene.

Rong Yu suddenly realized that Sheng Yi's psychological pain might not be healed by time so easily.

Then one night, Rong Yu suffered from insomnia.

Before falling asleep, he heard the people around him suddenly sit up, lift the quilt and get out of bed normally, open the door and go out.

Rong Yu noticed that Sheng Yi's eyes were dull and dull, as if he was sleepwalking, so he didn't dare to wake him up, and quietly followed Sheng Yi downstairs.

Sheng Yi walked into the kitchen slowly.

After standing still, he looked around blankly, as if he was suddenly unfamiliar with the surrounding environment.

Fearing that Sheng Yi would touch the knives in the kitchen, Rong Yu called him softly, "Hanghang."

Sheng Yi slowly looked back at him.

The distant gaze seemed to be looking at another person through him.

Rong Yu didn't dare to call him again.

He watched Sheng Yi turn around and slowly walk towards him.

She stretched out her arms to hug him, turned her face to his chest, and closed her eyes with peace of mind.

Rong Yu will never forget the way Sheng Yi looked at him that night.

It was a little unnatural to be seen by Rong Yu, Sheng Yi avoided Rong Yu's sight, and stood up to warm up when he heard the call of the game.

There was nothing abnormal about Sheng Yi's bright smile. When he went to the track, he turned around and said, "Don't let me go in the final."

Rong Yu watched him unconsciously and worriedly, and smiled: "Come on."

The weather was clear one minute before, but when Sheng Yi was standing on the track, it suddenly became cloudy.

The starting gun fired, and Sheng Yi rushed out of the starting line amidst the shouts of his classmates.

After running the 1000 meters steadily, he remained in the top three and planned to speed up to Superman in the last 500 meters.

Halfway through the run, tiny raindrops hit Sheng Yi's face.

The rain gradually became heavier, water got into Sheng Yi's eyes, and his vision became blurred.

He raised his hand and rubbed his eyes, then raised his head, and suddenly saw a familiar white figure among the crowd beside the track.

He heard the man yelling at him: "Hanghang, pay attention to safety."

That moment.

Sheng Yi began to be unable to distinguish between reality and illusion.

Everything seems to have happened in the past.

From childhood to adulthood, my mother never misses every sports meeting and parent-teacher meeting no matter how busy she is.

That's how his mother cheered him on, always waiting by his side with expectant eyes, gently dispelling the self-confidence that was always lingering on top of his head.

The voice in the fantasy became more and more clear, and it surrounded his ears loudly.

"Hang Hang run!"

"It's the last lap!"

"My son is awesome!"

Sheng Yi desperately accelerated against the rain and surpassed the opponent in front of him.

Enduring his lungs that were about to explode, Sheng Yi surpassed the last opponent in front with amazing perseverance, and was the first to cross the finish line amidst the cheers of the crowd.

He lifted his forehead hair that was soaked to cover his eyes, propped up his knees and panted violently, raised his head and searched in a daze.

The rain on his head was covered by an umbrella, and a bath towel was draped over his shoulders, "Pretty."

Sheng Yi raised his head slowly, and suddenly saw the bright smile he was looking for.

Rong Yu reached out to Sheng Yi to pull him up, but suddenly Sheng Yi rushed over and hugged him tightly.

The strength of the hug made him startled.

"Can you call me?" Sheng Yi asked in a hoarse voice.

Feel the water droplets falling on the shoulders and necks at different temperatures from the rain.

Rong Yu's shoulders stiffened for a moment.

Rong Yu raised his hand hesitantly, patted the back of the person in his arms, and called him in a low voice: "Hanghang."

Sheng Yi buried his head on his shoulder for a while, let out a long breath, and let go of him with a smile, with no abnormal expression on his face, "I heard you cheering, it's so loud."

Rong Yu just reminded me to pay attention to safety.

Rong Yu didn't explain this time, he observed Sheng Yi's bright eyes and gave a low "hmm".

That night Sheng Yi had a high fever, half-closed his eyes hazily, and murmured in his sleep in confusion.

Rong Yu changed the ice pack for him, sat on the edge of the bed and watched worriedly, propping up the bed and leaning over to listen.

Sheng Yi's dry lips moved slightly, his voice was so hoarse that he could barely speak, "Mom..."

Standing up slowly, Rong Yu put his hands on Sheng Yi's hot cheeks.

He frowned slightly and made a decision in his heart.

On weekend nights, Rong Yu went to the studio door ahead of time to wait.

Sheng Yi hugged the sunflower and walked out silently. When he saw the person outside the door, he put away the depression in his eyes and asked with a smile, "Why are you here?"

Rong Yu looked at him for a moment, took his hand, and led him into the car.

Obediently got into the car, Sheng Yi didn't resist, but still smiled: "Where are you going? Do you want to go out to play?"

Rong Yu looked at Sheng Yi's bright and energetic smile, and said seriously: "Hanghang, you need psychological counseling."

Sheng Yi froze for a moment, the smile in his eyes gradually dissipated.

