burial

From that day on, I would wait for Chu Zhian to leave after school every afternoon, but he returned to his original state after that night.For the sake of his helping me that time, I don't bother to argue with him anymore.

After I entered the third year of junior high school, I started to study hard, and it was amazing how hard I worked.Even my parents talked to me from time to time, afraid that I would be under too much pressure, and worried that I might be stimulated by something.Chu Zhian also raised his eyebrows and asked me if I suddenly lost my way and found my way back.

This is my own secret, I want to go to a high school with Chu Zhian.

After my desperate efforts and Chu Zhian's tutoring, although the time was tight, fortunately, I narrowly squeezed into the best high school in the end.

We went to practice together in the summer vacation of the third year of junior high school. Because of the experience of being beaten in the second year of junior high school, I was determined to study hard at first, but it was still 3 minutes later.

It's all Chu Zhi'an's fault. My parents told him to watch me carefully, but he kept pampering me, and even helped me skip class later on. Everything was negotiable, and he was so talkative that I suspected that he wanted to learn well later. Just crush me.

When school started, I was surprised that Chu Zhian was in the same class as me, in the last class.

It's not fair, he's number one, he should be in the best class.The thought came so quickly that I didn't even have time to think about why I was so angry and resentful.

But Chu Zhi'an didn't mind at all, he even knocked on my head with a smile on his face, saying that he could just keep looking at me.

Former classmates said that Chu Zhi'an doesn't like to laugh, but I think he likes to laugh, he laughs whenever he bullies others, I'm sorry.

Chu Zhi'an is even more dazzling in high school, in every aspect.Since junior high school, girls have liked him, but they were a little reserved before, but now they are more and more obvious.

When I ran into someone confessing his love to him again, I finally realized dully that I fell in love with Chu Zhi'an, not because I was envious or jealous, but because I was jealous, liked, or unwilling.

I have long liked Chu Zhi'an, long before I even realized it myself.

As early as when I got used to his existence, as early as when I was beaten to protect the notebook he gave me from being torn, as early as when I saw him hurt and felt distressed and cried, as early as when I liked to stare at him...

I hadn't slept all night, my mind was in a mess, but there was no surprise or surprise.

I can't say for sure how early, it seems that Su An's falling in love with Chu Zhi'an is not a random event but an inevitable event.

I accepted the result flatly, and even thought bitterly, fortunately, this is destined to be an unrequited love with no result, and it's just my own business.

The most deviant thing I did in the past ten years was probably liking Chu Zhi'an. I never thought of giving up, nor did I think of results.

Occasionally, I would also masochistically think about what kind of person Chu Zhian will fall in love with in the future. They will fall in love, get married, have children, and live happily ever after.

And I will always be his most beloved brother, watching him from the safest corner.That's fine, I've said to myself countless times.

In the second year of high school, Chu Zhian transferred to Class 1 without warning.

Is he hiding from me, I thought with cold hands and feet.It may be that he discovered my thoughts. My acting skills are too bad. When he discovered it, he found it unbelievable, unacceptable, and even disgusted, so he avoided it.

When Chu Zhian wanted to hide from me, I couldn't see him at all, even though we were inseparable.

During the flag-raising ceremony every Monday, I would stubbornly look at the position of their class. Several times I saw him turn his face slightly, but he never looked back, not even once.

Only then did I see Chu Zhian in the eyes of others, indifferent, ruthless, and repulsed by thousands of miles. It turned out that they never exaggerated.

My grades, which were at the bottom of the crane, fell to the bottom in my daily cranky thinking.

When the midterm results came out, I was number one from the bottom, while Chu Zhian was still number one on the honor list.

I laughed out loud looking at the test paper, Chu Zhian was still the same Chu Zhian, no one could affect him.But I have no reason and position to be wronged, who told me to like him.

My parents were silent about my report card for a long time, and they began to talk to me in turn, while I sat on the sofa with my head down and said nothing.

I can't tell them that your son's grades have plummeted because he fell in love with Chu Zhi'an and lost his love unilaterally.My dad might break my leg when he gets angry, my mother will cry all day long, and the house will become restless and smoky.Seeing that I have been silent, my dad frowned and sighed, and waved me weakly to go back to the room.

I sat at the desk in a daze, and for a while, I saw the tired faces of my parents just now, and for a while, it was Chu Zhian's face, silent, gentle, and indifferent.I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear the door open.

When Chu Zhian was sitting in front of me with a book, I thought I was dreaming, I stared at the person in front of me like a fool.He was different from before, inexplicably dangerous, his eyes were calm but deep, like an unfathomable lake.He just looked at me without saying a word.

I didn't last more than a minute while staring at each other, and looked away to pretend to be calm: "Why are you here?"

"Your parents asked me to come and enlighten you."

His flat tone and expression made me angry and wronged for a moment, he knew it, he clearly knew it.

Yes, I don't intend to ask him to respond to me and I don't even think about asking for a result, but he can hate me outright, so what's the point of staying out like a bystander through a layer of window paper?See me sink, see me suffer, see me bewildered, like a clown performing alone.

I wanted to vent and yell, but when I opened my mouth I realized I couldn't even make a sound.

"Suan."

He called me by my full name on a rare occasion, and I felt inexplicably uneasy.

Sure enough, Chu Zhian put the textbook in his hand on the table and pushed it in front of me, his eyes were full of emotions that I couldn't understand, deep and restrained.

