Beyond friendship is love

Weather on Wednesday, X, X, XX: sunny

On the way back from school, Xiao said that he had broken up with his girlfriend.I was a little worried about him, afraid that he would be too sad, and thought about how to comfort him. After all, he spent so much effort to catch up with that girl, and she even asked me to write a love letter for her. She must really like it.

I still remember so clearly the pain that flashed through my heart when I saw them kissing on the trail that day.I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know what to say.

However, his expression is completely different from that of the person after the breakup, with the same hippie smile, the same indecency, and the same mouthful of calling me "wife".I don't know why I have such a dirty mind, every time Xiao breaks up with his girlfriend, I feel very happy, if Xiao knows that I have such thoughts, will he be angry and ignore me.

I was a little confused.However, I can't show it, I'm afraid Xiao will worry about it.In fact, as long as he is good, I think everything is good.

We have been together since childhood, and I have been thinking, if one day, he left my side, how would I live?

Stop writing, that guy came over, and I heard his loud voice when I was still downstairs.With such energy, I must let go of the breakup, and I can feel relieved.

……

The weather on Monday, X, X, XX: cloudy with light rain

Xiao, moved out of the dormitory.

I knew that I had done too much, and no matter how angry I was, I shouldn't hit him. I was really angry at the time.

The person you love, eager to push you to others, maybe those who have never experienced it will not understand at all. It is a kind of frustration that wants to pour out all the love but is powerless. It is also a kind of betrayal.

I don't know why Ji Yiran knew about my love for Xiao, I thought I was not obvious, but Ji Yiran saw through it, and I don't know why he knew I was in the piano room, shame on me, I was crying in front of a stranger who is considered to be a stranger. Maybe it's because this kind of love has been suppressed for too long, and I was completely defenseless against Ji Yiran.

Xiao said that I love Ji Yiran, I don't know where he got such a ridiculous conclusion, but in fact, what Xiao cares about is not whether I like Ji Yiran, but that the person I like is a man, he feels disgusted , Perverted, so stay away from me.

Heh, just because I was afraid that he would be disgusted, I resisted not daring to confess. Unexpectedly, such a situation would still arise.

It was the first time he had quarreled with Xiao when he grew up so big, and it was the first time he did such an absolute job, refused to answer the phone, and moved out of the dormitory, because he was determined to draw a clear line with me.

what should I do?

The person I love thinks I am a pervert, what should I do to be good to me and him?

……

The weather on Saturday, X, X, XX: sunny

Some people say: When the heartache reaches the extreme, you will hear its broken sound.I used to disapprove, even scoff.

But now, I seem to be able to hear my heart, which is withering piece by piece, falling to the ground and falling apart.

An Shixiao was engaged, and he finally belonged to that woman.The man who used to call me "wife" and "daughter-in-law" will withdraw from my life little by little in the future, and then devote all his attention and love to others. Xiao, will be someone else's husband, someone else's father.But I can only let love flow in the corner like this, not daring to speak out.

Xiao, my love, you who I love the most in this life, you know how painful my heart is now, I am crazy and drunk for you, but you treat me like a poisonous snake.

I lay in the hospital for half a month, every day, every hour, every moment, every minute, every second I was expecting you to appear, even if I just looked at me and didn't speak, I would be very happy, really.In the end you still didn't come.

An Shixiao, do you really reject me that much?Don't you even miss that little old love?

When you were hugging Fang You, did you think of me a little bit, when you lived happily together, did you think of me, how tired I am to live alone with this fruitless love, sometimes, I Really hate you, why push me out of your life, why can't I love you, why?

Obviously you hurt me like that, but I found that I can't hate you at all. I love you so much, how can I be willing to hate you.

You are engaged and belong to someone else.Am I really supposed to give up, Xiao, tell me, if this heart that beats only for you is allowed to die, how can I live?

I want to die drunk like that, but I can't, I know that all my family members are worrying about me, I have to force myself to cheer up, watching you and Fang You are happy, watching you treat me tenderly, bit by bit Drop off to others.

Xiao, I wish you happiness, really, you must be happy, don't let my heart hurt in vain, don't let my love suffer in vain.

……

With his head lowered, tears fell directly from his eyes onto the notebook, soaking the handwriting, An Shixiao suppressed his crying, and read every word carefully.These words are all about Shen Mingyan's deep love for him. That fool has always loved him with such a heart.