His eyes flickered uneasily: "I'm fine... Why go to see a psychiatrist."

Rong Yu held Sheng Yi's hand tighter, and said softly, "Go and try it once, okay? You'll feel better."

"I'm really fine." Sheng Yiqiang said with a smile, but what he said unintentionally revealed his true thoughts.

He looked at the flowers in his hand and whispered, "How long has it been..."

"Speak." Rong Yu rubbed his head helplessly.

Not wanting Rongyu to worry about him, Sheng Yi was finally taken to the psychiatric department by Rongyu.

The doctor who treated Sheng Yi was Rong Yu's mentor Wang Sizhe later.

Wang Sizhe chatted with Sheng Yi alone for over an hour.

Rong Yu leaned against the wall outside the consulting room and waited.

At the end of the consultation, Wang Sizhe came out and said to Rong Yu alone with a solemn expression: "Fortunately, you discovered it in time. Your friend was initially diagnosed as smiling hidden depression."

Rong Yu was not surprised, he consulted a lot of psychological information, and already had guesses in this regard.

Wang Sizhe said: "The clinical manifestation of smiling hidden depression is extreme pain in the heart, but in order to deal with social interactions and avoid the worries of close people, I used to hide the pain with a forced smile. According to the communication just now, I think it is the death of my mother and the relationship with relatives. It was broken, and it was also caused by the long-term mental suppression of my father since childhood. It needs long-term regular treatment to get better."

Rong Yu lowered his eyelashes and remained silent.

He glanced at Sheng Yi who was sitting in a daze on the sofa in the consulting room, and asked, "Is he willing to receive treatment?"

"He cares about you very much and doesn't want you to worry about him." Wang Sizhe said, "He is willing to receive treatment."

After that day, Rong Yu accompanied Sheng Yi to the psychiatric department every week without telling his parents.

The effect was not obvious at first.

Sheng Yi's attachment to his mother was deeper than they imagined.

This excessive attachment has a lot to do with his father's mental oppression.

Because since childhood, Sheng Yi has always regarded his mother as a guardian to avoid his father's belittling and reprimanding.

The mother is almost the source of all Sheng Yi's sense of security.

So even though his father stopped oppressing him mentally, his mother's departure still seriously aggravated Sheng Yi's psychological problems.

After several treatments, Wang Sizhe discovered a new problem in Sheng Yi, and asked Rong Yu to talk to him alone and asked, "Have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

Rong Yu was stunned suspiciously: "Didn't this situation happen between the kidnapper and the hostage?"

Sitting on the leather sofa, Wang Sizhe was inexplicably satisfied with the child. He nodded and smiled and said, "A psychologist named Oliver James extended a new understanding, which he called the later Stockholm Syndrome."

Rong Yu: "Later generations?"

Wang Sizhe explained patiently: "Stockholm syndrome occurs between children and their parents in later generations. This understanding believes that when children want to seek a stable living environment, they will develop feelings similar to Stockholm syndrome towards their parents."

"In real life, out of the spontaneity of survival, children will learn their parents' actions and please their parents. However, in a family environment where they cannot get enough care or even violent behavior, children's pleasing behavior is the same as making the criminal There is no difference in happiness."

Wang Sizhe clasped his hands on the table and said, "It's been a long time, and I even agree with my parents' 'criminal' behavior."

Thinking of Sheng Yi's father, Rong Yu frowned.

Wang Sizhe continued: "For example, children who have seen domestic violence since childhood, or even children who have been subjected to domestic violence, are more likely to become violent when they grow up, unable to control their violent tendencies."

Rong Yu: "...Can we treat together?"

"Psychotherapy is not as simple as you think." Wang Sizhe folded his arms back and said, "It is difficult for later generations of Stockholm Syndrome to completely eliminate the interference of childhood, and it requires long-term intervention and treatment. People close to him use actions to influence. Do not intervene forcibly, it will strengthen his wrong understanding of himself."

Rong Yu nodded in thought.

Wang Sizhe suggested: "What is more important right now is to cure the child's depression problem first, otherwise the two problems will oppress his spirit and easily lead to more serious symptoms."

In order to strengthen the therapeutic effect, Wang Sizhe recommended Sheng Yi to try hypnotherapy.

Knowing roughly what would happen to him during the hypnosis process, Sheng Yi was very disturbed and asked Rong Yu to accompany him in the consultation room.

In the absolutely quiet consultation room, Sheng Yi lay nervously on the comfortable sofa chair, holding Rong Yu's hand tightly.

"Don't be afraid, you are absolutely safe." Wang Sizhe comforted softly, "After receiving hypnotherapy, you will feel very relaxed. Everything you can't let go, you can have the courage to let go."

Sheng Yi and Rong Yu looked at each other anxiously.

Rong Yu gave him a comforting look, and rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb.

Sheng Yi's heartbeat gradually calmed down, and he slowly closed his eyes.

Under Wang Sizhe's guidance, Sheng Yi gradually entered a hypnotic state.

Everything I saw was so real.