He smiled at me, just like he always did, but the words he said were like a knife going straight into my chest.

"There's a photo inside, it's someone I like."

It was the textbook for the third grade of junior high school. It turned out that I didn't know anything about it so early.I couldn't think, and took the book mechanically.

When I opened it, I even heard the sound of blood and flesh being torn.

But the instigator is still pressing on: "We'll talk after we've finished reading"

In fact, he doesn't have to do this, and it won't be so painful to directly reject me. Does he hate me so much?

When I took out the photo, the corners of Chu Zhi'an's mouth tightened. It was strange that I was the one who was about to be sentenced to death, but he looked like a condemned person waiting for life and death.

The photo is a graduation photo of the third year of junior high school. It is well preserved. It may be that the owner has often rubbed it, and the four corners are a little rough.I gasped for breath the moment I saw it clearly, and the photo fell directly to the ground.

The person up there is me.

I don't even know when he got it.

I subconsciously bent down to pick up the photo and put it in the book, my hands were shaking, and my whole body was as stiff as a piece of wood.

In an instant, joy was followed by overwhelming panic and fear, and the faces of my parents and Chu Zhian's parents flashed in my mind.

My face turned pale, and my only thought was to get out first, I can't face him now.

When I wanted to get up and go out, Chu Zhian moved. He pressed one hand on my shoulder. He didn't have much strength, but I couldn't get up. I hurriedly raised my head and looked at him. His eyes were very black, with It was a deep sense of oppression, like a dense net that trapped me and could not escape.

He called me in a calm voice: "An'an..."

My breathing became short, and I interrupted him subconsciously, "I... Chu Zhi'an... not... your parents, my mother..." I said illogical and confusing words.

But Chu Zhi'an pressed my shoulder, as if he sensed what I wanted to say, but he didn't allow me to escape, and he didn't allow me to back down a little bit.

He looked into my eyes very seriously and said: "I like you"

The world fell silent.

I can only hear my heart stop for a moment and start beating violently again.

He's saying he likes me.

Nervous, unbelievable, confused and afraid, I stood there blankly and listened to him repeating,

"An'an, I like you, earlier"

"Can't you feel it at all?"

I suddenly remembered that in the summer vacation of the third year of junior high school, I was too lazy to go to practice. At the end of the training, I secretly squatted outside the door waiting for Chu Zhian to come out, but I accidentally heard the coach scolding me, even scolding Chu who protected me. Zhi'an, the coach seemed to be very angry, and asked him angrily, what if I want to be lazy and I don't have any resistance after being lazy.

How did Chu Zhian answer at that time, he said bluntly: "I will protect him"

The coach laughed angrily: "He is a boy, can you protect him for the rest of his life?"

I heard Chu Zhi'an was silent for a while, and then his voice came out, "Yes"

It's because I've been too dull all this time to discover anything.

I seem to have split into two people, one half is enjoying the carnival, the other half is struggling in pain.

Regarding the fact that I like Chu Zhi'an, I have thought about many ways to deal with it, and each method is similar, all of which are nothing more than that I can hide it for the rest of my life, no matter who it is, whether it is a younger brother or a good friend, as long as I can stay with him Around, I will always silently bless him, and then die with this secret at the end of my life. I never thought of another possibility.

That would run counter to ethics.

That would be pain for both families.

Chu Zhian touched the corners of my eyes with his fingers, interrupting my wild thoughts: "I'm not forcing you, An An, I just want you to know."

I didn't speak, I knew him like he knew me, he said he didn't force me, but when he chose to avoid me, he was already forcing me to make a choice.

I will be at a loss because of his estrangement, and I can't help but want to get close to him, and finally tear away all appearances and make a choice.

It turned out that he knew that I liked him so much that he couldn't choose what to do after knowing everything without knowing it.

Chu Zhian didn't speak again when I was silent, he gave me enough time to think, like a patient hunter, waiting for his prey to come in willingly.

I still can't bear those unknown consequences, and I can't give up Chu Zhi'an who likes me. After all, I am only 17 years old this year, and I still have the innocence and weakness of a teenager, but I also have the frankness and enthusiasm of a teenager.

The faces of both parents are mixed with those cares and cares, and Chu Zhi'an and Chu Zhi'an are reincarnated in front of my eyes.

After an unknown amount of time, I let out a long breath and said softly to the person in front of me: "You have won!"

If there is a god, please forgive my greed, I want Chu Zhian.

I compromised, willing to lose to him, and step into the trap in the name of love.

Chu Zhian's tense body relaxed, he laughed, his beautiful eyes sparkled, almost made me feel at a loss looking at him.

Seeing this, the corners of his lips became even more curved. I watched this man move forward inch by inch, and finally pressed against my forehead intimately.

I grabbed the armrest nervously, my whole body was stiff on the chair, my cheeks and ears were steaming, he laughed suddenly, then retreated slightly, looking straight at me with a pair of eyes: "An'an, I have everything."

I slowly stretched out my hand, bit by bit, tentatively, and finally, I hugged him.

I hugged him like that tearful night, his embrace still had the thinness that belonged to a teenager, but it made me feel like I owned the whole world.

From this day on, the name Chu Zhi'an has another meaning for me.

Boy friend.

It's unique, sounds like something special.

From now on, Chu Zhi'an is my Chu Zhi'an, mine.

Just thinking about it in my heart gave me the urge to raise the corners of my mouth.