——Yanyan, Yanyan, how could you think that I don’t love you, how could I not love you, it’s because I’m too slow, I hurt your heart that loves me so deeply, it’s because I’m too stupid to see clearly I thought you were intoxicated.I'm not alienating you, looking down on you, or hurting you because you love men, I'm just jealous, jealous that Ji Yiran can get your love, obviously I've always been the closest person to you.I dare not face up to the fact that I am in love with you, and I have been avoiding that feeling, just because I am afraid that I will not be able to bear the fact that you are in love with others.Look, we are all fools, we are obviously in love, but we torture each other like this, wasting so many years of time.

An Shixiao spent the whole night reading Shen Mingyan's two diaries. Every day, every page, An Shixiao appeared the most.It seems that Shen Mingyan has only one An Shixiao in his whole life.

He could feel so clearly that Shen Mingyan loved him more than his own life.

Sometimes, if you love someone too much, you will neglect to care about yourself, and all your emotions will only fluctuate for one person. Is this kind of love too sacred, or will it become a burden for each?

As for the mysterious existence of Yanxi, An Shixiao finally found the answer in Shen Mingyan's diary.It turned out that Yanxi was Shen Mingyan.Did he ignore Shen Mingyan so much that he used to be by his side every day, and he didn't know that Shen Mingyan had this pseudonym? In vain he felt that he was the person who loved Shen Mingyan the most. Fortunately, Shen Mingyan loved him deeply. He really deserves to die .

Knowing Shen Mingyan's more secret thoughts, An Shi Xiao wanted to beat himself up severely.

An Shixiao opened those magazines and found that there were several certificates among them, all of which were the honors obtained by Shen Mingyan after he submitted the manuscript.And those few literary magazines have published articles published by Shen Mingyan.

Putting all the things back into the wooden box, and putting them back on the top shelf, An Shixiao just sat blankly on Shen Mingyan's bed.

In this room, there are too many childhood memories of him and Shen Mingyan, but now, he is still there, but the owner has left. He admits that he can't stand it anymore. It has been more than a year, and he misses Shen Mingyan so much. This failed chase made him more and more frustrated.He was afraid, what would he do if Shen Mingyan no longer loved him?But now, what else can he do besides chasing and waiting?What can he do to restore the heart that he has hurt so badly?

Two months later, An Shixiao got on the plane to F city.Just because of a false news report.

That day, An Shixiao didn't enter the company until close to 11:[-] a.m. because he had an appointment to discuss things outside. He originally planned to go directly to his office, but on a whim, he went to inspect various departments.

As soon as he walked outside the door of the secretariat, he heard the voices of several women who were almost screaming in excitement. An Shixiao frowned a little displeased.The voice that wanted to stop, but heard the content below, stopped abruptly.

"Wow, since this concert lineup is really the most ostentatious, I can't wait to see it." Secretary A was holding a newspaper in his hand, and looked dizzy like a nympho.

"Really, really, I heard that Yanxi is going to be invited to help out." Secretary B had the same expression, but he just got into the newspaper.

"Who is Yanxi?" Secretary C asked, although she liked Ji Yiran very much, why hadn't she heard of Yanxi?

"Why are you so OUT, you don't even know Yan Xi."

Secretary A said contemptuously: "Yanxi is Yiran's good friend. It is said that they are college alumni."

Secretary B immediately explained at the side: "That's right, the title song of Yiran's latest album is written by Yan Xi. Besides, I heard that Yan Xi's violin is also very good, she is simply a genius. According to reports, a However, the concert specially invited Yanxi to play the piano, but the name Yanxi is very famous, but this person is too low-key, and now I don’t know what he looks like, but we are so handsome, Yan Xi must also be a handsome guy."

Several people were thinking about it, and they were so excited that they couldn't hold it.

"Really? I really want to go to the scene." Secretary C was also aroused, dancing and dancing, unable to restrain his excitement.

"I can go. I asked my friend to help me buy a ticket for Yiran's concert next month. Don't you envy me?" Secretary A was triumphant, and took out his phone to show off the photo of the ticket.

Sure enough, it caused a voice of envy.

"Wow... Really, we really want to go too. Can you ask your friend to buy one for us too, I really like Yiran." Several other people also gathered here at this time, looking Seeing the photo of the ticket in Secretary A's mobile phone, he was a little uneasy.

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