He went back to his childhood, sitting in his mother's arms and swinging on a swing. The mulberry tree next to him was full of purple-black fruits, exuding a sweet and greasy aroma.

He felt extremely relieved and happy, and he snuggled up to his mother's chest and acted like a baby.

"Good boy." Wang Sizhe guided softly: "Let mother go."

The woman in the illusion left the swing and smiled at him.

Sheng Yi also jumped off the swing, holding his mother's hand tightly to prevent her from leaving.

Warm tears rolled down the corners of Sheng Yi's eyes.

He squeezed Rong Yu's hand tightly, his eyelashes began to tremble violently, "No."

Wang Sizhe: "Don't worry, she has a place where she should go, you can say goodbye to her properly."

Sheng Yi shook his head in resistance: "No."

The woman in the illusion just looked at him tenderly and wiped the tears off his face with her hands.

"Follow me." Wang Sizhe guided gently: "Mom, thank you for the love you gave me. Now, I will let you go."

"No." Sheng Yi choked up and shook his head.

Wang Sizhe gave Sheng Yi time to calm down.

Continue to guide in a low voice: "Good boy, tell me, Mom, thank you for the love you gave me, now... I will let you go."

Sheng Yi shed tears unconsciously, and hugged the woman in the illusion: "No."

The woman stroked his head helplessly, but did not speak to him.

Wang Sizhe gave Sheng Yi a little time and redirected: "Tell me, Mom, thank you for the love you gave me."

The woman took her hand away in the illusion, and smiled at Sheng Yi and nodded slightly.

Sheng Yi was stubborn for a few minutes, and finally said in tears: "Mom..."

"Thank you for the love you gave me." Wang Sizhe said softly.

"Thank you..." Sheng Yi's lips that were wet with tears trembled slightly: "The love you gave me..."

"Now, I'll let you go."

The corners of Sheng Yi's eyes were silently dripping with water, and he opened his mouth with difficulty, choking out a hoarse voice: "Now..."

Wang Sizhe said lightly, "I'll let you go."

Sheng Yi took a deep breath.

This time he was silent for a long time.

On the screen of Chunmei, Chenzheng carefully remembers her mother's appearance for the last time.

There was a beautiful thin line in the corner of the woman's eyes when she smiled, and her eyes were almost the same color as his, like gems in the brilliant light.

Wang Sizhe gave Sheng Yi time patiently, and guided again in a low voice: "I'll let you go."

The last tear fell slowly from the corner of Sheng Yi's eye.

After a long silence, he said almost silently: "I'll let you go."

Done.

Sheng Yi completely calmed down.

After finishing the final hypnosis process, Sheng Yi slowly opened his eyes.

His gaze has become peaceful.

Sheng Yi slowly turned his head, and the first person he caught his eye stayed by his side from the beginning to the end, accompanying him to complete this difficult farewell.

At this moment, this person was also watching him quietly.

Sheng Yi had never seen Rong Yu cry.

He saw Rong Yu's red eyes.

At that moment, Sheng Yi's heart regained its stability, and suddenly trembled.

The emotions that had calmed down just now rushed up even more violently.

A small electric current was transmitted to his whole body in an instant along the blood vessels.

It was that moment.

Sheng Yi felt that he had completely healed.

After leaving the hospital, Sheng Yi asked Rong Yu to accompany him to eat ice cream.

Sitting on the bench outside the dessert shop, Sheng Yi held the cone and turned his head to observe Rong Yu's face seriously.

In the red light of the setting sun, the boys are handsome, the quails are beautiful, the spring roses are beautiful, the falcons are robbing

Rong Yu turned his head and looked at him.

Sheng Yi's eyes trembled slightly, and he asked tentatively: "Xiao Yu, can I give you a hug?"

Usually hugging and hugging, Sheng Yi has never been so serious.

Rong Yu looked at Sheng Yi's expression.

He nodded slightly.

Sheng Yi leaned over, stretched out his hand, and hugged Rong Yu lightly.

It was different from any hug a few days ago, Rong Yu felt that Sheng Yi's movements were very careful.

After being hugged for a long time, Rong Yu also felt a little unnatural, and asked in a low voice, "What's wrong?"

Sheng Yi didn't answer, and felt for a long time in silence.

Seeing Sheng Yi's serious look, Rong Yu suddenly wanted to laugh, and reminded: "The ice cream is about to melt."

"Did you know?" Sheng Yi suddenly whispered on his shoulder.

Rong Yu: "Huh?"

Sheng Yi said, "You are the first person to cry with me."

"..."

Rong Yu's eyes flickered slightly.

After a moment of silence, Rong Yu raised his hand and gently hugged him back without correcting him.

Whispered: "Now I know."

"En." Sheng Yi closed his eyes contentedly, feeling his own heartbeat.

"Thank you."

作者有话要说：感谢在2021-07-1107:21:28~2021-07-1208:44:03期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels of irrigation nutrient solution: 8 bottles of Yuqing; 1 bottle of Luoxue Ziyao;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!